Say Something, page 14
“And your favourite holiday destination?”
Jessie looked up in the air. “Ooh that’s a tough one.”
“Come on, you must have been to that one special place that just blew your mind.”
“Okay, Fiji.”
Toni looked surprised. “Fiji? I thought you were going to say somewhere like Peru or something.” This was only because both women had been fascinated with the book Celestine Prophecy as teenagers and it was a dream of theirs to go and look at the old ruins.
“Have you been?” Jessie asked, interest showing in her eyes.
Toni nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, twice. I won’t spoil it for you but it was amazing!”
“I still have my sights set on going.”
“Maybe one day we’ll go together,” she said hopefully.
Jessie smiled but remained silent.
“Okay, favourite food?”
Jessie licked her lips. “Open chicken pie, but only the one my mum makes because she makes the pastry nice and flaky.” Jessie’s eyes dropped to Toni legs. “How are your legs feeling now?”
“Still a bit sore.” Toni couldn’t believe how unfit she was. Not that it should have surprised her. She barely did any exercise at all considering she was stuck either behind her desk all day or behind the steering wheel of her car.
“Come let’s get you inside, I’ll massage them for you.”
“Don’t be silly.”
Jessie pushed herself out of her seat. “Seriously it’s not a problem. I don’t want to be held responsible for you not being able to walk tomorrow.”
Toni attempted to get up by herself then fell back into her seat. “Well they are a bit stiff.”
Jessie held out her hand and pulled Toni up. She didn’t let go of her hand until they were in the yurt and Toni was easing herself onto the futon.
“Take your cut-downs off,” she instructed as she bent over her case and extracted a bottle of cream.
Toni did as she was told and lay face down on the futon wearing only a t-shirt and knickers. She watched as Jessie poured a generous amount of the cream onto her hand and slowly began to rub it onto her skin. Jessie’s hands felt confident and strong as she began to knead Toni’s calf muscles.
“Hmmm that feels great,” Toni groaned in pleasure. The tightness was easing but the feel of Jessie’s touch was causing bubbles of excitement to explode all over her body. She didn’t want her to stop touching her – ever.
“Are your muscles loosening up?”
“Mmmm.” She closed her eyes and relaxed against the cushions revelling in Jessie’s firm but gentle caresses.
“Really? I couldn’t tell. You’re so unresponsive,” Jessie teased. She paused for a moment to grab her beer and downed a mouthful.
Toni groaned again and wriggled her legs impatiently. “Hey,” Toni said, opening her eyes and craning her head around to see why Jessie had stopped. “I hope you’re not done yet.”
Jessie playfully slapped her leg. “Stop being such a slave driver. Turn over,” she said with a grin.
Toni sighed as she rolled onto her back and felt Jessie’s touch return to soothe her now dwindling aches. “You really do have amazing hands. Seriously, how much would I have to pay you to quit your job and be my personal masseuse?”
“Why pay when you can have it for free?”
Toni stayed silent as Jessie’s hands increased in pressure as they roamed up to her thigh. She groaned again, a different sound this time, full of the heat and need that Jessie’s touch had been stirring in her since she’d first laid her hands on her. Toni’s entire body felt like a live wire. Was Jessie aware of how much she was turning her on?
“Do you want me to continue?”
Jessie’s words broke into her haze. Through half-hooded eyes, she shook her head as she placed her hand over Jessie’s and guided it further up her body to rest on her breast. She saw a flicker of doubt in Jessie’s eyes as she opened her mouth to say something, then closed it as if having second thoughts.
Toni pressed her bottom lip between her teeth as she lowered her gaze onto Jessie’s mouth and then back to her eyes. She could feel herself getting lost in them as the atmosphere grew thick with electricity. She had to be sure that she was doing the right thing. If she messed up this time there would be no going back. The need to be close to Jessie again over rode any kind of sensibility. She wasn’t thinking straight. How could she expect to, with Jessie being so close? It wasn’t just about sex for her, it was more like a chance for both of them to bond again on an emotional level. She could feel the stiffness in Jessie’s hand still laying against her breast, but for some reason she hadn’t removed it. She could only imagine what they looked like, sitting there like two statues caught in a pose.
