Vendetta, page 18
‘Yes, you put that well, Mia. Luiz was a good man, and we were all close to him. I think it’s terrible that he decided the only way he could cope was by killing himself, but I want to remember the good things about him. While I told you that stuff about my suspicions about him, I have to say that he saved many of our guys, by finding the enemy before they found us.’
‘About that,’ Mia glanced over her shoulder as she drove, ‘I want you to know that you have my word that I won’t repeat anything you told me to anyone.’
‘Thank you.’ He gave a little laugh. ‘I have to tell you that Lisa was worried that you might go off and sell your story to the news media after I confided in you, but I told her I didn’t think you were that sort of person.’
‘Thank you. I have a question, though – a personal one, if you don’t mind?’
‘Fire away,’ he said as they came across a herd of springbok making for a nearby waterhole.
Mia stopped and turned off the engine. ‘Why did you tell me that stuff about Luiz? You said you’d never told anyone else.’
‘That’s true.’
‘Not even your wife?’ she pressed.
‘No. We’re not really close, emotionally or – well, generally.’
‘Oh. I’m so sorry I pried. We’re not supposed to ask such personal questions, as guides, unless guests volunteer stuff about their families. Forgive me.’
‘It’s fine, don’t worry at all. I guess Evan and I fall into a slightly different category than your normal run-of-the-mill guest, in that we have a personal connection to you and we’re not actually here for a holiday. Although, I have to say it almost feels like one because I’m enjoying this so much – especially being on safari with a knowledgeable, wonderful person.’
Mia blushed. ‘Thank you.’ Tony was old enough to be her father, but he was handsome and charming and honest – even about not getting on with her dad. She did not think he was trying to give her a pickup line; it was probably just that in his line of work he was used to complimenting strangers to win them over. And, even then, he’d done it without it feeling contrived.
‘You can ask me anything, Mia. Trust me, I’ve probably heard it before.’
She laughed. She was dying to ask about his wife, but didn’t dare cross that line again.
‘What would you do differently, if, say, the DA was actually able to win government?’
‘That’s a very good question,’ he said.
Mia set off again and drove at a steady pace, listening intently – to him and the desert – but still scanning for game.
‘As leader,’ he went on, ‘the first thing I would do is give myself a pay cut.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. It wouldn’t be a big one.’
Mia laughed again.
‘But I’d cut out perks and excessive government spending. It’s true that some politicians in South Africa, and probably some of the people we’d like to see recruited to parliament, are not wealthy individuals, so we need to make sure that our politicians get a decent wage, but they, and the people, must be totally disavowed of the idea that power brings wealth.’
‘I agree with that,’ Mia said. ‘I’ve seen political conferences hosted at hotels, and even at Julianne’s other lodges, and the spending and consumption is almost obscene. It’s lobster and Johnny Walker Blue Label all the way.’
‘Exactly. That and the Blue Light brigades – minor politicians travelling in a convoy of expensive cars, forcing citizens off the road. I’d also stop politicians using the annual opening of parliament as a fashion parade to show off their new designer clothes and bling. This stuff belongs in corrupt banana republics of the past. Politicians must be what they call “servant leaders” these days. They should have a mindset that they exist to better the lot of the average person, not make money off them or flaunt their new-found wealth. There will be people on all sides of politics who won’t like this, and who will disagree with me.’
‘But the people would love it,’ Mia said.
‘I’d increase the minimum wage, which would not be popular with big business, but I’d seek a trade-off from the trade union movements, with a promise of no unnecessary strikes, and I’d make it easier for overseas companies that offered more jobs to invest in South Africa. I’d also set up a truly independent anti-corruption body.’
‘Sounds like you might make as many enemies as you make friends.’ She looked back at him.
Tony smiled and nodded. ‘I’ll let you in on another secret.’
‘You sure you want to trust me?’
He laughed. ‘I’ve already done that. I figure I’d have one term in office, at best. It’s likely some in my own party, who already see me as too moderate and too progressive, would vote me out. But if I can achieve real change, Mia – if I can make it harder for politicians to be corrupt or abuse their positions of power, and create more jobs – then we’ll never look back.’
‘Wow,’ she said. ‘You’d fight your way to the top, knowing that you’d only have a few years?’
He nodded. ‘Yes, but it would be worth it. My life has been good, but I’m unfulfilled in so many ways. I’d like to retire before I get voted out, and to start a new life, with someone else, doing something really worthwhile. I’d really like to get involved with wildlife conservation.’
‘You really are baring all, aren’t you?’
Mia saw a pair of ostriches and, as she slowed, noticed more at their feet. She stopped. ‘Look at the chicks.’ Running around between the two adults were a dozen or more tiny birds.
‘Beautiful,’ Tony said. ‘And yes, I have told you a lot. I feel like you’re a trustworthy person, Mia, and even though your dad and I didn’t always see eye to eye, he was honest. He told it like it was and he cared for the men under his command. As a soldier, you couldn’t ask for more.’
Mia felt a lump rise in her throat. ‘Thank you. It’s lovely of you to say that and, as I said before, your secrets are safe with me. Can I ask you something else personal?’
