Sanctity, page 3
The observation deck was on the uppermost part of the Padua. It had a domed ceiling that remained transparent when we were moving at normal speed. When we engaged the star drive, it changed to opaque so no one would get motion sickness while watching the stars. This was where the crew unwound after a long shift. It had a bar that served light foods and alcohol.
When we arrived, only a few tables were occupied, and the atmosphere was hushed. I could see that most people were hunched over and staring distantly out the windows.
Dr Cayne was right that everyone needed time to rest. Most of the occupants gave a half-hearted wave, then went back to their quiet conversations. Had I been so caught up in my own maelstrom I’d lost track of everyone else?
“Whatever thoughts are floating around in your head, lose them,” Gratch demanded. “It was a shitty time, and we’re all still feeling it.”
“You were right in the thick of it as well, Trest. Just because we didn’t see what you were going through while we were dealing with the asshole former captain, didn’t mean we weren’t thinking of you. You were the glue holding Padua together, and we knew that. We hated that we couldn’t help you.” Wild sprawled in his chair, sipping his amber-coloured whisky. “We’re here now. Everything is mostly fine, as long as you explain what the fuck happened.”
“She’s in a tank,” I muttered, sipping at my own drink. The alcohol burned, but it felt good. I looked up at the dome and gazed at the stars overhead. “Wasn’t much I could do.”
“You did something. She should have been out of control and completely feral. StarGods know what would have happened if you weren’t there. So you did a thing, an amazing thing, and now the adrenaline’s all gone.” Wild pointed his drink at me and made eye contact. “You should have come to see us.”
“I think he did more than a thing. And I think it fucked him up badly,” Gratch said from his seat. “You talk to Padua all the time, right?”
“Not anymore. She dumped my ass.” I covered my mouth quickly and slid on my seat to escape. Gratch shifted his mass slightly, blocking me in. “Gratch, let me go.”
“Seriously? You had a bond with Padua?” Wild set his glass on the table and leaned forward. He studied me as though I was one of his animals. Every inch of my face received a considering look. “Jax, Padua needs a mechanique to bond. You’re from the Terran system, right?”
“Yes, you know that.” I made another attempt at leaving, but pressure from Gratch’s knee refused to let me go. “Dammit, this is against the code.”
“There is no code, or you broke it first by not saying anything.” Wild hummed. “Can Terrans bond with ship’s hearts? Like, full-blood Terrans? I’ve never heard of it happening before.”
“It’s not on record, as far as I know. I imagine an Asyran or Maternai would know.” Gratch swung his leg away from mine and smiled toothily. “Good thing you’ll be hanging out with all the Asyrans, eh?”
“Good thing, for sure.” Wild smiled wickedly and toasted me. “Have fun on the StarStation, Jaxy.”
CHAPTER 4
Once everyone had received notice that we were staying on StarStation 86 for an extended visit, we made good time getting there. People were anxious for something better—a better environment, a better atmosphere than what we had. Exhaustion and stress permeated every part of the Padua.
The Chalcedon escorted us to the large waypoint station. I had never actually seen a StarStation before, and I had to admit, I was awestruck. It was more of an arcology than a station. Home to hundreds of people, it had everything one required to live. StarStation 86 had been created jointly by the three major planetary governments to harness the power of Barnard’s Star’s energy. It flared almost constantly, and people said they could set a clock by its flares.
Located near the northernmost portion of a blue gas giant, StarStation 86 was considered a power-generating station, harvesting the gases from Barnard’s Star as well as the giant planet the station orbited. It was also a popular tourist destination. All these factors accounted for its size. It was an honour to enjoy a vacation in such a unique place.
Mind you, I would have been happy staying on the Padua and continuing with my tasks. Working while processing was an acceptable way to power through or ignore one’s emotions. Gratch and Wild didn’t agree, however, and strongarmed me into the shuttle when we were called to disembark.
“We want you better. We want you to be able to work with Collins and Padua without animosity. So, the sooner you talk to a counsellor, the better.”
