Finding Molly Parsons, page 19
“Hey,” Molly began, taking Faith by the shoulders. “You don’t have to apologize to me. I want you to be happy, and if that is in Seattle, then that’s where you should be. I can visit you, if you’re good with that, and we can talk on the phone.”
“Yeah?” The relief Faith felt was immeasurable.
“Of course,” Molly chuckled. “You’re my niece, and you’re pretty friggin’ awesome. I want you to thrive, and I know Carmen will look out for you.”
“Yeah, she will.”
“That’s all I want. To know you’re happy and safe.”
“But, I feel… I don’t know, like I’m throwing your kindness back in your face.”
“Well, that’s dumb,” Molly stated matter-of-factly. “My love and kindness aren’t conditional, Faith. I can’t wait to get to know you better. We don’t need to live together for that.”
“Do… Do you think Carmen meant what she said?”
“What did she say?”
“She said I’d always have a home with her and Mateo.”
“Then yes, absolutely. If I know Carmen, and okay, I don’t know her well, but I think she only says what she means.”
“You’re really not upset?”
“Not in the slightest. Sweetie, you found me. The hard part is done. We’re in each other’s lives.”
“You rock, Aunt Mol,” Faith sobbed.
“C’mere,” Molly laughed, hauling Faith into another behemoth hug. “Everything’s going to be okay, Faith, I promise.”
This time, Faith had no trouble accepting such a promise. Things would be okay. Faith could feel it.
Chapter 19
Carmen
Alan turning up dredged up some old feelings. The last time Carmen felt that rush of anger towards another human being was when Mateo returned to their group home, battered and bruised. Back then Carmen couldn’t help, she couldn’t protect her brother, but that wasn’t the case now, which is why she’d been ready to launch an attack if Alan dared get too close to Faith.
Thankfully, there’d been no reason for her to get involved physically. Molly and Faith handled Alan, and now it was over. Which she should be happy about, but now, Carmen had to face the fact that Faith would more than likely stay in California with Molly and she would go home to Seattle. Back to her life, in her house. Wow, how sad was that?
Since Faith and Molly had gone for a walk, Carmen found herself milling about the ranch. Sitting still wasn’t possible. Her body felt as restless as her mind. Irritated with her own mood, Carmen took the stairs two at a time to the room she’d been sharing with Mateo. Unpacking her shorts and sport tank top, Carmen stretched, readying herself for a run.
The sun beat down mercilessly as her feet pounded the dirt track. Pushing herself, Carmen ran harder. The thought of simply going back to the life she’d had before Faith turned up sat heavy in her chest. Mateo tried for months to get her out of the house, but she’d always fought him.
The fun Carmen felt since Faith turned up and made their little family feel whole was unexpected, but welcome. Mateo seemed lighter, too. So, even if Faith stayed behind, Carmen knew she had to keep pulling herself toward something better. A flash of Molly’s eyes zipped across her mind, causing her to physically shake her head as she ran.
Trying to break out of her past life was one thing, thinking about a woman, quite another. One step at a time. Inevitably, she would go back to therapy. The events of the past few weeks churned up too much for Carmen to push down. Mateo wouldn’t allow her to, anyway. There was also her career to consider.
Owning two businesses provided her and Mateo with a secure future, but now, after witnessing the good that Molly and Bessie were doing, made her crave more. There was a deep sense of unfulfillment in her life. Rita would be a good person to speak to. Carmen could definitely help, she could give back. Rita deserved that. In fact, Carmen felt some shame that she’d not helped Rita more. That’s going to change!
As she rounded the corner, the ranch came into view. Sweat was literally dripping off her forehead into her eyes. Running in one hundred degree weather wasn’t the most sensible choice, but her body was satisfied and her head felt clearer.
Slowing down to a jog, Carmen saw Molly in the distance to the left of the house. It’s not like she meant to stare, but, holy shit, watching Molly in those tight ass shorts and tight tank was just too distracting.
Walking with her head firmly turned towards Molly, Carmen didn’t see Enid standing in front of her until they both nearly hit the floor. “Holy shit, Enid, I’m so sorry!”
“Christ on a bike, you nearly had me on my back, and I can tell you it’s been a long time since that happened, but, honey, you should know I don’t see you in that way,” Enid cackled.
