Before She's Gone, page 20
"I will," she promised, fully knowing he wouldn't let her go if she didn't.
John dropped her off to that same parking lot she left her car at, and from there she drove back home.
You can do this, she reminded herself turning into her street.
Parking and getting out of the car took no time at all but she wavered stepping inside.
Stay strong, she told herself.
Amanda already gave herself a little pep talk on the way there but it couldn't hurt to do it again.
A lot of things happened inside these walls so it was understandable she was wary. Because she couldn't be sure what or who she would find inside.
"Jacob?" she called out, dumping her car keys on the table that stood beside the door. But no one greeted her back.
"Bill?" she tried again, feeling completely silly for doing that in the first place. But maybe that would earn her some brownie points if she called him by his other personality name.
Regardless of her efforts, the house felt empty.
"Where's Daddy, you guys?" she asked her pets, walking into the living room.
But they only stared at her. Wouldn't it be great if they could talk to her and tell her everything? She felt slightly guilty for not finishing their tank cleanings, but she was so stressed out, they wouldn't want to be near her anyway right now.
Turning away, she knew she needed to find Jacob.
"Jacob?" she tried again.
Amanda checked the downstairs and thought that maybe he’d fallen asleep in their room when she noticed while in the kitchen that the garage door was open.
Going inside, she discovered Jacob's car was gone.
That instantly put her on high alert.
Did he go out to look for me? she wondered as a fresh wave of guilt washed over her. This wouldn't have happened if she hadn't freaked out and ran out of the house.
But in reality, she couldn't say that with certainty. Maybe something else made him take off.
And that thought was even more troubling.
She didn't like the idea of him sitting behind a wheel. He almost crashed once in the past, that she knew of, and only managed to get out of it alive because she was there beside him.
Jacob snapped out of that episode only because she’d helped him, but now he was completely alone.
Should I call him? she worried, already dialing but his phone went straight to voicemail.
Crap, she cursed.
Where would he go? she asked herself.
In search of inspiration, she started looking about but she knew this whole place inside and out, especially after her search so she knew there was nothing there that could help her.
Amanda couldn't quite say what made her rush all the way upstairs to the attic in the next instance. Other than that was the only place that still held some mystery to her.
She even allowed herself a moment of pride she was there in the first place without giving a damn about how creepy the place was.
But the moment Amanda stepped inside she knew her instincts were true.
The light was on.
"Jacob? Bill? Are you in here?" she tried just in case.
But there was no one inside. At least not anymore.
But why was he here in the first place?
Stepping into his secret place, Amanda instantly saw that the computer was on. And that filled her with hope she could maybe find some clues about what Jacob was doing there in the first place. Which in turn could pinpoint his current location.
She moved slowly, carefully toward the setup until she reminded herself that there was nothing wrong with the floor. That was just an excuse Jacob used for her not to wander up here.
Everything was left open as if he left abruptly, she realized.
Amanda didn't like that one bit but forced herself to get closer and inspect the content of his secret computer.
Grabbing the mouse that still felt warm to the touch, even though she was certain that was just her imagination, she started searching through the files looking for some clues.
Come on, come on, she urged, impatiently.
There was a part that was additionally password protected so she let that be for now. Because there was no way she could guess the password, she was fully aware of that now.
Not with Bill in the picture, she thought glumly.
On the other hand, she had no problem opening up his email account.
There was just one problem with it.
It wasn't Jacob's account at all. Her eyes bulged going through it.
This can't be right, her mind rebelled even though the evidence was literally staring her in the face.
"Oh my God," she gasped, realizing what she was seeing. It was a good thing there was a chair for her to sit in because suddenly she couldn't feel her legs at all.
Jacob what did you do? Why? she wondered, scrolling through the email history.
All the emails sent to Andrew, Jacob's late father, were sent from this account.
Oh, Jacob, she felt so sorry for him. And couldn't help but wonder what happened to him behind those massive mansion doors. She dreaded the possibilities and missed the times she suspected Andrew was merely harassed because of some tax evasion, or a feud with a client.
But this was so much worse than her wildest dreams, or nightmares as it were.
Because it was more than apparent something tremendous happened for Jacob to turn the way he was, fragmented. And for him to do something to his own father.
Her heart started hurting so much, but she pressed on. She needed to know everything.
Taking a deep breath, she clicked on one of the emails.
What did that bastard do to you? Amanda asked in exasperation. She needed to make sure these were the same emails that Detective Gains showed them. So there could be no shadow of a doubt Jacob had sent them.
Even though the address matched, she needed to see the content with her own eyes.
The email in question opened up immediately but Amanda only managed to skim through the content, easily verifying it was the same one she’d read some time ago because her eyes landed on the attachments.
This was the source so the attachment image was still available unlike on Andrew version.
