The Complete Razia Series, page 87
Harms nodded and left through a back door. His apartment was a few stories above his bar, and she hoped—prayed—that Sage would come down. Her back was aching and she breathed through some low-intensity cramps, which she'd been having since leaving the Vortex. Bianco had said she'd start having them in her last month, and it made her even more eager to get back to S-864.
Thee bar was quickly filling up with pirates, she began to question the sanity of talking to him in front of a crowd. And a crowd it was—she groaned when Relleck and Linro Lee took a front row seat next to her.
"Looking good, Razia," Relleck said. "Say, I've never slept with a pregnant chick before. You think it's any different?"
"Why don't you ask Teon?" Lee said with a snicker.
"Oi, knock it off before I knock you out." Ganon was now a party to her embarrassment, but she was glad to see Vel show up beside him. She waved at him, but Vel gave her such a dirty glare that she retracted her hands and placed them back on her belly, turning her eyes to the door and waiting.
After an eternity, she heard footsteps coming through the door and frowned when Lizbeth came out, looking livid. She walked right up to Lyssa, intent on striking her, and Lyssa cowered back.
"I told you to be careful with him!" Lizbeth seethed.
"I know, I know, I'm trying to make it right," Lyssa said. "Just…please go get him?"
"She doesn't need to."
Lyssa turned to see Sage standing in the door. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was greasy. But she felt that same angry fire radiating off him as he took her in. He glared at Lizbeth and said, "You said she was here with the baby."
"I didn't lie," Lizbeth said, gesturing to Lyssa's stomach.
"I asked her to get you," Lyssa said, pushing herself out of the chair. She didn't get a good grip on the chair and fell back down. With a glare to the room, she pushed herself upright and sighed. "Look, we need to talk."
"Are you still pregnant? Then I have nothing to say to you." He didn't even bother looking at her.
"Sage, please," she whispered, not even embarrassed to be standing here, swollen bellied, begging Sage to listen to her, in front of probably the entire pirate population.
Yep, she spotted Dissident and Contestant wander in, pushing their way to the front of the now crowded bar.
"I told you that I was done, and I meant it," Sage said. "You and your self-centered, egotistical….Ugh!" He threw his hands up. "I can't even look at you anymore, I'm so done with you."
"You're right."
"Yes, I know I'm—"
"I am the worst kind of person." Another tear fell down her cheek, followed by another, as the dam she had spent so many years shoring up burst. A loud, barking sob shook her body as the release reverberated through her. He turned, eyes wide, but she buried her face into her hands as her shoulders shook.
"Are you crying?"
He was concerned and a little bit confused. She tried to speak, but only choked. Labored sobs came out as she placed her head in her hand, trying in vain to get a hold of herself. Once the dam had broken, the emotions flooded out like a river. She took heaving breaths, but that only served to make it worse.
His hand came to her cheek, brushing away a tear. "Why are you crying?"
"Because I can't…" she sniffled.
"Lyss, I—" His face softened. "I shouldn't have said—"
"You were right though." She lifted her eyes to meet his.
"Lyssa, I didn't mean—"
"I know what I say is wrong. I know I'm mean and hateful…" Her lip began to tremble. "And I know that I am, and I can't…I am so scared I can't change." She took a long breath in. "I've spent so long blaming everyone else…everything that's ever happened to me…for the way that I am. Because… because that was easier than admitting…" She took another shaky breath. "Easier than admitting I'm… I'm responsible for the way I am."
"Lyssa, I—"
"I spent my entire life thinking I was damaged in some way," she whispered. "Everything bad that ever happened to me… my father leaving, Tauron's death… I always knew it was because of me… Because in my soul… it's less painful not to try than to be hurt again because I will always get hurt…" She sniffed and more tears fell. "Because I thought I didn't deserve to be happy."
"Yes, you do," he said, brushing away her tears with his thumb.
"I know," she said with a smile. "I finally figured it out. And I just… I want to fix this. I don't want my kid to grow up thinking that she's not loved. Because I do… I love her." She laughed a little when his eyes flashed in happiness. "I love this kid more than anything. And I… and I love you, too. I want us to be a family, and I want—"
Sage took her cheeks in his hands and kissed her gently. She might have heard a little whooping from the crowd, but she didn't register it. She pressed her forehead to his and let more tears fall freely down her cheeks.
