Believe for It, page 6
Many books have been written on how to pray for our children. But seeking God on behalf of the next generation need not be complicated. We can pray Scripture over them. We can pray for their future spouses and children. We can pray for God to uphold them in the immediate struggles they face, that they would see the Lord’s hand in everything they walk through. We can pray simply that God would draw their hearts to Himself and that they would walk devotedly with Him.
Prayer is a gift. The Lord invites us to approach His throne of grace with confidence to receive His help. As we pray for our children, we place them into His capable hands, believing that He will respond to our prayers with help and healing. Prayer also requires discipline. Most of our lives move quickly. If we don’t schedule time to pray, other things will crowd it out.
It may not surprise you that the average person spends three hours on his or her phone each day 6 (and for baby boomers and younger people that number jumps to over five hours!).7 While it’s hard to find consistent statistics for how long the average Christian spends in prayer each day, I can guarantee it’s not three hours. Imagine how our spiritual lives might soar if we spent three hours a day—or even one hour—approaching God’s throne on behalf of the next generation.
Create an attractive atmosphere. I am a big advocate for the truth that walking with Jesus is not boring. Growing up, my parents did a great job of making family life fun. We went bowling and skating, played little league baseball and basketball, and played outdoor games in the neighborhood. My dad was often the ringleader for all this recreation. Our friends came to our house like bees to a hive, and we all knew they were coming to joke around with dad.
Second Corinthians 2:15 says, “For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.” Our Christian walk shouldn’t resemble drudgery. It should be attractive and inviting to outsiders. People have asked if I felt restricted by my parents’ strict rules, and my answer is not really. That’s because my life was full of fun and laughter and good food and joy.
MAXIMIZE MEALTIMES
Let’s talk about food for a moment. Not only do I associate being in God’s house with the smell of delicious food, I also have countless good memories of sitting around the Winans’ dining room table. At Christmastime, we didn’t receive gifts from our parents (because they never embraced that part of Christmas), but the holiday still brimmed over with joy and cheer. We had good food, laughter, great music, and each other’s company as we celebrated our Savior’s birth.
In their book The Hour That Matters Most, Les and Leslie Parrot cite studies that show that the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are to engage in risky behaviors such as smoking, drinking, drugs, and eating disorders. And yet, only 30 percent of families eat meals together on a regular basis.8 We live in such a fast paced society that making this happen can seem nearly impossible. But I think it’s worth considering ways we can use mealtimes to build faith.
In the Jewish tradition, mealtimes are meaningful. God commanded His people to celebrate multiple feasts throughout the year. One of the most well-known is Passover. This meal, which symbolizes the Israelites’ journey out of slavery in Egypt and into the Promised Land, teaches children about God’s faithfulness and His promise of a Messiah. Each detail reveals something about God’s character and His plan.
If you’re still not convinced of the role of food (and sharing a meal) in passing on faith, consider the many references to banquets and feasting in Scripture— Numbers 10:10; Psalm 36:8; Song of Songs 2:4; Luke 14:15; Luke 15:23; to list a few. Banquets are mentioned as a means of celebration, sustenance, comfort, and even protection. Psalm 23:5 tells us this about our Good Shepherd: “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.”
Food is one aspect of creating an attractive environment for passing on faith. The comfort and joy of following Jesus is meant to be experiential. Psalm 34:8 says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.” I never had to guess what this verse was talking about. My walk with God literally involved tasting good things.
Be present. One thing my parents did well was to be present. When they weren’t at work, mom and dad were available to us. We didn’t have to work hard to have a conversation with our parents. They were simply there— physically and emotionally present.
I tried to emulate this quality when my kids were young. All the years I had a regular tour schedule, I made it a priority to fly home after many concerts so that I could spend time with my family. I wanted to be there in the morning to have breakfast with my kids and pray for them before they went to school. Sometimes these decisions came with a financial cost or the loss of certain opportunities, but I don’t regret it. Being there had a profound impact on my marriage and our children.
Being present in the lives of young people is necessary for the conversations mentioned in Deuteronomy 6. These faith discussions are happening in mundane moments— sitting at home, walking along the road, going to bed, and getting up. We need to be present in those moments. Even if your children are older or out of the house, it’s never too late to offer the gift of your presence. Thanks to technology, it’s easy to schedule a phone call while you’re driving or taking a walk.
Research shows that parents spend more time with their children than parents did fifty years ago. However, today’s children must compete with cell phones for their parents’ attention. Brandon McDaniel, a researcher on family relationships, has called this phenomenon “technoference,” and experts are concerned of its long-term impact on children.9 Our obsession with checking our phones not only impacts family relationships, it can also impede our ability to transfer our faith values to the next generation. Being physically and emotionally available to our children is critical to their spiritual development. We must create spaces for discussing God, His ways, and His plan in our everyday lives.
