The Bucket List, page 34
Noeul wasn’t the only one close to going up in an inferno of lust. Jordan’s center spasmed, clenched, and released. Fuck, I’m ready to come and she hasn’t even touched me yet. She wanted Noeul, wanted to lick down her neck, suck the pulse point, and run her hands all over the beautiful body in her arms.
Jordan drew back and placed her forehead against Noeul’s. She could feel her own chest rise and fall quickly. “God, Noeul, I’m on fire.”
“Glad to know I’m not in this by myself.”
“Not by a long shot.” Jordan nuzzled Noeul’s ear and tilted her chin so she could draw the soft lobe into her mouth. Noeul physically shivered in her arms.
Noeul ran her hand down Jordan’s arm and back up to her neck. “You’re so beautiful.”
Jordan laughed and traced Noeul’s fine features. “Looked in the mirror lately?”
“Jordan, I’m over fifty. My days of being beautiful are pretty much behind me.”
“Your mirror is broken, because what I see is a gorgeous woman with incredible green eyes and luscious, kissable lips.” Jordan paused and pushed an escaped lock of Noeul’s hair behind her ear. She kissed her, nipping and biting softly on her lower lip.
Noeul drew in a deep breath and lowered her head.
Jordan closed her eyes for a moment, doing her best to calm her racing pulse. “Don’t hate me for what I’m about to say. I’m going to slow this down. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted more. My body is telling me to push the accelerator. Unfortunately, my head and heart say it’s time to pump the brakes.” Jordan tipped Noeul’s chin up until they were looking eye to eye. “And I think you are a hair’s breath away from running far away from me. If not in body, in heart and mind. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to. So, let’s take our time. We know the attraction is here.” Jordan closed her eyes and drew in a ragged breath. “Let’s see if all the rest is too, at your pace. Okay?”
Jordan felt Noeul stiffen slightly, before she relaxed against her and released the breath she’d been holding. Noeul shook her head affirmatively.
“Now, let’s have some fun. I spied something else to test your dance skills.”
“Jordan, I told you I’m not much of a dancer.”
Jordan walked over to the CD player, loaded up her selection, then turned and grinned as the unmistakable tinny, guitar riff began. She crooked her index finger toward the laughing woman and extended her hand. By the time Van Morrison reached the chorus about his brown eyed girl, Noeul was following Jordan’s lead as she pulled the shorter woman in and out. As they slid around, Jordan spun them in a tight circle, holding her close. She leaned back and extended her arms, while she harmonized the sha la las. Noeul’s smile swallowed her face. Time. We just need time. I’ll give her all she needs and the chance we both need.
***
Noeul lay in her bed, staring at the shadows shifting across her ceiling. Her mind wouldn’t settle, and her body was a long way from quieting. Her center pulsed and thrummed with need. Kissing Jordan was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. Maybe she was fooling herself. She reached for the journal she’d basically abandoned since Jordan’s arrival. As the words began to pour out of her, she felt a heavy weight being drawn from her shoulders. It was as if each word was so heavy on her soul, that the only way to relieve the burden was to put it to paper.
I have no idea what happened tonight.
Dammit.
That’s a lie. I do know what happened. An attractive, charming, and engaging young woman looked at me with eyes that saw right through me. With each look, each touch, she reached through the solitary sadness I’ve lived with since Aggie’s death.
What the hell am I doing? I’m twenty years older than she is. For that matter, what in the world does she see in me? I’ve seen at least one of her previous girlfriends, and I am nowhere in that class.
There’s something about her though. To be honest, I felt ten years younger tonight. She even had me swing dancing in the living room. I thought I’d forgotten all those steps Mom taught me. Dancing with her took me right back there.
Her playfulness made me smile more tonight than I have in ages, and it’s been years since I’ve laughed that much. Every time I grew fearful, she felt it and soothed me. God love her. She stopped what would have led us down a road right into this bed. Of that I have no doubt. I was hanging on each kiss, and my God, those eyes! Deep pools of molten desire. I never imagined wanting anyone else to touch me again. I know this, if she’d not cooled us down, I would have spent the night with her. In the morning, I’d have hated myself. It’s too fast, too soon. Maybe the worst mistake I might ever make. Why am I so indecisive? I loved Aggie, still do.
