Say Something, page 13
“Yeah, maybe,” Toni said, feeling the urge to change the subject. “So tell me where you’re planning on taking me, I’m intrigued.”
“Nope. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Spoil sport.”
“Drink up. I thought we’re meant to be celebrating.”
“We most definitely are.”
It wasn’t just the fact that she had finally made a stand against someone in her life that she felt so happy. It was because Jessie had given her a second chance and she was going to make sure this time she didn’t blow it.
Chapter 23
“You’re doing what?” Michelle spluttered her coffee over her lap, causing a freckle-faced young woman on the table beside them to stop tapping on her computer and glare at her with disgust. “What?” Michelle challenged the woman, before bending her head as she dabbed at her now stained skirt with a napkin. The woman, dressed in light blue sleeveless dress snorted and looked away with a shake of her head.
Michelle looked at Toni and with a slightly raised voice said, “Instead of coming here we should have gone to McDonalds; at least there wouldn’t be any snobs there.”
The woman snapped shut the lid on her computer, rose to her feet and without a word walked off in the direction of the exit. Toni watched the woman’s retreating back until she disappeared through the door.
“Now look what you’ve done. Poor woman.”
“Rude woman, you mean,” Michelle said throwing the coffee-stained tissue onto the table. “Now what were you saying?”
“I’m going away with Jessie for the weekend.”
Michelle pushed her sunglasses back onto her head. “That’s brilliant news. I’m so happy for you Toni.”
“We’re not getting engaged, Michelle.”
“Not yet anyway,” she said taking the lid off her drink and taking a gulp. “So where are you guys heading?”
“I don’t know, she won’t tell me.” Trying to get that piece of information out of Jessie was like finding a water fountain in the middle of the desert. She had always been good at secrets. Maybe too good.
“Oh that’s so romantic. She’s a woman after my own heart. I wonder if she’s booked you separate rooms. Oh my God, what if she’s booked a double room and it has a king-size four poster bed, silky sheets...”
A baldish man sitting behind Michelle caught Toni’s eye and winked. She flashed him a quick smile and turned her attention back to Michelle.
“Calm down, Michelle. Bloody hell, you sound like you’re envisioning a scene from one of Barbara Cartland’s books.”
Michelle waved a hand dismissively. “So what if I am. I don’t think you realise how lucky you are. Not everybody finds that one true love. Look at me: nearly thirty years old and in all that time I’ve had one shitty relationship with a bloke who is now going out with a girl young enough to be his daughter.” Michelle looked at her sadly. “No, love doesn’t come easily to everyone and the fact you found each other the way you did makes it even more special.”
“You really are too soppy for your own good. And for your information, Jonathan wasn’t worthy of licking your boot. I’m sure it won’t be long before his new girlfriend sees the real him.”
“Toni, they’re getting married in less than a month.”
Toni rotated the bottom of her lukewarm coffee. “Oh, sorry.”
“Don’t be. Anyway, how did talk of a weekend come about then?”
“We went out for a drink and it sort of just came up. I can’t even remember what we were speaking about.”
“Is that because you were too busy looking into each other’s eyes?” Michelle asked, fluttering her eyelashes.
Toni answered with a smile.
“You might be good at fooling yourself Toni, but you can’t fool me, I can see it in your eyes.”
“I don’t think after the other day’s events—”
Michelle held up her hands. “Whoa. Let’s take a few steps back here. What happened the other day?”
“Oh, I thought I’d told you.”
“Er, no you didn’t, unless you’ve got another best friend called Michelle who you tell all your secrets to.”
“We were at her place, we kissed, and things took a turn for the worse afterwards.” Toni could feel her face heating up at the memory.
“Hmmm, so she’s still got a bee in her bonnet?”
“It would seem that way. But I think we’ve made some progress.”
“In strides it seems. First you take on the bitch-from-hell at work, then you’re snogging your old lover. I can’t wait for the next instalment.”
“Neither can I.” Four days seemed like forever.
Michelle glanced from side to side, then leaned forward and said in barely a whisper. “I know it’s a personal question, Tone, but I still can’t get my head around what women actually do in bed together.”
Toni picked up her coffee and paused before drinking it. “Do you really want to know?”
Michelle nodded as she squinted her eyes. “Not in a perverted way like a man does. It just interests me in case, you know, I decide to switch sides in a few years.”
Toni rolled her eyes. If there was one person she knew was not for turning, that person was Michelle. She loved the male form too much to give it up despite what she said. She decided to play along with her anyway. “Okay we’ll go to the cinema after work tonight. All your questions will be answered then.”
Michelle smiled and rested her head against Toni’s shoulder. “Ooh I can’t wait. What are we going to see?”
“A film I read about that’s supposed to have explicit lesbian sex scenes in it. I think it’ll be right up your alley.”
“Can’t wait!” Michelle said with a wide grin.
***
The lights in the cinema switched on as the film came to an end. Toni stretched out her legs then turned to Michelle whose eyes were transfixed on the screen, even though it was only the end credits.
“Oh. My. God! You do all of that?”