Toni held her breath, her stomach fluttering with butterflies. Had she acted too soon? Jessie’s silence was making her on edge. She squirmed slightly as she waited for Jessie’s rebuff. As if sensing her anxiety, Jessie’s hand relaxed, the doubt in her eyes now mirroring Toni’s own desire. Toni’s stomach tensed as Jessie leaned forward and with the tip of her tongue slowly traced the outline of her lips. Toni’s heart beat quickened as she let out an involuntary groan, her lips parted and Jessie’s tongue swept inside her mouth, its slow gentle caress setting Toni’s body aflame.
She could feel her nipples harden under her t-shirt and she shuddered as Jessie leaned back for a second, her eyes never leaving Toni’s, then reached down and pulled Toni’s t-shirt up over her head. Toni’s arms rippled with goose pimples as the cool air made contact with her naked skin. She drew in a long shaky breath as Jessie reached around her back and unhooked her bra in one swift movement, watching it with smouldering eyes as it fell to her waist. The embers of want ignited into a blazing inferno of need as Toni pulled Jessie down on top of her, crushing Jessie against her as she ran her hands up Jessie’s back. Yanking Jessie’s t-shirt up at the same time, the ache to feel Jessie’s skin against her own overwhelmed her senses. Jessie’s mouth swooped down on hers, her tongue hot and demanding as her hand moved between Toni’s thighs. The air seemed to leave her lungs as Jessie pushed her underwear aside and found her wetness. Toni’s nails dug into Jessie’s back as Jessie drove her fingers into her again and again, whilst Toni writhed and moaned beneath her.
“Take your clothes off,” Toni breathed as she locked eyes with Jessie and saw a blazing desire in them.
Jessie hesitantly pulled herself up, quickly removed her clothes and repositioned herself between Toni’s legs. She felt Jessie’s cheeks brush against her thigh as she dropped a trail of wet kisses down her leg. Toni’s ears were filled with the beating of her heart as Jessie’s dextrous tongue reached the contact point and an electric jolt shot through her body. The sensations that radiated from her pulsing core were almost enough to knock Toni off the futon, but she dug her fingers into the cushions and barely managed to hold on as Jessie doubled her oral efforts.
Hot, lurid moans from Jessie reached Toni’s ears as Jessie’s tongue expertly flicked and teased her enough to keep her on the edge, but not quite allowing her to cross the threshold. Finally, the searing involuntary tremors began to release themselves as Toni clamped her jaw shut to keep from screaming out like a wild cat. She was filled with a sense of completeness as she stretched out languidly while Jessie climbed up beside her.
“You haven’t changed,” Toni said, caressing her cheek.
Jessie broke out into a grin. “Neither have you.”
“Oh I don’t know. I think I’ve learnt a few new things since we were teenagers,” she said with a smile as she pushed Jessie onto her back and sealed her lips over her erect nipple. Slowly she switched from one to the other before her fingers drifted downward to caress Jessie’s swollen clitoris. Jessie groaned softly and widened her legs, encouraging Toni to enter her. Toni slipped her fingers into her slowly, feeling the muscles tighten around her as she used her thumb to rub against Jessie’s clitoris. She slowly moved downward, tantalising Jessie’s body with her tongue until she reached her destination. She wanted – needed to taste her. Still delving her fingers deep into Jessie, Toni flicked her tongue across Jessie’s inner lips – teasing her way to her pleasure point. Jessie groaned with desire as Toni finally made contact with her most sensitive spot. Toni felt the heat rising again between her own legs as she increased the rhythm in time with Jessie’s passionate gasps.
Within minutes Jessie arched her back and exploded beneath her touch.
Basking in the warm afterglow of their lovemaking, Jessie and Toni held one another in a close embrace as Toni’s heart continued to pound in her chest. They had found each other again – the past was behind them. Now was all that mattered.
