Winter's Spell, page 7
Lisa looked nonplussed. “No offense meant.”
Oh sure.
“None taken,” said Roxy gallantly, finishing off the rest of her beer as though to show just how little offended she was.
Lisa’s Chardonnay was nearly gone, and Tessa was just about to suggest asking for the check, when the door of the snug flew open and a stranger appeared in the doorway.
The person who stood at the entrance to the snug was stunning—and in a completely different way than Lisa.
Her features were open and friendly, with a heart-shaped face, large blue-green eyes, a curvaceous body, and shockingly bright green curly hair that cascaded down her back. Her skin shimmered in the dim light of the pub, somewhere between bronze and copper. She was unusual and fascinating. Tessa could feel her jaw drop open.
“Roxy!” said the stranger, her voice melodious and low, with a hint of a foreign accent. “Here you are!”
“Mo!” Roxy looked white as a sheet.
Tessa was shocked. She didn’t think Roxy knew anyone else here in Ptown. All of a sudden, Tessa was filled with certainty that this must be Roxy’s latest conquest. She was a player, after all. Wasn’t that what Elizabeth had told her a million times? And this beautiful creature must be her most recent. It figured she was only in Ptown three days and she’d managed to find the most beautiful woman on Cape Cod to bed.
Her thoughts flew to this conclusion in mere seconds, and the accompanying emotions filled her with disappointment, confusion, sadness, and anger. Yes, anger. She was angry with herself for even thinking she had a chance with Roxy.
“Please to let me in,” said Mo unceremoniously, gesturing to Lisa to get up.
Lisa, apparently utterly confused at being ordered around by a stranger, got up automatically and Mo slid into the booth. She then gestured back at Lisa to sit down again, which she did.
All of them at the table were immobilized by the appearance of this unusual and stunning stranger who appeared to be quite comfortable in the snug between Roxy and Lisa. Tessa was on pins and needles to know who this person was and her relationship to Roxy. Were all her plans to be with Roxy going to be foiled before she ever had a chance to try?
Chapter Seven—Roxy
“What are you doing here?” said Roxy to Mo in a whisper that she hoped dearly no one else would hear.
“You were gone all day. What was I supposed to do? I am hungry and there is no fish at home.”
Mo clearly hadn’t gotten the message about whispering and answered at full volume.
Roxy looked at her watch.
“Crap. I’m so sorry, Mo. I lost track of time. But I thought we agreed you’d stay in the apartment.”
“I’m tired of the apartment,” said Mo petulantly. How did she learn to whine in human form, wondered Roxy briefly, before her thoughts were interrupted.
“So, Roxy, you going to introduce us, or what?” said Chayo, giving her a rather stern look that Roxy had no idea how to interpret but which immediately made her nervous.
“Oh! Yes. Sorry, uh…” Roxy had no idea what to say, but she had to offer some kind of explanation. She looked over at Tessa and realized that she was watching her carefully. She had to come up with something for Mo. An identity that made sense but that excluded the possibility of a romantic relationship. “Mo is my…sister. I mean cousin. I mean, my sister-cousin. I mean, not like that. Oh God. I mean, we’re so close we could be like sisters. But she’s my cousin.”
The words came out fast and jumbled. It all sounded ridiculous.
“She’s your cousin?” said Lisa, the incredulity dripping off her tongue.
“By marriage,” added Roxy. Fuck. That wasn’t what she’d wanted to say. “We grew up together. So, you know, we’re almost like sisters. Mo is, uh, temporarily homeless. She’s staying with me in Ptown for now.”
Mo nodded. At least she’d cottoned on enough to play along.
“Roxy is my savior. My protector,” added Mo solemnly.
“Wow,” said Tessa with admiration now in her voice. She looked at Roxy, and Roxy felt warm from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. She was certain she was blushing. It’d been a long time since anyone had looked at Roxy with such overt admiration. “You’re quite the hero.”
The heat in Roxy’s face intensified.
“Oh, gee, it was nothing—”
Lisa stood up and interrupted with her queenly voice. “I think I’m ready to go to my lodgings now. Tessa, will you escort me?”
