“Because…”

  “Because you’re young, and she’s nearly fifty.”

  Sydney’s fingers slid along the stem of the wine glass, and the waiter returned to tell them about the specials. They ordered, and Sydney bit her lip as she tried to figure out what Ada was doing.

  Was that what tonight was about? Had she asked Sydney to meet her for dinner, so she could warn her off dating Kerri?

  Sydney took another sip of wine. “If Kerri told you not to believe the rumors, then why are you asking me about them?”

  Ada hid her smile behind her wine glass. “I’m just trying to get an idea of who are you. In the space of two weeks, I’ve seen the internet have a meltdown about you and Kerri, and just a few days later, the rumors start about you and Charlotte Dixon.”

  “Yet here we are,” Sydney said with a smirk. “If anyone sees us leaving together, you know you’ll join that list.”

  “Do you really date women twice your age?”

  Sydney chuckled. “Well, none of you are twice my age. So, no. I’m not in my early twenties. I’m thirty. But yes, I do tend to be drawn to women a few years older than me.”

  Sydney took a drink, her eyes on Ada, wondering if she could really be blushing, but in the fading light, it was impossible to tell if she was just imagining it. “What about you? I never hear any rumors about who you’re dating.”

  “That’s the idea,” Ada said simply before bringing her glass to her lips, effectively ending that topic of conversation. “So, tell me about what you’re working on.”

  Sydney was glad to see their food arriving, but she couldn’t help but be a little disappointed that she still didn’t know much about Ada. As the evening went on, every attempt to find out more about her was deflected by Ada.

  At least this was the start of something. What, Sydney wasn’t sure. Friendship? A future project together? Or Ada wasn’t interested in any of that, and she was just looking out for Kerri.

  Either way, Sydney knew this wouldn’t be the last time they’d see each other.

  7

  Ada finished her wine and covered the bill, glancing at her watch as she did, making sure that they weren’t too early, but they were right on time.

  More than once this evening, Ada had let herself daydream, imagining that she was on a date with Sydney Lockett. She’d teased Sydney about dating older women, and she didn’t blink. Apparently, that was her type.

  When Ada had planned tonight, the only objective had been to get photographed leaving together. Not only would it keep her relevant, but it was a safe way to test the waters. To see how she’d feel about seeing rumors about her sexuality take over the tabloids.

  But by the end of the night, Ada had almost wished she hadn’t tipped off the paparazzi. She’d actually enjoyed herself, and as they left the balcony and headed downstairs, Ada felt a little guilty about the onslaught of camera flashes about to greet them.

  “Shit,” Sydney muttered as soon as they stepped outside, photographers shouting their names, the flashes bright against the night sky. “My driver’s ten minutes out.”

  “Get in with me.” Ada knew she’d been entirely selfish tonight, but she had no intention of putting Sydney in any danger. She kept her head down as they descended the stone steps, blinded by the flashes as her bodyguard pulled open the backseat door for them.

  Ada grabbed Sydney’s hand, tugging her inside, and the door slammed shut behind them. Her bodyguard got in the front before her driver sped off, knowing to lose anyone following them before even thinking about bringing her home.

  Sydney threw a glance over her shoulder, and Ada didn’t have to look to know that there were at least two cars following them.

  “I’m just going to text my driver,” Sydney said, her eyes on her phone, her hands a little shaky. “Let him know I’m not at the restaurant.”

  “Give him the night off. Come back to mine for a drink, and I’ll make sure you get home when it’s safe.”

  Sydney looked up, a hint of a smile on her lips. “Sorry. You think I’d be used to it by now, but I normally avoid this kind of thing. I’m either dressed so casually, you know, with a baseball cap or something, or if I’m out with someone, my driver’s always right there. He got hung up in traffic tonight otherwise he would have been there.”

  Another pang of guilt struck Ada. She nodded. “You always need a back up plan. And in the case of paparazzi, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.”

  “Hm.” Sydney turned to look behind her again. “I’m starting to see that.”

