The Gift, page 15
“I’ve noticed some weirdness lately with him. I can’t say exactly what, but it’s a feeling. Like, something has shifted.” Chills lead me to wiggle in my chair. “He said something about being there for me no matter what happens with Christian.”
“He couldn’t have meant it like that. You’re probably just letting everything get to you. I was getting anxious when I started to think about opening my surf shop. Everything was heightened—and not like the perfect wave.”
“That helps.” Her confidence in David’s intentions is just what I needed. “I still feel massively guilty about needing to pretend I haven’t been to Temecula Valley when I go with Christian, though. He agreed to take a trip but isn’t open to the idea of looking for property there since it’s hours away from home.”
“Yeah, that’s a bit of a knot in the chain. Well, why not tell him?”
My leg starts to shake uncontrollably. “I don’t want the snappy Christian to return. And I don’t need the David comments. He was almost like his old self this past weekend when we celebrated our anniversary—calm, thoughtful, and romantic.”
“Christian is a good guy, overall. You should tell him. Don’t you want to be able to tell him anything as his wife?”
“I do, but can I? That’s another story.”
She raises her eyebrows.
“What?” I grit my teeth.
“Nothing. I assumed you two had good communication. That’s all.” She grabs another slice and doesn’t make eye contact.
Half of mine is still resting on my plate. If my appetite is stifled, the world must be ending. “We’re fine.” I lower my head and lick my lips.
“Are you?” Flora slouches to match my level. “I’ve noticed sometimes he says things that aren’t—”
“Yeah,” I cut her off. “We’ll be fine. It’s a rough patch. All couples go through it.” Convincing myself and others that nothing has changed in my marriage may be a third career choice.
“True. Well…”—she places her hand on my shoulder—“your sis is always a text, call, or visit away.”
I look at her, into eyes just like mine, and say, “I appreciate you.”
“And me, you. Now eat up. I got us dessert.”
Suddenly, my stomach alerts me that it’s back in action. “Oh?”
“Yup, panna cotta and raspberries to drape on top.” She shimmies her head side to side.
“You always speak my language.”
“I know you.” She smiles and takes another bite of her pizza slice.
Let’s just hope she doesn’t know me enough to see behind my mask.
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
Sitting in the orchestra pit of the Walt Disney Concert Hall, waiting to begin tonight’s Phantom of the Opera performance, I can’t help but think how I’d be up on the stage with the LA Philharmonic if I had been accepted the last time. Or the times before that. The audition is creeping up, so staying on track with my responsibilities, adding in practicing, and trying to move forward on—ahem—other goals is more challenging than I thought.
Every time I’ve played a show in the past, I’ve sat with anticipation, like a child on Christmas Eve. It’s always been accompanied by excitement bursting from my body with every stroke and fingering. Yet, tonight is different. Is another variation happening in my life? My God, enough.
I want to sit with my butt in the chair, bow in hand, cello between my legs, music staring me in the face, and be itching to play, but my mind is swirling with the upcoming trip to Temecula Valley this weekend, especially after talking to Flora about it. Hey, I’m allowed to enjoy both music and wine. They’re a match made in heaven.
Just not right now.
Amidst my haze, I hear my name being called from behind me. When I turn to see who’s saying it, I can’t believe who’s peeking over the wall. “David?”
“Yeah,” he yell-whispers then makes a waving motion to come toward him.
I rest my cello on my chair, leaving the endpin against my music stand, and make my way over. “What are you doing here?” Both shock and pleasure take hold of me as I speak as loud as appropriate to reach his bobbing head above the wall’s height. Feeling supported is always a nice surprise, especially since Christian’s sneezing ended up being severe allergies, and he couldn’t use the ticket he bought to see tonight’s show.
“I thought I’d see my favorite musical while my favorite pit musician plays for it.” He props his head on his hands resting on the tall wall.
“I’m honored.” Seeing him tonight after Flora eased some of my fears feels lighter at least. Maybe I can finally think of him as my old pal once again, without any threat to us or my marriage.
“Did I ever tell you this was the first musical I saw as a kid? My parents took me when I was in high school.”
“No, but that’s great. It’s one of my favorites also. Now the music will be in my head all day tomorrow. ‘Christine, angel!’” I smile. “Well, I don’t want to be rude, but I need to get back.”
