We Hunt Monsters 14, page 63
“Business or personal?” the oxian asked, seeming a bit more lively as he was the final entrant of the night.
“Personal,” Keith said, pretending to be tired.
“Are you visiting anyone in particular or staying at an inn or hotel?” the guard asked.
“Staying at an inn.”
“Do you have any illegal substances on your person?” the guard asked. “Substances would include anything banned from System inventory, such as Oxbone Moonshine, Foxtail Featherlite, or Shimmerdust.”
“None,” Keith said.
The guard snorted, then stepped aside.
“There’s an inn just down Main Street, or if you’d like, there’s a larger hotel farther up the road near Butcher Bob’s. Enjoy your stay.”
“Wow, no threats or bribes,” Tac said as Keith strode into the city. “Why do I feel like this is a first?”
“Probably because more guards are corrupt in this world than not,” Keith replied, setting off down the darkened Main Street where there was still some bustle of people moving about.
There were lanterns on poles, illuminating the cobble-paved streets, though all of the storefronts were dark, having closed for the night, the only exceptions being the few bars he passed on his way to the location Astrid had given them. Given how exclusive this supposedly was, he had no doubts that they would be open at all times of the day or night. When it came to the wealthy or powerful – which was obviously who they were catering to – one always had to be on their best behavior.
“Looks a bit dingy and suspicious if you ask me,” Bob said as they peered down the alley. “I also can’t see a thing. Someone could be waiting for us in there.”
Even if the sun had been shining directly into the alley, Keith wouldn’t have been able to see it any clearer. Thanks to both his Darkvision and his prosthetic eyes, he had no problems whatsoever seeing the alley and the obvious illusion placed at the end. There was a light shimmer from the walls where the projection was taking place, but he could see the knocker placed at the center of the door as well as the spyhole and a dozen arrow slits. He could also see half a dozen spaces where magical cannons could be slotted in and a series of spaces where something – likely a wall or cage – could rise from the ground, trapping whoever was unwise enough to try barging in without permission.
Of course, the guards inside had to know how to discern between a busybody, a clueless nobody, a paying customer, and a hostile, and that took skill. He knew he was being watched from the moment he appeared at the alley’s entrance and could see the outlines of people behind the barricade. It didn’t block his sight, per se, but it did muddle it a bit, which spoke to the quality of the materials they were using simply to protect their front door.
Keith strode in without hesitation, Bob clinging tighter to his shoulder as he ignored the piles of artfully strewn trash, chunks of rotting wood, old scraps of clothes, and the convincing pile of feces to knock on the front door. His fist rang against the solid metal, and he waited for a few moments. Then the shimmer flickered and died in a single area as a slot was opened, revealing a pair of dark eyes.
“Do you have a reservation?”
The voice was deep and gruff but oddly polite. Clearly, the guards had judged that he wasn’t a threat, and if he knew to come here, he had to be someone in the know.
“I do not,” he replied. “My name is Keith. Astrid told me this was the place to come if I wanted a bit of time away.”
He briefly saw the eyes widen before the slot clanged shut. A moment later, the door opened, and a large oxian dressed in a suit of all things bowed him in.
“Welcome, honored sir,” the oxian said with a sweeping bow. “If you would please step inside, I would be most grateful.”
The door closed behind him, and Keith watched the oxian depress a small switch near the door, likely reactivating the illusion, before nodding to his colleague – a boarian dressed in a similar manner – before turning to Keith again.
“Please, follow me into the lobby, sir. I’m only one of the door guards, but I’m certain someone will be able to help you with your request.”
“Lead the way,” Keith said, allowing the oxian to open a second door – this one made of a very heavy-looking metal – and lead him inside.
The first room was small, not much more than a desk, a couple of chairs, and a viewing construct showing the alley and surroundings. He’d also spotted all the switches to activate the weaponry if needed. The corridor they were in was also there for security and showed no hints of luxury.
Cold metal walls with obvious traps and enchantments built into them were all he saw as they walked, taking several sharp corners before arriving at a second, heavy metal door.
The oxian banged on it a couple of times, another slot opened, and then it swung inward. The first corridor must have been well over a hundred yards long, and when he found himself in a second room, this one similar to the first with yet another door, he started to feel somewhat impressed.
Another guard – a mountain bearian this time – hauled the second door open, revealing another corridor that clearly sloped downward. However, instead of cold metal, the walls were wrapped in leather, and the floor was tiled in marble set with veins of gold.
“Feeling any guilt about going on a tropical retreat while your friends and allies are risking their lives on Monstros?” Tac asked, as they headed farther down.
“Did any of them kill two Spirits, stop the collapse of an entire continent’s infrastructure, confront The Glutton, kill multiple World Bosses, a terrifying M-tagged Section Boss, take on two Avatars, and an Inquisitor in the last couple of weeks?” Keith replied.
“Wow. Did we really do all that?”
“And then some,” Keith said. “If I haven’t earned a day or two off after that, I don’t think I ever will.”