  “You’re okay to come back to my place for a while? We can open a bottle of wine, and I’ll stop avoiding your questions.”

  Sydney’s cheeks darkened, but her lips curved into a smile. “Well, that’s something I can’t say no to.”

  Ada brought two glasses of wine into the living room where she found Sydney studying her bookcases. Ada wasn’t sure if Sydney was more interested in the books or the framed photos that sat on a few of the shelves.

  “Thanks,” Sydney said as Ada handed her a glass. “I just want to apologize for earlier. When I said that I hadn’t heard any rumors about who you were dating.” She glanced at the photo beside her. “I forgot that you were married. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sure these last few years have been tough.”

  Ada didn’t have to conjure up the tears that came to her eyes when she looked at Brandon’s smiling face, but Sydney had no idea that it was only ever for show, to hide the fact that they were both gay.

  Ada blinked back those tears. Kerri knew better than to bring up Brandon. Even though they’d all been friends for years. Even though Kerri was the only person who knew their secret.

  Kerri had grieved openly, right from the night everything changed, when Ada and Kerri had stayed at the after party and Brandon had decided to drive home with his boyfriend, even though he’d been drinking.

  But Ada had always shoved those emotions down. They might not have married for love, but Ada knew she’d never meet anyone like Brandon again. He lit up any room he walked into, and he had an old Hollywood charm about him.

  Ada sipped her wine as they stood beside the bookshelves. “I don’t know what it is about Hollywood and tragedies. Maybe celebrities don’t die young any more often than anyone else, but it just seems like they do, and yet no one thinks it’s going to happen to their friends or their family.”

  “It was a car accident, wasn’t it?”

  Ada nodded. “I don’t know what he was thinking. I suppose he thought he wasn’t too drunk to drive. He always hated the idea of having staff or hiring security and drivers. He drove his own car whenever he could get away with it, and unfortunately, that night, he drove. His best friend died too. Brandon was thirty-five. His friend, twenty-nine.”

  “I’m sorry,” Sydney murmured.

  “Next week will be the ten year anniversary since they died.” Ada took a drink. She had no idea where those years went. She just kept working, staying busy. She moved out of the house they’d shared and started over, buying this house and doing far more work than was required, anything to occupy her mind. That was probably right around the time when she’d started drinking more too.

  Sydney pursed her lips. “I shouldn’t have come over here, but uh…” She smiled shyly. “Bookcases… I’m like a moth to a flame. I can’t help myself.”

  Ada smiled. “And that’s the completely unfiltered version. I don’t normally have anyone here. Besides Kerri. Anything surprise you?”

  “All the biographies.”

  “The ones of my peers you mean?” Ada asked as she led them over to the couch.

  “Hm.” Sydney sat down beside her. “Making sure no one’s talking shit about you?”

  Ada laughed. “No. Not exactly. I started reading them when I was a kid. I read everything I could find about acting, about the business. Once I knew that was what I wanted to do, I was obsessed. And one actor’s biography led me to another, and it was something I just kept up with even though a lot of them were people that I would eventually know.”

  “No biography on you though,” Sydney observed. “Or is it in the works?”

  Ada took a deep breath as she looked away. It’s funny because, if she’d been honest with herself and the world, she’d love to have a biography of herself out there. She just couldn’t though. Not when she’d hid so much about herself. “No. Nothing in the works,” she said as she took another sip of wine.

  Ada’s phone vibrated against her thigh, and she slid it out to see Kerri calling her again. She silenced it and shoved it back in her pocket.

  “Well, if it ever happens, I’d love to read it,” Sydney said. “For someone who really influenced me, I have to say that I don’t know much beyond the basics. There’s not much out there.”

  Ada ran a hand through her hair as she angled her body towards Sydney. “There’s not much to tell.” She draped her arm over the back of the couch as she got comfortable.

  “I don’t believe that for a second.”

  Ada held Sydney’s gaze, forcing herself not to let herself steal a glance at her lips, not to follow the dip of her white blouse.

