Believe for It, page 8
To love God fully and pass that on to others, I must constantly invite Him to heal and renew my heart, soul, and mind.
This isn’t an easy task, because we have an enemy. In John 10:10 Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (ESV). The enemy has a strategy to take down our souls and keep us from the tasks God has for us to do. But Jesus offers us abundant life. The Greek word for abundant is perissos, and among its meanings are “above and beyond,” “superabundant,” “superior,” and “excessive.” Jesus offers us a better way to live—a way we can experience His goodness and be grateful for the blessings in our lives. And His way of living is over the top, far superior to other ways of living. He cares about our physical, emotional, psychological, social, and spiritual well-being. He created us and knows how these things are all connected.
If the life Jesus offers is above and beyond, super-abundant, excessively good, why do we see such a different picture of our world? Are we failing to unlock and take hold of the grace-filled life Jesus offers? I think that’s a part of it. Is the enemy winning more than he should on the battleground of our mental and emotional health? Absolutely. But another important factor to consider is the simple reality that our natural world is corrupted by the effects of sin and the fall. And as a result, we’ve got problems.
Paul described it this way: “We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time” (Romans 8:22). We live in fallen bodies with fallen brains and fallen chemical reactions. This is all part of the groaning Paul describes. Every generation has its problems. Unfortunately, statistics reveal that the mental health crisis in our world is growing.
During the past few years, as the COVID-19 pandemic changed our lives in significant ways, reported instances of anxiety, depression, stress, and other disorders in both adults and children rose significantly.1 The number of those saying they experienced suicidal thoughts also increased sharply. And while social media connects us in ways we could only dream of in the past, its primary users—millennials—are the loneliest generation. According to data, 30 percent of millennials say they “always or often” feel lonely, and 22 percent say they have no friends.2
These statistics are important for us to consider, because when our own mental health is in disarray, we can’t effectively love our neighbor and pass on faith to others. You can’t pour out of an empty cup. When I interviewed Tabitha Brown, influencer, actress, and author of Feeding the Soul, for Generations Live, she described her healing journey, which was both physical and emotional. Earlier in her life, she explained, she had put everyone else’s needs above her own, something many women can relate to. She poured into her husband and children and friends until she was depleted physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.
“I love my family,” she said in her effervescent manner, “but, honey, without me being full Tab, I had nothing to give. I had to do that self-work and tell myself some hard truths. We’ll lie to ourselves and tell ourselves we’re alright. I had to tell Tab the truth.”
She described talking to herself in the mirror one day, trying to give herself some encouragement. As she spoke, she realized she was whispering, even though she was the only one at home. “I realized I was afraid of me, because I didn’t know who I was,” she said. That moment was profound, because she realized she’d been playing a part to make others happy and it was taking a toll on her mental health.
“Make sure you know who you are,” she exhorted the women at the conference. “If we don’t know who we are, we’ll take anything, we won’t stand for anything, we’ll let people treat us any kind of way, and we won’t treat ourselves well. We deserve to be well.”
I agree that wellness is God’s desire and design for you and me. From a place of wellness, I can better fulfill His purposes in my life. However, for that to happen, I must acknowledge the truth of who I am—who God created me to be—and allow His Holy Spirit to fill me. That may involve allowing Him to do some repairs on my cup. I love the encouragement contained in Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” As we trust in God, He fills us to overflowing with joy, peace, and hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
BONE DRY
When I was the young mom of two toddlers and had a busy recording and touring schedule, I felt depleted on many days. I felt so many people needed things from me, and I was stretched so thin. I know this is a common feeling among mothers. My daughter, Ashley, is a mother herself now, and it’s amazing to be reminded of how much time, energy, and attention those sweet little babies require.
When I was in that season, I often felt like my own wants and needs were selfish. When that check engine light of my soul would come on because I was exhausted, irritable, or dropping the ball, I’d ignore it and keep driving. Meanwhile, I felt guilty, as though I was letting everyone down. That mindset pushed me further away from Jesus’s abundant, grace-filled, overflowing-with-hope life. I knew that His desire for me was wholeness of my body, mind, and spirit, but I didn’t always do what was necessary to protect my emotional health.
As I look around, I think our culture perpetuates mental health struggles. Smartphones, social media, workaholism, and the rushed pace of life all contribute to the mental health crisis we’re seeing around us, even among our young people. I am so thankful social media wasn’t a thing when I was raising my children. Mom guilt was bad enough without scrolling through a feed and seeing the photo evidence of other moms doing it better. The comparison, worry, and discouragement social media can induce is so far from the abundant life Jesus died to give us.