“Yes, don’t let me interrupt you. Just saying hi, but do you want to meet up afterward?” He lifts his chin, awaiting my response.
“Uh, yeah, I can maybe catch a quick bite with you, since I’m sure I’ll be hungry. Flora and I had pizza a while ago.”
“You’re always up for eating!”
“That’s right. And don’t you forget it.” I giggle. “Text you after. Think of where to go, and we can meet there.”
“You got it. Bye.” His head disappears from behind the wall.
Walking back to my seat, the twinge of enthusiasm I should feel for the show tonight comes to my awareness. At least I have it about something, and maybe it’ll transfer to the show. I grab my cello and take a seat.
Focus, Toni, I remind myself as I slide my bow along the strings of my cello and try to hear my playing over others around me. Just let the music take over. Moving my arm back and forth and improvising begins to center me, letting any residual nerves dissipate into the harmless note-filled air. It’s time for Phantom, not for drama. Oh, the irony.
“What a show. It never gets old for me.” David chomps on his cheeseburger.
“Agreed. And I’ll forever enjoy playing the score.” Dipping my steak fries into ketchup at Megaburger Now!, I’m still bothered that I wasn’t feeling the performance high as much as in the past. I need to get with the program if I want to ace my audition.
“What’s wrong?”
David knows me too well…and always cares.
“Eh, nothing really.” Great going. That wouldn’t even convince Nala.
“Something really. Come on, I can tell.” He tilts his head.
Where to start? I take a huge bite of my bacon cheeseburger, giving me time to think. Pointing to my chewing mouth to delay who knows what’ll be said, I mutter an unintelligible sound.
“Toni. Since when did chewing stop you from speaking?” David laughs. “Spit it out. Well, you know what I mean.”
I laugh, and a speck of food accidentally slips back onto my plate. “Sorry, I know that’s gross,” I say, covering it with my napkin.
“It’s part of you. Don’t worry.”
His statement stops my mouth from moving. As the glob of burger marinates at the same time my brain does, I avoid looking blankly at David’s face. “Um…” What a friend. Taking me as I am. It’s refreshing. It’s also as it should be with loved ones.
His silence alerts me that he’ll wait until I say something more than um.
Swallowing, I admit one element in my twisted thoughts. “I’m a little worried that I wasn’t fully enjoying playing tonight. You know my audition is this week already?”
“Yes, and you have nothing to worry about. I’ve heard you perform a thousand times, and there’s nobody better than you.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence. But I need to get into the right head space. Going behind the screen to play for people who have your fate in their hands on the other side is not for the faint of heart.”
“Good thing you have a big one.” He smiles and takes another bite of his burger.
“I wish I had your faith in me. I don’t know which side is up lately.”
“You’ll figure it out. But I thought you already decided that you’re doing the wine thing.” He moves his fry in a circle on his plate, covering its length in mayonnaise.
“I have. I thought. But getting into the LA Philharmonic is everything I always wanted. I decided on opening a winery, then this opportunity popped into my life, right on time to shake me up.” I sink back into the white padded booth.
“Things change, though. And that’s alright. Did I ever tell you how my parents wanted me to be a lawyer?”
“I can’t imagine that at all. You’re a great teacher.” My parents’ hope that I stay with music flows back to mind, leading to a slight shiver.
“Thanks. They wanted me to be an immigration lawyer, specifically to help the Asian community with issues we face. Though it would be a noble career, it wasn’t right for me. That was the first time I had to make a big decision in my life, and it went against family, which is everything in my culture. I was seen as disrespectful for a while.”
“I can relate.” I roll my eyes.
“We’re lucky to have great families, but sometimes it feels like too much pressure.” He exhales as if releasing the internal weight.
“Yes!” He always understands. It’s truly amazing.
“We put that pressure on ourselves too. I’m just bringing this up to tell you what you want to do can happen. The decision will be made for you on some level anyway because your spirit will lead you to it.” He flicks his wrist inward. “Your family will come around like mine did. I know it.”
David is a ball of wise words tonight.
“Well, look at all of the kids you help to love history. You make it fun for them.” I lean toward him. “They’ve told me how much they learn with the biggest smiles on their faces. ‘Mr. Miura taught us about this and taught us about that today.’ I think you chose right.”
David sits up straighter and nods. “It’s the right job for me.”