"So help me, I'm dragging your ass to therapy," he said. "Because you so need it."
She opened her mouth to retort something to him when a wave of pressure rolled through her and her hands flew to her stomach. "Ow."
"O…ow?" Sage's eyes widened. "Ow?"
Her hands clasped around his arms to support her as the pressure turned into pain and the need to push. "Ow!"
She sunk to her knees, bracing herself through the pain. Someone beside her was coaching her to breathe and two hands clasped hers. When the pain released, she took deep gasping breaths.
"Shit," Lyssa whispered, looking up into the eyes of Vel and Lizbeth, who had taken hold of her hands.
"Are you ready for this?" Lizbeth said with a grin.
Lyssa violently shook her head.
"It's okay," Vel said, glancing at his mini-computer. "This can take hours and—"
Another tightening started in the back of her body and moved forward. She clenched her fists and breathed through it, feeling like it was worse than the first.
"Wait a second." Sage stood behind her. "That's too close together."
"Sera said…sometimes they come quicker," Lyssa whispered, trying to remain calm between the contractions. "Call Sera, call Sera. Call…" She gritted her teeth. "Sera."
"Yes?" Sera's voice echoed on Vel's mini-computer. "Is she going into labor?"
"Yes!" Lyssa cried as the contraction pulsed.
"How close together?" Sera asked.
"Too close," Sage said. "Maybe a few minutes?"
"Damn," Sera said. "Okay, can you find her a bed or somewhere to lie down?"
"I have a backroom?" Harms offered, appearing at her side.
"No, no, no!" Lyssa barked, clutching Sage as he helped her up. "I am not having this baby in a pirate bar!"
"But it's the best pirate bar in the city?" Harms said with a laugh.
"And I don't think you have much of a choice, Lyss," Vel said. "To the backroom!"
Sage and Vel half-carried her into the back and helped her up on a table, with her protesting the whole time. "This is bullshit. I am not having a baby in here. It's gross and filthy. What if something goes wrong, what if—" She clenched her jaw as another contraction pressed down on her.
"Stop bitching and breathe." Sage sat behind her and she leaned into him. Sera's voice barked directions to Vel and Lizbeth, and Vel's mini-computer was pointed straight between her legs.
"Yes, that looks about right, looks like you've been blessed with a quick labor. Jinjina's last was fifteen minutes."
"Blessed is not the word I would use," Sage grunted, grabbing onto Lyssa's hand. "Okay, what do we do?"
"You are going to have to keep Lyssa calm, okay? Vel, I want you to hold the mini-computer steady. Lizbeth, you're going to have to catch the baby."
"This is not what I signed up for when I became your best friend, by the way," Lizbeth said with a wink. She handed the mini-computer to Vel, who held it steady.
Lyssa was aware that she was breathing, and that every few minutes, contractions occurred, but the number of times began to blur together until she heard Sera say, "Lyssa, I am going to need you to push now, all right? Two big pushes and this will be over."
"Did you hear that?" Sage said in her ear.
Lyssa grunted and grasped his hand tighter. "I don't think I can do this."
"Yes, you can."
"Push!"
Someone was screaming, perhaps it was her. Everything was hazy now, even though she could hear loud noises and see Lizbeth telling her to push. Vel was to her left, one hand holding the mini-computer, the other clasping hers. Sera's face was on the mini-computer, smiling and nodding. And Sage was behind her, where he'd always been.
"Push!"
Then she heard it. The wailing.
Her eyes flew open as a small, pink squirming thing with a loud squeal appeared in Lizbeth's arms.
"It's a girl…" Lizbeth choked out as she placed the baby with a shot of wet, black hair in Lyssa's arms. The room grew quiet except for the squalling coming from the little face taking big gulping breaths.
Lyssa had never seen anything so… There were no words. She had literally no words to describe the range of emotions coursing through her as she held her little girl in her arms.
Her little girl.
Her daughter.
