Still Just a Geek, page 39
I spent hundreds of hours, over the years hanging out with Rick Sternbach (in addition to all his great contributions to Trek, Rick also illustrated the cover of Tales of Known Space, and autographed my copy, which was cool) and Mike Okuda, in the art department, asking them all about what made the ship go (because I look for things . . . things to make me go . . .),* and making sure that I was touching the buttons in the correct sequence to do whatever I was supposed to be doing. Once, in tenth or eleventh grade, I had to write a research paper, and I got permission from my teacher to do it on the fictional technology of Star Trek, focusing on propulsion. This was before Mike and Denise had written their books,* so I actually had to interview the Techies on our show. (Oh, I guess they like to be called “Tech-ers.”* Sorry.) Anyway, I had to conduct interviews with them and buy some of the fan-authored books . . . but the final project was really cool, and I was forever able to explain to tour groups exactly what each thing in the engine room did.
Wow. I am realizing what a super geek I am. But that makes me cool, right? Right?
I’ve just remembered something that I haven’t thought about in years. Sorry for the tangent. I know this is sort of off-topic, but you can’t mod me down!
*cackle* Ahh, the sweet, sweet elixir of corrupting power!*
Once, I was at a Los Angeles–area convention—not as a guest, but as a convention attendee, complete with badge and geeky T-shirt. I’m thinking it was Loscon, but I’m not sure. It’s not important. The important thing is, I tied an onion to my belt,* which was the style at the time, and I walked into a room where there were lots of authors signing books. One of the authors there was Larry Niven. I just about gave birth. I had just finished reading Ringworld and Ringworld Engineers, and I was in the middle of Tales of Known Space. I had even bought a copy of Ringworld while I was at this con, I think as a gift or something, without knowing that Niven was there. So I ran up to him, and the exchange went something like this:
Me: Oh my god! You’re Larry Niven!
Him: Oh my god! You’re Wil Wheaton!
Me: I love your books so much! [Insert huge geek out here]
Him: I love you on Star Trek! [Insert minor geek out here]
Me: Really?!
Him: Really?!
Me: Yes!
Him: Yes!
Together: Can I have your autograph?!
No kidding. That really happened, and it was just amazing. I will never forget that. Stuff like that happens sometimes, and I always love it when I meet someone who I admire, and they’re just as excited to meet me. When I was working on Flubber, one of the other actors—I think it was Clancy Brown*—came up to me on the first day and said, “Wil. I have to come out of the closet.” I thought it was weird that he was coming out to me,* but I said, “Okay . . . ?” And he says, “I am a huge Star Trek fan. I didn’t want that to get in the way of our work.”
I looked at him, and said, “Clancy, Robin Williams is a huge Star Trek fan, too . . . and THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!”
And I cut off his head.*
WESLEY CRUSHER JOKES
By DarkDust on 07:58 A.M. October 15, 2001
Q: As you mentioned on your FAQ page, the Wesley Crusher character from TNG was target of some not very complimentary jokes. But are there any Wesley Crusher jokes that you liked?
A: I can’t recall any that I thought were very funny, actually. They are all pretty much just variations on the same theme, and I just don’t find being sodomized by a Klingon to be the height of humor. Unless it’s animated by Terry Gilliam.*
There is a funny story that involves the whole “put Wesley in the airlock” phenomenon . . . I wrote about it at my site a few weeks ago, and I’ll reprint it here:
It was my fanatical love of The Prisoner* that allowed me to understand why anyone would want to wear a spacesuit and go to a convention. Because I used to have a lame little Number 6 pin, and I would wear it to game cons, back in the day.
This reminds me of this one time I went to a huge game con, and some guy was selling “Put Wesley in the Airlock” buttons. I went up to his table, and he saw me coming and tried to hide them, but I got there too fast and took one. While I was looking at it, I could see the huge drops of sweat falling off his Hutt-like visage,* and I asked him, “How much?” He told me $2.50, or something like that, so I bought it and wore it on my Batman T-shirt the rest of the day. That was cool.
