Hollywood Secrets, page 9
“What?”
Kerri’s eyebrows rose. “She didn’t tell you that she’s taking that movie in England? The one with Charlotte Dixon?”
Sydney exhaled. “It didn’t work out with Ada, so no. I didn’t know. She ended things last week.”
“Shit.” Kerri stared at her. “I’m sorry, Syd. She didn’t say anything to me. What happened?”
Sydney shook her head, her fingers picking at the label on the bottle. “I can’t talk about it.” She felt sick anytime she thought about that night. It just didn’t feel real. “And I need to keep myself busy, so I’m ready to go all-in on this next project. Whatever it is. Your movie. Something squeezed in before it. I need something.”
Kerri nodded. “Okay. Well, if you can wait a month or two, I think we’ll be ready to go with mine,” she said, a smile coming to her lips.
“Yes.” Sydney smile turned into a grin. “Fuck yes. Kerri, this is huge. And thank you for offering me a chance to work on your project. I’m sorry, I’ve been so caught up in my own shit. This is a serious achievement, and I think we should celebrate.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. Let’s go out. Tonight. Wherever you want.”
Sydney knew Kerri had been trying to not let herself get too excited about the prospect of seeing her script come to life, knowing that things fall through more often than not in this business, but this was really happening, and she should celebrate it.
27
THREE YEARS LATER
Ada stood alongside Charlotte, posing for photos as they made their way down the red carpet at a snail’s pace, everyone wanting a photo of them and the rest of the cast as they stopped for interviews along the way. When would people ever get tired of movies about the Royal Family? Ada didn’t know, but this role had rejuvenated her career right when she’d been afraid that had started to stall.
“Adelaide! Over here!” Photographers shouted from behind the barrier, and a nervous energy coursed through Ada’s veins. It was good to be back, to be in her element, but she couldn’t shake the anxiety of seeing Sydney in person again for the first time in three years.
Charlotte leaned in so only Ada could hear her. “You okay?”
Ada nodded, smiling as the camera flashes continued. “Yes.”
After so many years of considering Charlotte Dixon a rival, they’d become good friends, both going to London a few weeks earlier than they needed to, and by the time they started filming, they were inseparable.
Charlotte had surprised her on one of their last nights in London before they’d started filming. She’d confessed that she was gay, and she was going to come out in the next few months. Ada couldn’t believe it, and a sinking feeling came over her when she remembered seeing Sydney and Charlotte together on the red carpet. Had they been dating?
Ada had asked, because she couldn’t not know. But Charlotte had said they were never more than friends, that Sydney had been the first person in the business that she’d told. Charlotte admitted being attracted to her, that it would have been easy to start something with her, but she knew she wasn’t in the right place to, not back then.
Ada’s hands had trembled as she told Charlotte her secret once they were back in the safety of the apartment Ada was renting, both of them curled up on a sofa in the living room. And she’d even told Charlotte about Sydney.
Charlotte had been so good to her that night when Ada couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, and having someone like Charlotte to talk to over the next few months had been exactly what Ada had needed. Her time in England had flown by. It was easily the most fun she’d had on set in a very long time.
So, Charlotte knew how nervous Ada would be about seeing Sydney again.
“Just so you know,” Charlotte said now as they took a few more steps to the next interviewer, “She’s here. But she’s with that country singer.”
Ada forced a smile. She’d done her best to avoid thinking about Sydney in the last three years, because she didn’t want to walk around in a constant state of regret, but sometimes it was unavoidable, a headline or news clip catching Ada’s eye, and it always seemed to be about Sydney and her potential relationship with country music legend, Jamie Howes. The media was so divided on the rumors about them, some dismissing them right away because there was no way that the great Jamie Howes was gay. But Sydney’s fans loved it.
And Ada was so afraid that those rumors were true.
She kept moving down the red carpet, doing her best to enjoy this moment, to savor it, because the buzz around this movie was electric, and most people had Ada tipped to win the best actress award tonight.
Ada was thrilled to be nominated again, but she was so happy for Kerri, and the success her movie had at the box office. The critical acclaim was there too. Sydney, Jaqueline Steele, and Charlotte were all up for best actress, so it was a strange evening, one where Ada would be happy for any of them to win.
28
Sydney took her seat, adjusting her black dress and sitting up straight, knowing the cameras would be on her more than ever tonight.
“You nervous?” Jamie asked, sweeping her dark hair over one shoulder as she sat down beside her.
Sydney was honestly okay when it came to being up for another major award. It was still more exciting than nerve-racking, but obviously she wasn’t hiding the nervousness she felt about the prospect of seeing Ada again.
“A little,” she said with a half-smile.
She never saw Ada on the red carpet, but she had to be here. She was up for the same award as Sydney. Best actress. And what a category it was this year. Jacquline Steele. Charlotte Dixon. The gays were representing, that was for sure.