Toni shrugged. “Not me personally, but I suppose some women do,” she said as she tried to compare the love scenes from the film to hers and Jessie’s. As teenagers she didn’t think they even came close to what the women in the film were doing.
“That was so energetic. I thought you all just—” she lowered her voice to barely a whisper, “went down on each other and kissed. I’m seriously shocked. You know I think I would enjoy a bit of that.”
Toni laughed. “But you don’t even fancy women, Michelle.”
“I don’t fancy men at the moment either, and what I’ve just seen looks a hell of a lot more interesting than what I’ve ever done with a man.”
“Yeah, well, like I said, not all lesbians have sex like that.”
“Would you take me to a gay bar?” Michelle asked suddenly.
Toni looked at her aghast. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. I think I’m a lesbian.”
Jessie smiled at her as though she was a small child telling her she had just seen Father Christmas. “Now don’t be silly!”
Michelle looked offended. “I’m not kidding, Tone. That really turned me on.”
Toni blinked in disbelief. “Visual stimulation can’t determine your sexuality, Michelle.”
“That’s why I think I should go and meet some women – to test it out.”
“I’ll make you a deal. If at the end of the month you’re still feeling this way then we’ll go to a gay bar,” Toni said making a valiant effort to drop the subject.
“Promise?”
“I promise, now can we go and eat? I’m starving.”
“So am I.” Michelle stood up and rubbed her hands together, looking Toni up and down. “But not for something you can pick up in a restaurant.”
Chapter 24
The week couldn’t have moved fast enough for Jessie as she waited on her doorstep for Toni to arrive. Four days had seemed like a lifetime to her. She smiled when she saw Toni’s black BMW snake its way along the street, coming to a halt on her driveway. She could see Toni’s beaming smile through the windscreen. Jessie’s heart flipped over.
“So where are we going?” Toni asked as she stepped out of her car and reached into the back to grab a small case.
Jessie gestured towards her car with two mountain bikes attached to a rack.
Toni burst out laughing. “Cycling?”
Jessie gave the ropes a final tug, making sure that the bikes were securely fastened. “Yep, in the New Forest. I’ve booked us a yurt for the weekend.”
“A what?” Toni asked as she loaded her case into the back seat of Jessie’s car.
“A yurt. They’re used by nomads in Mongolia.”
“Oh wow,” Toni said, the uncertainty obvious in her voice. “It’s a good thing I brought my onesie to wear.”
Jessie grinned. “Don’t worry. It won’t be that cold. It has a wood burner in it.”
“Ooh how modern.” She opened the passenger car door and slipped into her seat. Seconds later Jessie was sitting in the driver’s seat turning over the ignition.
“The best thing is there isn’t a telephone signal for miles, which means there can’t be any distractions.”
“Sounds like we’re stepping back into the Stone Age,” Toni said.
“No, just some good old-fashioned fresh air and peace and quiet.”
Toni pressed the button on the door to wind down the window. “I can’t wait.”
“Neither can I.”
Jessie drove at ninety miles an hour on the open stretches of motorway heading towards the New Forest. As London became a distant memory, they spoke about how things had progressed in their lives and how life had been so different from what they’d expected. With ten miles left to go, Toni lapsed into silence. Jessie cast a sideways glance at her and noticing Toni’s sombre look her heart sank. I hope she’s not thinking about work. She had hoped by taking her away for the weekend that Toni would leave all her problems behind – not bring them with her.
***
The large, white, circular wooden-framed tent sat nestled in trees alongside a running stream. Stepping inside, Toni looked around in awe at the Middle Eastern décor. Natural light flooded in through a window in the roof top. A double futon adorned with colourful throws and cushions stood in the middle of the spacious structure. Opposite, a black wood burner was already packed with logs waiting to be lit. A multitude of rugs strewn over the polished wooden floor added to the charm of the dwelling.
“This place is truly amazing,” Toni said glancing around the enclosure.
Jessie walked over to a door and pulled it open. “I know. It even has its own eco toilet and shower.”
Toni joined her and poked her head through the door. “This definitely is glamping.”
“I love coming here to recharge my batteries,” Jessie said as she flung her bag onto the sofa and dug through it to retrieve her sunglasses.
“I can imagine.”
Jessie slipped her sunglasses on and turned to Toni. “So, are you ready to go see the sights?”
“Most definitely!” Toni said as she threw her bag on the floor.
Within minutes the women had off-loaded their bikes and were soon cycling beside a lake that lay behind the field where the yurt was situated. Toni inhaled deeply. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so ... free. London and all the problems associated with it seemed a million miles away. Toni turned to look at Jessie and mixed feelings of happiness and excitement ran through her. Jessie looked like the beautiful teenage girl she had fallen in love with so long ago.
“I’ll race you to the beach,” Jessie called out as she accelerated in front of her.
“Hey that’s cheating. I wasn’t ready!” Toni shouted back as she powered her legs in an attempt to catch up with her.