‘I said you could. I’d like you to, in fact.’
She wondered why. Now that they were stopped, she turned in her seat so she could see him properly. ‘You said just then that you wanted to start another life with another person. Are things bad with your wife?’
‘No, not bad, just not workable long-term.’
Mia’s sleazy-old-man radar fired up. ‘Khaki Fever’, where women fell for their attractive young male safari guides, was a well-known malaise in her industry and, while it was less common, it was not unheard of for female guides to attract uninvited attention and advances, too. She’d been hit on by a couple of married male guests in the past. Usually their pickup routine started with a line about how their wives did not understand them.
‘How so?’ she said, ready to drop this conversation and return to strictly guide–client rules in a heartbeat. But, at the same time, her heart was pounding.
‘She’s gay.’
‘Oh.’
Tony laughed. ‘Don’t look so shocked.’
‘I’m not . . . I mean, I am, but . . .’ Why the hell is he telling me all this?
‘My wife had a good friend – they went to varsity together – and Elize, her friend, later came out and left her husband. She and my wife, Sanette, have always been close and, well, it turned out they’d both had feelings for each other when they were younger, but neither had felt it right or proper to act on them. They both came from strict, Christian Afrikaans families. They ended up having an affair. I found out by accident. I had the flu and pulled out of a party meeting I had to attend in Cape Town and, well, found them.’
‘Oh my gosh. I’m sorry.’
Tony nodded. ‘It was quite a shock, I’m telling you. Not only did I question what we had together, but it made me question myself, as a man. At the time, quite selfishly, I was trying to work out what was wrong with me, but it turned out that living that way, in love with another woman, was actually right for Sanette.’
‘What did you do? I’ve seen in the newspapers and online – even just the other day when I googled you, there was a story about you and your wife and kids and how happy you all were, or seemed.’
‘We are happy, Mia, just not in a conventional way. Sanette said and still says she loves me and she wants me to have my shot at leadership of the party, and to go to an election in a strong position, not just for my own benefit, but for the good of the party. Elize feels the same way – she’s actually a very active member of my own local DA branch, ironically.’ He gave a little laugh, but Mia could tell this must have been terribly difficult for him, and for all of them.
‘So what happened?’
‘The three of us, and our kids now that they’re old enough to understand these things, have accepted that Sanette and Elize will be a couple someday soon, and that Sanette will carry on as if nothing’s changed for the moment, at least until the next general election. In most ways things are still the same. She and I still love each other, although in a different way now, and we live together as a family. The deal is that after the election Sanette and I will separate, publicly. If the DA loses, which is the most likely outcome, we’ll do it once the dust settles. If I’ve been elected leader prior to the election, then I’ll most likely be replaced by the party when we lose. If the almost unimaginable happens and we win, then Sanette has agreed to keep up our arrangement for a year, and then we’ll split.’
‘Wow. Again.’
‘Sanette and Elize see each other, often, and with me away on the campaign trail they have time together. We brought up our children to be respectful to all people, regardless of race, religion or how they identify sexually, so they’re all on board with the plan.’
‘And you?’
Tony smiled. ‘I’m very busy, Mia. The deal is that if I meet someone then I’m free to do what I want, discreetly. If I told you how many politicians I know are actually having supposedly secret affairs, you’d be shocked.’
Mia remembered something. He’d revealed so much, she did not think one more question would hurt. ‘Last night I was walking one of the waiting staff home to her accommodation after everyone had left after dinner, and we went past Lisa’s tent just as she was opening her door and walking out onto her stoep. She told me she was just getting some fresh air and I reminded her of the rule about not walking anywhere after dark. Was she . . . ?’
‘You’re very perceptive, Mia. Yes, Lisa and I have slept together a few times. Last night, probably just after you and your workmate had gone, I went to her tent. I’m very sorry we broke the rules. Anyway, the other thing that happened last night was that we agreed to end the physical side of our relationship. Or, rather, I broke it off.’
‘Why? She’s beautiful and she seems so smart, so driven, so committed.’
‘She is all of those things. However, Lisa’s made it clear she does not want an ongoing relationship with me, or any other man in the near future. She wants to pursue a political career of her own and doesn’t want to be seen as the woman who slept her way into parliament, or to be the wife of a party leader. Like you say, she’s driven, but not by love.’
She looked into his eyes and saw a mix of longing and sadness there. Mia was bowled over by all that he’d told her. It was as if he needed to tell all of this to someone who would be politically neutral, non-judgemental. She had an incredible urge to give him a hug, but fortunately there was a solid firewall between the driver’s compartment of the Land Rover and the seats behind her.
‘Thank you, Mia.’
‘What for?’
‘For listening.’
Mia nodded. ‘People think my job is all about looking, scanning the bush or the desert, looking for wild animals or their tracks on the ground, but it’s also about listening. You can tell when a predator is nearby from the alarm calls various birds and animals make, and the roar of a lion; a leopard’s grunting can also tell you who else is around. I’m like the bartender of the bush – part of my job is to listen.’
Tony raised an eyebrow. ‘While people pour their hearts out to you?’