“Wow,” Jessie said, a breathless laugh escaping her as she laced her fingers with Toni’s.
“Ha-ha, yeah,” Toni said with a giggle. “‘Wow’ is right.”
Chapter 25
“It’s your turn,” Toni laughed as she pulled the quilt off Jessie.
Jessie pulled the cover back over her. “I swear I put the log in last time.”
Toni pulled the quilt up again. “No I did. If I remember rightly, I’ve been up and down all night putting logs on the fire.”
“Okay, okay you win,” Jessie laughed as she slid naked from the bed and tiptoed to the wood burner and threw a log in.
“Can we stay here forever?” Toni asked, curling around Jessie’s body as she got back into bed. Toni loved the intimate contact of their naked skin. They had made love long into the night and each time she felt as if they were bonding even deeper. They had showered together and drank wine in front of the fire and so far had managed to not talk about the past.
Jessie peppered her shoulder with butterfly kisses, before flopping back against her pillow. “I wish we could.”
Toni turned to her and brushed Jessie’s hair away from her face then leaned inwards to nibble at her ear. “I feel as if I’m walking on a cloud.”
Jessie laughed as she launched her head forward. “Me too.”
Wrapping her arms around her neck she kissed her deeply before drawing away, her eyes never leaving Jessie’s face. “I’ve missed you so much. I didn’t fully realise how incomplete my life has been until now.”
“I’ve always known.”
Gently she stroked Jessie’s cheek. “I could get used to waking up with you in the morning.”
“There’s a space in my bed whenever you want it.”
Toni laughed. “Really?”
“Of course. You don’t think I’m going to let you get away from me again do you.”
“Not to mention you seemed pretty impressed with my moves last night.”
“You’ve definitely improved.”
“What are you trying to say; I was a crap shag as a teenager?”
“Would I?” she said nuzzling her face into Toni’s neck.
Toni didn’t want the day to end. “So do you want to come to my place tonight? We can have something to eat, watch a film or something.”
A lazy smile crept on to Jessie’s lips. “Or something?”
Toni pressed her body against Jessie’s suggestively. “Most definitely something.”
“So you cook as well, I am impressed.”
“I do but let’s get a take-away, then we can spend more time doing other things.”
Jessie leaned up on her elbow. “Fine with me?”
Toni reached over and kissed her.
“Now I want you to be honest with me: have you thought about work since we’ve been here?” Jessie said.
Toni looked thoughtful for a few seconds. “Non-stop. Only kidding. I forgot I even had a job.”
“See. There’s nothing better than spending time in nature.”
“Or with you,” she reminded her. “So what time do we have to check out of here?”
“We’ve still got a few more hours left.”
“Really. I wonder what we can do to fill the time.”
“Hmm, why don’t you join me under the covers and find out.”
***
Toni led Jessie into the living room of her loft style apartment. The place looked like someone had moved out in a hurry taking only the things they could physically carry. Left behind in the sizeable room was a large flat screen TV attached to the chimney breast, a slick black glossy coffee table and a black leather sofa which looked brand new – there were no indentions or signs of wear and tear anywhere. The walls were all painted white without one picture on any of them. Jessie felt a pang of sadness. There was no warmth in the place – it might as well have been a hotel room.
“I can see that you’re not that impressed with my humble abode,” Toni said, coming up behind her and pulling her into a hug.
“No, it’s not that. It’s a nice place, but—”
“But unlived in,” Toni finished for her. “I did warn you. If you think this room looks stark, wait until you see the rest of the place.”
“I could help you decorate if you like,” Jessie suggested hopefully.
“Nah. I like it like this. Come into the kitchen.”
Jessie followed her into the immaculate high end kitchen with white glossy units and a black granite work top. As beautiful as it was, it was too clinical for her liking. She watched as Toni headed to a drawer and pulled out a wad of papers.
