Can't Take My Eyes Off You, page 26
‘What’s up?’ I ask.
‘Excuse me?’ she says like she’s no idea why I’m now standing at her desk.
I laugh. ‘I feel like you’ve got something to say. Let’s hear it.’
She sighs heavily, as if she’s been caught and now the truth must be told. For a second she continues working, a book in one hand, her eyes on the computer in front of her until she finally sets the book on the stack and turns to me with a straight face.
‘Is this all for real? Or is it an act to make yourself feel better before you disappear and become the next Bachelor? ’Cause that’ll kill her, you know that, right? The girl has been desperately in love with you since high school and no matter what kind of idiot you act like, it never goes away and she’s tried.’
‘I’m serious as a heart attack, Liv.’
She clearly doesn’t believe me.
‘Can I trust you?’ I ask.
‘Duh,’ she says with a roll of her eyes.
‘I bought a ring.’
Slowly, her jaw drops. ‘As in a diamond?’ Her gaze never leaves mine.
I nod. ‘A big one. From a store famous for their little blue boxes.’
‘Santa mierda, pequeño diablo furtivo.’ The way she rattles off her initial thoughts in Spanish cracks me up because she knows only one of us in this store speaks it fluently and it’s not any of us Adlers or Kaines. ‘Then you plan to keep your previously agreed-upon life plans?’
‘I’ve always wanted to keep those plans. I just got caught up in myself for a while.’
‘If you’re hoping I’ll tell you you’re not an idiot, you’ve come to the wrong girl.’
I chuckle. ‘Not what I’m fishing for. We agreed to move in together, as boyfriend and girlfriend. That’s huge. There’s just one problem.’
‘What?’ she asks with worry.
‘We go on our start-over date tonight and I’m hoping to make her my fiancée as opposed to my girlfriend. Too soon?’
‘Too soon?’ She bursts out a laugh. ‘You’re nearly three years too late, dumbass.’
‘We on a break?’ Gunner asks, entering Liv’s section, a sandwich in his hand. ‘Or is this the gossip section now?’
‘Gossip,’ Liv says, zero hesitation. ‘They’re moving in together and Will’s going to ask Berkley to marry him, tonight.’
I cock my head, a little annoyed. ‘I just asked if I could trust you and two minutes later you blurt my secret out to someone.’
‘If you didn’t want anyone to know, you should have led with that. Gunner is a part of the secrets club. He knows everything.’
He’s now staring at me while eating his sandwich. ‘Really? You’re going to propose?’
I nod. I know Gunner. Not super well, but enough to know he genuinely has Berkley’s best interests at heart. He’s also a tad protective over both these women he spends his days with.
‘Please tell me you’re not thinking of doing it on camera in the middle of a soccer field? I didn’t get great feedback with that one,’ he says.
‘No,’ I say with a laugh. ‘I actually know her.’
Gun wipes a hand on his jeans then extends it my way. ‘Considering you’re the only man she’s ever truly wanted, congratulations.’
I take his hand, feeling almost giddy inside. Congratulations on my hopeful upcoming engagement. My chest bubbles with excitement. I’ve never had this feeling. Not on the show. Not over money. Not even over my ex-BFF Jack Daniel’s. Only Berkley does this to me.
‘This is a secrets circle, right?’ I ask.
The two of them nod. ‘Well, pillow talk has informed me that you two are into one another as more than just friends and co-workers. Maybe you two should finally have that conversation?’ As the words leave my lips, I’m backing away from Liv’s desk, leaving them alone.
Her jaw drops and her glare is meant to drop me dead, but Gunner’s eyes are on her and the goofy grin on his face as he attempts to act casual and eat his lunch says Berkley’s not wrong. Maybe they just needed a push?
‘William.’ Almost as soon as I’m back at the front counter, my father – or rather the man who probably is not my father – approaches me slowly. I say nothing, just straighten up the front counter, looking busy.
‘I overheard you talking to Olivia and Gunner.’
Fuck.
‘Did you really buy her an engagement ring?’