Roxy felt a stab of jealousy go through her. Luckily, Chayo saved the day.
“I’d be happy to show you to your lodgings, Ms. Collins,” she said with more charm than Roxy was prepared for. Chayo opened the snug door, stepped through, and put her hand out to help Lisa out of the snug all in one swift movement. Lisa, who was apparently not quite as rude as Roxy had initially suspected, accepted the offer, if somewhat reluctantly. Roxy noted the look of longing on Lisa’s face that appeared and disappeared just as swiftly. She recognized it from her own romantic misadventures in the past. Was there still something between Lisa and Tessa?
Once Chayo and Lisa were gone, it was much quieter and spacious in the snug. The server came back and cleared away some of the dishes and took an order for a plate of seafood for Mo. Roxy hoped to goodness that she’d be okay eating cooked fish and shrimp as opposed to the raw stuff she’d been wolfing down back at the apartment.
“She is an unpleasant person, is she not?” said Mo matter-of-factly.
“The server?” Roxy was confused.
“No. This…Lisa Collins. She was very rude.” Roxy had to hide a smile. Mo’s own speech came off as condescending and rude.
“I’m so sorry, Tessa. My cousin is very, uh, forthright,” said Roxy.
“It’s okay. Lisa is not for everyone. And she likes to be in charge and get her way.”
“You see?” said Mo, as if Tessa’s affirmation made it all right to say whatever she liked about Lisa.
“Yes, but it’s not nice to say stuff like that about people, Mo. Not with human beings. I mean, you know, my friends?” Roxy tried to emphasize the last word, hoping the significance of the word would impress Mo and really hoping Tessa didn’t notice her weird remark about human beings.
“It’s fine, really, Roxy,” said Tessa, and she gave Roxy’s arm a squeeze. It was the smallest of gestures, but Roxy felt a spark of connection instantly.
“Thanks,” she said, her mind suddenly blank. What had they been talking about?
“What will you be doing here in Provincetown over the winter?” said Tessa.
“I will be helping Roxy. She helped me and I will help her.”
“What will you be helping her with?”
“I will help her find her true—”
“My true calling,” interrupted Roxy before Mo could finish and say, “true love.”
Mo gave her a look of confusion that she answered with a wink. Did mermaids know what a wink meant? It was impossible to know.
The food arrived. Roxy had ordered Mo the grilled catch of the day with garlic sauteed shrimp. Even though she’d just eaten, it all smelled delicious.
Mo wrinkled up her nose at the smell of it though. She picked up a fork, (they’d been practicing at the apartment) awkwardly holding it in her fist, and tried stabbing a piece of shrimp.
“Why is it hot?” asked Mo, looking at Roxy with dismay.
“Just try it!” said Roxy encouragingly. “She, uh, normally mostly eats sushi,” she said to Tessa by way of explanation.
Mo took a small bite of the sauteed shrimp and made a face.
“Ugh! It’s awful.”
“Oh no,” said Tessa. “Is that not what you wanted?” She sounded genuinely concerned, and Roxy had no idea what to do. She couldn’t have Mo eating raw fish right there in the restaurant.
“Maybe try the fish?” said Roxy.
Mo nibbled a bit of the grilled fish. She made a face of disappointment but kept eating.
“This is…better,” she said.
“Oh good,” said Roxy. “Eat up. Maybe the shrimp was too, uh, garlicky.”
“Maybe next time she could try the seared ahi tuna,” suggested Tessa helpfully. “That’s almost like sushi.”
Of course, thought Roxy. Why hadn’t she thought of that?
“Great idea,” she said, giving Tessa a grateful look. She let her gaze linger on Tessa’s face and found that she didn’t look away. Finally, Roxy looked back at Mo, whose eating habits were still rather wild.
“Mo, come on,” she muttered, elbowing her. How someone so beautiful could eat in such a disgusting fashion was beyond Roxy’s comprehension. Bits of fish were all over Mo’s face, and she was eating with gusto now, shoveling fish and even shrimp into her mouth with both hands, the fork abandoned on the table. It would have been funny if it weren’t so utterly disgusting.