Sydney knew she should be focused on herself and Kerri’s movie, but all she could think about was seeing Ada again. Three years. At times it felt like just the other day, and at others, it felt like a lifetime ago.
A lot of people thought she’d been dating Jamie for the last year, but they were just friends. Yes, Jamie was exactly her type. Late forties. Beautiful singer. She was fun to be around, and Sydney even went on tour with her for a few shows last year, but there was nothing real there. Jamie knew that. She was bi, but for the moment anyway, her reputation in the country music industry held more importance to her than officially coming out. Jamie denied any rumors that they were dating, and a friendship was all Sydney had been looking for anyway.
She had no idea how long it would take for her to get over Ada. Three years had gone by and very little had changed. She’d gone on dates, but it never amounted to anything more than a nice night out at a gig or a basketball game. She’d been honest with all those women, that she really wasn’t in a place to date anyone seriously.
Kerri had encouraged her. Once they’d filmed the movie, that nearly seemed like her main priority when it came to Sydney. She was always suggesting available women, and Sydney only ever committed to going on one date with them, nothing more.
Sydney refused to ask Kerri about Ada. She’d had zero contact from Ada in the last three years, and Sydney wasn’t going to be the one to cave, as much as she missed her.
Now, she took a steadying breath, the host of tonight’s ceremony coming on stage in a slick looking tux. At the very least, she’d see Ada when it came time to announce the nominees for best actress, and Sydney’s heart beat a little faster at the thought of seeing her again.
29
Ada shared a knowing smile with Charlotte as Finn Burke of all people announced the nominees for best actress.
She grounded herself by holding onto the clutch in her lap, focusing all of her energy on keeping her face neutral, allowing herself a nervous smile when the camera panned to Charlotte and then her.
Her heart skipped a beat as Sydney appeared on the screen, an easy smile on those gorgeous lips. Her blond hair was down in waves, a little longer now.
God, she was stunning.
Sydney would be thirty-three now, and judging by the smile she shared with Jamie Howes, she might even be happy.
Ada didn’t have much time to dwell on that thought, because the envelope was being opened, and a smile came to his lips as he leaned closer to the microphone. “And the winner is… Adelaide Atwood!”
A thunderous applause drowned out the thumping of her heart. Charlotte was wrapping her arms around her as they both stood, and Ada reached behind her to grab Kerri’s hand, giving it a squeeze on her way to the aisle.
She made her way to the stage in a daze, and when she stood there, her eyes scanning the packed theater, everyone on their feet, an overwhelming sense of gratitude came over her as she gripped the statue in her hands.
30
Sydney stood along with the rest of the audience as Ada thanked the cast and everyone involved. To Sydney, she would always be the most beautiful woman in the room, but tonight, in that red dress, her hair cascading over her shoulders in loose waves, copper highlights catching in the lights, she took Sydney’s breath away.
Sydney swallowed down a sudden surge in emotions, some mix of pride and love, so happy that this gorgeous, talented woman was still thriving in this business.
Because if she wasn’t, then the last three years would have been for nothing.
They weren’t together, because Ada valued her reputation and her career more than her personal life.
Sydney still felt a hint of regret, of pain, maybe even a little bit of jealousy that Ada had chosen her career over her. But it was working out for Ada, and Sydney had to respect that decision.
Ada clutched the award as she spoke. “Thank you to my agent and best friend, Kerri Talbert. You’ve been with me from the start, and I owe so much of my career to you. Thank you for sticking with me.”
Sydney listened to Ada take a moment to acknowledge Charlotte and their friendship. Sydney quirked an eyebrow, hoping that the cameras hadn’t caught it, but that was news to her. Then again, they did spend several months together on set in England.
The music started playing as Ada’s speech came to an end, but she still stood in front of the microphone.
31
Ada’s knuckles must have been white with the grip she had on her award, but as she wrapped up her speech, her pulse roared in her ears, because she knew she’d made a promise to herself that if she’d won tonight, she would make good use of her speech.
And that time had to be now.
The music had already started, but she couldn’t leave the stage.
“Hold on.” Ada took a deep breath, lifting a hand as she spoke. “Hold on. Just wait.” The music faded out and all eyes were on her, just about everyone still standing, a hush coming over the theater.
Ada’s stomach churned, and she prayed that she didn’t faint as she leaned towards to the microphone again.
“I um… I’ve had the privilege of having the most wonderful career, working with some amazing women over the years, but I just want to take a moment to thank the actresses that have paved the way for me and what I’m about to say.”
Ada bit the inside of her cheek, tears coming to her eyes. No one knew what she was about to do.
Not Kerri. Not Charlotte.
And definitely not Sydney.
32
The rest of the theater faded away as Sydney’s gaze locked onto Ada’s, her heart racing as she waited for Ada to keep going.
The audience was so silent, the anticipation palpable.
“For so many reasons,” Ada said, her voice steady and controlled, “I wish I’d had the courage to say this sooner, but I’m starting to see that there is something in that saying, better late than never. I’ve let this secret take over too much of my life already, but that ends tonight.”