But that kiss. I can still feel it. My whole body is on fire thinking about it. I’m still wondering if there will be another and dammit, when? I think about everything she’s told me she went through to get here. None of that can be happenstance. Can it? The dreams, all the things Aggie said to me, it must be Jordan she was talking about. Aggie confirmed it with that ringing phone in Shepherdstown. I asked for a sign and she gave it to me without words.
Am I ready to take a chance on this, on Jordan…hell, on me? This place isn’t Jordan’s home or her dream. At some point, she’ll walk back into her life at Cornell, and where will that leave me? Is it worse to be lonely with a loss I’ve long since learned to endure, or risk facing another loss in a month, six months, or a year if she stays her whole sabbatical? And then what?
Questions, questions, questions and no magic eight ball to shake for answers.
Noeul closed the journal, her shoulders lighter. Her heart still felt like lead in her chest being pulled straight to her stomach. Her hands pressed against her pounding temples. She walked to the bathroom for some aspirin. Filling a small glass with tepid water, she threw back the pills and raised the glass to her mouth. Noeul looked into the mirror and caught a glimpse of something she hadn’t seen in years. Her eyes gleamed with what looked like hope.
***
After a fitful night’s sleep, she rose and started to the kitchen, pausing outside of Jordan’s bedroom door. Noeul startled, shocked that her knuckles were inches from the smooth wooden surface. She pulled her hand to her side and covered it with the other, while she moved quickly into the kitchen. It was still very early. She was surprised when Kyo didn’t greet her. Kyo had been sleeping side by side with Bandit since he’d arrived. Kyo normally wished her a good morning with a wet nose to her palm when Noeul’s feet hit the kitchen floor.
A spoon lay on the sink, a tea bag pressed to it and a mug missing off the hook above the coffee pot. She let her fingers touch the teabag and felt the lingering warmth. Noeul looked around the empty living room, noticing for the first time that both dogs were missing. She stepped to the glass wall looking out into the yard, daylight barely visible. What she could see, was the figure of a tall woman sitting in a chair facing a small fire in the pit, two dogs at her side.
Guess I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep.
Noeul turned on the coffeepot, stepped to the sink, and splashed some cold water on her face. Droplets ran off her jawline, as she stood there looking at the teabag.
I’ll bet she didn’t make coffee because she didn’t want to wake me with the smell.
Thoughtful, but futile. She pulled eggs, cream, and butter from the refrigerator and a cast iron skillet from the cabinet. The crisper contained bell and hot peppers and onions that she gathered, along with some goat cheese. Noeul cooked the breakfast burritos and assembled two plates. She poured them both a cup of coffee and loaded everything on a tray. She slid the door open with her hip and closed it with her foot.
When she got to Jordan, she saw relaxed features and a death grip on an empty mug held in her lap. Noeul allowed the smell of the strong brew to announce her presence. It didn’t take long, and she watched as Jordan opened one eye and looked in her direction. A small table sat between the chairs, and Noeul put the tray down and traded Jordan a cup of coffee for her empty mug.
“Brought you some breakfast. I was trying to be quiet and not wake you. I noticed the tea bag in the sink and realized you must have slept about as well as I did. Thought you could use some high test.”
Jordan grinned and closed her eyes. “You’re now my hero.”
Noeul watched her pull in a deep breath, inhaling the aroma. She enjoyed watching a contented smile cross Jordan’s face as she took her first sip followed by an appreciative groan.
“Oh yeah, definitely my hero.”
“I take it you are happy with the coffee?”
“God, yes. I didn’t want to wake you, so I settled for some tea.”
Noeul nodded, as she reached out and grabbed the poker to stir the coals while taking a sip from her own mug. “You could have made coffee. I wasn’t sleeping either.”
Jordan tapped the arm of the chair with her free hand. “I’m sorry if I did anything that made you uncomfortable last night, I apologize. I won’t lie about my attraction to you. If I pushed it in any way, I’m sorry.”