What would Tessa think of her now? She stole a glance at Tessa and was relieved to see that Tessa was holding back laughter on her side of the table.
Roxy felt a bubble of laughter in her chest rise up. Suddenly the whole situation seemed completely absurd. There she was, at a pub, with an incredibly attractive woman who was clearly attracted to her as well, and with a mermaid disguised as a human being with terrible table manners.
Before she could stop, a hoot of laughter escaped her mouth. The more she tried to cover her giggles, the harder she was laughing. Soon both she and Tessa were laughing so hard they were clutching at their stomachs and gasping for air.
Finally, Mo finished eating and surveyed them carefully.
“You are laughing? Why so?”
Roxy had no idea what to say. The last thing she wanted was to insult Mo. Who knew how she’d react?
Tessa came to her rescue.
“I’m sorry. I made a funny face at Roxy. It’s my fault. I was…imitating Lisa.”
This explanation made sense to Mo, and she nodded. Her serious demeanor was undercut by the sheen of butter and garlic around her mouth, and Roxy had to work not to start laughing again.
“Yes, Lisa is too serious. She needs to…how do you say? Lighten up.”
At this pronouncement, Roxy felt sure she’d lose it all over again, but Tessa showed herself to be a consummate performer. She nodded along with Mo and kept her expression neutral.
“Yes, I expect that is absolutely true. She could definitely use some help lightening up.” She paused for a moment, as if thinking. “You know, maybe you could help with that, Mo. What do you think? Maybe you could help us out with the play? You could be Lisa’s assistant. That is, if you want to. No pressure. It sounds like you are going through some stuff.”
Roxy wasn’t sure that having Mo at the theater, much less working with someone as clever and discerning as Lisa, was a good idea.
“Wow, that’s such a nice offer, Tessa. Mo and I will talk about it at home,” said Roxy, elbowing Mo hard.
“Ow!” said Mo, rubbing her side. “Why did you do that?”
Roxy put her head in her hands.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause problems,” said Tessa. “Talk it over and let me know. We can always use more help.” She smiled winningly at both of them, and Roxy could feel her heart melt a little more. If only Mo wasn’t so socially inept, this would all be a lot easier.
* * *
Roxy and Tessa settled up soon after that, and they all left the pub. Tessa went to check on Lisa and how she was settling in, and Roxy frog-marched Mo back to the apartment as quickly as possible.
“What is the rush?” said Mo once they were finally back in the studio apartment. She flopped on the bed in a clumsy way that bespoke the fact she was still struggling with her permanent human form.
Roxy pulled up a chair.
“The thing is, you can’t just show up like that when I’m with other people.”
“Why?” She sounded genuinely hurt.
“Because you’re going to give yourself away.”
Mo looked at her blankly.
“As a mer—”
“Don’t say it!”
“Ack, sorry. As a non-human.”
Mo nodded sagely. “I see. So how do I be more human?”
As if that wasn’t the question for the ages.
“Just…try to say nice things. Or don’t say anything at all. People don’t like to hear mean things.”
Mo looked skeptical. “But this means not saying the truth. My people always speak the truth.”
“Try not to think of it as lying…think of it more as being kind.”
Mo mulled this over before finally sitting up and nodding again. “I think I know what you mean. Be nice. Especially to the Lisa Collins. She will be the star of the show, yes?”
Roxy nodded.
“And she is the former lover of Tessa?”
Again, Roxy nodded. Mo narrowed her eyes and studied Roxy carefully. Under her scrutiny, Roxy felt herself blush. She thought in that moment of Tessa, sitting across from her in the snug, eyes sparkling, face flushed with laughter, looking beautiful.
“And you are in love with Tessa!”
“What!?”
Mo wore a triumphant grin, pointing at Roxy to emphasize her conclusion.
“Yes, I see it. You love her and she loves you.”
“That’s not possible, Mo. We barely know each other.”
Mo clearly didn’t believe her. She sat back on the couch, arms folded across her chest, looking pleased as punch.