Sydney forgot to breathe as she waited for Ada to say it.
“I’m gay. And only lately can I even think about saying that I’m proud to be, but at this point in my life, I truly am.” Ada visibly swallowed, lifting her award. “Thank you.” And she strode off the stage without looking back, the theater, full of her friends and colleagues, erupted into cheers and whistles.
Sydney didn’t even realize a tear had streaked down her cheek until it hit her lip, the taste of salt on her tongue, and she wiped it away, already out of her seat and heading backstage.
Sydney spotted Ada straight away, handing her award off to a member of the crew.
“Ada!” Sydney called before she turned away.
When Ada’s eyes met hers, Sydney had to hope that there was a reason she was doing this tonight, that she might be ready to finally commit to her.
They met halfway, no one paying them any attention, the announcement for the next award underway, and Sydney wrapped her arms around her, hugging her, Ada’s cheek hot against her own.
“You did it,” Sydney whispered, unable to keep the emotion out of her voice. “I’m so proud of you,” she said as she pulled away, Ada’s eyes glistening with tears as she stared back at her.
“A little too late, but…” Ada sighed. “I had to do some soul searching these last few years. And I finally felt like I could do it.”
“What do you mean too late?” Sydney arched an eyebrow. “It’s never too late.”
Ada tilted her head, a sad smile on her lips. “I missed my chance with you.”
Sydney blinked, trying to figure out what Ada was talking about.
“You’re with Jamie now, right?”
Sydney slowly shook her head. “No. It’s all rumors.”
Ada’s stared at her, and neither of them said anything for a moment.
In the distance, the audience broke out in applause, but Sydney could barely hear it over the thudding of her heart. “Jamie’s a good friend. Nothing more.”
“Do you remember what you said to me the last time I saw you?” Ada asked. “You said that you hoped that someday, when I came out, I’d still want you as much as you want me.”
Sydney searched Ada’s eyes. “And do you?”
“So much,” Ada said, her voice breaking. “You have no idea how hard that night was for me. It was the last thing I wanted to do, to end things, but I was no where near where I am today. I just wasn’t ready. And then I kept seeing you photographed with other women, and it just… I knew that I had to get to a place where I was doing it for me and not someone else.”
Sydney lifted her hand to Ada’s cheek, her thumb stroking over the soft skin along her jawline. “I haven’t been with anyone, Ada.”
“It’d be okay if you were, Sydney. It’s been three years.”
“I haven’t.” She sighed. “Kerri’s been on a mission trying to get me back out there and dating again, but it’s only ever been one date to keep her happy. Nothing’s ever happened.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” Sydney glanced down at Ada’s lips. “I don’t think I’d ever have gotten over you. Not if we were standing here ten years from now.”
“Fuck, Sydney, this is insane,” Ada murmured, her hand cupping Sydney’s cheek as she leaned in. “I’ve never been like this before.”
“Like what?” Sydney whispered, their lips so close.
“This in love.”
Sydney’s world stopped, and she captured Ada’s lips in a kiss that left every inch of her body tingling, Ada’s lips so soft, just like she remembered them.
A breathy gasp left Ada’s lips as she kissed Sydney back, the familiar sweet scent of Ada’s perfume invading her senses.
Sydney lost herself in the kiss. She hated to admit it, but she’d been so afraid that this moment would never happen, that they might not even speak again, never mind this.
Sydney rested her forehead against Ada’s before she pulled away completely, her throat tight, her pulse jumping. “I don’t know when it happened, but I’m so in love with you Ada.”
“You have no reason to trust me after everything I put you through,” Ada said softly. “But I never had any doubts about us. It was always me and my secret.”
“I know. I can’t believe you just did that,” Sydney said, a smile coming to her lips. “On stage like that. You were mesmerizing. And I’m so proud of you.”
Sydney found her lips again, Ada’s hand on her neck now, sliding underneath her hair.
“Ask me again.” Ada’s voice was thick with emotion as she pulled away.
Sydney was about to ask her what she was talking about when it hit her. She blinked back her tears, that night still so fresh in her mind.
Sydney swallowed, her voice wavering even though she knew what the answer would be. “Can you be with me?”
Ada’s gaze never left hers. “Yes.”
Sydney smiled into the kiss, parting her lips against Ada’s, relief washing over her as she finally allowed herself to dream about what a future with Ada might look like.
THANK YOU
Thanks for reading Hollywood Secrets!
Look out for the next book in this series, Dreaming of Home, to follow Kerri’s story.
I’d love it if you could take a minute to leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads and let me know what you thought.
Visit TheLesbianSalute.com if you want to stay up to date with my future books or you can find me on Twitter @CarolWyattBooks
Thanks,
Carol Wyatt
ALSO BY CAROL WYATT
Wildest Dreams
Wanderlust
Starting Over
Winter Magic
Serendipity
Daring To Dream