Noeul sat back and took a bite of her burrito, indicating Jordan’s plate to her. She covered her mouth. “Oh wait, I forgot the salsa. I’ll be right back.”
Jordan reached out and gently caught her wrist. “I’m fine unless you need it. Thank you.” Jordan picked hers up and took a bite. She chewed and laid her head back with another groan. “This is delicious. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Noeul let the silence sit for a few minutes, while they ate and sipped coffee and she found her courage. “Jordan, you didn’t do a thing last night that I didn’t want you to. I’m sorry if I wound you up and left you hanging. I’m not a tease, or at least I didn’t used to be. It’s been a really, really long time since I even thought about kissing someone.”
“I can understand that. You’re the first person since Tina that I’ve even gone past a moment of casual flirtation with. Never wanted to open myself up to the possibility of betrayal again. I got my trust shattered the last time and was in no mood to travel that path ever again.”
Noeul noticed the phrase included was instead of am. “That’s not anything I would ever do to you, Jordan. I mean it.”
“I know that. I think that’s why it was so easy to open the door to the possibility. That and you’re a beautiful woman.” Jordan took another bite of her breakfast, chewed, and stared at the flames in the fire pit. “I wrapped myself up in my work and buried that part of my heart.”
Noeul sat back, her breakfast forgotten. “And now?” Jordan turned those dark eyes on her, causing her to feel her pulse skip as they glinted with firelight.
“Now, the earth has been pulled back and someone turned on the sun.”
They sat there for a few moments before Noeul spoke again. “That shovel apparently gets around.”
Chapter Nineteen
JORDAN DECIDED SHE REALLY needed a friendly ear to bend. A call to Dava, or maybe even her mother, was in order. Her emotions were so jumbled up, they resembled those bent-wire puzzles her dad used to make for her. You had to really move the pieces around and look at them from every angle to see how to take them apart or put them back together. To make that call would require a trip off the mountain. She also needed to check in on Max. His condition had been improving when she’d last called. Unfortunately, things could change in the blink of an eye.
After the sun finally came up, she approached Noeul in the kitchen. “Hey, do you think I could borrow one of the horses to go down to Miranda and Kelly’s? I need to check on Max and pick up a few more things from my Jeep. If not, I can walk down. It’s not a problem.”
“Jordan, you don’t have to walk. The horses can always use a workout. I’ll go down with you. I need to take a fresh supply of soap and lotion for the cabins. Give me a few minutes to get things settled here and we’ll ride down. We can stay or come back up, that makes a difference in how long it will take me to be ready.”
“If it’s okay, we can come back. I only need to make some calls and check on my research plot with my assistant. When I was up there last, she had an issue. What needs to be done with the animals? I’ll do that while you get things ready.”
Noeul gave her a list of small tasks, which she quickly accomplished. She saddled the horses and called the dogs, who were playing under the shade trees.
Noeul stepped to her. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Jordan looked back at the barn. “Do you need to check on what I did before we go?”
Noeul stared at her and grinned. “No, I trust you. Let’s go.”
With a small smile, Jordan shook her head and mounted Thor for their ride down, appreciatively noticing how good Noeul’s ass looked in the saddle. Stop it. Concentrate on getting down the mountain without falling off by becoming distracted.
They talked about the research on the way down the mountain and arrived, dogs in tow, in under two hours. Greeted by a smiling Kelly, who exited the house wiping her hands on a dishtowel, the pair dismounted near the porch. Jordan led the horses over to the corral, while Noeul carried in the saddlebags loaded with lotion and soap.
Miranda greeted her with a wave and a handshake. “How goes it?”
Jordan put on a smile that masked some of her trepidation. “Good, we’ve made some progress working on the grafting research. That place is great. I was completely blown away by everything she’s done up there. It’s like no place I’ve ever been.”
“I didn’t expect you guys today. Everything alright?”