One day everyone who believes in Jesus is going to heaven, where heartache and pain will cease to exist. But I want you to hear this: God means us to experience His abundant, Spirit-filled life down here right now! We must do what is necessary to allow the Holy Spirit to fill our cup so that we can effectively pour into others. Let’s consider a few ways we can do this.
Be alert to the problem. We must acknowledge that mental health challenges, including mental illness, are a significant problem in our world. Mental illness is connected to other destructive issues, such as crime, homelessness, addiction, mass shootings, and suicide. As we look for ways to address these problems, we must also keep in mind whose influence is responsible for such devastation. We’ve already looked at 1 Peter 5:8 once, but let’s consider its warning again: “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
At the time when Peter was preaching, Emperor Nero persecuted the Christians by throwing them into arenas to watch them be mauled and killed by wild animals. I wonder if the apostle had this mental picture in mind when he described our enemy. Satan is aggressive and proactive in his goal of killing our souls and keeping us from telling others about the hope found in Jesus. While God is far more powerful, we shouldn’t underestimate Satan’s ability to wreak havoc on our lives and emotional health. We must be alert to his schemes so that we can resist them.
Pay attention to your check engine light. We all know those moments when we feel at a breaking point. Maybe you have a stressful job, and you’re burning the candle at both ends. Perhaps you’re a mom of young children, and the demands of life are flying at you at a dizzying pace. Maybe you’re carrying unresolved trauma, or you’ve been in a season when you’ve taken an emotional beating. Perhaps you’ve just been feeling low-grade sadness for months with no change, and you wonder if you’ll ever feel like yourself again.
These are the moments to sit up and pay attention. Has the check engine light of your soul turned on? These vulnerable moments can create opportunities for the enemy to swoop in and attempt to “steal, kill, and destroy” what God is doing in your life. When warning signs pop up, don’t wait to take a deeper look. Be proactive. Don’t allow the seed of unhealth take root. Talk to someone about what you’re feeling and experiencing.
Develop a strategy. If wholeness is our goal, we must proactively address emotional health struggles the same way we tackle other problems in our lives. As always, we start with the Word of God and prayer. We must be in the Word. At the Generations Live conference, Dr. Charlotte Gambill talked about letting God do surgery on our spiritual eyes before we lose our vision. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 4:12, “The word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” The living Word of God does surgery on our souls. As we pursue wholeness, we must be in His healing Word every day.
Prayer is another powerful tool in our quest for emotional health. Psalm 30:2 tells us, “Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.” Healing comes through prayer and the Word of God. So many times I have fought through difficult circumstances on my knees. I saw my grandmother, father, and mother do this. I know the power of prayer. I have also asked my brothers and sisters in Christ to pray with me. We need intercessors— people to pray with and for us—in our lives, especially in times of struggle or suffering.
While the Word and prayer should be our primary means of soul care, sometimes the battle may be bigger and require a more robust game plan. When I had Dr. Anita Phillips on the Generations show, she shared some powerful truths about how mental illness interacts with our spiritual lives. Dr. Phillips, who is a trauma therapist, life coach, and host of the In the Light pod-cast, has extensive experience with the topic of mental health, including having a sister who struggled with mental illness. She pointed out that just like physical health, mental health is a continuum. Each of us falls somewhere on a scale between optimal emotional health and severe mental illness. This should cause us to pay attention to our mental health, even if our symptoms aren’t as severe as someone else’s. We should all check in with ourselves to see where we are on the continuum and if we need support.
Ephesians 6:12 tells us that our battle is not primarily physical. Forces in the spiritual realm battle for our souls, and the enemy, who is crafty, will use our thoughts and emotions to gain a foothold. Ephesians 6 tells us to put on our gear—the full armor of God—which includes the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, sandals of the readiness of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit, which is the Word of God. We’re encouraged to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions” as we engage in this warfare (Ephesians 6:18). So many of our battles contain this spiritual element, and God does not leave us unprepared or ill-equipped.
In every battle, you must also have a strategy. As we understand more about how emotions work and the landscape of the battlefield in our minds, we can lean into these strategies, which include finding community that can help us stand strong, engaging in habits of self-care, seeking out professional counseling, and pursuing medical attention when we find ourselves in a crisis.
“We have learned how the engine works,” Dr. Phillips said about the training professional therapists receive. “God’s creativity is infinite, but the problems our minds and bodies encounter are repetitive. When your car isn’t working right, you take it to the mechanic. When you have cancer, you go to the doctor and begin a treatment plan. When your mental health is going down, you should go see a counselor. Prayer and the Word are weapons; therapy is a strategy.”