“I can’t wait for the day to feel that assured about my career.”
“You will. This midlife crisis—”
“Aah,” I interject.
He smiles and continues, “—is just a blip in the timespan of your life. Want my advice?”
“Yes, please!” I shout. “More, more.”
“Do your best for your audition and keep going on the wine path. The audition is a bonus, not a barrier.”
“A bonus, not a barrier,” I repeat to comprehend the meaning.
“Yes, it can only provide more support for you to know what the best choice is for you.”
“I guess that makes sense. Take it as a bonus if I get offered a job and not as an obstacle.”
“Exactly. There’s a Japanese proverb I’ll share with you. Ashita wa ashita no kaze ga fuku. It means, tomorrow’s winds will blow tomorrow. Don’t worry about the future right now. Instead, be positive about it, and it will help you in the present.”
Hearing the word wind immediately soothes my torn soul. Pietro’s whisper in my ear strikes again. I mime my mind being blown and say, “David, I’m going to have to save some of these statements you’re making tonight in my notes app.”
He sips his water through his straw. “Here to help. So, what’s happening with the winery progress, anyway?”
“I haven’t been able to speak to you all week about this, but Christian reluctantly agreed to visit Temecula Valley with me. It’s a step. Isn’t that great?”
“That is great. Now, have you told him that we already went?”
“That’s a big fat no.”
He places his drink back down on the table. “If he agreed to go at all, maybe he’s warming up to opening a winery in general. From what you’ve told me, he was only considering the possibility if near Malibu, so this move could be promising.”
“Let’s emphasize possibility. It’s odd…” I trail off and look at the quarter-sized chunk of burger left on my plate with two thick fries.
“What’s odd?” He dips his head into my peripheral view.
“He’s been nicer to me lately, but I still feel like the other shoe is about to drop. That’s how it’s been for a while. And when the cost becomes reality and he finds out that I like the land in the south most of all, I can’t imagine him going along with the idea. I’m afraid of Mr. Miserable returning.”
David sighs. “Yeah, those aspects would be a tough pill for him to swallow, but do you really think he’ll try to abolish your passion?”
Even talking about being among the vines, my own vines, leads my insides to jump for joy. I’m reminded that this is it. This is the feeling I used to have when I played a show. I want to bottle it, pour it into a pool, and swim in it daily. And I can, essentially. I just need to get the hubs on board.
“I don’t think that’s his aim.” I pause, remembering the sadness in his eyes about abandoning screenwriting. “But convincing him to take a chance this big will be a challenge.”
“Wait. I hadn’t thought about how, if you do this, you would have to move down there. You’d be far away from me! Toni, I don’t know if I’m on board anymore.” David grins, but his eyes droop.
I flop back in my seat. “I never really connected that either. I’ll miss you! Okay—” I stop myself. “The wind statement. Say it again.”
“Ashita wa ashita no kaze ga fuku. Yes, we both need to remember that.”
“The teacher becomes the student,” I joke. “But seriously, all of this feels like a million years away. And nothing will end our friendship.”
Tonight feels like the old us again. Thank God Flora was right. I need people to grip onto like him and my sis—total backing, no judgment. And phew, one fear off my plate.
I also need to get back to Temecula Valley and hope the magic takes over Christian’s body, like it did for me. That artist soul is in there somewhere, and I’m going to dig it out. But until then, I can’t worry about tomorrow’s wind.
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
A normal human being would not choose this moment of sitting in traffic on the way to their umpteenth LA Philharmonic audition to call their Italian uncle and discuss another passion. But I’m obviously not normal. You know that by now.
“Ciao, Uncle Roberto. It’s Toni.”
“La mia bella nipote. How are you today?”
Hearing the love exuding from his voice thousands of miles away makes me wonder why I’ve taken so long to tell him my news. “I’m actually on my way to an audition, and you came to my mind.”
“I like to hear that. And that you’re about to play your beautiful instrument. The listeners are lucky.”
I imagine him scrunching his petite angelic face as he talks about my playing. He was always a big fan. “You’re too kind, Uncle Roberto.”
“I speak the truth!” The strength in his voice is never petite.
Smiling, I continue, “I wanted to tell you something about another interest.”
“Cosa?”