‘Not always, but sometimes. The bush has a way of stripping the layers off people, of bringing them back to basics and what’s important.’
He nodded and looked around them. ‘Yes, with all this openness there’s nowhere to hide.’
‘Exactly. Would you like a cup of coffee or tea? We can take our drinks break wherever you like.’
‘That would be lovely,’ he said.
‘We should leave this little family alone.’ Mia started the engine and drove off, leaving the ostriches. Along the way she spotted some hartebeest, so they stopped and looked for a while, then she headed along a road that led up a steep incline.
At the top of the hill were the remains of a small stone building. She parked and they got out.
‘What is this place?’ Tony held a hand up to his brow to shield his eyes from the glare and looked out over the expansive view.
‘It’s an old farmhouse from around the end of the First World War. There’s a few of these in the nearby national park, the Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park, as well. Early in the war the South African army was given the job, by Britain, of taking South West Africa from the Germans. The advancing soldiers dug wells along the way – there’s one here – and after the war these little outposts were given to returning soldiers so they could set up farms. Imagine living out here.’
‘It’s so desolate,’ Tony said. ‘So lonely.’
‘Yes,’ Mia agreed, ‘but I like it.’
He spun to look at her. ‘I love it.’
She laughed. ‘Really? Out here in the middle of nowhere?’
‘It’s my dream, sometimes. Like I said, I know I’ll have a political shelf life, whatever happens at the next election, and when that part of my life is over, what I really want is to live somewhere totally wild, away from politics, big business, malls, people.’
‘Wow,’ she found herself saying yet again. It was a time of surprises. ‘I feel the same way. It’s why I always ask guests to “imagine living out here”. Most of them say they couldn’t handle it.’
‘With the right person, this would be paradise.’
Mia had often thought the same. She’d just never found the right person. She went to the rear of the Land Rover, dropped the tailgate under the last row of seats and hauled out a cooler box.
‘Let me help you,’ Tony said.
‘I’m fine, thanks. Though I’ve usually got a tracker to help . . .’ She tailed off, realising she’d just been thinking of Luiz. ‘Sorry.’
‘Not a problem,’ Tony said. ‘I haven’t forgotten Luiz, and the reason I’m here, but I’d be lying if I said this was anything other than bliss.’
He took one side of the box and they set it on the ground while Mia flipped up a folding table built into the Land Rover’s front bumper bar. She locked the table in place and produced a white linen tablecloth and insulated flasks and cups from the cooler box. She also took out some jars.
‘We’ve got rusks, cookies and some mini quiches which are still warm, wrapped in foil. Coffee?’
‘I’d love a cup,’ Tony said.
Mia poured hot water into a plunger and made Tony and herself a cup each. ‘Milk?’
‘Yes, but no sugar,’ he said.
‘I do have Amarula if you’d prefer,’ she said.
He laughed. ‘At this time of day?’
‘You’d be surprised,’ Mia said. ‘I’ve also got champagne in the other cooler box and some guests even want a brandy and Coke at this time of day.’
‘True nature lovers, I’m sure,’ he said dryly.
She laughed.
‘Actually . . . maybe I will have a little splash of Amarula. What the hell; there’s no paparazzi hiding behind a rock anywhere here.’
‘Coming right up.’ Mia unscrewed the cap on a miniature bottle and poured the cream liqueur, distilled from the fruit of the marula tree, into Tony’s cup before handing it to him.
He took a sip. ‘Mmm, delightfully decadent. Will you join me?’
Mia shook her head. ‘Not while I’m on duty.’
‘Understood. Maybe I can buy you a glass of wine at dinner tonight?’
She smiled. ‘You know all local drinks on your bill are included in your rate.’
‘I know, but I also saw that there’s a premium wine list. I’d just like to let you know how much I appreciate you being my guide.’
‘You don’t need to do something like that for me, Tony. But thank you.’ Mia felt a little flutter. If he was trying to make a move on her, then he was doing a good job. She sipped her coffee and told herself to keep her wits about her. ‘Any requests for the rest of the game drive?’
‘Honestly, I’m just enjoying being out here.’
They each had a rusk and a quiche and finished their coffee. Tony helped Mia pack the cooler box into the Land Rover and they took a quick look around the abandoned farmhouse. It was tiny – one room with a hearth and the remains of a chimney.
‘Cosy,’ he said.
Mia was acutely aware of his presence when they were inside the little ruined house. He took care, she could see, not to stand too close to her, but she could smell his aftershave.
Tony looked around the four walls, then at her. ‘Bliss,’ he said again.
She smiled, but couldn’t think of anything to say in reply.
Tony gestured to the doorway opening. ‘Shall we?’
‘Yes, of course.’
They went back to the Land Rover. ‘Mia?’
‘Yes?’ she said as she got in behind the wheel.
‘Would it be OK if I sat next to you, in the passenger seat, rather than in the game-viewing seats behind? It seems a little odd, since it’s just the two of us.’
She moved her birding book and her binoculars off the passenger seat and into the cubby box next to her. She smiled. ‘I think I’d like that, Tony.’