Suddenly Amanda's throat felt a bit dry but she tried to open it by clicking on it nevertheless.
And it opened.
Unfortunately.
"Oh my God, no," Amanda exclaimed as the image was displayed across the screen.
It was a picture of a very young boy. He was completely naked just standing in the middle of a poorly lit room and looking at whoever took the shot.
But the most troubling, disgusting part was the fact that there was a grown man, wearing a head mask, standing behind him. He was also completely naked and fully erect.
Oh God no, no, no.
But Amanda couldn't look away from the boy's face.
He didn't even looked scared or hurt. His eyes felt lifeless, dead as if all the hope abandoned him long ago.
Oh Lord, what kind of beasts could do this to an innocent child like this one? she cried to the heavens. They all deserved to be in Hell for an eternity!
Amanda was never confronted with child pornography before but she knew this image would haunt her forever.
Oh no, God, no. Why? Amanda couldn't take it anymore, picturing this young boy abandoned and unloved. She was disgusted and horrified at the same time because she discovered something like this on Jacob's computer that he sent to his own father with words enjoy it while you can and felt completely sick to her stomach.
The image in front of her hit her so hard that she started throwing up then and there.
Amanda's eyes watered up as she heaved.
That poor boy, she wanted to sob, and cry and rage, fully knowing he wasn't the only one. There was a lot of predators in this world and at that moment Amanda wanted all of them dead.
She stopped throwing up.
She ignored the bad taste inside her mouth as she wiped it clean against her sleeve.
And then it really hit her.
Oh my god, Jacob.
Is that what happened to him growing up?
Is that the reason he sent all those emails to his father because he was angry, hurt and wanted some kind of revenge?
Her stomach threatened to lurch again but there was nothing inside for her to evacuate.
Oh, please God no, her mind still rebelled from all the implications. Because the truth could be too horrible. But the evidence in front of her was overwhelming. No wonder Jacob was having such a hard time.
Jacob's father was the monster and Amanda hated him too now, and like she never hated anyone before.
Once she managed to calm down a little, Amanda closed the attachment in a hurry, trying really hard not to see the picture again, because if she did she would start to dry heave again, or even something worse. And this was no time for falling apart.
She was there to learn the truth and that was precisely what she was going to do.
Even if it killed her inside. Jacob needed her.
Skipping all of the emails Jacob sent to Andrew, Amanda forced herself to open all the new emails Jacob sent to Melinda. Because she’d lied, she received more than one.
Melinda didn't want to tell her the exact content of the email she received but Amanda was adamant at reading it anyway. And the rest of them.
From the first paragraph it was apparent Jacob blamed his mother for allowing Andrew to abuse Jacob. Either by being absent or turning a blind eye, she failed him regardless.
And Amanda agreed.
And it was obvious to Amanda, how Melinda figured out who sent it.
He wasn't vague in this letter as it was in Andrews.
He called her a bad mother a lot, but Amanda couldn't help but notice the language itself.
This doesn't sound like Jacob at all. But a scared little boy. And that additionally caused her grievance.
Because despite the fact Amanda knew Jacob or Bill sent these emails she wondered who actually wrote them.
But what completely broke Amanda down were the images attached to the letter.
Even though her heart pounded like crazy and her breathing became shallow, almost erratic, Amanda opened them all.
The pictures were all of the same boy, but not the same one as before. They were vile as the previous one. Naked boy on a display for all the world’s perverts to see and enjoy.
I'm going to be sick again, Amanda realized and had to close her eyes for a moment to calm down.
It helped to a degree, but she didn't have time for gentle feelings so she continued. And instantly she spotted something familiar about him and prayed like hell she was wrong.
She couldn't be quite sure but he looked around seven or eight. He looked a bit small for his age and skinny. The boy had tears in his eyes in all the photos, and that was when she realized why he looked so familiar to her.
I know him!
Those were Jacob's eyes staring back at her.
"Oh God, this can't be happening." She stifled a scream.
Amanda never saw his baby pictures before but she was dead certain she was looking at her husband.
And what convinced her, even more, that she was right, was the scenery. All the shots were taken on the small podium in the attic she visited not so long ago.
No wonder Jacob freaked out that day when he discovered his father's secret torture chamber.
It was a miracle he managed to keep it together this long at all, she mused.
But did he really? she countered herself.
He had Bill after all.
The screen started the get blurry in front of her eyes and that was how Amanda realized she was crying.
Oh my love, my poor Jacob.
How could that man, no, a monster do this to you? Amanda asked the innocent looking boy in the picture.
The boy who pleaded with every fiber of his being for help. Even though he was completely motionless.
That made her cry even harder.
Keep it together, Amanda, she snapped at herself.
She still had to find Jacob before he did something stupid, or hurt himself, so she needed to find something useful in there that could help her find him.