“Please call us,” Wild begged. “We’ve been assigned to watch over the ensigns and lieutenants who are on their first ship leave to make sure they’re okay and not cracking under the sudden freedom. They’ve been under so much pressure. The captain just wants them to have someone around to talk to if need be. It’s going to be hell.” With one more pat on the back and a clasp on the shoulders, my friends went to a different shuttle and left me to my own devices.
Getting off the tiny shuttle was a blessing. The ride from the Padua to StarStation 86 was a short hop with a hard stop. Whoever was flying the shuttle was obviously unfamiliar with docking procedures, especially since StarStation 86 used electromagnets for smoother contact between vessels. I rubbed my shoulder where the harness had dug in and grumbled under my breath.
Taking my duffle bag and slinging it over my shoulder, I found myself alone in a crowd of excited visitors. People were exclaiming and hugging or calling out to one another. It was loud. I looked out over everyone, trying to locate my escort.
The disembarkation area was overwhelmingly opulent. The VCC didn’t spare any expense when it came to decking out their StarStation. Everything was top-of-the-line and working perfectly. It was completely opposite of the Padua. I felt embarrassed with my grubby duffle and worn uniform. How I was going to feel relaxed and comfortable enough to open up was anyone’s guess.
A young Picxie with fluttering gossamer wings who was standing on a bollard began waving their arms wildly when they saw that they had my attention. They were tiny, maybe a foot tall, with bright green hair coiled into two tidy buns. Their skin was a warm mint colour. I stepped toward them and returned the salute.
“Commander Trest? My name is Ensign Fis Hyea. I am of the female variety, so you may address me as she. I am here to escort you to the Soothing Star Retreat.”
I smiled tiredly. The Picxie’s bright enthusiasm and adherence to protocol were eye-opening. I had been expecting a quiet therapist or even a low-key disembarkation zone. “Nice to meet you, Ensign. I am Commander Trest, and I am of the male variety, so you may address me as he.”
Picxies were a secondary sentient species found on one of Asyra’s moons. They were shy creatures most of the time. They also learned to adapt to how different races reacted. Picxies had many genders and loved discovering new identities. They understood that Terrans from Sol still had a difficult time processing multiple genders and greeted them with their preferred one right on introductions.
“Are there always so many people in the arrival area?” I asked the ensign.
Hyea flew at my shoulder and silently led me through the throngs of people to a large bank of elevators near the centre of the room. An open cavity yawned beside it, and I looked cautiously down. It went on forever, making me shudder at how precarious it was.
Hyea pinched my ear and scolded me. “Don’t go so near. The force field surrounding the centre cavity only protects so much. But to answer your question, this is nothing. We had a massive rush of holiday visitors last week, and they just left. This is barely a teaspoon of what we normally get. Now behave.”
I shivered at the idea of having more people in my space. The amount right now was stressful. “Is it crowded on the other decks?”
Hyea pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side as she thought. “Not really? Maybe in the tourist hotspots? But your retreat is not for the regular tourists. It’s a combination of a decompression retreat and high-end spa for high-ranking executives and officers. You should be safe from the dreaded people.”
When we got to the elevator banks, she flew off, then stood on a platform, likely built for the Picxies. She flashed her badge and rapidly tapped buttons, and soon the elevator doors slid open. Another platform was on the inside, and she lazily flew over and sat down, dangling her legs over the edge. The ride was silent, and it was the first bit of quiet peacefulness I’d had since I entered the station.
“When we get to the right floor, the elevator will open up to the central reception area,” Hyea explained. “There is a main deck as well as a concierge area. It’s organized sort of like a wheel with spokes leading off to various areas of the retreat—conference rooms, dining halls, the spa, as well as one level of guest quarters. I believe you will be on a different deck than this one. Less interruptions for you.”
