The Gift, page 28
“Think we’ll go viral?” David crosses his fingers in jest.
Flora looks into the sky. “I see a split screen of you two and Lucy and the Italian lady from that I Love Lucy episode.”
I love how we have the same references.
“Or maybe we need to make it go viral,” David adds, pulsating his index finger on his chin.
“How about we get that tour of the winery now instead? Hint, hint.” I stare at Gio and smile.
“Yeah, sure. Follow me.”
He brings us into the large room full of fermentation tanks. “Usually, we don’t subject people to doing our crushing work before the grapes end up here to sit. But sometimes, we like to send customers home with matching clothes and skin. That’s how we do it in Temecula Valley.”
“I’ll be here every day to stomp grapes for you. Being in the open air, the sunlight streaming in…ahh.” So unbelievably different than being trapped in a classroom, the car, and my apartment, this fermentation room would be bliss. The huge garage doors could remain open and feed my sanity with every hour of freedom that passes.
A quick walk through the barrel room and climate-controlled storage room adds to my exhilaration. The cold temperature makes me wish I had a hoodie, but I still eat up being here. “Gio, the sweet smell mixed with the oak of the barrels is the best scent in the world. I just decided.”
“You should really try to be happier today, Toni.” Flora tilts and shakes her head to add to her sarcasm.
David looks at Flora. “Yeah, I’d like to see a smile once in a while.”
“You three are funny.” Gio continues, “You know, my great-great-great grandpa was a cooper and the one who started the business here in California. I didn’t know him, of course, but I’m sure he’d be honored you approve that we still use his barrels for special vintages.”
“What’s a cooper exactly?” David asks.
“A person who makes barrels. My three-times-great-grandfather was a master from Italy, so when he got the chance to come to America and earn more money, he was on the next boat, as the story goes.” Gio walks to the corner of the dimly lit room and adjusts a few bottles on the shelf. “The type of oak used makes all the difference in the way the wine tastes.”
“I’m a history teacher, but I don’t know that much about wine, so this is right up my alley. Thanks, man.”
“Ask anything. I love talking about wine!” Gio returns to our group.
“I wish we could stay here all day, but I don’t want to keep you. It’s a busy one out there.” I hate to acknowledge it, but can’t be selfish with Gio’s time.
“You’re welcome to linger back here if you want. I trust you,” Gio says.
“I don’t know about this one.” David directs his thumb toward me.
Gio smiles. “I have a feeling she’s one of the good ones.”
“Yeah, what the heck?” I pretend to be angry and swipe David’s shoulder.
He places his hand on the spot where mine just left.
Flora sends me a glance that my sister intuition tells me means, Hey, have you talked to him about the suspicion yet?
My widened eyes in return tell her, No. But maybe it’s time. Today. The wine will give me the power I need to talk to my friend. Yeah, it’s just talking to my friend. No biggie here. It’s all fine.
Meanwhile, we follow Gio back to the tasting room. It’s still bursting with wine lovers. Is there any better environment than peaceful chit-chat, cheerful people, and soft music playing in the background?
Gio turns to us. “Let me introduce you to some other winery owners. This is Barb, Kent, and Tess. They each run the properties you see closest to here. And this is Toni, David, and Flora.” He bends toward Flora. “I got that right? I’ve learned a lot of names today.”
“Yes, you did. No worries. Hi, everyone,” she says.
After all return greetings, I include, “I admire you. To live here and do what you love is incredible.”
“You said you plan to do the same, so when it’s time, we’re ready to help.” Gio’s eyes meet the new group as if in confirmation.
“How exciting, Toni. Yes, we’ll be around.” Barb’s small, deep-set brown eyes and white-blonde shoulder-length hair draw me in, and I believe her kind invitation without a doubt.
“Of course. We’ll help you in any way possible,” Tess says, her long, straight, champagne-blonde hair glows in the complementary light. “That’s what we do here.”
“What they said.” Kent chuckles. “No, really, we mean it.” His blond curls match the color of Tess’s.
This blond trio, plus Gio, already feels like family. “It’s really something down here.” My eyes dart to the side. “Not like LA at all.”
“Oh.” Gio looks at his phone. “I have to go handle something, but you keep talking.” He slips away.
“You’re from LA?” Barb is first to speak again. “I lived there for a few years, and yes, you’re right.”
“Yeah. Nothing against it, though. I love my city, but it lacks the quality of life you have here.” I bite my inner lip.
“That’s because we have fresh air and ninety-nine percent less cars.” Kent holds up his wine glass, and Tess reciprocates, putting a period on his statement by clinking.
“Don’t get me started on the traffic,” I add.
“Yes, please. For all of our sakes,” David jokes.
Flora nods. “Try living at the beach. But hey, that’s where the ocean is, so I kind of need to be there.” She pauses. “I own a surf shop.”
“Oh, how lovely. The beach is the one thing we’re missing here. But we have this.” Barb sips her white wine, gripping the glass with her maroon nails in view that match her blouse.