“Hilarious. Seriously, are you okay? You’re no spring chicken anymore,” Carmen grinned.
“Cheeky shit. Yes, dear, I’m fine. Although maybe I should ask you that. What had you so distracted?”
Carmen’s eyes betrayed her by wandering back to Molly, who was none the wiser, still working hard. Her hair piled high in a ponytail. Her long neck on display. Beads of sweat running slowly down to her back.
“Hey, are you still with me, Carmen?” Enid said, snapping her fingers in front of Carmen’s face.
“What? Yeah, I’m here, what’s up?”
“Oh boy, I see. It’s not a something, it’s a someone. I called it, Bessie owes me fifty bucks.”
“You can wipe that shit-eating grin off your face,” Carmen huffed.
“I don’t think so. You’ve got the hots for Molly,” Enid cackled again.
“Will you keep your voice down and no, I do not! I was in my head thinking, and I just didn’t see you. I didn’t even notice Molly.”
“Ha, you’re ridiculous. Whatever, honey, I see you.”
Not wanting to listen to any more of Enid’s ludicrous ranting, Carmen politely excused herself to the house. She needed to shower and check her emails.
Once Carmen got into work mode, she wasted a good four hours. She hadn’t meant to, but actually it provided her with the space she needed. No way did she want to run into Enid or Bessie, not after she’d made a complete tit of herself ogling Molly and being caught doing it.
Her stomach growling eventually forced her to close the laptop down and sneak to the kitchen. It seemed everyone was out or in their rooms. Carmen could deal with that. Halfway through eating a ham and cheese sandwich, Molly joined her. Freshly showered, her hair deliciously damp. Carmen had to drink some water to get the rest of her sandwich down her esophagus. How the hell did Molly get hotter?
“Hey.”
“Hi,” Carmen half choked. “Sorry, the sandwich went down the wrong hole.”
Molly laughed, swiping the rest of Carmen’s sandwich off her plate. “Mmm, wow, that’s a good sandwich,” she mumbled. Carmen couldn’t speak. “Has Faith spoken to you?”
“Not since everything happened this morning.” Molly nodded, her eyes locked onto the last square of bread in her hand. “How are you? Really?” Carmen asked.
Molly’s shoulders dropped. “It was a lot. I’m just glad Faith is doing okay.”
“And you? Are you doing okay?”
“I—” Molly suddenly teared up. This is what Carmen had been afraid of. Molly keeping her feelings bottled up. Twenty years of waiting and hoping had ended today. That wasn’t something she would move past easily.
Scooting her chair closer, Carmen wrapped Molly up in her arms. Molly’s sobs were muffled as she buried her face in Carmen’s neck.
“I miss my parents so much. I miss what I had,” Molly finally rasped. “We were so happy. So loved, and it was shitty that got ripped away. For me and for Alan, but I thought I would always have him. I thought he would always be on my side. I truly believed he would come around one day. How could he not? I’m his only living family. But, after today? After seeing the hatred and anger he still holds in his heart, I know my prayers will go unanswered. And now I know I’m truly alone.”
Carmen’s heart broke for the young girl whose life had been ripped apart. For the adolescent that had her only brother disown her and for the adult in front of her now. “You are not alone,” Carmen whispered into her hair. “Love surrounds you. Faith is your blood. You have a family that loves you. I know it can’t wash away the pain you’ve suffered, but it’s a new beginning, Molly.”
“She’s not staying,” Molly hiccupped. “Faith, she doesn’t want to stay.”
Carmen pulled herself away from Molly, searching her face. “What do you mean? Where is she going?”
“She’s leaving with you. Her life is in Seattle.”
“Molly, I—”
“It’s okay, honestly. She’s finally building a life for herself. I want her to go where her heart takes her.”
“I’ll look after her, I swear.” Carmen was walking a fine line of heartache and happiness. Knowing Faith wanted to live with her and Mateo was wonderful. Seeing Molly so upset was not. Should she talk to Faith, urge her to reconsider? No, it wasn’t her place. Faith needed to be in charge of her life. Carmen was there to support and guide nothing more.
“We will talk on the phone and hopefully I can visit.”
“You are welcome anytime, Molly. Anytime.”
