The Gift, page 14
“Toni, how long are you going to wait? If we’re entertaining this thing, we need to get our ducks in a row.”
My clutch loosens. He’s right, and I should be happy he’s changed his tune a little, though nothing is certain with him...ever.
I swallow the negative thoughts and say, “You have a point. When are we meeting him?”
“I told him I’d meet him this week. You don’t need to go.”
“What are you talking about, babe?” I add a little fluff in my voice to give off a blasé attitude as my fingers tighten again. “This is my idea, so why wouldn’t I be there? I need to see where I may possibly revive my family legacy.” Hello?!
“And you will. But let me do something for you.” He lowers his head.
“I don’t understand.”
“Here are your drinks.” The server sets our drinks in front of us, so I roll my gaze to the sandy shore.
“Thanks,” we both say.
Before she even walks away, my mind switches to what can’t be ignored, that glistening liquid in the shiny glass stealing my senses. I need to taste this wine without wasting a second, already starting to mentally run through the steps I learned from Gio. Christian World can wait a second.
Tilting the glass, the overhead lights make its particles sparkle as clear as diamond cuts. Next, swirling it, I nudge my nose in the opening of the glass to breathe in a hint of, what? Green apples maybe. Finally, holding the wine in my mouth and swishing it around solidifies the fruity hints, and it’s just as satisfying when I consume it. After being in my own little bubble of pleasure, my attention shifts to my husband again.
“Where did you learn all that?” He raises his eyebrows, looking up at me from under them.
Fast, think on your feet, Toni. I can’t say where I learned it. “I watched some videos. Did I look like I knew what I was doing? More than with beer names?”
“You did. Good job.” He sips his dirty martini then pops a blue cheese olive in his mouth. “These are so good. Want one?”
“I’ll never reject food.” Chewing the salty richness, I’m in heaven. Maybe wine should come with stuffed olives. Hmm.
Once I come back down to earth, my gears adjust to what Christian was alluding to before our drinks wonderfully interrupted us. “Now what were you saying about doing something for me?”
He looks down again and quiets his voice. “I know I haven’t been the best husband recently, so I wanted to try to handle part of the logistics for you and see if it’s all feasible. I figured it’s my way of saying sorry and showing you that I love you.”
My God. I took his actions as him wanting to control everything when he was trying to eliminate tasks from my plate. Who’s the bad spouse now? My face grows hot, so I sip the cool treasure in front of me before I reply.
“Christian, that’s really thoughtful of you. I…I don’t know what to say.”
He extends his hand across the table, palm up. “Say you’ll trust me to see if this is a good move for us.”
Trust. Something we can both improve on. But if I tell him I searched another land area—with David, no less, and that he’s not even dating Isla anymore—it’ll not only anger him but hurt him. I refuse to harm his feelings, especially since now I know what he’s trying to do.
I place my clammy hand in his and squeeze.
“I will. And I love you.”
Chapter
Twenty-Six
"We’re leaving the coast?” My face scrunches in confusion.
“Yes?” he answers as he veers off the Pacific Coast Highway.
“Why the question?”
“Why all your questions, missy?” He laughs. “Any guesses where we’re going?”
Climbing up the hill, a familiar path hits my consciousness, and I scream, “The Griffith Observatory!”
“You got it. Remember how we came here from the beach on our fifth anniversary?”
“I do, on this same road. It was the first time since I was a kid, so I’ll never forget it.” A rush of young love pumps through my veins with the memory of the thrill of being with my gorgeous, smart, artistically driven man.
“I thought we could come every five years on our anniversary. A tradition of sorts.” He places his hand on my lap while he steers with his other hand.
I set both of my hands on his, feeling the warmth permeate through my dress. It’s welcome on this chillier-than-I-thought night. Someday, I’ll learn to check the weather. At least I chose a long skirt with these strappy sandals.
“What have you done with my husband? This is so thoughtful of you.” Eek, that sounded passive-aggressive. Quick, say something to fix it. “I appreciate the romance more than you know.”
He smiles.
It worked.
I cup his hand and bring it to my chest, over my heart.
Once we break free from parking hell and walk along the pathway at the top of the hill, Christian stops, which leads me to follow suit.
“This is why I wanted an early dinner reservation. We need to watch the sunset from up here.”
“Again, just like five years ago.” I fall into his torso as he braces mine with his long arms.
“I’ve lived here all my life, and seeing the sun set over the ocean never gets old.” His voice carries a melody through the evening landscape, a mix of hills and valleys dotted with city lights.
“Same here. Look at the orange blending with the red, making both yellow and pink somehow. It’s a miracle.” Harmony washes over me, making me wish I could bottle it for future moments needing its help.
“Just like you—can’t be explained with logic, but beautiful.” He pokes my side.
“Hardy-har-har. You’re pretty unusual yourself, Mister.”
He squeezes me and says, “Inconceivable.”