“It’s quite the thing, then?” I asked hoarsely. The nerves in my stomach jangled, and I knew if I kept thinking about the reason I was here as well as all the other people, I was going to be sick. Why would they send me to a place like this alone? It wasn’t helpful to my state of mind; it was a hindrance.
“Yes, but from what I’ve heard, it is pretty soothing. And it’s run by androids and Asyrans. Have you met either before?” Hyea asked kindly.
I shook my head. Most people on the Padua were Terran and Maternai. We had never hosted anyone from Asyra or any other carbon-based planet. I had a passing thought that Knight had done that on purpose to keep us isolated.
“They are really quite nice. You know that they are empaths? They don’t mean to read your emotions, but sometimes it’ll happen. Try not to be insulted. They just want to help. The androids are typical run-of-the-mill ones. Flat, knowledgeable.” Hyea shrugged as she thought. She sprang up when the car stopped moving and the doors opened. “And we’re here!”
She flew in front of me and began speaking rapidly again. “So the retreat is on the seventy-fifth floor of the station. You will have an amazing view of the gas giant through any of the windows. There is an atmosphere event going on right now, so you should be able to witness some auroras in the latter portion of the day.”
I stopped and gazed out the window made of tempered alumino-silicate glass overlooking the massive blue planet. Swirls of clouds drifted across its surface. It was mesmerizing. “How does the station power itself? I heard they can harness energy from the planet.” My interest in all things energy-related made itself known after weeks of ennui and personal devastation. “Do you think the commodore would allow me to have a look-see at the control centre and engineering?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?” Hyea asked sternly. “I’m pretty sure I saw a message in your file saying you were here for rest and recuperation. How is going to engineering resting?”
“But it’s not about work. It’s about… I don’t know, hobbies?” I twirled my hands around, trying to articulate to Hyea about my interest in star drives and power conduits. “Anyway, I’d go insane if I sat around doing nothing.”
“You’re not supposed to do those things! The higher-ups want you to get massages, look at the auroras, and decompress!” She flew in front of me and hovered gracefully. “No more work talk! Now, the reception desk is straight ahead. I have to escort another crew member to somewhere else. Remember, Commander, relaxing is a good thing. You’re on vacation.”
My room was exactly as advertised in the video brochure Sartris sent me before I left the Padua. The colour was a soothing grey-blue with light wood accents. The bed dominated the interior wall, while the showcase was the exterior windows on the opposite side. The window went from wall to wall and from the ceiling to the midpoint, giving me an impossibly beautiful view of the planet. The gases on the surface swirled in a lazy haze, sending me into a hypnotic trance.
Stepping away from the window took effort, but exploring the rest of the suite called to me. I wanted to know what other amenities were available and if this place would really help me. The bathing room was sumptuous and almost too much, with its oversized tub and rainfall showerheads. Living plants were draped on shelves, lush and green while giving off soothing scents. I stood there breathing, and peace actually came to me. I had a brief moment where I wasn’t a doom-and-gloom person. I was content.
The comm-link echoed in the main room, disengaging me from my moment. “Hello?”
“Good afternoon, Commander Trest. This is the concierge, Thomas. We would like to formally welcome all guests in the reception room at 16:00 hours. Finger foods and beverages will be available. Dinner will follow soon after.”
The station followed a circadian cycle, using the Sol model. It allowed people from most Virgo Cluster ships to create schedules and adjust to a similar pattern. The Padua had followed it loosely but was subject to the former captain’s whims. Knight had his own ideas on how to run a ship, and sometimes it didn’t make sense.
“Thank you, Thomas. What’s the, um, dress code?” I asked, closing my eyes and cringing. This was why I didn’t like solo vacations. Itineraries threw me off, and the hosts always frowned when you questioned anything or deviated from the prescribed schedule.
“You do not need to wear your uniform. Business casual is preferred. But we at the Soothing Star Retreat want all our guests to be comfortable in whatever clothing suits their person as long as their private areas are covered,” Thomas answered and immediately disconnected the link. It was so abrupt I had to look at the speaker to see if it was broken.