“I’m thinking of opening a winery, just like Pietro!” The words burst from my tongue as I sit at a full stop on I-5.
“Che bravo! You must tell me more.”
I breathe at a usual rhythm again, not realizing I was holding my breath until his reaction. “Honestly, I’ve been feeling like I need a career change, and once you told me about our family story, I couldn’t stop thinking about making wine. One thought led to another, and here I am, starting to look for land.” If it were only that simple.
“You have shocked an old man but also provided him with happiness. I want you to be nothing but happy. That is what life is all about.”
“I agree, though it’s been an interesting journey so far.”
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“I don’t know how I’ll be able to make it happen, but I’m trying. You know, little things like money and no experience.” I chuckle to keep it light while a dull ache announces itself in my chest.
“Eh, you can make anything work. You’re an Agosti.”
His emphasis on our last name assures me he’s clenching his hand in the iconic Italian gesture, thumb to fingers.
“Thank you! Oh, hey, though, I have a question.”
“Anything, la mia gentile nipote.”
I adore when he calls me my sweet, since it reminds me of when he brought me a pound of black licorice as a kid, telling me I’m sweet. My lips curl at the memory.
“I know this is strange, but since I’ve been thinking of Pietro so much, I wondered if you have any pictures of him. Do any exist that you can think of?” I also wonder if the image in my mind would match Pietro’s appearance in reality, though a black-and-white photo would have to do.
“Hmm. I do not think I have anything like that. We are talking about well over one hundred years ago.” His intensity wanes.
I deflate a notch, though inch ahead on the freeway a few feet. “I knew it was a long shot but figured I’d ask.”
“Always ask. You do not know unless you try.”
My God, yes. Remember his words, Toni.
He continues, “I will talk to a few people in the family about it. How is that?”
“I’d love it. Thanks, Uncle Roberto. And anything else you can find about the old business, I’d also like to see. Documents, photos, anything…especially the exact location of his winery.”
“I will ask about that as well. We will see what the family has, bella.”
Once I arrive at the Walt Disney Concert Hall, I end my call with my uncle and switch my mind back to the present. Although talking to him brought me into another world, a world of dancing through my vines and sipping wine from grapes I grew with my own two hands, it re-energized me for this audition in a world I’m familiar with as much as my two hands. “Give it all you’ve got,” I remind myself.
“He couldn’t have meant it like that. You’re probably just letting everything get to you. I was getting anxious when I started to think about opening my surf shop. Everything was heightened—and not like the perfect wave.”
“That helps.” Her confidence in David’s intentions is just what I needed. “I still feel massively guilty about needing to pretend I haven’t been to Temecula Valley when I go with Christian, though. He agreed to take a trip but isn’t open to the idea of looking for property there since it’s hours away from home.”
“Yeah, that’s a bit of a knot in the chain. Well, why not tell him?”
My leg starts to shake uncontrollably. “I don’t want the snappy Christian to return. And I don’t need the David comments. He was almost like his old self this past weekend when we celebrated our anniversary—calm, thoughtful, and romantic.”
“Christian is a good guy, overall. You should tell him. Don’t you want to be able to tell him anything as his wife?”
“I do, but can I? That’s another story.”
She raises her eyebrows.
“What?” I grit my teeth.
“Nothing. I assumed you two had good communication. That’s all.” She grabs another slice and doesn’t make eye contact.
Half of mine is still resting on my plate. If my appetite is stifled, the world must be ending. “We’re fine.” I lower my head and lick my lips.
“Are you?” Flora slouches to match my level. “I’ve noticed sometimes he says things that aren’t—”
“Yeah,” I cut her off. “We’ll be fine. It’s a rough patch. All couples go through it.” Convincing myself and others that nothing has changed in my marriage may be a third career choice.
“True. Well…”—she places her hand on my shoulder—“your sis is always a text, call, or visit away.”
I look at her, into eyes just like mine, and say, “I appreciate you.”
“And me, you. Now eat up. I got us dessert.”
Suddenly, my stomach alerts me that it’s back in action. “Oh?”
“Yup, panna cotta and raspberries to drape on top.” She shimmies her head side to side.
“You always speak my language.”
“I know you.” She smiles and takes another bite of her pizza slice.
Let’s just hope she doesn’t know me enough to see behind my mask.
