Can't Take My Eyes Off You, page 16
‘OK…’ Lloyd drags out the word. ‘How high are you willing to go?’
‘Spend everything I have if you need to. I don’t care, just outbid my parents and keep my name out of it. I’ll get Berkley in there to put everything in her name when it’s over.’
‘Will do; I’ll give you a call when it’s done.’
I end the call. But my phone rings again, Cole’s name flashing on the screen. We’ve kept in touch because he’s more than just a producer of the show. We’ve become friends. I tap the speaker button.
‘Hey.’
‘You make it back?’
‘I did.’
‘Sounds like shit’s blowing at the Adler household. I just got calls from your brother and your mother,’ he says, irritation in his voice.
‘I’d say I’m surprised but…’
Cole is the head producer of Royals now. If he wants something to happen or not happen, he gets to make that call. He’s the great and powerful Oz that stands between my parents and the network, who’ve requested they no longer have a direct line of communication with them. A detail I’ve laughed over more than once. Apparently, they’re ‘aggressive’. Understatement of the year. Cole’s not enjoying his position since I walked off mid-scene, telling the whole room to fuck off and disappearing unexpectedly.
‘They’ve requested I lose all tapes of illegal shenanigans or anything that could further strain the family name,’ he says, clearly annoyed.
‘So, lose everything?’ I ask with a laugh. ‘Guess I should apologize to you now, as I’ve lit a fuse that could soon implode their world.’
‘You make my life complicated, Adler. Day one of your new life, and you toss in a live grenade. Sobriety has made you fearless. You call her yet?’
‘How am I supposed to call her? She’s had me blocked for ages.’
‘That’s right, you ass-face. I guess you’ll have to quit being a coward and go see her.’
‘I’m not a coward; I’ve been back less than twenty-four hours.’
‘Your timing is perfect because Bryce invited me to Sing! for Bianca and Berkley’s birthday tonight. Come by. I’ll text you the details.’
‘Will Alex be there?’
Cole laughs into the phone. ‘To my knowledge they’re casually dating again, so yes, I assume he’ll be there. Do you want to wait in the wings or would you rather fight for her?’
‘Just show up uninvited and crash her party?’
‘I’m invited – with a plus one. Wanna be my date?’ He laughs. ‘Come on, man, this is your circle of friends that I’ve been added onto only because of you. All I’m doing is inviting the guy that connects us all.’
I’ve spent the last few months figuring out how to fix what I’ve broken in me and thought that was scary – this is downright terrifying.
I could’ve stayed at rehab for any amount of time, but I chose three months because I didn’t want to rush through it and end up in a worse place down the road. Finally, I felt good enough to maintain my sobriety without being contained within a fancy rehab center. I know what makes me happy. I see what’s missing and I have a plan – sort of. No way will my being intimidated by her ‘casual’ boyfriend stop me.
‘Show up and move slowly,’ Cole suggests. ‘I won’t even tell anyone you’re coming. You know her better than anyone on the planet, Will; try not to forget that.’
I used to know her best. God, I hope I still do.
22
BERKLEY
‘Finally,’ Bianca says when Alex and I walk into Sing! ‘I thought you were never coming.’
‘That makes two of us,’ I say, irritation dripping from my tone as Alex makes his way across the bar to where Gunner is sitting.
‘What took you so long?’
‘Alex wanted to give me a birthday “gift” since I seem stressed lately.’ I drop my purse onto the table they’ve claimed. Balloon bouquets are placed along the center of the table, the number 25 in silver mylar balloons and lavender and periwinkle plain ones as fillers. My and Bianca’s favorite colors.
Bianca scrunches her face. ‘Seriously?’
‘Yep, but I give up. He just cannot figure it out, and it takes forever until finally I fake it and disappear to the bathroom for a quick “shower”.’
Bianca blows out a breath, glancing across the bar to where Alex is now laughing at something with Gunner, Bryce and Cole. ‘Does he know he’s bad at it or—’
‘Or.’ I cut her off. ‘Definitely or. I mean, how do you have that conversation?’