The corridor turned, heading deeper still, and a pleasant scent filled the air, a mix of vanilla and spice. It was quite nice, especially to his sensitive nose. Even the oxian didn’t smell as bad as many of his kind usually did, and that was saying something.
The next door came after they’d descended some sixty feet below ground, the oxian guard knocking again. Another slot opened in the door, and the guard spoke.
“I’ve got a guest with me,” he said. “Six Star.”
The eyes widened once again, and the door was hastily opened to allow them through.
“I hope I have done my duty well, sir,” the oxian said, bowing at the waist as Keith stepped into an opulent waiting room. “If you would be so kind as to rate my service at check-in, I would be most appreciative.”
With that said, he turned smartly and walked back through the door, closing it behind him with a light thump.
The person who’d opened the door moved to the large wheel on the opposite side, spinning it several times until a heavy click echoed through the door as the locks engaged.
She – he was pretty sure it was a girl – looked like some kind of squirrel beast-monster, a large, bushy red tail poking through the back of her black suit, which matched the one the oxian was wearing. The style wasn’t exactly like the ones from back on Earth, as the coats were longer, dropping almost to the knees, though kept open to show ruffled white shirts with no collars and a piece of braided black rope tied in a bow around their necks.
The woman turned, giving him a dazzling smile and showing off a pair of larger-than-normal front teeth, cementing in his mind that she was some kind of squirrel. Given their height difference as well – she being only around four feet – it was his best bet without examining her status, which there was no need to, as there was a golden placard pinned to her lapel with her name on it.
“Welcome to Lush Hideaway,” Greenie said, her voice light and airy. “If you would please follow me, we can get you situated in a room and discuss what you would like out of your visit. Is this your first time with us?”
“Yes,” Keith said as he followed the squirrel woman through the waiting room.
There were several areas with seating, polished, plush, and tasteful chairs set up in clusters around small tables. Some were roped off, and Keith even saw some other guests sitting around one of these tables with another beast-monster in a similar suit.
Apparently, he wasn’t going to be sitting out in the waiting room, as Greenie led him to the side of the long, arching counter, pulling a curtain aside to reveal another corridor, this one lined in green marble with quilted, leather-wrapped walls and containing various pieces of art he was sure were worth a fortune.
There were only two doors in this corridor, one on either wall, and Greenie opened the one to her left, pulling a small plaque from the side of the door and flipping it over, showing the darker side – likely to indicate the space was occupied.
“After you, sir,” she said with a slight bow.
Keith walked into the space – he’d been purposefully not looking through any of the walls with his prosthetics since entering – so he was quite impressed at what he saw as he stepped inside.
“Wow,” Tac whistled, as Greenie entered the room behind him and secured the door. “Now this is what I call living the high life! It makes that fancy inn you liked staying at in Lihng City look like a dump!”
Much as he hated to admit it, Tac was right. He’d seen a lot of luxury since coming to this world, especially as he started gaining power and money. This place put them all to shame, and if this was just the waiting room to get him checked in, he could hardly wait to see what they had in store for him.
94
The private room – because that literally was what it was – was basically a hotel room, complete with a bar, kitchen, a small table, and a couple of small couches. There was also a bed tucked into one corner and a second door he was certain would lead him into a bathroom.
It wasn’t just the fact that it contained all these things, though. After all, his own bunker had many of the same and contained quite the luxury in and of itself. It was the materials used, how everything was laid out. The lighting. The scents. Everything blended together to feel both luxurious and welcoming at the same time, which, in his experience, was a very hard thing to pull off.
“Please, make yourself comfortable,” Greenie said, moving to the bar area. “Take a seat wherever you’d like.”
She ducked behind for a moment, coming up with a few very expensive-looking bottles. One might have expected them to be covered in dust, but everything in here was perfectly crisp and clean. A tray of crystal glasses, a gold tray, and some chips of ice were brought over to where he’d sat, sinking into the single most comfortable armchair he’d ever experienced in his entire life. It seemed to mold itself to his body, supporting him in all the right places.
Bob hopped to the chair next to him as Greenie set the tray down, then returned to the kitchen area, fetching another tray of snacks. Fresh-baked rolls, pastries, and sweets, all presented and beautifully arranged. She set them all down in front of him, setting a spoon and fork down as well, before moving to one of the bottles.
“What sort of drink would you like to start with?” she asked. “We can make anything you’d like, alcoholic or not. We have the widest selection of available options on this or any continent.”
“Astrid really wasn’t kidding when she sent me here,” Keith joked. “Something non-alcoholic, please. It’s been a while since I’ve had anything mixed. What would you recommend?”
“Do you prefer sweet, savory, spiced, or something sharp or tart?” Greenie asked, instead of jumping right in.
“Sweet! Definitely sweet!” Bob said.
If she was surprised by the talking monkey, she didn’t show it.
“A mix of sweet and spiced,” Keith decided.
“Would you prefer a warm or cold drink?” she asked.
“Cold.”
“Heavy or light?”
“Somewhere in between, I think,” Keith said.
“Excellent choice,” Greenie said, as she began lifting bottles and pouring into a large crystal shaker.
Keith looked down at the array of snacks, wondering where to even start.