Support spiritual growth. As I have already mentioned, helping our young people find their place in the church is vital to passing on faith. If our top priority is for the next generation to know and follow Jesus, we must prioritize activities that lead to spiritual knowledge and growth. Part of this is encouraging and enabling your children to regularly attend church and other groups and functions that build faith. My parents paid special attention to the activities in which we were involved. They made sure we got to youth group, Bible studies, and choir rehearsal.
Another way to support spiritual growth is to provide Christian resources. We can make sure our young people have a user-friendly Bible, devotionals, and books on theology and Christian living. If they don’t like to read, connect them with audiobooks, podcasts, or online sermons they might enjoy. And don’t underestimate the power of Christian music. My parents only allowed Christian music in the home. Not only did we gain an appreciation for artists such as Shirley Caesar, Andraé Crouch, and so many more, but the words of those gospel songs touched our hearts and grounded us in the truths of God’s Word. I love playing worship music for my grandson, Wyatt, and seeing him worship the Lord in his sweet toddler way.
Another method of encouraging faith is to provide opportunities to serve. Most churches need volunteers in multiple areas. Church work days, community outreaches, and mission trips are ideal places for youth to serve.
PUTTING IT TOGETHER
When I think back to my childhood, my parents and their generation excelled at doing the work. They taught us the Word, encouraged Christian fellowship, and taught us to pray and fast. Each year at Christmastime (and sometimes on Mother’s Day), the Winans family put on a concert for the community at Detroit’s Mercy College. I’m not sure how my parents scraped together the funds to sponsor those Christmas concerts, but they did. They invited all of Detroit to join us for an evening centered on love and family. Mom and Dad wanted to remind everyone of the true reason we celebrate Christmas—Jesus, who came to be God with us and save the world.
Offering this gift of music to the community filled my soul with joy and brought home the true meaning of being blessed. Being blessed in the Lord isn’t about material things; it’s about His love flowing through you. To put on those concerts, we spent months planning, selecting music, arranging, rehearsing, and gathering the equipment we needed. We learned how to work together, sing together, and use our individual gifts. Looking back, putting on those concerts was one of the greatest gifts our parents could have given us.
Those events, which filled out the seven hundred seats of the auditorium, paved the way for us to become professional musicians and performers. Serving the community with my family was a blessing and reminded me that part of my purpose as a Christ-follower was to serve others and share the gospel. I realized I could overcome my shyness, contribute to the kingdom, and tell others about the hope I had.
The generation behind me—they did the work. My parents and grandparents studied the Word, they taught, they corrected, they upheld truth, they loved, they prayed, they served. They gave me the gift of their presence and taught me how to be a colaborer with Christ. I wouldn’t be the woman I am without their tireless investment. They embodied Colossians 3:23–24, which says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
Passing on faith to the next generation requires work, but it’s work worth doing, because the reward is great. And the best part is, we don’t do the work alone.
QUESTIONS to CONSIDER
• Who in your life has put in the work of training you spiritually? (It may be a parent, a pastor, or a mentor.) How has this person enhanced your walk of faith?
• What are some ways you can lay the foundation of faith in your home, specifically in the next generation?
• Which disciplines do you see as most overlooked and necessary?
1. CeCe Winans, On a Positive Note: Her Joyous Faith, Her Life in Music, and Her Everyday Blessings (New York: Pocket Books, 1999), 14.
2. “Mental Health of Children and Parents—a Strong Connection,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, April 19, 2022, www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/features/mental-health-children-and-parents.html.
3. “Frequency of Reading the Bible among Adults in the United States from 2018 to 2021,” Statista, accessed June 20, 2022, www.statista.com/statistics/299433/bible-readership-in-the-usa/#:~:text=Bible%20readership%20in%20the%20U.S.%202018%2D2021&text=A%20survey%20from%202021%20found,to%2029%20percent%20of%20respondents.
4. Danielle Haynes, “Pew Poll: Number of Americans Who Identify as Christian Further Declines,” UPI, December 14, 2021, www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2021/12/14/Pew-poll-religion/4101639510653/.
5. “Average Daily Time Spent Watching TV in the United States from 2019 to 2023,” Statista, accessed June 20, 2022, www.statista.com/statistics/186833/average-television-use-per-person-in-the-us-since-2002/.
6. Trevor Wheelwright, “2022 Cell Phone Usage Statistics: How Obsessed Are We?,” Reviews.org, January 24, 2022, www.reviews.org/mobile/cell-phone-addiction/#:~:text=On%20average%2C%20Americans%20spend%202,on%20their%20phones%20in%202022.
7. Eileen Brown, “Americans Spend Far More Time on Their Smartphones Than They Think,” ZDNet, April 28, 2019, www.zdnet.com/article/americans-spend-far-more-time-on-their-smartphones-than-they-think/.