Lyssa gently stroked her baby's cheek, and realized her own were wet. She took the tiny hand in hers and smiled. All the fear, the worry that Lyssa would never be able to love her own daughter, was gone. The idea that Lyssa would ever leave was laughable. She'd never let this beautiful kid out of her sight. Nothing else in the entire universe was as important to Lyssa as this little girl, and she was going to make sure her daughter knew it every day.
"Hi there," Lyssa murmured.
"She's perfect," Sage whispered, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Leveman's… She's so perfect." His hand came up to cup the baby's head and gently brush away the goo there. "We did good, Lyss."
"We did," she said with a small laugh.
A loud sob broke the bubble between them, and Lyssa finally remembered that Vel and Lizbeth were still in the room. Lizbeth's face was beet red as she sobbed what could only be described as ugly tears, and while Vel seemed to be a bit more dignified in his emotion, he was barely holding it together.
"Congratulations," Vel said, brushing hair out of Lyssa's face. "That was impressive."
"More impressive than taking down Dal Jamus?" Lyssa asked.
"Yeah," Vel said with a laugh. "Much more impressive."
Lyssa looked down at her daughter and grinned. "I have to say, I cook a pretty beautiful baby."
"Lyssa, that's vulgar."
"Oh, I forgot about you," Lyssa said, looking at the face of her sister in the mini-computer screen. To her surprise, Sera's face was also wet and twisted with happy emotion.
"I am so proud of you," Sera said. "Now come home. I want to see my new niece as soon as possible."
"Thank you," Lyssa said. Then, smiling, she added, "And I will." Sera nodded and ended the call.
"But really, you do cook a really nice baby," Lizbeth said, coming to stand on the other side of Lyssa. Lizbeth leaned down to press a kiss to Lyssa's head and Lyssa leaned into it.
"Thank you, too. I couldn't have done this without you," Lyssa whispered.
"What are best friends for but getting up in your business?" Lizbeth said with a laugh. She brushed a hand over the baby's face. "What's her name?"
"I… don't have one," Lyssa said, panicking. She'd been calling her 'bug' for so long that she'd never even considered an actual name. "Sage?"
"Er…"
"You didn't name her?" Lyssa blanched.
"Well, I did, but…" Sage hesitated. "I didn't think you'd like it."
"What, is it like Taurona or something stupid?"
"R-Ragen," he said. "Little bit of you, and a little bit of me." The cheek she could see turned a darker shade of red. "I mean, Ragen Lyssandra. If you want."
"Wait a second," Lyssa said. "What if it was a boy?"
"Sage. Obviously."
She barked laughter. "What happened to, little bit of you, little bit of me?" Sage shrugged and she rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I just had a baby with you." But as she said it, she smiled. "I can't believe I just had a baby with you." She gazed at her daughter again, seeing so much of herself and at the same time, so much of Sage. "You know, I hate my full name. How about Isabel for a middle name? I think that sounds better, you know?"
"Isabel?" Vel said, sharing a look with Lizbeth. "Where'd that name come from?"
"It was my mom's," Sage murmured quietly. "That sounds great, Lyss."
"Aw, you big softy," Lizbeth said, patting Lyssa on the leg.
There was a knock at the door. Harms poked his head in, eyes closed. "Is everyone decent? I want to see my godchild."
"Uh, he's not the godfather," Vel said, giving Sage and Lyssa a look.
"We'll figure all that out later," Lyssa said as Lizbeth tossed a blanket over her lower half.
But it wasn't just Harms, it was Harms, Ganon, Sobal, Keal, Nalton, Dissident, Relleck, Linro Lee—
"Lizbeth!" Lyssa barked, holding her baby closer. "Crowd control, please!"
Lizbeth nodded and turned to the growing crowd in the back room, counting off five and shooing the rest out the door. She took special care to kick Relleck out, making sure he knew he wasn't welcome back in at anytime. She allowed Ganon, Sobal, and Harms to remain, and they crowded around Lyssa with wide grins on their faces.
"You really pushed that out of you?" Sobal asked, wide-eyed.
Ganon scoffed. "Can't take this kid anywhere, you know?"