‘You don’t, you just dump him for good,’ she says like it’s no big deal. ‘Your mid-twenties are no time to settle for mediocre. This might be the best you ever look.’
‘Um, what?’
She smirks. ‘You should be having the best sex of your life at this age. You should want him. Your clothes should be throwing themselves off. Find the guy who does that for you.’
I let out the heaviest sigh in all of history. ‘What if you only get one of those guys in a lifetime, and mine was an idiot?’
She glances over with a frown. ‘Crap. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.’
I wave a hand like it’s not a big deal. ‘Forget I asked. That was one of those questions no one else was actually meant to hear. I don’t want to talk about it. Or him. Let’s just get hammered,’ I joke. Mostly.
The group of us do a round of shots. Bianca and I do two because it’s our birthday, and those are the rules.
Thirty minutes later, the tequila has successfully annihilated my inhibitions, and Bianca and I are on stage, belting out a rather terrible version of ‘I Will Survive’.
Midway through the song, it happens. The front door of the bar opens and my ‘idiot’ walks in. I stop singing mid-word, but Bianca keeps going. Music dances around the room until my mic drops to the floor with a thud that blasts through the speakers, startling the whole room.
Suddenly I’m in Medusa’s gaze, and Bianca follows my line of sight. He’s got everyone’s attention like a spotlight from heaven is shining down onto him, but his eyes are on me.
‘Holy Moses and burning bush,’ Olivia states.
He walks in slowly, his hands shoved into his jean pockets, glancing around nervously. Nervously? He’s Prince Willy of PDX Royals. I’ve never seen him nervous a day in his life.
Bianca steps off the stage, but I’m frozen as I try to figure out what the hell to do. Do I run? Hide? Cry? Homicide? Hug him? Ugh, my emotions are all over the place.
Cole, Bianca and Bryce greet him enthusiastically, leaving Olivia, Gunner and Alex stunned at the sidelines.
Olivia steps up to him, squaring up like they’re about to brawl.
‘Man,’ she says, her hands now on her hips. ‘You’ve got some big ole fucking bo-jangles to show your face here. Estúpido chico rico, polla en un palo.’ Her hand gestures drive it home as he steps back from her.
I don’t know what she’s just said, but it was undoubtedly a string of profanity-laced insults based on Gunner’s shocked face. He glances between her and me, grimacing. He points to himself then Will, silently asking if he should do something here.
They are the best friends ever. Both of them nurture that part of me they know still loves him, but when it comes down to it, the way he hurt me pisses them off enough to attempt to protect me in a moment like this where my brain has suddenly seized up.
I shake my head at Gunner, who breathes a sigh of relief. We all know he’s a lover, not a fighter.
‘Liv,’ Will says calmly.
‘Why are you here?! ’Cause it’s certainly not in response to an invitation,’ she snaps.
Cole lifts his beer. ‘Yeah, it is,’ he says guiltily. ‘Will’s my plus one.’ He glances my way, raising his shoulders like he’s silently apologizing.
‘You invited him?’ Alex asks. ‘Why?’
‘Isn’t a birthday party open to the birthday girls’ friends? Will and Berkley have been friends for over a decade.’
‘He relinquished that title,’ Olivia reminds him. ‘I study murder for a living, buddy. Don’t you dare think I won’t make you disappear if need be.’ She jabs a finger into his chest that he just takes, like he knows he deserves it.
Will’s gaze once again meanders to mine. His face is full of regret until a shy grin turns the corner of one side of his lips. When my feet are no longer made of concrete, I walk his way. Our mutual friends part like the Red Sea as I move through them.
‘I got this,’ I say to Olivia.
‘Sweets, I can—’
‘I don’t need saving, Alex. I can take care of myself.’ I hold a hand his way. Immediately he steps back, looking annoyed as he walks away towards the bar, Gunner following him.
Olivia takes to the stage behind me, attempting to turn the room’s attention. However, I feel like all eyes are still staring our way, so I decide to give things a moment to settle with his ‘Royal’ presence. I walk past him, knocking my shoulder into his bicep to get by even though there isn’t a crowd big enough to make that necessary. He sighs heavily as I continue to the bar.