  Whatever thoughts had been in Ada’s head, whatever she’d been about to say, it was gone, replaced by the swishing of her pulse in her ears.

  8

  Sydney searched Ada’s eyes, a tingling sensation breaking out across her skin when she thought she’d caught Ada glancing down at her lips.

  But that couldn’t have just happened.

  Ada Atwood was straight.

  She’d been married.

  Sydney had just seen a photo of the two of them, looking every bit in love.

  But that didn’t explain what was happening right now. What Sydney had thought could be happening at the restaurant. What she’d been feeling all night long.

  This indescribable magnetism.

  At first, Sydney thought it was just being around Ada for the first time. That it was natural to feel so drawn to someone that famous, almost enamored by her presence.

  But it was more than that.

  Sydney was certain of it now.

  They were both a little tipsy, sharing a bottle of wine at the restaurant and working their way through another now, but if there was one thing that Sydney trusted, it was her gaydar, and right now it was going off like a car alarm in her head. Loud, high-pitched, and impossible to ignore.

  Sydney swallowed, unable to even remember what they’d been talking about, and a shiver ran up her spine when Ada’s eyes definitely flickered down to her lips.

  Ada lifted her hand, her fingertips delicately brushing a lock of hair away from Sydney’s eyes, and she could feel that faint touch all the way down to her toes, every nerve firing, her heart thumping in her chest.

  Ada’s lips parted, her voice thick with emotion. “How do you do it?”

  It took Sydney a second to process Ada’s words, and she still couldn’t understand them. “What do you mean?”

  “How do you not care what anyone thinks of you? How do you take that risk with your career?”

  Sydney’s heart skipped a beat. This was real. This conversation was actually happening, and Ada Atwood was gay.

  It was obvious to Sydney now.

  The looks.

  The emotion in Ada’s voice right now.

  But Sydney had no idea how to handle this situation, this delicate balance of wanting Ada, of forgetting all about this conversation and just leaning in, brushing her lips over Ada’s, and doing the right thing, of giving Ada a chance to talk about something that maybe she’d never talked to anyone else about before.

  Sydney held Ada’s eye contact. “It was the only thing I could do. I don’t know any other way to live.” Sydney could barely hear her own voice over the pounding of her heart. “Do you wish you did things differently?”

  Ada’s voice broke. “Every day.”

  Sydney nodded slowly, so many questions swirling around in her head. “And Brandon?”

  Ada visibly swallowed. “My best friend. But also someone who desperately wanted the media to stop asking questions about who he was or wasn’t dating.” She brought her glass to her lips, tilting her head back as she knocked back the rest of the wine. “It was all for show.”

  Sydney watched Ada lean forward to place her empty glass on the coffee table before getting comfortable again, slightly closer to Sydney than she had been a few seconds ago. “Who else knows?”

  “Kerri.”

  Sydney sipped her wine. The heaviness of the conversation had her on edge, not wanting to say the wrong thing or ruin this moment, to scare Ada away by asking too many questions. “Thank you,” she said after she left her glass beside Ada’s. “For telling me.” She took a deep breath. “Whatever you want to say won’t leave this room. I promise you that.”

  Ada covered Sydney’s hand with her own, giving it a squeeze. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  The air was charged, and Sydney had to use every bit of willpower she had to resist leaning in and kissing Ada. She was determined to let Ada decide where tonight was going. If she wanted to talk. If she was done talking.

  And the thought of Ada leading them to her bedroom, sent a jolt of electricity right to Sydney’s center.

  That really could happen tonight.

  Sydney’s eyes fluttered shut when she felt the warmth of Ada’s hand on her cheek, the pad of her thumb gently swiping over her bottom lip.

  A soft moan escaped Sydney’s lips as Ada’s fingers brushed over her jawline on their way into her hair, pulling her into a kiss that Sydney wouldn’t forget for the rest of her life.

  Her breath left her lungs as Ada’s lips parted against her own, and Sydney willingly opened up to her, the delicate sweep up Ada’s tongue skimming across her own dizzying.