“Thank you, Carmen. I feel like my words aren’t enough to express the gratitude for everything you and Mateo have done for her.”
“Please, no more thanks. I just want to help.”
“You do,” Molly whispered, her lips brushing Carmen’s cheek. Carmen’s eyes fluttered shut as she relished in the sensation of Molly’s sumptuous lips on her skin.
“Hey, there’s a lady at the door for you, Molly,” Mateo shouted from the hall. Molly sat back slowly, her eyes on Carmen.
“Send them in,” Molly shouted back. Carmen stared, unable to break the contact with Molly. The urge to take Molly by the face and kiss her soundly was so strong she had to fight to remain still. The sound of footsteps approaching the kitchen finally snapped her out of the trance Molly had her in. Molly blinked, looked down at her lap briefly before getting up.
Carmen turned to the kitchen door where a very attractive woman stepped in, pulling Molly in by the waist and doing the one thing Carmen wished she could. Kissing Molly on the mouth. Carmen’s jaw tightened so hard she was close to cracking her back teeth.
“Hey you,” the mystery harlot said to Molly in a low voice.
“Chel-Chelsea, hi, um, what are you doing here?” Molly was clearly flustered. Carmen narrowed her eyes at the intruder.
“It’s been a few days since we’ve caught up. I have this evening off, so I thought I’d swing by. I didn’t realize you’d have guests.” Chelsea—ugh, what a name—flicked her eyes towards Carmen.
“Oh, right, um, this is Carmen,” Molly stuttered, gesturing to Carmen. “And this is Mateo. They drove Faith, my niece, here from Seattle.”
“Oh, cool,” Chelsea smiled. “Staying long?” Chelsea’s gaze fell once again squarely on Carmen. Ah, she’s threatened.
“Just a couple more days. We need to get back by the start of next week,” Carmen answered smoothly.
“And you are?” Mateo asked kindly.
“Chelsea, Molly’s—”
“Friend,” Molly interjected. Carmen didn’t miss the flicker of disappointment in Chelsea’s eyes.
“Yeah, friend.” Chelsea repeated. “So, do you want to hang out?”
“Um, you’re welcome to stay and hang out with us all. I want to spend as much time with these guys before they leave.”
“The kiddos will filter in as soon as I put dinner on,” Bessie said, shuffling into the kitchen. “Hey, Chelsea, good to see you, love.”
“Hey, Bessie.”
“Who are you?” Enid shot. Her short stature meant they had missed her behind Bessie. Carmen had to stifle a laugh at Enid. Her eyes were narrowed, and she was clearly judging Chelsea and her proximity to Molly.
“Um, Chelsea.”
“She’s my friend,” Molly parroted.
“Oh, your fuck buddy,” Enid tutted. Molly went a shade of red that Carmen didn’t think existed.
“Enid, fucking hell,” Carmen hissed.
“What? What did I do?”
“Go have a gummy on the porch,” Mateo shot.
“I don’t know why you’re all getting so upset. It’s the truth, isn’t it? No reason to be embarrassed. I had a fuck buddy for a while once, but his hip kept locking.”
“Oh my God,” Carmen hurled, mortified.
Enid cackled like a villain. “You lot are too easy,” she tittered, shuffling back out of the kitchen. “Call me when there is food. I’m going to have the munchies in about 20 minutes.
“I’m so sorry,” Molly whispered to Chelsea, who looked shell-shocked.
“She’s a law unto herself. We can’t control her,” Mateo laughed.
“Hey, everyone,” Faith called from the back door. Courtney and Lisa followed behind.
“Faith, hey, come and meet my friend Chelsea.”
“Oh hi, nice to meet you,” Faith smiled.
“You too,” Chelsea replied.
“What’s for dinner? I’m starved,” Liam bellowed from the stairs.
“Christ, it’s busy here, isn’t it?” Chelsea laughed, but Carmen picked up on the insincerity. She was pissed that she had to share Molly.
“Just how it should be,” Carmen laughed. Then, for some reason, she shot a wink at Molly. A wink. What the hell was that about? Oh, you’re provoking Chelsea because you’re a jealous ass!
“Hey,” Mateo interjected, “How about we have a party? With us leaving soon, I think we should have a proper sendoff.”
“Yes,” Enid shouted from the front porch. “Let’s do that!”