‘Two tequila shots,’ I say to the bartender.
I feel Will walk up behind me. Even if I didn’t know he was here, I’d know he’s close. He sits on the barstool next to me as the bartender pours the shots. I grab both, finally turning to look him in the face, holding the glasses in the air between us.
He shakes his head. ‘I can’t, Berx, I—’
‘I wasn’t offering you one,’ I say, cutting him off and downing them back-to-back, slamming the glasses onto the bar top as I do.
His eyes follow the shot glasses.
‘I was saying a silent prayer to the tequila gods for help not to murder you in public. Word of warning, counting these two…’ I add up the shots I’ve done since I walked in here less than an hour ago. ‘I dunno, things are getting fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure I’m four or five shots in, plus a beer, so let’s cross our fingers, shall we?’ I cross fingers on both my hands, waving them in the air like a moron.
‘You’re four or five shots in?’ he asks, looking me up and down with worried eyes. ‘You never drink like that and you weigh nothing. You’ll be full tilt in minutes.’
‘A game you know well,’ I say snidely.
He rolls his eyes, nodding his head, a guilty smile on his still pretty face.
‘Why would you show up unannounced on my birthday?’ I ask, the words leaving my lips angrily.
‘I’m here for you, baby.’ His voice is all soft and gooey, like a chocolate chip cookie straight from the oven.
I was beginning to think my heart was a goner. Charred in the flames that were once William Adler. But nope, it clearly exists, and it’s definitely not beating correctly in his presence.
Pull yourself together, Berkley. If you’re about to die of a heart condition you didn’t know you had, at least tell him off first. He deserves that.
‘No,’ I say firmly. ‘Do not “baby” me, Adler.’
‘So, you hate me?’ he asks curiously.
I nod. ‘Hate. Loathe. Resent. With the venom of a thousand cobras.’
And hello, tequila. Oh, boy. It’s really setting in fast now.
‘That’s a lot,’ he says, nodding his head like he’s impressed. ‘I suppose I deserve that.’
‘You deserve to let me punch you in the junk, film it, then tag you on all the social media so your adoring fans can see what a lying, crap-wagon, douche-lord you really are.’
He cracks a smile, leaning forward, resting his elbows on the bar. He fidgets with a bracelet I don’t recognize around the wrist that doesn’t sport his thirty-thousand-dollar Rolex.
‘Did Danika give that to you? A token of her love to remember her while you come back to waffle stomp my heart?’
This time he laughs out loud.
‘Seriously?’ I ask, pissed he thinks this is a joke. ‘I’ll let Olivia murder you, and then I’ll help her bury your body. And I probably won’t mark your grave or visit.’
He wipes the smile off his face. ‘It’s not funny, Berx. I just…’ The way he looks at me makes my heart weak. If I’m not careful, it’ll start making decisions for me and not punish him the way I want. ‘I missed your fiery mouth, that’s all.’
I roll my eyes. ‘You never answered my question. Did Danika give you that?’
He looks at the bracelet in question before glancing at me with his brow furrowed, shaking his head. ‘Dani and I officially broke up a long time ago. We were never as serious as the show made it seem either.’
‘You’re single? No way.’
‘Why is that unbelievable?’
‘Uh, because you look like this.’ I motion my hands over him obnoxiously.
His smile grows until he’s again laughing to himself under his breath.
‘Your obvious amusement is pissing me off, Adler. Do not take those words as me telling you how fucking handsome you are. ’Cause it’s not. I mean, it kinda is, but it’s not. It’s complicated, OK? I’m just saying…’ I let out a frustrated sigh, unsure of what I’m trying to say. I didn’t expect to be this mad and completely heartbroken all at once.
‘You know, I rarely think of you anymore,’ I spout.
Lie. Stop talking, Berkley.
‘Or miss your stupid handsome face.’
Lie. Why are you still talking? Shut up!
