Checking Holly Twice, page 11
No, don’t think crazy. My romantic nature was going to get me into trouble yet again.
I returned my attention to my mashed potatoes where it belonged.
We finished dinner and the dishes and then went into the living room to enjoy the fire. Forest put on music and the kids went back to playing cards. This is what families without televisions did, I thought. How strange that so much of my life involved something they knew nothing about.
“O Holy Night” came on the radio.
“Dance with me?” Forest asked.
I went into his arms, and we danced together to the lovely notes of Beyoncé’s amazing rendition of one of my favorite songs. As though we were teenagers, I had my arms around his neck and he had his wrapped about my waist. The fire washed everything in a warm orange light. Candles flickered and filled the air with the scent of vanilla. Snow fell outside at a lazy pace, as if the wide flakes were in no hurry to reach their destination. Moxie had come in from the kitchen to lie down in front of the fire and fallen asleep. Perhaps dreaming of bunnies, she twitched her yellow tail occasionally.
This might be my most perfect moment, I thought. Nothing would ever fill me with such peace as this. I’d hold this one dear for the rest of my life.
“This was the perfect day,” I whispered in his ear.
“For me too.”
We danced to another song before the children asked if we’d like to play a game of Candy Land with them. Not wanting to disappoint although I could have danced all night with Forest Sully, we joined them on the floor. Three games later, Ruby yawned. It was almost nine. Way past their bedtime. I shivered in anticipation of what Forest and I would do once they were asleep.
“Time for bed,” Forest said. “You’ve all stayed up way past your bedtime, and you were up very early.”
Ruby yawned again, reminding me of the kittens. “Holly, you’re coming to tuck us in too, right?”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” I said.
We all trudged upstairs. While Forest supervised their bedtime routine, I brushed my teeth and washed my face and then headed down to the kids’ room. I’d never felt comfortable enough with any man to let him see me without makeup. With Forest, I knew he liked me with or without lipstick. I’m not sure why it was different with him, but it was.
The kids were already in bed when I came in. Forest had just given them a goodnight kiss. I did the same. “I’ll see you both in the morning,” I said.
Ruby’s eyes had closed. She would be asleep before we even left the room.
“Night,” Dane said, sounding as sleepy as his sister.
We walked out to the hallway. Forest shut the door behind us and then pressed me up against the wall and kissed me hard. He tasted deliciously of mint toothpaste. I guess he had the same idea as I. No reason not to head to bed as soon as we got the kids down for what I hoped was a sound sleep. His hands made their way up the skirt of my dress. “You’re all I can think about,” he said.
“Let’s go to my room.”
“Lead the way.” As if we were magnetized together, he broke apart from me and practically dragged me down the hall to my room.
10
Forest
First thing the day after Christmas, I had called Mrs. Knight to see if she’d stay with the kids for an hour or so. Holly and I had agreed to head into the bank and deposit the check. She’d called her financial adviser and he’d explained that it would save a lot of hassle if she went in with me. It wasn’t every day that someone wrote a check for that amount of money.
The entire ordeal at the bank had left me exhausted. Everything had been further complicated by the exchanges rates and depositing United States dollars into a Canadian account. Thankfully, I didn’t know the bank manager personally. As grateful as I was, it was embarrassing to be bailed out of my debt by someone. I was hot and sweaty during the entire transaction. I got a lot less so when I arranged for the entire sum of my mortgage to be paid in full.
When I got home, I’d pay my credit cards balances and other everything else I owed. I would be free of the financial strain for the first time in four years.
“I know that was hard for you,” Holly said as we exited the bank into the clear, cold morning.
“A bit, yeah.”
“Do you want to grab a coffee and a bite to eat?”
“Sure.” We walked down the main street of town past the various shops, including a gift shop that had been there since the dawn of time and a new touristy coffee shop that had a line out the door. We stopped when we came to a women’s clothing store. “I’d like to buy a decent jacket,” Holly said. “I’m kind of freezing.”
“Yes, good idea.” I’d offered her my lumberjack coat this morning but she’d declined, saying she wanted to look presentable for the bank visit.
I held the door for her and she slipped past me. A blast of warm air from the heating system rustled my hair. Christmas music played softly overhead. The unique smell of new clothes and perfume scented the air. A young woman looked up from behind the counter where she’d been writing prices on tags. This was an old-school type of shop. No fancy accounting software for Garland Grove businesses. I could only imagine the accounting mess at the end of the year. I had three clients who ran businesses similar to this one. I was constantly nagging them to upgrade, but small shops around here ran on a slim margin. My hourly prices reflected that. When I’d worked for the accounting firm in the city, my hourly billing rate was four times what I could get away with here.