ENTERPRISE
By abde on 08:00 A.M. October 15, 2001
Q: I liked your brief appearance in the Sprite commercial :) My question is, have you thought about sticking with the Star Trek franchise? With Enterprise, the franchise is taking a new direction, in which the characters are more human and not ultra-competent Utopians. Have you considered trying for a part, recurring or otherwise?
A: I’ve thought about it, sure. I even made calls to Berman and Company back in the day, with some cool ideas, which were never developed.
I really like Enterprise. I watch it every week in the hopes of seeing more naked T’Pol.*
As much as I loved TNG, it did wear on me a bit that everyone was so damn perfect. I love that the new show has lots of conflict, and the crew seems to be in real danger each week. The cast is great, and, so far, they haven’t completely ruined the continuity of the Trek universe. Also, the captain has a beagle. A beagle! And he talks to it! You have to love that.*
However, I left Trek when I was eighteen so I wouldn’t be doing it for the rest of my career. Trying out for a regular role on the new show would be a step back, career-wise, and very unlikely, considering the treatment I’ve gotten at the hands of Berman and Company since I left. However, I would be open to guesting, and I’m really sad that I don’t get to be in the movie. Especially if there’s a wedding in the script. I think it’d give some nice closure to the character.
ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT BEING TYPECAST?
By wrinkledshirt on 08:03 A.M. October 15, 2001
Q: Jason Alexander once said in an interview that every single episode he did as George on Seinfeld made it harder and harder for him to be marketable in showbiz as any other sort of character. Given that most people know you as Wesley Crusher, do you ever worry about it? If that’s a problem, how does an actor break out of it?
A: When I was eighteen, I was beginning to have precisely those feelings that Jason talks about. I did an interview with AICN, where I got to talk about that. Success is a double-edged sword, you know? On one side, it’s simply amazing to be associated with such a successful show and play a character that so many people get to know. On the other side, that association can utterly kill any chance you have of having a career beyond that show.
I have no idea how an actor breaks out of that, because Hollywood works very hard to establish an actor as a “type” and then leaves that actor in that “type” because they know that the audience will tune in to see it. Bob Saget is a perfect example. Holy shit. He is one of the dirtiest, funniest, stand-up comedians I’ve ever seen . . . but Hollywood just won’t cast him in an “edgy” role, because he’s forever the guy from Full House.*
Hollywood is all about insecurity. Studio heads know that their jobs are only temporary, and they know that when they make one mistake, they’re gone. So they don’t like to take chances. They don’t like to take an actor who is good in action and put him in a comedy, because the audience may not buy it, and the actor may not be able to handle the role.
I have a reputation in Hollywood as a very good dramatic actor,* and I think I’ve earned that, and I’m proud of it. What’s currently driving me crazy is this reluctance by the industry to let me show them that I’m funny.* It’s maddening, because I’ve been doing very funny sketch comedy at the ACME Comedy Theatre, and improv with the Liquid Radio Players and Los Angeles Theatresports. I have a plan, though. I adapted one of my sketches into a screenplay,* and if this thing I talk about in my next answer works out, I can just make it myself and take over the WORLD!
NEWTEK AND THE VIDEO TOASTER
By suso on 08:11 A.M. October 15, 2001
Q: On your homepage, you mention that you once worked for NewTek during their development or initial release of the Video Toaster. I’ve always been curious to know how you got the job there and what you exactly did for them? Did you ever own an Amiga prior to working at NewTek?
A: I was invited to NewTek’s XXXmas party when I was nineteen, and I was simply blown away by what they were doing out there.
For those not familiar, NewTek was the company that brought desktop video to the consumer market while also redefining the professional market. They made the Video Toaster, which was an amazing, affordable way to make television yourself that looked as good as the stuff the networks made, with nifty effects, graphics, and what was probably the coolest 3D program back then.