“Yeah, I need communication devices.” Jordan laughed. “I need to check on my friend Max. He was being moved to the rehabilitation center when I left. I want to make sure he’s still on the mend. I also need to touch base with my research assistant at Cornell to check on some progress. Lastly, if I don’t call my sister every few days, she gets twitchy…with Noeul being an axe murderer and all.”
Miranda laughed. “I’m sure it’s hard being out of touch with the world. “Though it’s one of the reasons we stayed here after we retired. It’s nice being out of the fray sometimes.”
Jordan shook her head in agreement. “Very true, I didn’t miss it while I was up there, per se. Even though so much was going on when Noeul found me, the chance was too good not to come. Like it or not, the world still spins around after we step off. Anything I can help you with?”
Miranda waved her off. “Nah, I’m good. I’m sure Kelly and Noeul are in there cooking something up for lunch. I’ve got to go to town for a bit. Feel free to use whatever you need. We’ve got an extra data cable you can use if you need to hook up a computer or anything.”
“That’d be great. I’ll need to borrow your phone if my satellite phone won’t get out, if that’s ok. It didn’t work the other day when we were here.” She held up her phone. “I thought I’d give it another try.”
“Anything you need, Jordan. See you later.”
Jordan waved as she watched Miranda head into the house, only to come back out, hop in her truck, and drive off. She was pleasantly surprised that service on her phone was better. She punched in Sam’s cellphone number and waited as it rang through.
“Jordan.”
“Hey, Sam. How’s Max?”
“Crankier than normal, if you can believe it. Chomping at the bit to come home. Trying to get him to understand that the doctors say he’s not ready has been difficult. He’s settled in at the rehabilitation facility. His pain is under control with meds. Unfortunately, they add to his confusion.”
“Oh, Sam, I’m sorry. Do you need me to come home? Because I will. I can be on the road by tomorrow morning. You say the—”
“Jordan, as much as I’d love to have you home, there is nothing you can do. Nothing at all, other than visit. His bones have to heal, and we need to get him off the meds to try and clear his mind. How’s our boy?”
Jordan laughed as she looked up to see the dogs flying around the corner and into the field chasing some unknown foe. “Having the time of his life. Noeul’s dog, Kyo, is his new best friend. It’s like they were separated at birth and are making up for lost time. He goes to bed tired every night.”
“Kiss him on the forehead for us. Now, how are you?”
“I’m good. Working with Noeul is as amazing as I thought it would be. We’re making good progress in only a few days. You should see her place. It’s incredible. Do you think Max would be up to a call? I don’t want him to think I’ve forgotten about him.”
“I left there not more than a half hour ago. They had brought him back to his room after therapy. He was wiped out, but I will make sure I tell him you asked about him.”
“I’ll send an email with everything going on, and you can read it to him when you go back. I’ll include some pictures I took of Bandit and Kyo playing. You can show him those.”
“How long do you think you’ll be there, Jordan?”
“No idea, Sam. Why, is something wrong, something you’re not telling me?”
“I promise, I’m telling you everything. The reality is, I don’t know what is going to happen when the rehabilitation center tells me he can come home. He’s tired, Jordan. This took the wind out of his sails. I have no doubt he’ll come home. My only concern is that he’ll need more care than I can give with the restaurant schedule, at least initially. I’m trying to keep you informed.”
“Sam, I will be home tomorrow if you need me. If anything changes, you call immediately. I gave you the number. It will take a friend a horse ride up the mountain to deliver the message, two hours in good weather. You call, and I will be on the next plane home, okay?”
“We love you, Jordan. I promise to let you know.”
The friends ended their call. Jordan tried hard to hold in the tears that threatened to escape. She bit her lip and ran her hands through her hair as she paced. She was terribly worried about Max, not only his current condition, but about losing him. Without noticing his arrival through her closed eyes, she felt a wet nose nuzzle her palm. She slid down against the side of her Jeep, holding Bandit and allowing his soft tongue to bath her face and kiss away the tears. “I’m okay, boy, really I am.” She buried her face into his black-and-white fur, while she worked to regain her composure. When she felt she could make her next call, she pulled the phone back up while Bandit settled his head on her thigh.