Although she discovered plenty already, she was sure she would have plenty of nightmares in the years to come about this, but for now, she pushed everything aside and focused on the other things.
Amanda noticed there was another letter left in the drafts, unsent, that was addressed to his mother.
It was written only a few hours ago, which surprised her a great deal. But it also showed her a state of mind Jacob was in while writing it.
It was pretty much the same as the one before but it still tied her stomach into a knot.
Jacob was accusing Melinda of being a bad mother and abandoning him when he needed her the most. He attacked her for not protecting him, even going a step further to assume she knew everything about his husband's depravities and still let it happen.
Did she really allow that monster to torment Jacob? Amanda dreaded the answer to that question.
Amanda hoped none of it was true, for Jacob's sake.
In the end, he showed her the proof, the pictures, forcing her to acknowledge the truth and demanded she take full responsibility for what happened to him or he would do that on her behalf by releasing all the pictures Andrew took and Jacob somehow managed to get a hold of.
But if this letter was unsent then that could only mean he got a better idea in the meantime.
Jacob, no, Amanda knew precisely where he went so abruptly.
It all made sense now. Everything.
The strange behavior of an estranged son, the emails full of threats Coreys’ didn't want anyone to know about and the dysfunctional family that was barely ever in the same room together.
I need to stop him, she thought with sudden urgency, forcing herself to get back on her feet and start moving.
Leaving everything as was she tripped on some beams lying around but that didn't stop her, all the while praying like crazy she was wrong with her assumptions. But something deep inside of her was telling her she was dead on.
Amanda was certain Jacob went to confront his mother.
She could just picture it. Jacob or whoever started writing another letter after she left, feeling angry, hurt, confused, but reconsidered at some point. He couldn't go through it because it somehow hadn't felt enough anymore so he decided in the spur of the moment that it was time for an honest to God face to face chit-chat.
But would he stop there? Amanda wondered with dread.
It was obvious his need for revenge, for justice, ran deep but Amanda feared he would cross the line and do things he couldn't be able to forgive himself later.
Maybe not as himself, but as one of his other personalities.
Please God, let me get there in time, she prayed with all her might taking down two steps at a time to reach the ground floor quicker.
Pausing ever so slightly just to pick up her keys she slammed the front door behind her, not even bothering to lock it before she entered her car.
Before she started the engine, Amanda had one phone call to make, but before she knew it that was over and she was speeding toward the Corey's mansion.
I really need a faster car, she realized flooring the gas pedal.
She checked the time as if that would help her in some way.
She didn't have the faintest idea when Jacob decided to visit Melinda. So calculating his head-start was impossible.
She debated if she should call Jacob's mother, but eventually ruled against it. She didn't want Jacob to know she was coming.
That could make everything worse if he started to panic.
She wanted to catch them off-guard and that way prevent him from doing something reckless.
Please, Jacob, wait for me, she pleaded.
Don't do anything stupid, please, for the love of God, she prayed non-stop.
Speeding through a barely yellow light she wanted to jump out from her skin. She couldn't get there fast enough.
I'm coming, baby, I'm coming.
I'll save you...Even from yourself...
Chapter Seventeen
Amanda
Amanda felt like the drive to Melinda’s house went on forever.
Come on, come on, she fumed when she had to stop at another red light.
Who invented those stupid things anyway?
Watching it change from red to green drove her to madness. Why does it take you so long to change? she wanted to shout at that inanimate object.
But in all fairness, she would complain, and feel the same way even if his mother lived right next door because even crossing a street would feel like an eternity in her state of mind.
I need to be there right now! she reminded herself for the hundredth time.
Amanda was in a rush, worried and scared, and that was a bad combination any time but especially while driving.
There wasn't that much traffic on the roads but she felt like she wasn't going fast enough.
"Come on, move it!" she yelled at the driver in front of her because it took him forever to turn left on the intersection.
"It's not rocket science! Just turn!" she continued in the same manner. Amanda even honked at the driver, something she never did before in her entire life, and he honked her back.
"Learn how to drive," she shouted.
She never experienced road rage before but it felt good to yell and blame someone for her troubles.
But on the other hand, maybe she should tone it down a bit. Amanda didn't want to cause an altercation while on the road, because that would slow her down even further.
I need to get to Jacob, was constantly on her mind. She had a sinking feeling something bad was about to happen.
That last email to Melinda was pretty bad.
Don't think like that! You'll find him in time, she tried to calm herself, but it wasn't working. Not this time.
Because her gut feeling never proved her wrong before.
Amanda knew something was going on with Jacob, and boy was she right. Granted, a multiple personality disorder never crossed her mind as a possibility, but nobody was perfect.
And maybe she was digressing for a bit, but Amanda's New Year's resolution was going to be to trade her car for something faster.