“Seriously, Mo, that’s not how human love works. Love at first sight—that’s just nonsense. Sure, I mean, I like Tessa. I’m interested in her. And I think she’s interested in me. Maybe. I dunno.” She threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Now that her ex-fiancée is here, an actual Broadway star, maybe they will get back together. Isn’t that how it always is—the star of the show and the director?”
Mo looked at her blankly.
Of course she had no clue what Roxy was talking about. How could she? She could have no way of knowing what Broadway was or what it meant that Lisa was both beautiful and famous—and probably rich, too.
Comprehension dawned on Mo’s features. “I see. You are worried that Tessa loves Lisa.” She chuckled in that odd manner that Roxy hadn’t yet gotten used to. Her chuckles sounded more like a seal barking than anything remotely human. “You are so silly!” She threw her head back and barked ever more loudly.
Finally, the laughter stopped, and Mo looked again at Roxy with a look of incredulity and humor.
“Can you please explain to me why you’re laughing? Am I being unreasonable right now?”
“Yes, of course you are unreasonable. It is so obvious that Tessa loves you, not Lisa.”
Hope began to take shape again in Roxy’s breast. “Are you sure?”
Mo nodded and smiled warmly. “Yes, clear to me as water. She looks only at you.”
Roxy’s heart fluttered a bit, and she involuntarily touched her arm where Tessa had squeezed it a mere hour earlier.
“See? You know it. And you love her too.”
“Okay but, Mo…you really have to say ‘like,’ not ‘love.’ You have to know someone a long time to love them. First like, then love.”
Mo gave her a look as though she’d just grown a second head. “That is the most ridiculous thing you’ve said so far, Roxy.”
“Fine, whatever. I thought we were talking about how to make sure you pass for human, anyway.”
“Of course, of course,” said Mo, her gaze still steady on Roxy, as though trying to make her out, like a puzzle. “Talking to you is already helping me understand the humans.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Oh yes. I see. Humans do not want to say their true feelings. They say what is not true to hide what they really feel. I do not yet understand why that is. Why hide feelings? My people do not do this.”
“Clearly.”
Mo continued as if Roxy hadn’t spoken. Maybe mermaids didn’t understand sarcasm.
“Maybe humans are scared to say true feelings?”
“You might just be on to something,” said Roxy. She paced around the living room, trying to give Mo’s question a real answer. “We’re scared. All the time. We don’t want to be rejected. We don’t want to tell people how we really feel because what if they don’t feel the same way? Then it hurts even more.”
Roxy paused, her mind suddenly miles away from Provincetown and the tiny apartment and Mo. Her mind drifted back to her most recent ex. The one she thought was finally the One. She and Amy had seemed so perfect for one another. They’d met two summers ago doing the kayak tours. It had been a novelty to have a girlfriend who was “outdoorsy” like her. It had all seemed so easy and perfect and wonderful, and Roxy found herself falling in love not long after meeting Amy. All her relationships before that suddenly felt like nothing—mere infatuation. This was the real thing.
She’d let herself say “I love you” to Amy mere weeks after they started dating. After all, it hadn’t felt like mere weeks. They’d spent nearly every day together, working together during the day, sleeping in one another’s arms at night, spending every waking minute talking together, dreaming together.
But Amy never said “I love you” back. When the summer ended, Amy returned to California and grad school and, after a few phone calls, told Roxy it was better to end things since she “didn’t do” long-distance relationships.
It was over a year now since that devastating phone call, and Roxy hadn’t dated since. One-night stands? Sure. All the time. She’d overindulged in that kind of behavior quite a bit after Amy. The only way to heal was to inure herself from pain by having these meaningless flings. Finally, Hazel and Jazz staged an intervention. They’d wanted to do it sooner but had also been afraid. Afraid of what Roxy had become. They waited until the accident when it finally seemed inevitable.
Because Roxy hadn’t messed up her knee doing something cool like doing tricks on her dirt bike, or something legitimate like loading heavy kayaks onto the truck at work. Nope. She’d screwed up her knee while leaving the apartment of her latest conquest, late on a rainy night that past September, still drunk from the club. She’d stepped badly off a curb that was higher than she’d realized, and because she’d picked up the girl at the club whose number she didn’t have, she had no way of contacting her once she was out of her apartment.