“Well, if you do make a move here, don’t hesitate to reach out to any of us.” Tess angles toward me, and I feel her warmth.
Kent clears his throat. “We’ve found that starting out asking for help from each other is the key to success. There are suppliers for hardware and nurseries we can share with you right away if you want. We exchange services all the time too, like helping each other with labor to get the harvesting done.”
“We’ve made plenty of mistakes and don’t want the next friend to do the same.” Tess raises her glass then takes a taste.
“Right, like not knowing to plant rose bushes at the ends of the vine rows. I learned my lesson the hard way with that one.” Barb’s tiny eyes jolt broad.
“I read about that trick. The bushes are prone to the same diseases from pests as the vines and show signs first so we can be warned, right?” I stand a little taller, knowing I could have ended my sentence as a statement, not a question.
“You already know a crucial point of owning a vineyard,” Barb says.
“I won’t let history repeat itself. A bug wiped out my family’s vineyard in Italy many years ago. Not on my watch.” I glance at David and Flora.
“We won’t let that happen to our new friend.” Tess exchanges a glance with her own squad.
“I appreciate that a lot. You all are way too nice to newbie me.” I chuckle. “Thank you so much.”
“We wouldn’t have it any other way,” Barb adds.
“Well, we’ll see you around soon.” I look at my crew to silently approve departure. My stomach wants another street taco.
“Sooner than later, I hope.” Barb smiles.
“Yes.” I promise both myself and them silently.
Walking outside, I can’t help but release the thoughts building over the last half hour. “Can you believe how nice people are here? They really want to know you and help you. How wild is that? I mean, I’ve never met such sweet people in my life. The camaraderie—”
“Excuse me.” David puts his hands on his hips.
“You know what I mean.”
“And you were born into knowing this sweetie.” Flora stands straighter.
“Yes, yes, you two are the best, and blah, blah, blah.” I laugh. “But you know what I mean. There’s definitely something different here. Something special.”
“You say that every time you come. And I feel it too.” David takes a beat. “So…what do you plan to do, then?”
This time, the question that has stumped me for what seems like forever grows a notch clearer. “I need to do what feels good. And I feel good when I’m down here.” Looking at my dyed hands persuades me. “I’m going to try for a loan again and see what happens. I’m also going to update Lesley and hope the property I love is still for sale. Yup.” The answer flows out like our stomped grape juice into the jug.
“Does this mean you’re rejecting the LA Phil offer?” David squints.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud”—which makes it truth—“but I don’t think so.”
“Huh? Fill a girl in.” Flora also scrunches her eyes.
“Maybe I can get the loan approval before I need to give an answer to LA Phil. Then, I can make my final choice. I still have a few weeks. Two, to be exact.” My heart races for my time crunch.
“Don’t loans take longer than that to go through?” David looks at Flora for an answer.
“It all depends. Mine did, but your loan is agricultural, so not at all what I have. You may as well try.” Flora throws up her hands.
“Yes. I may as well.”
“Thank God for Uncle Roberto agreeing to co-sign. I hope this time it works in your favor, sis.”
“Thanks. Me too.”
I know in my heart that playing for LA Phil and owning a vineyard are both great options, but one must win…and being here leads me to one desire. This high of a day where I’m filled with assurance for making some sort of decision, on my own and without Christian trying to feed me his agenda, can feed me more than any favorite food. I think I love making choices on my own.
I inhale the largest, lightest, most fulfilling breath of air I’ve had in the longest time, reviving me from a numbness I’ve been trying to ignore for years.
It’s simple in this moment. I’m with my sister and friend at a place I love, so I’m going to eat a taco, drink more wine, and enjoy the messiness of my look and my life. The wind is taking me, and I can’t fight the wind. Today, I lean toward what will free me most, and that isn’t always what’s expected.
Chapter
Fifty-Five
Still in an indestructible mood, it’s time to bring up the avoided topic with David after Flora leaves his house. “I have to ask you something strange.” I shift sideways in my chair at his Mexican-tiled table to view him in the kitchen.
David turns toward me and walks over. “What’s up?” He pulls out a chair and sits down.
“I need to get something out, since it’s a new year and all.”
“Loving it so far.” He repeatedly moves his head up and down.
“Well, I don’t think you’ll continue to love it.” I look down. “Christian thinks you like me. Romantically. He even forbade me to see you in the past, which I would not abide by. I told him that’s all ridiculous, but you know him, Mr. Has to be Right All the Time.” The words release like pulling off a Band-aid. I throw in a pfh in hope of the answer I want to hear.
But there’s silence.
I stare at my red ankles that almost match my red sneakers.
Anytime now, David.
Um.
“He’s not wrong.”
I lift my eyes but not my head. “Stop kidding around.” I know he’s not, though.
“Toni, I’m well aware that you’re a married woman, and I’d never do anything to put you in a bad position, but I won’t lie to you. Yeah, I do wish you were single.”
My vision blurs as I sit frozen in breath. “I, I don’t know what to say.”