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
Sitting in the orchestra pit of the Walt Disney Concert Hall, waiting to begin tonight’s Phantom of the Opera performance, I can’t help but think how I’d be up on the stage with the LA Philharmonic if I had been accepted the last time. Or the times before that. The audition is creeping up, so staying on track with my responsibilities, adding in practicing, and trying to move forward on—ahem—other goals is more challenging than I thought.
Every time I’ve played a show in the past, I’ve sat with anticipation, like a child on Christmas Eve. It’s always been accompanied by excitement bursting from my body with every stroke and fingering. Yet, tonight is different. Is another variation happening in my life? My God, enough.
I want to sit with my butt in the chair, bow in hand, cello between my legs, music staring me in the face, and be itching to play, but my mind is swirling with the upcoming trip to Temecula Valley this weekend, especially after talking to Flora about it. Hey, I’m allowed to enjoy both music and wine. They’re a match made in heaven.
Just not right now.
Amidst my haze, I hear my name being called from behind me. When I turn to see who’s saying it, I can’t believe who’s peeking over the wall. “David?”
“Yeah,” he yell-whispers then makes a waving motion to come toward him.
I rest my cello on my chair, leaving the endpin against my music stand, and make my way over. “What are you doing here?” Both shock and pleasure take hold of me as I speak as loud as appropriate to reach his bobbing head above the wall’s height. Feeling supported is always a nice surprise, especially since Christian’s sneezing ended up being severe allergies, and he couldn’t use the ticket he bought to see tonight’s show.
“I thought I’d see my favorite musical while my favorite pit musician plays for it.” He props his head on his hands resting on the tall wall.
“I’m honored.” Seeing him tonight after Flora eased some of my fears feels lighter at least. Maybe I can finally think of him as my old pal once again, without any threat to us or my marriage.
“Did I ever tell you this was the first musical I saw as a kid? My parents took me when I was in high school.”
“No, but that’s great. It’s one of my favorites also. Now the music will be in my head all day tomorrow. ‘Christine, angel!’” I smile. “Well, I don’t want to be rude, but I need to get back.”
“Yes, don’t let me interrupt you. Just saying hi, but do you want to meet up afterward?” He lifts his chin, awaiting my response.
“Uh, yeah, I can maybe catch a quick bite with you, since I’m sure I’ll be hungry. Flora and I had pizza a while ago.”
“You’re always up for eating!”
“That’s right. And don’t you forget it.” I giggle. “Text you after. Think of where to go, and we can meet there.”
“You got it. Bye.” His head disappears from behind the wall.
Walking back to my seat, the twinge of enthusiasm I should feel for the show tonight comes to my awareness. At least I have it about something, and maybe it’ll transfer to the show. I grab my cello and take a seat.
Focus, Toni, I remind myself as I slide my bow along the strings of my cello and try to hear my playing over others around me. Just let the music take over. Moving my arm back and forth and improvising begins to center me, letting any residual nerves dissipate into the harmless note-filled air. It’s time for Phantom, not for drama. Oh, the irony.
“What a show. It never gets old for me.” David chomps on his cheeseburger.
“Agreed. And I’ll forever enjoy playing the score.” Dipping my steak fries into ketchup at Megaburger Now!, I’m still bothered that I wasn’t feeling the performance high as much as in the past. I need to get with the program if I want to ace my audition.
“What’s wrong?”
David knows me too well…and always cares.
“Eh, nothing really.” Great going. That wouldn’t even convince Nala.
“Something really. Come on, I can tell.” He tilts his head.
Where to start? I take a huge bite of my bacon cheeseburger, giving me time to think. Pointing to my chewing mouth to delay who knows what’ll be said, I mutter an unintelligible sound.
“Toni. Since when did chewing stop you from speaking?” David laughs. “Spit it out. Well, you know what I mean.”
I laugh, and a speck of food accidentally slips back onto my plate. “Sorry, I know that’s gross,” I say, covering it with my napkin.
“It’s part of you. Don’t worry.”
His statement stops my mouth from moving. As the glob of burger marinates at the same time my brain does, I avoid looking blankly at David’s face. “Um…” What a friend. Taking me as I am. It’s refreshing. It’s also as it should be with loved ones.
His silence alerts me that he’ll wait until I say something more than um.