Oh sure.
“None taken,” said Roxy gallantly, finishing off the rest of her beer as though to show just how little offended she was.
Lisa’s Chardonnay was nearly gone, and Tessa was just about to suggest asking for the check, when the door of the snug flew open and a stranger appeared in the doorway.
The person who stood at the entrance to the snug was stunning—and in a completely different way than Lisa.
Her features were open and friendly, with a heart-shaped face, large blue-green eyes, a curvaceous body, and shockingly bright green curly hair that cascaded down her back. Her skin shimmered in the dim light of the pub, somewhere between bronze and copper. She was unusual and fascinating. Tessa could feel her jaw drop open.
“Roxy!” said the stranger, her voice melodious and low, with a hint of a foreign accent. “Here you are!”
“Mo!” Roxy looked white as a sheet.
Tessa was shocked. She didn’t think Roxy knew anyone else here in Ptown. All of a sudden, Tessa was filled with certainty that this must be Roxy’s latest conquest. She was a player, after all. Wasn’t that what Elizabeth had told her a million times? And this beautiful creature must be her most recent. It figured she was only in Ptown three days and she’d managed to find the most beautiful woman on Cape Cod to bed.
Her thoughts flew to this conclusion in mere seconds, and the accompanying emotions filled her with disappointment, confusion, sadness, and anger. Yes, anger. She was angry with herself for even thinking she had a chance with Roxy.
“Please to let me in,” said Mo unceremoniously, gesturing to Lisa to get up.
Lisa, apparently utterly confused at being ordered around by a stranger, got up automatically and Mo slid into the booth. She then gestured back at Lisa to sit down again, which she did.
All of them at the table were immobilized by the appearance of this unusual and stunning stranger who appeared to be quite comfortable in the snug between Roxy and Lisa. Tessa was on pins and needles to know who this person was and her relationship to Roxy. Were all her plans to be with Roxy going to be foiled before she ever had a chance to try?
Chapter Seven—Roxy
“What are you doing here?” said Roxy to Mo in a whisper that she hoped dearly no one else would hear.
“You were gone all day. What was I supposed to do? I am hungry and there is no fish at home.”
Mo clearly hadn’t gotten the message about whispering and answered at full volume.
Roxy looked at her watch.
“Crap. I’m so sorry, Mo. I lost track of time. But I thought we agreed you’d stay in the apartment.”
“I’m tired of the apartment,” said Mo petulantly. How did she learn to whine in human form, wondered Roxy briefly, before her thoughts were interrupted.
“So, Roxy, you going to introduce us, or what?” said Chayo, giving her a rather stern look that Roxy had no idea how to interpret but which immediately made her nervous.
“Oh! Yes. Sorry, uh…” Roxy had no idea what to say, but she had to offer some kind of explanation. She looked over at Tessa and realized that she was watching her carefully. She had to come up with something for Mo. An identity that made sense but that excluded the possibility of a romantic relationship. “Mo is my…sister. I mean cousin. I mean, my sister-cousin. I mean, not like that. Oh God. I mean, we’re so close we could be like sisters. But she’s my cousin.”
The words came out fast and jumbled. It all sounded ridiculous.
“She’s your cousin?” said Lisa, the incredulity dripping off her tongue.
“By marriage,” added Roxy. Fuck. That wasn’t what she’d wanted to say. “We grew up together. So, you know, we’re almost like sisters. Mo is, uh, temporarily homeless. She’s staying with me in Ptown for now.”
Mo nodded. At least she’d cottoned on enough to play along.
“Roxy is my savior. My protector,” added Mo solemnly.
“Wow,” said Tessa with admiration now in her voice. She looked at Roxy, and Roxy felt warm from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. She was certain she was blushing. It’d been a long time since anyone had looked at Roxy with such overt admiration. “You’re quite the hero.”
The heat in Roxy’s face intensified.
“Oh, gee, it was nothing—”
Lisa stood up and interrupted with her queenly voice. “I think I’m ready to go to my lodgings now. Tessa, will you escort me?”
Roxy felt a stab of jealousy go through her. Luckily, Chayo saved the day.