Your strategy for increasing your mental health may include therapy. Maybe it includes taking better care of your body through nutrition and exercise to balance hormones. Perhaps you need to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier so you can start your day in the Word and in prayer. Maybe you need to shut off your social media accounts. You may need to say no to things and decrease your commitments. You may need to make time in your week to meet with a friend for a heart-to-heart conversation and prayer or go on a date with your spouse. Each person’s strategy for maintaining optimal emotional health will look different. Just make sure you have one.
Make space for emotional healing. When we are in a distressing place emotionally, we may be tempted to apply a quick fix and keep going. We must address emotional brokenness. Proverbs 15:13 says, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” When our spirit has been crushed, we are spiritually vulnerable. But as we address our emotional health and bring it before the Lord and into the light of community, we allow God to fill us with His spiritual power.
Our emotions are not sin; the way we handle our emotions can be sin. Jesus felt every emotion but did not sin. He is our sympathetic Savior, and there is no condemnation in Him. God doesn’t remove the struggles of our flesh when we trust in Him, and those struggles include our thoughts and emotions.
One reason many of us don’t experience emotional healing is because we’re ashamed to talk about what we’re going through. So many of us walk through suffering and pain in isolation. This can create the illusion that we are alone or the only one having this struggle.
At a recent women’s event, surveys were passed out that contained common struggles women face: low self-esteem, feeling overwhelmed, infertility, body dysmorphia, sexual shame, loneliness, and many more. Women were asked to check the box on all struggles they were currently experiencing or had experienced in the past. After they had done this (without writing their names on their papers), ushers collected the surveys and redistributed them at random.
As the speaker read each struggle from stage—“loss of a child,” “eating disorder,” “depression,” “anxiety”—each woman stood if the box was checked on the anonymous survey she had received, symbolizing an actual woman in the room. For many of the struggles listed, more than half of the women stood. And when the speaker read “loneliness,” nearly every woman rose to her feet. After the exercise, the women reported feeling relieved to know they were not alone in these issues and emotions that plagued them. Knowing that others struggled with the same things offered hope and encouragement.
We need to be able to tell someone we trust that we are in the thick of battle or have been wounded by a past experience. Talking about our struggles, confessing sin, and applying God’s truth from His Word frees us from shame and false guilt. Like a salve, the Word begins to heal our emotional wounds, but sometimes we need another to apply it. Looking back on moments when I struggled as a mom, in my marriage, and even now as a woman in my fifties, community and friendship made the difference between having a hard day and having a hard season. God has consistently used the people He’s brought into my life to remind me of His love and that I can overcome through Him.
PASSING IT ON
As we acknowledge our need for emotional health and healing, and develop a strategy to address problem areas, God will meet us there. The power of the Holy Spirit makes us whole. And as we come to a place of greater wholeness and peace, we can invest what God has given us into the next generation.
Our kids need to understand how to be emotionally well in a world that regularly shows them the opposite. Some of the most popular shows for young people portray and normalize depravity, addiction, and emotional instability. We must ask the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom to minister to this generation and point them to the truth of God’s unfailing, life-giving Word. What worked for our parents and grandparents won’t necessarily work for the younger generations. When I was growing up, I could receive a harsh rebuke from my parents and hear it in love. But someone who grew up in an abusive home could hear the same exact words and receive them as abuse. It’s a translation problem. I think this was the heart of Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 9:22: “To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”
It’s OK and even imperative for those of us who are older and more experienced to take note of the specific emotional struggles of younger generations and cater to them in order that we might draw them into saving faith in Jesus Christ. As a mentor to the younger generation, I have had to learn how to express myself in different ways so that I don’t offend or cause more damage to those I minister to. While the Word and prayer may have been sufficient for me to maintain my emotional health, someone else may require the help of a counselor or therapist to address his or her specific challenges. We are all at different places in our journey to emotional health, and we will only be made completely whole when Jesus returns and we spend eternity in His presence.
In the meantime, as we receive God’s grace we can ask for wisdom to leave a legacy of emotional wellness and help the next generation chart a course to living the excessively good, abundant life Jesus offers. Our children need to know that our God can redeem their greatest heart-aches and restore their crushed spirits. He is with them in suffering, and His love is better than life. Emotional wholeness is possible through Him.
QUESTIONS to CONSIDER
• What is an action you need to take in pursuit of greater wholeness, mental health, and emotional wellness?
• What are some emotional struggles or barriers to wholeness that you have observed in your generation? In the next generation?