Swallowing, I admit one element in my twisted thoughts. “I’m a little worried that I wasn’t fully enjoying playing tonight. You know my audition is this week already?”
“Yes, and you have nothing to worry about. I’ve heard you perform a thousand times, and there’s nobody better than you.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence. But I need to get into the right head space. Going behind the screen to play for people who have your fate in their hands on the other side is not for the faint of heart.”
“Good thing you have a big one.” He smiles and takes another bite of his burger.
“I wish I had your faith in me. I don’t know which side is up lately.”
“You’ll figure it out. But I thought you already decided that you’re doing the wine thing.” He moves his fry in a circle on his plate, covering its length in mayonnaise.
“I have. I thought. But getting into the LA Philharmonic is everything I always wanted. I decided on opening a winery, then this opportunity popped into my life, right on time to shake me up.” I sink back into the white padded booth.
“Things change, though. And that’s alright. Did I ever tell you how my parents wanted me to be a lawyer?”
“I can’t imagine that at all. You’re a great teacher.” My parents’ hope that I stay with music flows back to mind, leading to a slight shiver.
“Thanks. They wanted me to be an immigration lawyer, specifically to help the Asian community with issues we face. Though it would be a noble career, it wasn’t right for me. That was the first time I had to make a big decision in my life, and it went against family, which is everything in my culture. I was seen as disrespectful for a while.”
“I can relate.” I roll my eyes.
“We’re lucky to have great families, but sometimes it feels like too much pressure.” He exhales as if releasing the internal weight.
“Yes!” He always understands. It’s truly amazing.
“We put that pressure on ourselves too. I’m just bringing this up to tell you what you want to do can happen. The decision will be made for you on some level anyway because your spirit will lead you to it.” He flicks his wrist inward. “Your family will come around like mine did. I know it.”
David is a ball of wise words tonight.
“Well, look at all of the kids you help to love history. You make it fun for them.” I lean toward him. “They’ve told me how much they learn with the biggest smiles on their faces. ‘Mr. Miura taught us about this and taught us about that today.’ I think you chose right.”
David sits up straighter and nods. “It’s the right job for me.”
“I can’t wait for the day to feel that assured about my career.”
“You will. This midlife crisis—”
“Aah,” I interject.
He smiles and continues, “—is just a blip in the timespan of your life. Want my advice?”
“Yes, please!” I shout. “More, more.”
“Do your best for your audition and keep going on the wine path. The audition is a bonus, not a barrier.”
“A bonus, not a barrier,” I repeat to comprehend the meaning.
“Yes, it can only provide more support for you to know what the best choice is for you.”
“I guess that makes sense. Take it as a bonus if I get offered a job and not as an obstacle.”
“Exactly. There’s a Japanese proverb I’ll share with you. Ashita wa ashita no kaze ga fuku. It means, tomorrow’s winds will blow tomorrow. Don’t worry about the future right now. Instead, be positive about it, and it will help you in the present.”
Hearing the word wind immediately soothes my torn soul. Pietro’s whisper in my ear strikes again. I mime my mind being blown and say, “David, I’m going to have to save some of these statements you’re making tonight in my notes app.”
He sips his water through his straw. “Here to help. So, what’s happening with the winery progress, anyway?”
“I haven’t been able to speak to you all week about this, but Christian reluctantly agreed to visit Temecula Valley with me. It’s a step. Isn’t that great?”
“That is great. Now, have you told him that we already went?”
“That’s a big fat no.”
He places his drink back down on the table. “If he agreed to go at all, maybe he’s warming up to opening a winery in general. From what you’ve told me, he was only considering the possibility if near Malibu, so this move could be promising.”
“Let’s emphasize possibility. It’s odd…” I trail off and look at the quarter-sized chunk of burger left on my plate with two thick fries.
“What’s odd?” He dips his head into my peripheral view.
“He’s been nicer to me lately, but I still feel like the other shoe is about to drop. That’s how it’s been for a while. And when the cost becomes reality and he finds out that I like the land in the south most of all, I can’t imagine him going along with the idea. I’m afraid of Mr. Miserable returning.”
David sighs. “Yeah, those aspects would be a tough pill for him to swallow, but do you really think he’ll try to abolish your passion?”
Even talking about being among the vines, my own vines, leads my insides to jump for joy. I’m reminded that this is it. This is the feeling I used to have when I played a show. I want to bottle it, pour it into a pool, and swim in it daily. And I can, essentially. I just need to get the hubs on board.