‘The way you’d hold me…’
Fuck, uh, where ya going with this, Berx?
‘You always had the power to make me feel like everything’s somehow OK even when it wasn’t.’
Jesus criminy, I am bad at this making him pay game. As his gaze softens with my words, my speech gets slower as my heart takes over, taking complete advantage of my head going suddenly fuzzy. His face softens as he listens to me.
Ten minutes of me spouting nonsense his way and him protesting only a little, the room suddenly shifts under my feet. I reach out to stabilize myself with the bar top, but I grab Will’s forearm instead.
‘You alright?’ he asks, standing from his barstool, ready to either hold me up or help me to the bathroom. ‘What are we doing here, Berx?’ He’s clearly worried, judging by his tone.
‘Bathroom,’ I say, taking a single step towards the door a dozen feet from us before the floor drops out from underneath me.
Without saying a word, he reads the signs and whisks me into the ladies’ room, pushing into a stall, getting me there just in time. He’s kneeling behind me, gathering my hair into his hand while I humiliate myself and yak way more tequila than I remember drinking into the throne.
When it’s over, I sit back onto my heels, knocking him into the wall next to us, and fall into his lap. I rest my head on his shoulder, my forehead tucked into the hollow of his neck.
‘If I could move, I would, but if I do, I’ll puke again, and I feel like I’ve embarrassed myself about as much as I’m willing to tonight.’
‘You don’t need to move anywhere. This is the only place I want to be.’
‘Since. When?’
‘I needed to become the man you deserve, Berx. I’d lost him.’
‘The man I deserve. Could you have taken longer? Now look at the mess you’ve caused.’
‘I take full responsibility. That’s why I’m here, to fix things.’
I notice ink on his left inner forearm as his hand rests on my knee. I’ve wondered about this for months. I grab his hand, lifting his arm to read it.
‘This is… my name?’ I run my fingers over the scrolling ink, tracing the black letters. This is my name.
‘I know they say tattooing someone’s name is a bad decision but you’re sitting in my lap right now after not seeing you in what feels like forever. So, I call bullshit on that.’
‘Why would you do this?’
He adjusts himself underneath me, careful he doesn’t jostle me too much, his hand coming to a rest on my lower back, encouraging me to lean into him. This is the first time I’ve felt like I could relax into someone in a long time.
‘I wanted you to know I’m yours.’
‘You’re mine?’ I’m so confused. ‘I hope you know I’m going to have a lot to say about this when I can think straight.’
‘Honestly, I’m looking forward to it.’ I can hear the smirk on his face.
‘You’re looking forward to fighting with me later?’
‘Fighting is talking. I’d be more worried if you had nothing to say. I’ve messed up a lot, Berx. For years. When we’d fight, I’d get scared I’d never see you again, so I took whatever I could.’
We’re silent for a few moments while I think about this.
‘Took whatever you could and only gave back the minimum required of you. You’re kind of a selfish bastard for that.’
‘I am and I apologize, sincerely. I loved you selfishly for too long.’
‘What is happening?’ I ask. ‘You’re taking responsibility? Not blaming your parents, your asshole friends, or whatever stupid fucking contract you’ve signed?’
‘I and I alone fucked this up. I’m taking responsibility for all of it.’
I don’t know what to say to that. Suddenly, I heave. That seems right. I lean towards the toilet until it passes, then I relax back into him. Why must he feel like home even while we sit on the floor of a public bathroom stall?
He hesitantly takes my hand in his, the pad of his thumb grazing over my skin repeatedly, distracting me and giving my head somewhere to be beside the toilet bowl. Listening to his heart beating is somehow comforting and I want to sit here all night and just listen to him exist.
‘I’m about to say something my sober self might regret.’ The words tumble out of my mouth without any thought at all.
‘Alright.’
‘I missed you so much.’ And the words barely leave my lips before tears follow.
He leans his head into mine, wrapping his arms around me. ‘I missed you too. I’m sorry figuring out my shit took longer than I planned. I didn’t want to half-ass this. You deserve so much more from me than that.’