“I’d be happy to show you to your lodgings, Ms. Collins,” she said with more charm than Roxy was prepared for. Chayo opened the snug door, stepped through, and put her hand out to help Lisa out of the snug all in one swift movement. Lisa, who was apparently not quite as rude as Roxy had initially suspected, accepted the offer, if somewhat reluctantly. Roxy noted the look of longing on Lisa’s face that appeared and disappeared just as swiftly. She recognized it from her own romantic misadventures in the past. Was there still something between Lisa and Tessa?
Once Chayo and Lisa were gone, it was much quieter and spacious in the snug. The server came back and cleared away some of the dishes and took an order for a plate of seafood for Mo. Roxy hoped to goodness that she’d be okay eating cooked fish and shrimp as opposed to the raw stuff she’d been wolfing down back at the apartment.
“She is an unpleasant person, is she not?” said Mo matter-of-factly.
“The server?” Roxy was confused.
“No. This…Lisa Collins. She was very rude.” Roxy had to hide a smile. Mo’s own speech came off as condescending and rude.
“I’m so sorry, Tessa. My cousin is very, uh, forthright,” said Roxy.
“It’s okay. Lisa is not for everyone. And she likes to be in charge and get her way.”
“You see?” said Mo, as if Tessa’s affirmation made it all right to say whatever she liked about Lisa.
“Yes, but it’s not nice to say stuff like that about people, Mo. Not with human beings. I mean, you know, my friends?” Roxy tried to emphasize the last word, hoping the significance of the word would impress Mo and really hoping Tessa didn’t notice her weird remark about human beings.
“It’s fine, really, Roxy,” said Tessa, and she gave Roxy’s arm a squeeze. It was the smallest of gestures, but Roxy felt a spark of connection instantly.
“Thanks,” she said, her mind suddenly blank. What had they been talking about?
“What will you be doing here in Provincetown over the winter?” said Tessa.
“I will be helping Roxy. She helped me and I will help her.”
“What will you be helping her with?”
“I will help her find her true—”
“My true calling,” interrupted Roxy before Mo could finish and say, “true love.”
Mo gave her a look of confusion that she answered with a wink. Did mermaids know what a wink meant? It was impossible to know.
The food arrived. Roxy had ordered Mo the grilled catch of the day with garlic sauteed shrimp. Even though she’d just eaten, it all smelled delicious.
Mo wrinkled up her nose at the smell of it though. She picked up a fork, (they’d been practicing at the apartment) awkwardly holding it in her fist, and tried stabbing a piece of shrimp.
“Why is it hot?” asked Mo, looking at Roxy with dismay.
“Just try it!” said Roxy encouragingly. “She, uh, normally mostly eats sushi,” she said to Tessa by way of explanation.
Mo took a small bite of the sauteed shrimp and made a face.
“Ugh! It’s awful.”
“Oh no,” said Tessa. “Is that not what you wanted?” She sounded genuinely concerned, and Roxy had no idea what to do. She couldn’t have Mo eating raw fish right there in the restaurant.
“Maybe try the fish?” said Roxy.
Mo nibbled a bit of the grilled fish. She made a face of disappointment but kept eating.
“This is…better,” she said.
“Oh good,” said Roxy. “Eat up. Maybe the shrimp was too, uh, garlicky.”
“Maybe next time she could try the seared ahi tuna,” suggested Tessa helpfully. “That’s almost like sushi.”
Of course, thought Roxy. Why hadn’t she thought of that?
“Great idea,” she said, giving Tessa a grateful look. She let her gaze linger on Tessa’s face and found that she didn’t look away. Finally, Roxy looked back at Mo, whose eating habits were still rather wild.
“Mo, come on,” she muttered, elbowing her. How someone so beautiful could eat in such a disgusting fashion was beyond Roxy’s comprehension. Bits of fish were all over Mo’s face, and she was eating with gusto now, shoveling fish and even shrimp into her mouth with both hands, the fork abandoned on the table. It would have been funny if it weren’t so utterly disgusting.