“This doesn’t have to change anything. It better not. I have so much fun when I’m with you and can’t imagine not spending time together outside of work.” He exhales with force, sending his lips flapping.
“David, I love our time together too, but I can’t believe you’ve been feeling this way about me—and that Christian was actually right.” I shouldn’t have ignored my intuition all the times I thought Christian may be right, just so he’d be mistaken.
“This isn’t the best timing for Christian to be right about something.” He laughs, breaking the tension.
“Yeah,” I reciprocate. David always has a way of softening the mood. I can depend on it.
But this can’t possibly not change things. How am I supposed to act around him now? How am I supposed to pretend he isn’t thinking whatever type of thoughts about me when I never have, never can, and never will think them about him? Can I run out of here and never talk about this with him again?
No.
No.
No.
A wave of courage washes over me. “David, we have to make sure our friendship continues. I can’t lose you now. Or ever. Okay?” My voice is firm, ironically opposite of the tingling flow overtaking my limbs.
“Yes,” he’s quick to say. “I don’t plan to go anywhere. And listen… I know you and Christian have your concerns, but I’m not trying to break you up. I want to make that clear.”
“I wouldn’t think that of you. You’re not that type of person.” I furrow my brow.
“My mom would be ashamed if I were.”
“We can’t have Mrs. Miura upset with you! And I want to keep telling you about everything in my life. No restrictions. Same as always.”
“Yes, of course.” Again, he doesn’t waste a second to respond. “I’m here to listen, including about your marriage.”
“David, to be honest, I have no idea what’s happening, but you and I both know we aren’t the shining example of marital paradise. I may need you now more than ever. But that’s all I want.”
“I can’t help being taken by you, Toni. Don’t blame a man for that.”
Stop! We were headed in the right direction. Oh God.
“But,” he continues, “now that you know my secret, I’ll be more active about moving beyond the feelings.” He exaggerates a sigh. “I’ll get over you eventually.”
I smile, reassured our friendship is greater than this bump. “I am a catch.” Needing us to be normal again, I gather my breath and continue, “Alright, I have to go home and take a shower.”
“You do look like hell.”
“Same goes for you, buddy.” I stand up and walk toward the door. “See ya later.”
He follows me, giving me one last friendly verbal send-off. “See ya, friend.”
I open the door and hustle to the safety of my car. Christian can’t ever find out about this one. But Flora will know in approximately one minute.
Chapter
Fifty-Six
"No way!” Flora belts out.
“I know. We left off as fine as possible, but I’m freaking out.” This includes sweat building under my knees, so I blast the AC downward.
“Obviously. Who wouldn’t be? I’m in shock.”
“Yeah. What do I do? What do I do?” My mind is sprinting as fast as the last run I played on my cello.
“Breathe, as a first step.” Her exhaled breath fills the car through the speakers.
I follow her advice and let out a long, slow breath too.
“Okay. Now,” she says, “there’s nothing more to do. You made it known that you’ll remain friends, so you remain friends.”
“It sounds so simple.” Can someone alert my shaky hands on the steering wheel?
“I know it’s hard to think clearly right now, but let things settle. You and David have such an ease in your friendship that I bet it can overcome anything. Don’t think too much about all this.”
“But the Christian piece! It kills me that he was right.” I adjust the AC knob once more, needing full coolness on my neck and tightening throat.
“So let him be right—just on this one. It doesn’t mean he’s always right or that he’s right about the rest of what’s happening.”
“Yeah, good point, sis.” He’s not right that I couldn’t have a successful winery. He’s not.
“Do you think you’ll tell him about this whole thing, though?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I’m swift to answer. “I’d like to keep trying to be close to him again, but I also don’t want to poke the bear. Sometimes withholding hurtful info is the kinder action to do for the other person, you know? No need to get him upset.”
“Yeah, that’s a tough one. I say, do what you feel in your heart. If a time comes when you think you should tell him, tell him. If not, keep on moving. Just like you’ll do with David.”
I sigh.
“Sis, it’ll be okay. I swear,” she comforts.
“I know it will. I guess it’s good everything’s out in the open—with David, at least. I can’t take any more tension added into the mix. I hate all the secrets I’ve been carrying, Flora. It isn’t how I want to live. This isn’t me!”
“I know it’s not what you want, and no, it isn’t you. Sometimes, we have to do things for our sanity and the bigger picture, though. Remember, simplicity is the way of the future. Carry on as normal, and all will be normal.”
“Such wisdom from my girl tonight. I hear you and appreciate you listening. Thanks for helping me come to my senses.” I can finally rest in my seat, not realizing I was stick straight for the entirety of the ride.
“If I didn’t, what kind of a sister would I be?!”
“Today was fun, though, right? I’m glad you got to see the world I love.”
“Yeah, it was a great time. I hope we go to that event every year now.”
“Me too. Thanks for coming along.” I pause and consume the fresh, cold air. “Okay, you have a good night. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Love ya, Toni.”
“Love ya too…so much.”
One aspect of my life is simple at least. Thank God for my sister.