"She's beautiful, Raz… Lyssa…whatever in Leveman's I call you now," Harms said. "Are you going to continue bounty hunting?"
She arched her brow at him. "Um. Obviously."
"I expected you would," Harms said with a hearty laugh. "Just give it a few months, okay? Vel can uphold the family name."
"Yeah about that," Lyssa said, glaring at Vel. "Time to quit Ganon's crew and come work for me."
"Lyss," Vel said, sharing a look with Ganon. "I mean… I love you, but… I kind of want to see what it's like on a real pirate ship, you know? I mean, you had Tauron." He looked down at the baby in her arms. "Besides, you're going to be pretty busy, right?"
She followed his gaze and looked into the bright eyes staring back at her. She could give up bounty hunting for a bit if it meant she could stare at this beautiful creature all day. Without taking her eyes away from the baby, she reached out her free hand to grab Ganon by the shirt and yank him down to her level, saying sweetly, "If anything happens to my brother, I swear to Leveman's Vortex that I will destroy your manhood."
Ganon laughed, but she heard the requisite amount of fear. "I promise I'll take good care of him."
She let him go and returned her hand to her baby, who was starting to squirm and writhe. She realized, very suddenly, that she had a living, breathing thing in her arms that she was responsible for.
"What do we do now?" she whispered to Sage. "Do I… do I feed it or something?"
"How about we find you two a hospital and get checked out?" Sage said. "Then we'll figure it out from there."
"But I would take the backdoor," Harms said. "Because it's packed out there. It's a good thing Jukin's out of commission. He'd have his pick of the top pirates."
"See?" Ganon said proudly. "What I'd tell you—most famous kid in piracy!"
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lyssa Peate, bounty hunter, new mother, all-around kickass human being, strutted down the orange dusty streets of D-882 with a smug smile on her face. Next to her, wearing their two-month-old daughter, was her…Sage. Her Sage, that was how she decided to define him. Not as if she'd given much thought to their status during weeks of sleepless nights, breastfeeding, diaper changes, and near constant visits from Lizbeth, Vel, Ganon and his crew, and even a week-long stay from Harms.
Before she'd known it, Ragen was at her two-month checkup and the calls started from Dissident, reminding her that she was supposed to be his top bounty hunter and she needed to get her ass in gear and capture some pirates, as long as she stopped in and let him hold the baby for a bit (she'd agreed to the first part, but not the second).
For this trip to D-882, she had her eyes set on Dalton Burk, one of the last few pirates remaining of the old guard in Contestant's web. She'd found some very old research on him that was still good after nearly two years, and was hoping to nab a quick win.
She glanced over to Sage, who had one hand in hers, and the other scrolling through his mini-computer, with Ragen tied tightly to his chest. There was something so incredibly sexy about Sage when he was fathering. She was particularly grateful when Bianco gave her the go-ahead to start working out again, among other things. Sleepless nights had resulted in their fair share of blow-up arguments between the two of them, and it was nice to be able to make up with him in all the fun ways. Things weren't perfect, and yet they were. She found herself too busy enjoying her life to worry when it would come to an end.
Lyssa peered between the folds of the wrap to make sure her baby was still sleeping. Sage was typing a message to someone.
"Who are you talking to?" Lyssa said to Sage.
"Sera. She wants to know if you still want her to come visit next week or if you'd like to come to the Manor for a few days."
Lyssa considered the proposition. Faced with the unknown territory of motherhood, Lyssa'd found herself in near constant contact with Sera, who had been a wealth of information. After the fifth call during one particularly sleepless night during the first few days, Sera had offered to come spend a week and help out. It went so well that Lyssa had asked her to come back more often.
She had also found out during this visit that Mrs. Dr. Sostas Peate had "decided" to move into one of her many guest houses (far, far away from the Manor) and that Jukin had been volun-told to live with her to ensure she was well taken care of in her old age. The two of them were rarely seen around the Manor anymore, except by expressed invitation from the new matriarch, Sera. True to her word, she'd allowed everyone else to stay in the Manor if they chose to, even moving Lyssa's room to a larger suite with an attached nursery.