What would Tessa think of her now? She stole a glance at Tessa and was relieved to see that Tessa was holding back laughter on her side of the table.
Roxy felt a bubble of laughter in her chest rise up. Suddenly the whole situation seemed completely absurd. There she was, at a pub, with an incredibly attractive woman who was clearly attracted to her as well, and with a mermaid disguised as a human being with terrible table manners.
Before she could stop, a hoot of laughter escaped her mouth. The more she tried to cover her giggles, the harder she was laughing. Soon both she and Tessa were laughing so hard they were clutching at their stomachs and gasping for air.
Finally, Mo finished eating and surveyed them carefully.
“You are laughing? Why so?”
Roxy had no idea what to say. The last thing she wanted was to insult Mo. Who knew how she’d react?
Tessa came to her rescue.
“I’m sorry. I made a funny face at Roxy. It’s my fault. I was…imitating Lisa.”
This explanation made sense to Mo, and she nodded. Her serious demeanor was undercut by the sheen of butter and garlic around her mouth, and Roxy had to work not to start laughing again.
“Yes, Lisa is too serious. She needs to…how do you say? Lighten up.”
At this pronouncement, Roxy felt sure she’d lose it all over again, but Tessa showed herself to be a consummate performer. She nodded along with Mo and kept her expression neutral.
“Yes, I expect that is absolutely true. She could definitely use some help lightening up.” She paused for a moment, as if thinking. “You know, maybe you could help with that, Mo. What do you think? Maybe you could help us out with the play? You could be Lisa’s assistant. That is, if you want to. No pressure. It sounds like you are going through some stuff.”
Roxy wasn’t sure that having Mo at the theater, much less working with someone as clever and discerning as Lisa, was a good idea.
“Wow, that’s such a nice offer, Tessa. Mo and I will talk about it at home,” said Roxy, elbowing Mo hard.
“Ow!” said Mo, rubbing her side. “Why did you do that?”
Roxy put her head in her hands.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause problems,” said Tessa. “Talk it over and let me know. We can always use more help.” She smiled winningly at both of them, and Roxy could feel her heart melt a little more. If only Mo wasn’t so socially inept, this would all be a lot easier.
* * *
Roxy and Tessa settled up soon after that, and they all left the pub. Tessa went to check on Lisa and how she was settling in, and Roxy frog-marched Mo back to the apartment as quickly as possible.
“What is the rush?” said Mo once they were finally back in the studio apartment. She flopped on the bed in a clumsy way that bespoke the fact she was still struggling with her permanent human form.
Roxy pulled up a chair.
“The thing is, you can’t just show up like that when I’m with other people.”
“Why?” She sounded genuinely hurt.
“Because you’re going to give yourself away.”
Mo looked at her blankly.
“As a mer—”
“Don’t say it!”
“Ack, sorry. As a non-human.”
Mo nodded sagely. “I see. So how do I be more human?”
As if that wasn’t the question for the ages.
“Just…try to say nice things. Or don’t say anything at all. People don’t like to hear mean things.”
Mo looked skeptical. “But this means not saying the truth. My people always speak the truth.”
“Try not to think of it as lying…think of it more as being kind.”
Mo mulled this over before finally sitting up and nodding again. “I think I know what you mean. Be nice. Especially to the Lisa Collins. She will be the star of the show, yes?”
Roxy nodded.
“And she is the former lover of Tessa?”
Again, Roxy nodded. Mo narrowed her eyes and studied Roxy carefully. Under her scrutiny, Roxy felt herself blush. She thought in that moment of Tessa, sitting across from her in the snug, eyes sparkling, face flushed with laughter, looking beautiful.
“And you are in love with Tessa!”
“What!?”
Mo wore a triumphant grin, pointing at Roxy to emphasize her conclusion.
“Yes, I see it. You love her and she loves you.”
“That’s not possible, Mo. We barely know each other.”
Mo clearly didn’t believe her. She sat back on the couch, arms folded across her chest, looking pleased as punch.
“Seriously, Mo, that’s not how human love works. Love at first sight—that’s just nonsense. Sure, I mean, I like Tessa. I’m interested in her. And I think she’s interested in me. Maybe. I dunno.” She threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Now that her ex-fiancée is here, an actual Broadway star, maybe they will get back together. Isn’t that how it always is—the star of the show and the director?”