Toni held the menus up in the air. “Okay we’ve got Chinese, Indian, Italian. So what do you fancy?”
Jessie sidled up beside her. “Do you need to ask?”
Toni kissed the tip of her nose. “We have to eat for energy I’m afraid.”
Jessie encircled Toni’s waist, enjoying the closeness between them. “You choose. What’s your favourite?”
“Italian, they do a nice deep fried brie for starters and pollo pasta.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“I’ll go and call them. Make yourself at home.”
Jessie reluctantly drew away from her and walked the short distance to the living room, going straight over to the window ledge which held a lone picture frame. The photo was of Toni and her late mother. She peered in closer, wondering how her mum died. Cancer? She was so young. She couldn’t have been much older than forty five. Toni hadn’t spoken in depth about her death and Jessie didn’t want to pry.
“Food will be here in forty minutes,” Toni said joining her. “Do you fancy a drink?”
“I’ll have a coffee please.”
“One coffee coming up.”
“Your appearance hasn’t changed at all you know,” Jessie said, nodding towards the picture.
Toni let out a sigh as she peered over her shoulder and wrapped her arms around Jessie’s waist. “That’s the last picture I had taken with my mum.”
“I’m so sorry Toni.”
“It’s okay, shit happens sometimes. What can we do?” she said matter-of-factly.
Jessie turned in her arms to face her. “How did your dad take her death? I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must have been for you both.”
Toni continued to stare at the photo seemingly a million miles away. Eventually she spoke with a catch in her voice. “I don’t know how he dealt with it and I don’t really care if I’m honest.” She turned around quickly and headed back to the kitchen. “The kettle should be boiled. I’ll go and make your coffee.”
Jessie watched Toni’s retreating back with her mouth wide open. What the hell was that about? Why is she so harsh about her poor dad? Jessie turned away from the photo, walked over to the sofa and took a seat.
When Toni brought the coffee back in she perched on the edge of the sofa. From the way she sat with her hands knotted on her lap Jessie knew something was wrong
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
Jessie edged along the sofa careful not to spill her coffee. “If you ever need to talk about anything you know I’m there for you right?”
Toni looked down at her and nodded.
“If you’d rather be alone...”
Toni quickly shook her head. “No, don’t be silly. I want you to stay. I just don’t really like talking about it all – it was a tough period of my life.”
“I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through. Wouldn’t things have been easier to deal with if you had the emotional support from your dad?”
Toni snorted. “Don’t make me laugh.”
Jessie placed her coffee on the table and enclosed Toni’s hands within her own. “What happened Toni? Was your dad not supportive when your mum was dying?”
Toni narrowed her eyes. “How do you think she died?”
“I just assumed it was cancer.”
Toni withdrew her hands from Jessie’s, stood up and kept talking as she crossed the floor to the kitchen. “If it was, maybe that would have been easier to cope with.”
“I’m confused, did she die in an accident?”
Toni disappeared behind the door and several seconds later came out carrying a bottle of Vodka and a glass. She stood in front of the chimney breast and poured herself a drink. “No, Jessie, she committed suicide and my so-called father was the reason why.”
Jessie froze, feeling a wave of nausea wash over her. Had Toni’s mum been trapped in that same dark, black hole she had been in? The memory of being so lost and afraid, that dying seemed like the only answer hit her like a blow to the head. Jessie knew a lot of people thought suicide was for the weak minded – but they obviously hadn’t experienced going to the edge, where you just didn’t have the mental energy to hold on anymore. Sometimes it took a lot of strength to just let go.
Toni stood motionless, staring straight ahead as if in a world of her own.
Jessie tried to form words, to offer comfort, anything, but nothing came to mind. She remained rooted to her seat, her eyes directed towards Toni. Toni couldn’t have been more than eighteen in the photo. Who’d cared for her? Supported her? Before the words left the her mouth she knew how meaningless they were. “Toni, I don’t know what to say.”
Toni smiled weakly. “There’s nothing to say. It’s over, done with.”