Their bikes crunched along gravel paths that wound their way through the forest of conifers and open heathland. New Forest ponies roamed freely across the landscape, unfazed by any people or traffic they encountered. Finally, the sea came into view in the distance just as the burning feeling in Toni’s legs was becoming unbearable. The golden sand and calm sea was jammed with bathers and kids running amok. Eventually, Toni saw Jessie come to a stop as she neared a small wooden shack on the promenade. Toni wasn’t far behind, which surprised her considering how unfit she was. She could hear Jessie laughing as she came within a few feet of her.
Jessie swung her leg over the bike. “I hope you don’t still get sea sick.”
Toni frowned. “Eh?” she asked, panting and trying to catch her breath.
“Hey Jess!” a male voice called out from behind them.
Both women spun around shielding their eyes from the sun with their hands. A bearded, well-built man came into view. The eyes that greeted the women were friendly and warm.
“Hey Donald, this is my friend, Toni.”
Donald rubbed his hands down the front of his blue overalls then took Toni’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Toni shielded the sun from her eyes with her hand as she looked up at him.“Likewise.”
Donald expanded his arms to his sides. “So are you ladies ready?”
Toni gave Jessie a puzzled look.
Jessie smiled as she slipped her glasses onto her head and glanced at Toni. “We sure are Don. We’ll just lock the bikes up and be right with you.”
“No problem.” He headed off in the direction he’d come from.
Toni laid her hand on Jessie’s arm. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
“Crab fishing.”
Toni was taken aback. “Are you serious?”
“Yep. See that boat there?” Jessie pointed to a small fishing boat.
“Jessie, that isn’t a boat – it’s a dingy.” Toni frowned as she looked over at the blue boat that swayed gently on the sea – it didn’t look like it was big enough for two let alone three people.
Jessie laughed at her expression. “Trust me. It’s seems bigger when you get on it. Come on, it’ll be fun.”
“If you say so,” Toni said, as she followed her across the sand and on to the boat.
Toni lay back against the wooden edge of the boat as Donald steered them out to sea. Jessie sat squashed beside her. Toni didn’t care that the boat was cramped; she liked the closeness it afforded them. Gradually the noise of the crowds on the beach lessened and only the squawks of the sea gulls circling overhead mingled with the loud hum of the boat’s engine were now audible.
“Are you okay?” Jessie asked raising her voice, as the wind blew her hair out of her face.
Toni thought she never looked lovelier. She nodded. “Yes fine.”
Jessie put her arm around Toni’s back like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. “I’m so glad you’re here Toni,” she shouted above the sound of the engine.
Toni leaned into Jessie, bringing her face up to hers, as she covered Jessie’s hand with her own.
They sat cuddled together even when Donald finally stopped at the fishing spot and stepped out of his cabin.
“Let’s hope we have a good day,” he said, not even blinking at the two women who were sitting on his small boat looking like star-crossed lovers.
A few hours later, having cooked the crab from a successful catch on an on-board BBQ, Jessie and Toni were back sitting outside the yurt drinking beer in the afternoon sun. The smoke from several lit BBQs around the camp site filled the air. Dogs barked and children screamed as they happily played together, chasing each other in turn. The whole atmosphere was blissful.
Toni looked over at Jessie and smiled to herself. She had to admit she had been impressed with Jessie’s stamina. Toni had ended up wheeling her bike back half the way whilst Jessie had ridden hers uphill. She looked at Jessie’s legs in her cut-downs and liked the toned shape of her calf muscles.
“Do you exercise much?” she blurted out without thinking. What a silly question – of course she does. Her body was firm and fit without an ounce of fat. She lowered her eyes to Jessie’s chest – except where the fat needed to be of course. She felt an unexpected tingle between her legs as she had a flashback of touching Jessie’s naked flesh. Stop it! She chastised herself. Don’t go and put your foot in it again.
Jessie laid a hand on her stomach. “Yeah, I try to jog a few times a week.”
Toni hesitated for a second. She hated to ask but she needed to know if coming to this yurt was a regular thing that Jessie did with women. “Who do you normally come here with?”
Jessie took a swig of beer before turning to her. “I come alone. I like my own space.”
“In that case I feel privileged.”
Jessie shrugged. “I feel relaxed with you.”
“Me too,” Toni said, draining the last dregs of her beer. Automatically, Jessie flicked the lid off a new one and handed it to her. “I hope you’re not trying to get me drunk, Jessie.”
Jessie arched her eyebrows. “Would I? If I remember rightly, you were the one always trying to get me drunk.”
Toni laughed. “It was the only way I could get you to lighten up. You were always so serious.”
“Yeah well I didn’t have much to be happy about if you remember.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
Jessie grasped a lock of her hair between her fingers and twisted it into a tight ringlet before releasing it and starting all over again. “I know you didn’t, I’m just being sensitive – again.”
Toni watched Jessie as she clenched her hand into a ball and rested her head against the back of her seat. An uneasy feeling spread over her. If Jessie couldn’t let the past go, what hope did they have to build any type of relationship – whether it was friendship or something more.
“So come on, tell me about you,” Toni said, swiftly moving the conversation onto a lighter topic.
Suddenly Jessie’s eyes flicked open and she turned her head to her. “What do you want to know?”
“What’s your favourite book now?”
“It’s got to be Perfume. It was the most unusual book I’ve ever read, not to mention well written.”