“Um, could I talk to you both?” Faith asked, looking at Carmen and then Mateo.
“Sure, chica, what’s up?” Mateo asked, resting his forearm on Carmen’s shoulder.
“Um, could we go somewhere private?” Faith mumbled.
Carmen nodded and led the way outside. “What’s up?” she asked, even though she knew what Faith was about to say.
“Would, um… would you be okay if I came back to Seattle with you?”
Carmen didn’t get the chance to answer because Mateo squealed so loud she had to cover her ears. “Fuck, Hermano,” she growled. “You just startled every dog in a hundred-mile radius.”
“Oh my God, are you serious?” he continued, ignoring Carmen. “You want to come home with us?”
Faith was laughing. “Yes, if that’s okay?”
“That’s such a dumb question. Obviously, it’s okay. Oh my God, we are going to have so much fun.”
“Carmen?” Faith asked.
“You don’t need to ask. I told you earlier, you always have a home with us. But are you sure? What about Molly?”
“I’ve spoken to her and she knows it’s for the best. It’s where I feel I should be.”
“Okay, say no more.” Carmen and Mateo surrounded Faith in a hug. Looking over Faith’s shoulder, Carmen saw Molly watching them from the kitchen window. “Come here,” she mouthed. Molly looked like she was going to say no, but eventually she stepped outside and joined Faith and the Ruizes in an embrace. Suddenly, they were engulfed by more arms and bodies. Carmen laughed as Bessie, Lisa, and Courtney joined them.
“Hey, don’t leave me out,” Enid squawked as she rounded the corner from the front porch.
“Okay, let’s plan a party,” Mateo announced.
◆◆◆
To Carmen’s annoyance, Chelsea stuck around for the entire evening. Mateo was in full party planning mode. Carmen reigned him in several times, reminding him the guests weren’t his friends from home and he needed to keep it PG.
“So, everyone is okay for tomorrow night, right?” he asked the group. There was a general nod.
“I’ll nip to the store and pick up some stuff,” Bessie said.
“I’ll go,” Carmen interjected. “Actually, I’ll go now. It’s still open.” Carmen ignored Mateo’s pointed stare.
“Oh, I’ll come too,” Molly said, surprising Carmen. Chelsea looked super pissed.
“Sure, let’s go. Have we got a list to stick to? I don’t want you throwing a fit when we get back.”
“Oh, Hermana, you know me so well,” Mateo smiled. “It’s here. Don’t forget the liquor. Once the rugrats are in bed, we’re getting it on.”
Carmen rolled her eyes. Enid clapped and pumped her fist in the air. “Let’s go,” she whispered to Molly.
They spent the first few minutes in silence as Carmen navigated the winding roads. Why did it feel awkward between them? Oh, maybe because you were seconds and millimeters away from kissing her!
“Chelsea seems nice.” Why was she bringing Chelsea into it?
“Yeah, she’s cool.”
“Sorry about Enid.”
“It’s not your fault she has zero filter,” Molly laughed.
“Still, you looked really embarrassed.”
Molly chewed her bottom lip. “We… we have an arrangement,” Molly began.
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” Carmen replied quickly. She did not want to have this conversation, ever!
“I know. It’s just, I think Chelsea wants it to be more.”
“Well, yeah,” Carmen laughed sarcastically. Wincing at her outburst, she side-eyed Molly. “Sorry. It’s just, she made it obvious she wants to be more.”
“Yeah, I’ve told her it’s not going to happen.”
“Why not? You seem to get on.”
“She doesn’t give me the fuzzies.”
“The fuzzies,” Carmen chuckled.
“Hey, don’t laugh at me,” Molly grinned, jabbing Carmen in the ribs.
“No, not laughing, I swear,” Carmen smiled.
“I… I just don’t want to settle for less than love, you know. It takes something from you every time you give your heart to the wrong person, and I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep doing that.”
“You’re strong enough for anything, Molly Parsons. But I understand.” Carmen completely understood. She’d never given anyone her heart. Well, Mateo had it and now Faith, but that was different. The thought of making herself vulnerable with a woman scared the living shit out of her. For a long time, she convinced herself that she didn’t need that kind of connection. Sex was good enough. But her perspective and outlook on life were changing.