“Uh-huh.” I look to the left and see the lit-up Hollywood sign. “When I was a teenager, I wanted to set up my cello and play right under the huge white W.”
“Why the W?” He lets go of me to cover his mouth from a sneeze.
“Bless you.”
I put my hands in my pockets for warmth. I don’t buy skirts without them since most of my skirts are for recitals or shows, and I like slipping my phone in there. “Because that’s where I felt I needed to be.”
Christian giggles. “That’s a reason alright.”
“Don’t you ever just feel something is right? Like when you met me!” I turn to face him and lean on the wall.
“Yeah, I guess. But that may be the only time. Choices need to make sense.” He sneezes again.
“Whoa, bless you again. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, there must be something up here that I’m allergic to.” He looks around and points behind me. “Maybe certain flowers are blooming.”
“Maybe.” I look around to spot the budding culprits, but my attention is caught by the downtown skyline. A gust of wind blows across my face the second I connect that Pietro started our family roots there.
“You can really see the stars from up here.” His calm expression returns.
I poke him this time. “That’s kinda the point, genius.”
“I know, but tonight is clearer than usual. Sometimes you can’t even see the Hollywood sign.” He pauses for a few seconds. “You know, when I was a kid, I also looked at those huge white letters and thought I’d be a big-time writer in this town. But it has a way of chewing you up and spitting you out. Even my parents had to leave the costly area and head back East because they could never buy a house. They at least had a chance over there.”
“Yeah, they wanted that more than anything you told me.”
“Well, that’s why we’ll make it happen. And it has to be a four-bedroom house, just like they wanted. Then, they can come and stay with us sometime.”
“I’d love that. We don’t get to see them as much as we should.”
“Thousands of miles and debt does that to a family.” He looks away.
I wonder if I’ve hit a nerve with him, because I not only want to take a chance in my life but an expensive chance. Since his parents always struggled with finances, Christian never wanted us to feel that stress. Thankfully, we don’t—much due to him and not taking risks.
Being in a performance career has its risks, but you either get the job or you don’t. Unlike screenwriting, ends could still be met in other ways, like beloved teaching. My new passion is more comparable to screenwriting, though—not much in between success and failure.
I never realized I haven’t actually failed in my field. I am being paid to play, which is the whole point if you break it down in simplest terms. Just because where I play doesn’t match my exact vision doesn’t mean I haven’t achieved being a performer. And maybe I still will reach that vision soon and be offered a position. Ha, talk about a risky decision I’ll probably never have to make.
How have I never made this connection with Christian, though? He was fine, going along with his career plan years ago, but not wanting to repeat his family’s past made him choose a stable plan for us. So, if we hadn’t gotten married, would he still be a screenwriter? Maybe he would have muddled through a little longer to wait until his big hit.
I got in the way.
Did this choice start our dynamic shift? My eyes reach the top of their viewing potential. His personality started changing longer ago than I thought. Have we really been struggling for at least half of our marriage?
After gathering my presence of mind, I suggest, “You know, you could still try to be a screenwriter. You aren’t stuck as a professor.” Hey, he could be in an early midlife crisis too.
“No. That ship has sailed.” He repositions his body with his back against the wall. “I’m good with what I do, helping students get to the next level.” Crossing his arms, he continues, “It would’ve been nice to make it back in the day, but I like our life this way. It’s reliable.”
That’s my man. Old faithful. I love that about him, but I also wish he could connect with his artist soul in some way. He must miss it. “You don’t have to choose. I’ll just leave that statement here… Now, look up at those stars. The sky’s the limit.”
With another gust of wind on my already nippy face, I find the bravery to bring up the location of my personal star. Christian is in a more sentimental mood than usual, so let me give it a try. And…go.
“Christian.” I stare at the three copper domes on the white observatory building and focus on their stability for confidence. “I have an idea I want to tell you about.”
“You’re full of ‘em. Let me have it.”
My attention shifts back to Christian’s smiling face. Okay, still in a good mood.
“I did a little research and think we should check out an area down south. Remember you saw online that Temecula Valley has wineries? It doesn’t hurt to go and explore the area.”
Christian sucks in his lips and tilts his head. “That was a few hours away. We can’t establish a business there.”
“Yeah, but you never know. All I’m asking is for you to go and see it with me. I have a feeling about it.”
“Another feeling, huh?” He rolls his eyes. Continuing to speak while looking away, he says, “There’s no way that could work, so why waste our time?”
Of course he can’t fathom anything outside his box. The new-old Christian never left.
“Look, I think we can give it a chance.” I smirk, hoping he’ll catch my drift.
The glare he returns tells me he does.
“It’s our anniversary, so I’ll agree to go see it. But that’s all. This is a wild idea in the first place, so let’s not make it any wilder.”
I place my hands on my hips and stand on my tiptoes to pretend to appear big and bad. “It’s not wild. But thank you.” I lower my chin for emphasis.
That was too easy. What’s his story? Does our anniversary have that much power? Well, I’ll just be grateful for his agreement. After all, I get another chance to see the promised land.