  If Sydney had ever allowed herself to daydream about this, the kiss would have been slow, and cautious, but this was nothing like that.

  Ada kissed her with a confidence and a possessiveness that floored Sydney, her lips hot, hungry, her fingers gripping Sydney’s hair as they deepened the kiss.

  Sydney’s lips parted, kissing her back with everything she had, matching the veracity of Ada’s kiss, tasting the wine on those gorgeous lips.

  A warmth swept over Sydney, her body on fire, her hand on Ada’s neck, her thumb running over Ada’s jaw, and time slowed as she did everything she could to memorize every single detail.

  Sydney pushed herself up, her legs tangled beneath her, but she didn’t care, dipping her head to capture Ada’s lips again, taking back some control, her fingers sliding through Ada’s silky hair, their tongues dueling.

  Sydney bit back a disappointed moan when Ada’s hands landed on her shoulders, pushing her back against the cushions, and Sydney should have known that this was too good to be true, that they’d have to talk.

  That Ada would tell her that she’d just gotten carried away.

  That it shouldn’t have happened at all.

  But Ada swung a leg over Sydney’s waist instead, her hand in Sydney’s hair again, tilting her head back as Ada lowered her lips to Sydney’s collarbone, kissing a hot path up Sydney’s neck.

  A ragged moan left Sydney’s lips, both from shock and sheer pleasure, her hands sliding up Ada’s back, over the navy fabric soft beneath her fingertips, before their lips met again, and Sydney lost herself in the passion of Ada’s kiss.

  9

  Ada sighed into the kiss, the feeling of Sydney’s hands running over her back, up her neck, into her hair, hypnotizing her, making her forget about all of the reasons that this shouldn’t be happening.

  She’d lost track of the times that voice at the back of her had told her to stop. It had started at the restaurant, when she’d had to stop herself from flirting, and that voice was back again when she’d found Sydney standing in front of her bookcase, when she’d thought about telling her everything even though Kerri was the only person in the world that knew.

  And now, as what Ada had thought would be an innocent kiss started to approach the point of no return, Ada blatantly ignored it.

  She’d just wanted a reminder of what it felt like to kiss another woman. The softness. The intimacy.

  But the intensity, the desire she’d felt as soon as her lips met Sydney’s, it was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. She’d pushed Sydney back against the couch, straddling her, without even realizing what she was doing.

  And Ada wasn’t about to stop now.

  Sydney’s fingers moved to the buttons of Ada’s shirt as they continued to kiss, and Ada’s hips rocked forward as Sydney lowered her head to trail kisses along her collarbone and down her chest, chasing her fingers, until she was kissing the curve of Ada’s breast.

  Ada moaned, her hand lost in Sydney’s hair, her body pulsing with desire.

  A thunderous knock echoed down the hall and into the living room, and Sydney’s lips stopped what they were doing, lingering against her skin as Ada froze along with her.

  Ada’s heart raced until she realized that Kerri had developed a habit of using her code to get beyond the gate at the foot of her driveway. She was the only one who knew it.

  Sydney’s eyes were wide as she looked up at Ada, another series of thumps cut through the silence, both of them breathless.

  “It’s just Kerri,” Ada said with a frustrated sigh, her mind already thinking of ways to get rid of her as fast as possible.

  “What??” Sydney’s eyes darted from Ada to the doorway, as if Kerri might appear any second.

  Ada pushed herself off Sydney with an exasperated sigh, her fingers closing the buttons of her blouse with shaky hands.

  She should have just answered Kerri’s calls or at least texted her to let her know she was okay. She’d no doubt seen the photos from earlier and was just checking that she was okay. Kerri knew how crazy the paparazzi could be with her, and it was because Ada normally went to such great lengths to avoid them.

  “I’ll be right back,” Ada said, her eyes lingering on Sydney, her hair slightly disheveled, her cheeks flushed, and Ada hoped she could keep Kerri in the foyer, because otherwise, she could very well put two and two together.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10