I firmly believe that the Video Toaster created the market for the iMovie and the other rash of desktop video solutions.
While I worked there, I was part of the research and development team, working mostly on the Video Toaster 4000. I also spent LOTS of time traveling around the country giving demos and stuff for the launch of the 4000 when it was finished.
The year and a half I spent at NewTek was one of the best in my life, as far as personal growth goes. I learned that I can make it in the Real World, but, more importantly, I learned that I am very unhappy if I’m not being an actor.* I’m a pretty skeptical person, but I tell you this: I really believe that “do what you’re supposed to do” stuff, and I learned, while I was there, that I am supposed to be an actor.*
I had this plan when I worked for NewTek, and, unfortunately, I never got to complete it. It went something like this: I can write, and I can write well. I have TONS of creative ideas, that would make cool short films, but none of them would ever make money or be suitable for TV. In short, no network or studio would ever give me the money to make them. So I decided that I would make them myself, using a digital video camera and the Video Toaster. I’d give the movies to NewTek, and they could use them in marketing as an example of what the Toaster could do.
Good idea, right? We all thought so, and we were doing it, until NewTek fell apart, and the core group left to form Play Incorporated, in the mid-nineties.
It’s actually a good thing that NewTek imploded, because it gave me this kick in the ass to get back to LA and rededicate myself to acting.* However, a few years went by, and I was feeling like I had started this thing and never finished it, which was bugging me. So I called up Paul Montgomery, my friend who left NewTek and became the vision behind Play Inc. Paul thought it was a great idea, and we started working out the kinks. And there were some kinks, believe me. There were some people at Play who I just couldn’t work with. Paul and I were in the process of working all that out when Paul had a heart attack and died, at age thirty-one. Holy shit. Paul was the soul of NewTek and the soul of Play. With him gone, Play completely fell apart. I tried to keep going with our idea, because that’s what I thought he’d want, but the person who took over Play was just impossible. He treated me so badly, and so dishonored Paul’s memory, that I told him to shove it, and walked away. Shortly after Paul died, they ran Play into the ground, too.* Completely sucked, because Play had amazing potential.
Thing is, I still want to make my own movies, and I still think that people like you and me can do it with great ease, using tools like the iMovie. Matter of fact, if anyone reading this knows people at Apple, have them get in touch with me. I’d still like to produce my own stuff, and I’m thinking iMovie is the way to go, now, as far as I can tell.*
I never owned an Amiga before working at NewTek, but I loved them while I had them. They were always easy to use and stable as hell. Too bad Commodore never “got” the Amiga. Yet another example of Corporate America failing to see the forest through the trees.*
USENET
By Herbmaster on 08:16 A.M. October 15, 2001
Q: When did you first hear of the classic Usenet group, alt.wesley.crusher.die.die.die, and what was your reaction?
A: I first became aware of it while visiting the HAL labs* in Urbana, Illinois, on the twelfth of January 1992. I really didn’t care about it, at first, because by that time I had gotten used to people hating not only Wesley, but me. Over the years, though, all that negativity and the inability to separate me from a character I played has really wore on me. Since I launched my website, I now have a presence on the Internet, and a lot of that crap has come crashing back down on me. Honestly, you’d think that people would grow up and move on, seeing as it was so many years ago, but you’d be wrong. You know what’s weird? It hurt, all that criticism. It hurt then, and it still hurts now. Sometimes it just makes me feel bad, and other times, it makes me mad. Once, after enduring a particularly vicious attack from someone, I wrote:*
Thank you for blaming ME for the writing of a fictional character, on a fictional TV show. That makes complete sense, considering all the input the writers would take from a fifteen-year-old kid. Have you ever bothered to ask? Did it ever occur to you that I just said the lines I was given? Don’t take it out on me. I’m just an actor, who did the best job he could with what he was given.