He places his hands on my shoulders and gently eases me on flat feet again. “Oh, Toni. I can’t resist your little face.”
Uh, yes, he can… If he only knew about my adventure that I can’t tell him about now—or ever.
I manage a smile. “Good. Now, come on and let’s go inside and look through the telescope.”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
"Hey, sis,” Flora answers her apartment door while holding up her phone. “Say hi to Ben and Mary.” She turns the screen to show them to me.
“Oh, hey, you two. Nice to see you.” I scoot past her to set the hot pizza box down on her dinette table then return to Flora and side-hug her. “So, Mary, how’s that cat of yours? He probably should meet his soulmate, Nala, some time.”
“Agreed.” She rubs her orangish-brown crystal dangling from her necklace. “Next time I make it out there, Mr. Grayson is a must.”
“Did I see pizza, honey?” Ben butts into the cat talk. “I’m on my way.”
“Yes, Flora and I are having an early dinner since I have a show later tonight.” I swivel my head to Flora, who smiles and nods.
“I wish I could see her play, but I have to get organized with my sales reports. It goes wacky fast,” she says.
A pain shoots through my chest at the thought of needing to run a bigger business than my lessons. It’s easy-peasy compared to a large-scale operation. The three smiling business owners’ faces bring me back to the present, though. They’re surviving. No, they’re thriving. That’s the goal I need to set my mind to now.
Ben puts his arm around Mary. “You got that right. Remember, we’re here for ya, to guide ya as needed.”
“I’m lucky to know you. And so is this one.” Flora points to me. “She may start a winery, so you may need to help her too.”
“What? That’s badass, girl!” Mary shouts.
“Spill the tea.” Ben leans closer to his phone. “Or the wine. Oh, I crack myself up sometimes.”
Both Flora and I join in the chuckling.
“I’m tossing around a career change and may want to revive an old family business.” My eyes catch the pizza turning cold by the second. “I’ll let Flora fill you in later.”
“We’re here for you too, so don’t forget it,” Ben says.
“Once, I had to depend on other business owners to get me through a rough time, so don’t hesitate to ask for help,” Mary offers.
“That’s unbelievably sweet of both of you.” The kindness of these two permeates my heart.
“They’re the best,” Flora agrees. “Well, I’ll talk to you soon. We need a little sister time now.”
“Talk later,” Ben says.
Mary waves. “See ya both.”
I wave back.
Flora holds up her fingers in the shape of a peace sign. “Until next time.” She sets her phone down next to her placemat as she slips into her seat. “Mangia.”
“Yes, let’s eat. I’m starving.” I shove the end of the New-York-style slice of pizza in my mouth and, while chewing, ask, “So, how is business?”
Flora swallows her tiny bite then answers, “It’s generally great. I’m learning heaps every day, and every day I’m happy. It’s so much better than anything I’ve done in the past.”
“I’m glad to hear it. You deserve nothing but happiness.”
“What’s happening on your end?” She gets up to grab a can of soda from her fridge. “Want one?”
“Yeah, thanks. And that’s a loaded question.” I look back at my extra-cheese-topped slice.
“Soda is the only thing loaded here.”
“Huh?” I mutter through my full mouth.
“With sugar.” She hip-bumps my shoulder, shaking me to spit out what’s been weighing on me.
A ha escapes through the cheese and bread, followed by, “I went to visit a possible area for a vineyard a few hours south of here, and I didn’t tell Christian.”
“Why not?” She keeps a flat expression.
“He was edgy about the whole thing, as you know, then showed slight interest but only about Malibu.”
“What are you talking about? There aren’t wineries in Malibu.” She takes another small bite from her slice.
“There are. I had no idea either. But anyway, long story short, he’s still not sold but has slight excitement—yet won’t admit it. Only if we consider that area does he give the idea the time of day.” I pause, reflecting on the place of dreams. “I really liked Temecula Valley. You have to see it.”
“I’ve been there. It’s gorgeous. Surrounded by desert mountains, greenery everywhere.”
“When did you go?” I gulp my soda, and the coldness almost hurts my throat.
“My last girlfriend took me down there for the day. We had a great time. A great, tipsy time.” She laughs. “We ended up having to get a room.”
“Seems like a place many people go on dates. I went down there with David—”
“WHAT?”
“Let me finish! I went there with David to check it out, and he said that he and his last girlfriend had gone there on a date.”
“Oh, my heart nearly stopped. Phew.” She pats her oily fingers on the napkin laying on her lap.
“Like I would cheat on Christian. With David!” I slide my fingers across the napkin still on the side of my plate.
“Stranger things have happened…” She looks away.
“Anyway, not only does Christian not know I went there at all, but he doesn’t know I dragged David along. You know what I told you he thinks about him.”
“Oh yeah. I don’t see it. David’s not into you. He’s a respectful guy and would never try to harm your marriage.”
“That’s what I thought, but...”
“But what? This sounds juicy.”
