Mary Ann Sate, Imbecile, page 32
There is Nettie waving a pan at me
Sudden I know I cannot enter that room
Cannot stand there and make the supper
Tis beyond what I can abear
So I walk in and say
Nettie you must get the supper yrself
I have important affairs to attend to
I walk out again cross the yard
Going to find the only person
Who I know will help
Ambrose has only just finishd his supper
Still he steps out with me
We go to stand by the pump
Where we have oft stood afore
At least standing here
I can appear to be drawing water
If anyone asks
I do not need to tell the story much to he
He already knows all and more
What can she do I say
Who will bring these lies to an end
Ambrose you must know
Who I must speak to
I want him to be part of my anger
Yet he only shakes his head
I think Mary Ann there is little you can do
Yet she cannot marry he
Ambrose shrugs and raises his eyebrows
No no she cannot do it I say
What is said is not true
It matters not now what is true and what not
Ambrose say
You know Mary Ann
How this does go
This is now the story told gainst her
He will be believd she will not
Tis true many know Master Neds true metal
Yet there are also plenty drawn by he
He has a way with he
You know it well
Many at the mill simple desperd
He has a talent for sending words
True as an arrow straight to the heart
He spin a net catch them in
Such is my anger I am near to shout at he
So you think this is right
No I do not think it right
But Mary Ann she is but a chit
A pretty chit and clever
Aye too clever for her own good
She thinks to make her own rules
Yet that she cannot do
Now she has but two choice
Either she marry him to save her honour
Or she journey far away from the Valleys
Far enough people do not hear whisper
Of the stain upon her
No I say No She cannot go away
Ambrose looks straight shakes his head
You I say You you
How you usd to talk about a new world
Promotd now to such a high position
Perhaps you do forget
You think what happens here
Is right
I do not think it right Mary Ann he say
When new worlds come
Matters will not be organizd this way
Will not be such as powerless as she
Yet I am not talking of new worlds
Am talking of the strife ridden tarnishd world
In which we poor souls are condemnd to live now
He is a gentlemans son
He says those words with contempt
She is but a cheap girl as works in the mill
With no connections no name
I am shouting now
Do you think Tell me this
Do you think what is said of her is true
Ambrose rolls his eyes a little thinks on this
I would like to smash his head
I think says he she has been unwise
She is a fair and well made girl
Knows how to use all that to her advantage
He lays then his hands on my shoulders
Which he must well do
For my feet near lift off the ground
Such is my wrath
Yet since you ask me No No
I do not think that of her
Deep inside she is Christian and moral
Yet of what importance is this now
She ought to marry when she first come here
Instead of stirring up the men as she has done
No tis not her fault
She does not deserve this
Yet why do we speak of this
She is undone that is all
My anger now gives way to tears
I may not abear what he says
I cannot stand tis true
Do you not care I say
Do you find no sadness in yr heart
For a long time he says nothing
I turn away ready to go back to the house
Then I feel his hand on my shoulder
Mary Ann he says
I know she is yr friend
I know you love her
I am sorry deeply sorry
It has come to this
If I could make the world other than what tis
Could I help you I would
You know that
I cannot turn to look at he but put my hand up
Lay it for a moment ovr his hand
The weight of which still rests on my shoulder
Then his hand slides away
I walk back to the house
Without looking back
I do not want to go in the kitchen
Yet where else can I go
I know what will happen there
Nettie will laugh and rock and cough
She will say something about
How no good will come of all that blond hair
How Lucetta is a scurry lass
Who gets what she deserve
This is what I expect
Yet when I walk in the door Nettie is silent
She does not ask me do this do that
So I sit down at the table
Sink my head down on the boards
Around me I hear her
The pans clatter the ladles bang
The door of the range slams
Boots kick gainst the back of a chair
I no a ways thought she to share my anger
But she does and more
Together we could blow kitchen to sticks
Such is the storm of our rage
Finally she say Go you to Mr Birch Nazareth
See what he may say
So I goes back cross the yard again
Knock on the door Mr Birch Nazareths cottage
Up above me I know is Lucetta
Take a long minute afore he open
Stares at me as though he barely know me
Please Mr Birch Nazareth I say
I must speak again to Lucetta
No Mary Ann he say shake his head firm
I know you mean well
But she must stay where she is confind
May not see you or anyone else
He sees then the anger and sorrow in my face
I am v sorry say he
You must believe me I try to do what is best
Now go you back and say no more of it
Lucetta now must travel the route
She map out for herself
I stare him straight in the eye
Brimming again with anger
How can he say what is best
What route she map when she does naught
I turn away without saying good night
Go then back to the kitchen
Nettie does not ask for she knows
Together we get the supper done
As we must
That night I hear Lucetta
As I lie abed eyes gazing wide
Rage still ramping in my blood
First tis a gentle tap
At the bottom of the ladder
Then the whispering hook of the voice
Mary Ann Mary Ann
In haste I pull myself up and climb out
Little thought to Nettie
Sleeps like a heap of stone
Come quick to the top of the ladder
Below I see the moon of her face
Hanging there in the darkness
Quick she says Get clothes come down
I have need of you
Afore the hand of the clock move one jolt
I have my clothes on carry my boots in my hand
Come silent down the steps
Already she has gone on
Is half way toward the kitchen
I follow place foot gentle
Mr Harland Cottrell will not wake
Yet Master Ned is in the house and might
Lucetta is holding my coat and a warm shawl
Tis only then I notice the cloth bag
As makes a small pile by the door
Tis hers
No No I say No I will not No