‘You’re the person whose opinion I want the least on this,’ I admit.
‘Fine. But I’ve been married thirty-plus years so I know a bit about the process.’
‘If we were looking for a marriage to influence us, it wouldn’t be yours.’
Dad nods, his head full of dark hair disheveled in a way it usually isn’t. He’s still wearing a suit, like he’s headed to work. I don’t think he has casual clothes as I’ve never seen him in anything besides slacks and dress shirts.
‘I realize you think you know everything but—’
‘I think no such thing,’ I say, cutting him off. ‘But I do know you don’t actually give a shit about anything I do. You’re toxic. I told you I want out of this family and I meant that. Especially knowing what I now know. The only reason you’re here is because Berkley doesn’t have the heart to let someone be homeless. Enjoy it, ’cause once I can convince her to kick you out, I don’t ever want to see you again.’
‘That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?’
‘Not really. I think it’s only fair you know I’m disappointed in you and literally only trying to save myself here.’
‘Because you had it so bad? You got everything you wanted in life. Had experiences most people never get.’
‘I did. The kind that leave you with lasting memories I’ll cherish forever, and then there are the experiences that have me questioning my existence and leaving me with scars so deep I don’t know how to heal them but am desperately trying.’
‘You’re hurt because I gave you a good life? That’s rich—’ His voice bellows through the store.
‘Stop. It. Jacob.’ Mom’s voice drowns his, as she suddenly is standing behind him, speaking loud enough that Mike pops out of Liv’s department to watch.
‘I thought you had a headache?’ Jacob asks her.
‘I lied,’ she says, like lying is just a normal thing in this family. No wonder I’m so fucked up. ‘Working in a bookstore isn’t my cup of tea. I’m above this.’
‘You’re above this?’ I laugh. ‘You might want to rethink that considering the Feds are possibly going to be throwing you both into the slammer, you’re that corrupt. You think working in a bookstore will be worse than working in the kitchen at a federal prison?’
‘Nobody is going to prison,’ Mom says with a roll of her eyes.
‘It’s Teddy,’ Mike says loudly, from where he stands across the room.
‘Michael!’ Mom scolds.
‘Oh, please,’ he says with an attitude he’s never had with our parents. ‘He’s not five. It wasn’t that hard a case to crack and this affects his life. He deserves to know.’
‘Teddy?’ I ask, my heart stalled in my chest. ‘As in dead Uncle Teddy?’
Based on the seething look now filling Jacob’s face (I’m no longer calling him Dad), I’d say Mike guessed correctly. I look at my mom, attempting to hide the horror but unsuccessfully, based on the guilt now spreading across her face.
Teddy is my dad? I mean, I guess it makes sense considering I look just like him but I thought that was just genetics. Jacob hated Teddy. With a passion I never understood because even though I barely knew him, he seemed like a stand-up guy. He was the Sean Penn of the Adler family, using his money for humanitarian causes, a real philanthropist running into war zones and unsafe countries to help people suffering. He died in a helicopter crash when I was ten during one of these trips. It was my first experience with death and considering I only knew what Jacob had told me about Teddy – none of it good – I was unfazed, really. Until right this second, I never understood why Sylvia dressed me up and snuck me out of the house that day to bring me to his funeral. On the way there she’d said, ‘One day you’ll understand this.’ She had to have known the truth the whole time.
‘You had an affair with your husband’s little brother?’ I ask, a hand now firmly in my hair.
‘It was more complicated than that,’ Mom says.
Jesus. I just wanted to win back my girlfriend and now I’m fatherless, housing my asshole family in a bookstore, and shit’s constantly blowing up in my face. They are ruining this for Berkley and me, again. If they scare her away with their bullshit…
The two of them stare at me as I process this information, like I’m being unreasonable to want to know who my real father is.
‘Is Teddy my real dad?’ I ask my mom, completely ignoring Jacob. ‘Keep in mind I’ve got a DNA test at the lab so I will soon know whether you decide to be honest or not.’
Mom drops her head. ‘Yes.’