I don’t care if you’re the Guy from TV or if you’re the kid from math class. Being personally attacked by people who don’t know a thing about you hurts. It sucks. I wonder, do you spend a fifth of the time you spend dumping on me doing something constructive with your life? I certainly hope so. You people are just like the people in high school who never took the time to get to know me and judged me before I even showed up.
Aren’t we mostly geeks here, online? Didn’t we all, at one time or another, get bullied by the cool kids? Don’t any of you remember what that felt like?
So, yeah. That’s how I reacted when I was hurt and mad. It’s strange to me that I’m twenty-nine now, and people are still giving me shit for a show that I did when I was fifteen. What’s surprising to me, still, is that I even care, and that the criticism still hurts. If I could only live my life with my threshold at 4.
WIL’S JOB AT NEWTEK’S LIGHTWAVE
By PETER303 on 08:17 A.M. October 15, 2001
Q: You worked at the animation software shop NewTek for a while. What did you do there? Do you thing you’ll get back into tech again someday?
A: Well, I think I pretty much covered the NewTek stuff already, but as far as tech goes, the farthest I can go with my technical skill is what I’ve done with my website. I think I’ve come a long way from my first über-lame page that I built with PageBuilder at GeoCities. The problem that I always run into is that my aspirations constantly outpace my abilities. I have these dreams of doing all sorts of amazingly cool PHP things at my site, but these are months, maybe even a year off. Technology is moving so quickly these days, if you stop to look around, you get left in the dust, and it’s pretty hard for me to keep up.
I have always loved technology, and when I can afford it, I will have all the cool tech toys that they sell at ThinkGeek. They will be mine. Oh yes. They will be mine.*
HOLLYWOOD ACTIVISM
By Dunkirk on 08:23 A.M. October 15, 2001
Q: Wil, you have made comments to the effect of poo-pooing celebrity opinions about issues in general. Yet in your blogs, you spend a lot of time discussing politics, and you make no bones about which side of the isle [sic] you favor. As someone in the public spotlight—and especially as someone in the geek spotlight (being a celeb that has your own self-coded website)—do you consider it a duty of sorts to be an activist? Does being a celeb[rity] bring any more responsibility over the common, First Amendment-empowered citizen in voicing your opinion? Also, do you feel that you have qualities above and beyond other Hollywood celebrities that makes it important that you share your feelings?
A: Thanks, dk. One of my defining characteristics is that I can’t keep my mouth shut. I can’t stand idly by, and if somebody has to say it, it may as well be me. I am extremely passionate about virtually everything, and that passion drives me to discuss, argue, and learn about issues that have an effect on my life. I’m sure that it would just be easier to stay quiet and live happily in McWorld, but I will not go gently into that good night.
I don’t know if I have qualities above and beyond other celebrities that make it important to share my feelings. I don’t know because I don’t hang out with other celebrities, at all. But I do know that my passion is genuine, and I really do care about the issues I discuss. I don’t know what the others do, but I carefully research issues before I get on one side of them. I evaluate both sides of an issue and apply my own filters, based on my knowledge and previous experiences. I draw a conclusion, I test the conclusion, I form an opinion, and then I post about it. I just write about the things that matter to me. I would be writing about this stuff, even if nobody came to my website to read about it. However, for better or for worse, in our culture we tend to give more attention to a celebrity than an equally educated non-celebrity. So if I can use my visibility to bring attention to the idiocy of the DMCA (Digital Millennium Copyright Act), or the things the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) and RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) have been pulling the last two years, then I will do it, gladly. That falls under the heading of “Using the Power of Celebrity for Good.” Of course, I’m sure it’s fun to use it for Evil, but that opportunity hasn’t presented itself to me yet.
I don’t want people to listen to me because they think I’m a celebrity. I don’t view myself as a “celebrity” at all. Matter of fact, one of the freakiest and most surprising things I’ve discovered since I launched my website is that way more people know my work than I ever imagined. So I guess that makes me a celebrity to some people, but not in my own mind, if that makes any sense.*