Mary Ann she say Please We cannot talk here
Come come pulling out the lane
Carrying that bag with her
Til we are clear of the house
But I will go no further
No No No I say
I must she says What choice do I have
Come Come Mary Ann she say
For I am weeping like a flowing stream
I will do v well
I shall go back to Oxfordshire
To the school where I usd to be
The lady there knows me well
She will find a place for me
I shall be a Monitor
No No No I say
That word seems all can come from me
Mary Ann twill not be for long
I will write to you
Sometime we will meet
It can be done
No I say No No
You must take me with you now I say
Twill take but a moment
Let me gather my clothes
No Mary Ann No
It cannot be You know that
Of course I would want that
Yet I shall struggle to find a place for myself
I cannot find one for you as well
I shall send word as I see a way
Mary Ann come now find courage
Tis not so bad
We shall meet again
I shall make sure of it
But please please help me now
I cannot carry this bag so far
We must leave now for the cart does depart
At cock crow and we must get up the hill
Tis well the other side of Stroud
Help me now please I beg of you
So I calm my tears string the bag tween
She one handle I tother
We set out stumbling hard
For the moon is lost
The stars shade
Not a sign of the dawn
I remember it always
That dark and drear night
Our footsteps splashing and stumbling
A fine rain sprinkle ovr us
Til it gather and run
On face and hands
The bag swinging tween us
She not stopping for any reason
The rhythm of her steps firm and true
So I go with her
All along the way past the silent mills
Even the babble of the stream blunt
Hardly the shuffle of a hoof
As we pass stables and barns
Even at this hour distant bang of fulling stock
Comes at first to the hill leads to the town
Yet Lucetta takes hold the bag more firmly says
We not go that way We might be seed
Tis true for in this all unbalancd time
The watch is always ready
Constables pace the streets
So turn along the Slad Brook round the back
Taking then the new road
Passing that Little Mill
Where I was but days afore
A coming around the back of Church House
All the gardens there
Seeing beside us the church spire
The mass of the buildings round
Yet going on the hill painful sharp
Our boots sliding our hands numb
For it were cold though zummer
Finally we come to the ridge and see below
The Valley of Stroudwater where runs the Frome
The many trees mass down in the green depths
This the Valley I did see in childhood
As Ambrose and I playd high up
Near the Drybrook cottages
But a few fields from The Heavens
Yet this is not all for first we must down
Then steep up again
No time to spare for the first grey light
Bloom now on the distant high horizon
So steep you must huff and puff and pull
The bag dragging us back sweat rising
I have walkd it afore but only in the light
Then into the trees and up the final pitch
Long long I would stop and catch my breath
Yet she goes on though the handles of bag dig
Our legs heavy complaining sore
Come finally to the white iron gates of this
Mount Vernon I know it now
Yet at the time twas nothing to me
Just a coach house ahead but the house itself
Hid down the curve of the track
Cross the new yeller road
On on til finally we come out on the roof
Where the land flatten are many quarries
They dig stones for the roads
This be a place well knowd for bandits
Thieves ghosts and evil spirits
Yet Lucetta care naught for that
She has told me many a time
That such spirits do not exist
Are but for ignorant people
So she say yet I am not so sure
Seeing my fear and weariness
She does quote me then from those sermons
We did so oft read together
That we stay here only one days abode
Our age no longer than a flie
So we look somewhere else for an abiding city
Another country in which we fix our house
Then she does lay a hand gentle on my arm
Not more than another mile Mary Ann she say
I do not want to arrive
I want to walk forevr with her here
As the dawn breaks light rolling in
Come far from the distant horizon
Touch some more distant peak
The air giving up the darkness
The shapes of bush and tree
Drawn black and clear now
The road ahead unravel
Like a spool of canary thread
Taking me always away
So we walk high road on and on
My heart is crying out within me
As finally we come to the Bear of Rodborough
This is that same inn
Where I did come first in this country
I have heard spokd of but never seed again
In this long time
Others now are gatherd near the inn
Lucetta is afeard to go too close
For someone might recognize
Refuse to let her go
Most of these others wait the coach
Yet Lucetta has not money for that
Instead she will take the fish cart
As comes this way just afore the coach
This she know for tis the way
She first came here three years afore
Those three years the blessd of my heart
I am praying the cart might not come
Or that twill be long delayd
I might yet climb aboard with her
Yet we hardly arrivd afore the distant
Rhythm of hooves heard along the yeller road
Some stand back at this time
As the smell of fish is sharp
But Lucetta waves out her hand
Cart does come rolling to stop
Horse blowing harness champing
Perhaps I think the man might want
To stop for a glass of ale a slice of bread
That will take a while
But no such mercy is
I am weeping again shaking now
Yet Lucetta catches hold of me grips me tight
Courage Mary Ann Courage
We are sisters so we shall never be partd
This is but a brief separation
When I have a new position
I shall have some money
When a holiday comes
Trust you in the Lord with all yr heart
Lean not on yr own understanding
Now now do not cry so
I will write you
Please now do not make me leave you so
When she says I take a pull upon myself
She suffers too I must not make worst
So I cease my crying say farewell
Godspeed Good luck I wish you well
You shall make a fine teacher
We shall meet again soon
So I say as we kiss again
Then the carter says
Come come now lasses adry yr tears
He a merry facd man in a staind apron
With bristles come out his ears
Throws up her bag
She soon to follow
Put up on the back
Out the way of the dripping fish
Lies shiny under loose tied sheet