‘Holy shit…’ I walk away from the counter, my hands on the back of my head, the exact stance the cameras loved to find me in as it meant I was losing it and about to jump into a bottle of booze. This time, I’m wandering into the romance department, instead wishing this building was a fucking bar.
‘Hey!’ Berkley chirps as she enters the store, stopping in her tracks when she notices my family all standing at the front desk where she was probably expecting to see me. She looks around, noticing me as I disappear down an aisle of colorful books about love.
‘He knows,’ Mike tells her.
She doesn’t say anything, just approaches me and wraps her arms around me.
‘It’s Teddy,’ I say, holding her back, resting my chin on her head. ‘He’s my dad.’
‘Mike was right?’
‘You knew?’ I lean back, my hands on her shoulders, confused how she found out before me.
She grimaces. ‘Barely. Mike suggested it based off something your mom said earlier but we didn’t know for sure so I didn’t want to say anything yet. I should have, though. I’m sorry.’
‘Why are you sorry?’
‘I should have told you immediately; instead, I did exactly to you what I was always so mad you were doing to me – I kept it from you because I thought I was protecting you and now you’ve found out from someone else.’
She seems worried as she says this, like I’m going to be mad at her. Like it’ll start our years of fighting all over again. But I’ve done so much therapy. Is all this a shock to me? Like discovering Bigfoot is real, yes. I can’t be mad at her, though. I know I kept secrets from her because I knew that was best for me, not her. She’s never been like that and I’ve learned a huge lesson through all this. Open communication is the only way relationships survive.
I pull her to me again, kissing the top of her head. ‘Berkley, our relationship will never be perfect. We’re going to fuck up, piss each other off, annoy one another. It’s inevitable. I screwed up because I was thinking about me first before. But you are always thinking of me first, you last. I want to do the same for you now, so if we have things we think might hurt one another, whether it was done intentionally to spare the other’s feelings or accidentally, we need to talk about it. It won’t end us. I promise.’
‘You grew up on me, Adler. I was so scared you’d turned into Prince Willy for good, but you didn’t. I see my Will again, only now you’re a grown man and I like it.’
I’ve got to shove all this family crap aside and do what I came here to do. They can’t ruin this for her.
‘Wait until this grown man sweeps you off your feet on our date tonight,’ I say, hinting it’s going to be epic and having no doubt it will.
34
BERKLEY
I am on a date with Will. It’s been a long time since we did this. He’s holding my hand to his chest as he drives, occasionally lifting it to his lips. This is the Will I knew. He’s being sweet, romantic and so incredibly attentive.
‘Where are we headed?’ I ask as he pulls into a Goodwill parking lot.
‘One time when I was filming, you told me a story about one of your college interns going on a date where they had to choose one another’s outfits at the Goodwill and wear them for the entire night. You laughed the whole time you told me about it.’
‘That was so long ago. I can’t believe you remember. You seriously want to walk in here and walk out wearing used clothing? Who are you, and what have you done with my Will?’
He smiles wide. ‘I missed that,’ he says softly. ‘The “my Will” thing.’
‘Well, get used to it because we live together now and I don’t doubt I’m going to call you a lot of things. Most of them probably even nice…’ she kids.
He laughs, nodding his head like he’s completely alright with that. ‘I’m more than happy to wear used clothing if the outfit fits the rules of the night.’
‘Rules of the night?’ I ask, taking his hand as he helps me out of his SUV. ‘What might those be?’
He laces his fingers through mine, and it feel so normal. Yet also so new? I don’t know. All I do know is that I missed this. Him. All of it.
‘We’re going fancy schmancy. Top shelf. If it’s on a mannequin, check it out. You choose my outfit; I choose yours.’
I laugh out loud, following him through the front doors and into the store. ‘You might regret this.’
‘I hope I do,’ he says. ‘Meet back here in fifteen?’
‘Sure.’
With a single wink, he backs away from me into the women’s department. A few heads turn, one woman says his name, and he stops, casually chatting with her, now signing something she’s handing him, but he’s clearly on a mission.