“What is this?” he asked, lifting a small plate with what looked to be a small pie, decorated with shards of something dark on the sides, some form of sauce, and dusted in sugar.
“That would be our Vanno Bean Pie in a silky sauce complemented by a hint of saffron and wild Rageberry,” Greenie answered.
Tac snorted in his mind at the ostentatious-sounding dessert. Considering it didn’t look to be larger than a single bite – maybe two if he were being generous – Keith could understand the sentiment. That all went out the window as soon as he tasted it. It reminded him a bit of a mix between vanilla cream and apple pie, but with a hint of spice that brought it together so well. There was the crunch from the shards on the sides – which turned out to be some form of crystalized sugar – and the hint of the saffron in the aftertaste.
By the time he was done, his drink was ready, Greenie pouring it out in a frosted glass and setting it down on the table in front of him.
“I’ll be back in just a moment, sir,” she said, taking all of the bottles and moving them back to the bar.
Keith lifted the drink and took a sip. It was delicious, just as he’d known it would be. He’d been smelling it while she was mixing it, a sweet, tingly mixture that was refreshing and invigorating all at the same time. He received a buff as he took another sip, and his eyebrows rose a bit farther.
Impressive indeed.
“Let me have a taste, come on,” Bob said, hopping up and down.
He’d already helped himself to a few of the fancy pastries and thankfully had kept himself – and the expensive carpet – clean.
“Help yourself,” Keith sighed, taking a second sip and leaving the rest for the monkey.
Despite the lack of alcohol, the drink still felt strong, and he didn’t think he wanted any more.
“The drink was delicious, thank you,” Keith said as Greenie returned, clutching a folded piece of stiff leather that looked somewhat like a menu from a restaurant.
“Only the best for our Six Star guests,” Greenie said, taking the seat opposite him and setting the menu down.
“Just out of curiosity,” Keith said. “Seeing as I’ve never been here before, what exactly is a Six Star guest? Is it the reason I’m in here while there are people waiting out there?” he asked, hooking a thumb in the direction of the waiting room.
“Yes, excuse me for not clarifying,” Greenie said. “We rate guests using stars, based on the levels of importance, but mainly needed security. Most wealthy clients, such as merchants and the like, only qualify as One Star guests, as their lives aren’t at risk. They just need some private time away, which we are happy to supply. Though we typically avoid speaking of funds, wealth does play a role here as well, as the wealthier clients expect more of us, which we are always happy to meet and exceed. Typical ratings for us run from One to Five Star guests for diplomats, nobility, owners of land, and important figures in general.
“As I’m sure you’ve noticed, you, good sir, rate higher. Six Star guests are in a class all their own, the type of clientele we do not typically see and ones who require…special treatment, shall we say. Either due to their importance in continental governments, global shipping, agriculture, physical power, or levels of needed security to ensure an enjoyable and relaxing stay.”
“I take it you know who I am, then,” Keith said.
“I do not, sir, nor will I ask,” Greenie said with a professional smile. “There are only ever two who know the identities of our guests, and those are the front gate guards. If you wish to tell me, you are more than welcome to, but we respect privacy above all else.”
“You can just call me Keith,” he said. “I haven’t taken any time off in a while, and while all of this is nice, being called ‘sir’ all the time is becoming tiring.”
“Of course, Keith, I will be happy to oblige,” Greenie said. “Now, do you have any other questions or requests before we begin?”
“No, I think that’s it,” Keith replied.
He now understood why Greenie had been so shocked when the oxian guard had called him a Six Star guest and why he was getting the royal treatment. He supposed people like Astrid probably also qualified, though he had to wonder how absurdly wealthy one had to be if rich merchants were only considered One Star guests.
Yes, Greenie had sugarcoated it by making it seem like it was all about security, but in reality, they all knew it was more than that. He could see it clearly at the forefront of her mind. This was about two things. Money and power. That was what qualified someone as a Six Star guest. Whether the oxian guard had recognized who he was or not, he’d mentioned Astrid by name, which meant that he was at the very least on first-name terms with the ruler of a third of the continent. Someone like that had to be either very wealthy, very powerful, or most likely both.
“Excellent,” Greenie said, as she flipped open the menu to show several options. “Firstly, how long do you plan on staying with us?”
“I would like to stay as long as possible,” Keith said. “But I may have to leave after a single day, depending on circumstances that may demand my attention.”
In his mind, a day was the bare minimum. He would really like four or five, but he knew he didn’t have that sort of time, not with how quickly things were developing, but if he could get three, he’d be very happy.
“Ideally, though, I’d like to stay for three. Is it alright to update on a day-by-day basis?”
“Of course,” Greenie said. “Though, for the sake of ease, we would collect our fee for all three days up front so as not to disturb your stay.”
“More like make sure you have the gold to cough up,” Tac snickered.
“Fine by me,” Keith said with a shrug.
“Excellent,” Greenie said, smile back in place. “Now the top six options on the menu are just basic, so we can ignore those.”
“Or in other words, less than they wanna squeeze you for,” Tac said.