Mo looked at her blankly.
Of course she had no clue what Roxy was talking about. How could she? She could have no way of knowing what Broadway was or what it meant that Lisa was both beautiful and famous—and probably rich, too.
Comprehension dawned on Mo’s features. “I see. You are worried that Tessa loves Lisa.” She chuckled in that odd manner that Roxy hadn’t yet gotten used to. Her chuckles sounded more like a seal barking than anything remotely human. “You are so silly!” She threw her head back and barked ever more loudly.
Finally, the laughter stopped, and Mo looked again at Roxy with a look of incredulity and humor.
“Can you please explain to me why you’re laughing? Am I being unreasonable right now?”
“Yes, of course you are unreasonable. It is so obvious that Tessa loves you, not Lisa.”
Hope began to take shape again in Roxy’s breast. “Are you sure?”
Mo nodded and smiled warmly. “Yes, clear to me as water. She looks only at you.”
Roxy’s heart fluttered a bit, and she involuntarily touched her arm where Tessa had squeezed it a mere hour earlier.
“See? You know it. And you love her too.”
“Okay but, Mo…you really have to say ‘like,’ not ‘love.’ You have to know someone a long time to love them. First like, then love.”
Mo gave her a look as though she’d just grown a second head. “That is the most ridiculous thing you’ve said so far, Roxy.”
“Fine, whatever. I thought we were talking about how to make sure you pass for human, anyway.”
“Of course, of course,” said Mo, her gaze still steady on Roxy, as though trying to make her out, like a puzzle. “Talking to you is already helping me understand the humans.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Oh yes. I see. Humans do not want to say their true feelings. They say what is not true to hide what they really feel. I do not yet understand why that is. Why hide feelings? My people do not do this.”
“Clearly.”
Mo continued as if Roxy hadn’t spoken. Maybe mermaids didn’t understand sarcasm.
“Maybe humans are scared to say true feelings?”
“You might just be on to something,” said Roxy. She paced around the living room, trying to give Mo’s question a real answer. “We’re scared. All the time. We don’t want to be rejected. We don’t want to tell people how we really feel because what if they don’t feel the same way? Then it hurts even more.”
Roxy paused, her mind suddenly miles away from Provincetown and the tiny apartment and Mo. Her mind drifted back to her most recent ex. The one she thought was finally the One. She and Amy had seemed so perfect for one another. They’d met two summers ago doing the kayak tours. It had been a novelty to have a girlfriend who was “outdoorsy” like her. It had all seemed so easy and perfect and wonderful, and Roxy found herself falling in love not long after meeting Amy. All her relationships before that suddenly felt like nothing—mere infatuation. This was the real thing.
She’d let herself say “I love you” to Amy mere weeks after they started dating. After all, it hadn’t felt like mere weeks. They’d spent nearly every day together, working together during the day, sleeping in one another’s arms at night, spending every waking minute talking together, dreaming together.
But Amy never said “I love you” back. When the summer ended, Amy returned to California and grad school and, after a few phone calls, told Roxy it was better to end things since she “didn’t do” long-distance relationships.
It was over a year now since that devastating phone call, and Roxy hadn’t dated since. One-night stands? Sure. All the time. She’d overindulged in that kind of behavior quite a bit after Amy. The only way to heal was to inure herself from pain by having these meaningless flings. Finally, Hazel and Jazz staged an intervention. They’d wanted to do it sooner but had also been afraid. Afraid of what Roxy had become. They waited until the accident when it finally seemed inevitable.
Because Roxy hadn’t messed up her knee doing something cool like doing tricks on her dirt bike, or something legitimate like loading heavy kayaks onto the truck at work. Nope. She’d screwed up her knee while leaving the apartment of her latest conquest, late on a rainy night that past September, still drunk from the club. She’d stepped badly off a curb that was higher than she’d realized, and because she’d picked up the girl at the club whose number she didn’t have, she had no way of contacting her once she was out of her apartment.