“I don’t think that’s his aim.” I pause, remembering the sadness in his eyes about abandoning screenwriting. “But convincing him to take a chance this big will be a challenge.”
“Wait. I hadn’t thought about how, if you do this, you would have to move down there. You’d be far away from me! Toni, I don’t know if I’m on board anymore.” David grins, but his eyes droop.
I flop back in my seat. “I never really connected that either. I’ll miss you! Okay—” I stop myself. “The wind statement. Say it again.”
“Ashita wa ashita no kaze ga fuku. Yes, we both need to remember that.”
“The teacher becomes the student,” I joke. “But seriously, all of this feels like a million years away. And nothing will end our friendship.”
Tonight feels like the old us again. Thank God Flora was right. I need people to grip onto like him and my sis—total backing, no judgment. And phew, one fear off my plate.
I also need to get back to Temecula Valley and hope the magic takes over Christian’s body, like it did for me. That artist soul is in there somewhere, and I’m going to dig it out. But until then, I can’t worry about tomorrow’s wind.
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
A normal human being would not choose this moment of sitting in traffic on the way to their umpteenth LA Philharmonic audition to call their Italian uncle and discuss another passion. But I’m obviously not normal. You know that by now.
“Ciao, Uncle Roberto. It’s Toni.”
“La mia bella nipote. How are you today?”
Hearing the love exuding from his voice thousands of miles away makes me wonder why I’ve taken so long to tell him my news. “I’m actually on my way to an audition, and you came to my mind.”
“I like to hear that. And that you’re about to play your beautiful instrument. The listeners are lucky.”
I imagine him scrunching his petite angelic face as he talks about my playing. He was always a big fan. “You’re too kind, Uncle Roberto.”
“I speak the truth!” The strength in his voice is never petite.
Smiling, I continue, “I wanted to tell you something about another interest.”
“Cosa?”
“I’m thinking of opening a winery, just like Pietro!” The words burst from my tongue as I sit at a full stop on I-5.
“Che bravo! You must tell me more.”
I breathe at a usual rhythm again, not realizing I was holding my breath until his reaction. “Honestly, I’ve been feeling like I need a career change, and once you told me about our family story, I couldn’t stop thinking about making wine. One thought led to another, and here I am, starting to look for land.” If it were only that simple.
“You have shocked an old man but also provided him with happiness. I want you to be nothing but happy. That is what life is all about.”
“I agree, though it’s been an interesting journey so far.”
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“I don’t know how I’ll be able to make it happen, but I’m trying. You know, little things like money and no experience.” I chuckle to keep it light while a dull ache announces itself in my chest.
“Eh, you can make anything work. You’re an Agosti.”
His emphasis on our last name assures me he’s clenching his hand in the iconic Italian gesture, thumb to fingers.
“Thank you! Oh, hey, though, I have a question.”
“Anything, la mia gentile nipote.”
I adore when he calls me my sweet, since it reminds me of when he brought me a pound of black licorice as a kid, telling me I’m sweet. My lips curl at the memory.
“I know this is strange, but since I’ve been thinking of Pietro so much, I wondered if you have any pictures of him. Do any exist that you can think of?” I also wonder if the image in my mind would match Pietro’s appearance in reality, though a black-and-white photo would have to do.
“Hmm. I do not think I have anything like that. We are talking about well over one hundred years ago.” His intensity wanes.
I deflate a notch, though inch ahead on the freeway a few feet. “I knew it was a long shot but figured I’d ask.”
“Always ask. You do not know unless you try.”
My God, yes. Remember his words, Toni.
He continues, “I will talk to a few people in the family about it. How is that?”
“I’d love it. Thanks, Uncle Roberto. And anything else you can find about the old business, I’d also like to see. Documents, photos, anything…especially the exact location of his winery.”
“I will ask about that as well. We will see what the family has, bella.”
Once I arrive at the Walt Disney Concert Hall, I end my call with my uncle and switch my mind back to the present. Although talking to him brought me into another world, a world of dancing through my vines and sipping wine from grapes I grew with my own two hands, it re-energized me for this audition in a world I’m familiar with as much as my two hands. “Give it all you’ve got,” I remind myself.