I turn to the men’s section, my gaze landing on the perfect outfit almost immediately. He was right. Mannequins are where the good stuff is.
‘Hey,’ I say to a guy who works here. ‘I need that.’ I point to the two-piece suit I somehow just know will fit him. Navy plaid. Slim fit. I search the dress shirt racks for one of those ruffled-front seventies button-up shirts and find one that entices a laugh out of me. It’s grass-green, with white piping along the ruffles at the chest. It’s ridiculously perfect.
‘What’s your name?’ I ask the guy now lugging the mannequin from the display to the ground where I can strip this plastic man of his dignity.
‘My friends call me Big Jim.’
I look him over. He’s only a couple inches taller than me. Huh. It must be one of those ironic nicknames.
‘Well, Big Jim.’ I toss the ruffled shirt over my shoulder. ‘We’re about to strip this guy nude together. How about you do his top? I’ll do his bottom.’
He nods.
‘Have you ever seen PDX Royals?’ I ask as we work, feeling like I need to fill the air with words.
‘My wife watches it. Likes that Willy character.’ He lifts a shoulder like he could take him or leave him.
‘Then your wife will be thrilled to know that this suit will be gracing the world on Willy’s back in about ten minutes.’
Big Jim looks down at me as he peels the jacket over the headless mannequin’s arms. ‘You serious?’
‘Done,’ Will says from behind me as I literally yank the mannequin’s pants down to his knees.
‘Holy crap,’ Big Jim says, his gaze now lingering behind me.
I look over my shoulder, catching Will laughing at the sight of me, a coy grin on his face.
‘You’ve been gone five minutes,’ I say, standing to inspect the dress in his hands. Black, shiny, ruffly and short short. ‘Nineties prom night does it for ya?’
His eyebrows are raised as he stares at the nearly nude mannequin standing between Jim and me. ‘Steampunk does it for you?’ he asks as I drop back down to my knees to yank the pants off my new mannequin friend.
‘Fair point. Will, this is Big Jim; his wife’s a fan of yours.’
‘Oh yeah?’ Will asks, extending his hand to Jim.
Jim wipes his hands on his pants before taking Will’s hand, nodding his head silently.
‘You helped this weirdo choose this?’ Will asks.
‘Nooo,’ Jim says uncomfortably. ‘Just helped her undress him. She’s kind of bossy.’ He whispers that last part, but not quietly enough.
‘Jim.’ I say his name like I’m offended, earning a grin from the stout, serious man.
Will nods his head, glancing around the place like he’s about to tell Jim a secret. ‘I can’t take her anywhere. Look at her,’ he jokes, his eyes on me while my head is at this mannequin’s waistline, trying to yank the pants off him.
I burst out a laugh as Jim nods like he agrees.
‘We ready?’ Will asks as Jim hands me my newly acquired clothes.
‘Thank you, Jim,’ I say to him before walking away with Will. ‘Are we wearing these out?’
‘If you think I’m touching anything in those dressing rooms, you’re nuts. I brought Febreze and Lysol for the clothes, even. My car has dark windows. We’ll change in the back seat and no one will be the wiser.’
‘Yeah.’ I laugh. ‘That doesn’t sound like a dangerous idea.’
Will flashes me a smile as he hands the lady at the register his debit card. He looks totally handsome even in his T-shirt with the word ‘DORK’ across his chest.
‘Thirty-two bucks?’ he asks, laughing as she shoves the nicest clothes we could find into two used Walmart bags.
‘I think you may be a little too “rich boy” to make this your regular clothing store. I bet your underwear cost more than that,’ I say to him as I crawl into the back seat of his SUV.
He stands outside the car, Lysoling the hell out of everything we bought, tossing them in to me one by one, before getting in and closing the door behind him.
‘Are you sure nobody can see through the windows?’ I ask.
‘The only person looking at you right now is me.’ He winks, not wasting a moment stripping off his shirt and undoing his jeans, shoving them to his knees as I sit next to him.
I remove my shirt and throw it at him to make the playing field even, pulling off my jeans and tossing those his way too.