The idea of socializing outside my crew made the butterflies in my stomach start flapping their wings in tandem. I wanted to return Thomas’s call and cancel my acceptance. I despised walking into a room alone. Ensign Hyea’s mention of Asyrans and their empathic capabilities made me anxious and worried. I knew it was going to be a terrible evening all around. I wished Gratch or Wild was with me to help pave my way.
Changing from my standard green uniform into dress slacks and a soft sweater was a challenge. I had to give myself a pep talk to do it. The sweater was made from soft alpacama wool hand-crocheted by my grandmother. It was a reminder of home and always gave me great comfort. Staring at myself in the mirror, I finally understood what Sartris meant when he’d asked if I’d lost weight. I was a skeleton of my normal self. Instead of the healthy peachy colour I normally had, I was pale and drawn, with dark circles under my eyes. My brown hair hung in my face, in desperate need of a cut. Who was this person, and when did I become him?
A knock at the door drew me out of my self-reflection. I wondered briefly if Thomas knew to come to my room and escort me to the reception. Cautious and a bit wary, I opened the door and found myself staring at a rainbow-hued person. Based on their noticeable height and narrow face, the long pastel-coloured hair, I knew they had to be Asyran. Their eyes were a merry shade of violet and blue, blending in swirls and patterns. I was gobsmacked by their beauty.
“Hi, I know this is likely a bit confusing and possibly scary, but I was sent here by Thomas to escort you. My name is Zoagashta, and I am part of the staff here on the station.”
“Why? Did Thomas not think I was going to show up?” My hackles and suspicions rose as I thought about an android assuming so much about me and actually being correct in their assumptions.
“Ah, no. That’s definitely not why he sent me. He kicked me out of the main lobby. He said I was annoying him and therefore he was unable to concentrate. Can you imagine that? An android unable to concentrate?” They smiled enchantingly before continuing with their rapid speech. “I offered to escort anyone who had just arrived and didn’t know how to get around the decks of the retreat quite yet. You’re starting to get that confused look on your face. Am I going too fast?”
“Yes?” I knew I sounded awful and completely like a space bumpkin. My only excuse was I was completely baffled and entranced by this Asyran. Their joyfulness was endearing, and their easy smile and kind eyes drew me to them. I wanted to do things. And that right there confused me. I wasn’t that person. I never wanted to do things to people or with people. But Zoagashta had me curious.
CHAPTER 5
Zoagashta stepped out of the room and waited for me to catch up. Then they led me to the main lobby, and I took the time to study it properly now. It had a cathedral-style ceiling with a large crystal chandelier. Each of the dewdrop crystals gleamed with different colours, depending on where I stood. It was neat and distracting. I hoped to have a chance to see how it worked. The exterior circumference of the room was all windows, and we had a view of the blue giant on one side and a view of the docking stations on the other. Watching the various types of ships coming into port was another tempting possibility to fill my time. I loved seeing different ships and their designs.
People from various ships and planets were beginning to gather in the lobby without the help of finger foods or alcohol. Zoagashta kept up a running commentary as we walked along. They pointed out what planet people came from if it was obvious, like the Picxies and Oweklas. If they were Terran in appearance, Zoagashta would hazard a guess or have me answer. StarStation 86 served as a stop-off point for many different planets. It was the only large station in this region of Barnard’s Star system. Zoagashta also explained why the Soothing Star Retreat held an intimate gathering on people’s first night. They wanted people (like me) to feel comfortable enough to approach others once outside the retreat for excursions and help.
“It’s one of my favourite occasions at the Soothing Star. The restless and nervous energy that gives way to curiosity and friendship. People are usually so open with one another at the end of the night,” Zoagashta whispered to me.
I nodded readily, but inwardly I didn’t want to agree. I wasn’t here to make friends. I didn’t want to be part of any groups. I wanted my life back. I wanted this ache inside me to disappear. I raged at Padua, and I hated what she had done to me.