8. Jill Anderson, “Harvard EdCast: The Benefit of Family Mealtime,” Harvard Graduate School of Education, April 1, 2020, www.gse.harvard.edu/news/20/04/harvard-edcast-benefit-family-mealtime#:~:text=Family%20therapist%20Anne%20Fishel%20says,being%20hugely%20beneficial%20for%20kids.
9. Annabelle Timsit, “Smartphones Are Disrupting the Crucial Connections between Parents and Their Babies,” Quartz, July 31, 2019, https://qz.com/1674835/technology-is-interfering-with-the-parent-child-relationship/.
CHAPTER
• five •
YOU NEED THE HOLY SPIRIT
I grew up in a church where the preaching was fiery and the Holy Ghost was real. My great-grandfather Winans told my father, David, incredible stories from his early ministry in the Church of God in Christ. He spoke about saints seeing prison doors swing open in the manner of the apostle Peter, and he told of people coming back from the dead. Our church, which had been founded by my greatgrandfather, believed in salvation through faith and being filled with the Holy Spirit. The evidence of that filling came through speaking in tongues and prophecy, along with all the spiritual gifts. Growing up in a Pentecostal church, I never doubted the power or necessity of the Holy Spirit in the believer’s life. The Spirit of God wasn’t some impersonal force—He was a Person, a Helper. And we needed Him.
As I was growing up, I observed how my parents depended on the Holy Spirit in their everyday lives. If the work they were doing for the kingdom was an engine, the Holy Spirit was the gasoline. They recognized the need to rely on Him daily for the work God had called them to do, both as parents and as ministers of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Something else I picked up as a child is that the Holy Spirit is exciting! With Him, anything could happen. Prison doors could shake open, the blind could see again, the enslaved person could go free, and the sick could be made well. The best part was, as a believer, I had constant access to the Holy Spirit’s power in my life.
As Jesus was sharing a final meal with His disciples in the upper room, He began telling them about the Helper He would send: “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you” (John 14:16–17). The Greek word translated “advocate” or “helper” in our English translations is parakletos and denotes legal counsel.
I occasionally indulge in watching a crime drama. In those shows, when a suspect receives a hard question, they’ll often exclaim, “I want my lawyer!” The Holy Spirit is that kind of help when we’re in trouble. He knows exactly what’s going on and can give us wise counsel. Right off the bat, Jesus tells His disciples that this Helper will be rejected by the world. Only believers will be aware of His presence because He will be with them and in them.
In the same conversation, Jesus reveals another function of the Spirit: “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14:26, ESV). The Holy Spirit helps us understand Scripture, the gospel message, and Jesus’s teachings. We cannot hope to pass on faith to the next generation without the Holy Spirit’s help.
OH, THE THINGS THE SPIRIT CAN DO
In my experience, many Christians underestimate their need for the Holy Spirit’s guidance and help in their daily lives. I remember a day several years ago when I was praying. All of a sudden I felt an urgency to pray in the Spirit. My heart was heavy, and I didn’t know why. I continued to pray in the Spirit until the heaviness lifted. After I stopped praying, I looked to see what time it was. I later found out that at the exact moment I was praying in the Spirit, my sister Debbie had an accident that could have taken her sight. I realized the Holy Spirit had prompted me to intercede on her behalf. Thank you, Jesus, for the Holy Spirit!
Have you ever watched a marching band moving in perfect unison? Each musician moves in uniform step as the band executes precise movements and formations. It’s amazing to watch. Galatians 5:25 says, “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” When Paul spoke these words to the church in Galatia, this was still a new way of relating to God. Before Jesus came, the Jews had followed the law—the Old Testament commands— so living by the Spirit instead of a list of rules was a novel concept—so much so that the Galatians were struggling with legalism and the temptation to depend on their own obedience to the law rather than Jesus’s transformative work on the cross.
Paul describes “living by the Spirit” as staying in step with the Spirit as we walk out our faith. Like the marching band, the believer is to mimic the Spirit’s movements and follow His promptings. In this way, all believers everywhere can move in unison to carry out God’s plan. Let’s look at just a few ways the Holy Spirit helps us in our mission of passing on faith.
The Holy Spirit empowers believers to share the gospel. In Acts 1:8, Jesus commissioned His disciples with these words: “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” The Holy Spirit provides the power for us to spread the gospel to others. We cannot hope to see transformation in the next generation if we are not relying on the power of God for their salvation and spiritual growth.
Something I learned long ago is that I cannot save anyone; the Holy Spirit must do that work. But I can be a witness. I can tell others about what God has done in my life. As the Holy Spirit empowers me to boldly share the Good News with others, I can trust Him for the result.
The Holy Spirit provides wisdom and knowledge. Scripture tells us that the Spirit bestows special revelation on believers. In Ephesians 1:17–20, the apostle Paul fleshes out this concept:
I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.