The clerk did a double take when she saw Holly, obviously recognizing her. I was thankful that she refrained from comment. “Happy Boxing Day. I’m Dawn. Can I help you with anything?”
“Thank you,” I said, then explained that we were hoping to purchase a down jacket for Holly.
“I have a few I think you’d like.” Dawn motioned us to the back of the shop where dozens of coats waited for a body to warm.
I wandered off while Holly looked through the rack. There were a lot of pretty things displayed, including jewelry, scarves, hats, and handbags. I’d have liked to find something nice for Holly but figured she probably had more expensive tastes than this. A jacket for Canada was one thing. Costume jewelry was quite another. Anyway, I couldn’t exactly buy her anything when she’d just paid off all my debt.
As we’d sat side by side at the bank, I’d come to terms with a hard truth. This money arrangement between us made a romance impossible. I had to keep that in mind. This was a week of fun after the most generous thing anyone had ever done for me. However, the power dynamics were complicated. Giving a gift to one’s benefactor would be inappropriate. As would entertaining any thought of a long-term relationship.
I hated feeling obligated to another person, especially one I had such a strong physical and emotional reaction to. Remember what a good day we had yesterday, I reminded myself. The hot dog day. Such a silly thing. Silly yet significant.
“Forest, what do you think of this one?”
I turned to see Holly wearing a red quilted jacket with a faux fur collar. “You look fantastic. Like a local.”
She unzipped herself out of it and handed it to Dawn. “I’ll take it, please.”
“Do you need anything else?” Dawn asked, eyes gleaming. “Hat or scarf? Gloves?”
“I need a pair of gloves,” Holly said. “The ones I have aren’t thick enough. A hat, too. Maybe a matching set?” She looked so excited by the prospect that it made me smile.
Dawn led her over to the counter with the hats and gloves lined up in neat rows. I wandered up to the front, looking out to the street. The sun shone brightly, but the temperatures had plummeted. There would be ice on the roads tonight when I returned from my shift at the bar. It would be one of my last shifts. Horace wouldn’t be too happy to lose me, but he knew how I hated being away from the kids at night. Not to mention I might actually get a life if I actually had a weekend night free.
A life?
What did that mean exactly? I’d certainly enjoyed the last couple nights sharing Holly’s bed. Sex was great, but was I ready for a relationship? Had Holly’s arrival reminded me of how much I missed having someone to share my life with? I’d been in survival mode for so long that having a relationship wasn’t really an option.
A relationship? Or Holly?
Holly Turner. Holly with her shiny hair and dazzling smile. Her long limbs and gorgeous eyes. The way she covered her mouth when she laughed as if she were afraid she was too loud. Sure, I’d not known her long, but there was a connection between us. An understanding that went deeper than I would have ever expected. Was it Holly who I imagined by my side on all these suddenly free evenings?
Crap. This was not good.
Holly was at the counter paying. Apparently, Dawn had recovered from her reticence and was telling Holly how she’d grown up watching her show. “During my awkward stage.”
“I grew up doing the show,” Holly said. “During my awkward stage.”
“You were not awkward. All of us girls wanted to be like you.”
“That’s sweet,” Holly said.
I knew enough by now to know that Holly would have liked to have traded places with any of the girls in this town, especially the ones who were part of a family. A home where she could feel safe and loved instead of used for her moneymaking abilities.
Holly, wearing her new jacket, grinned as we returned to the sidewalk. “I’m so much warmer now. Let’s celebrate everything and go to lunch. Will Mrs. Knight mind if we stay away for a bit longer?”
“No, she said to take our time. There’s a nice bistro around the block here. I’ve never been, but I’ve heard it’s good.”
“Sounds perfect.” She pulled her new soft leather gloves on as well as a new knit cap, both in a fawn brown. Fawn? Yes, that was the right color to describe her eyes.
What was I doing, thinking of the exact color of her eyes? This was very bad and getting worse by the minute.
We walked hand in hand to the bistro. I couldn’t stop touching the woman, I thought, as I separated from her long enough to hold the door open for her.
The place had a French café type of vibe with small tables covered in white cloths and a black-and-white tiled floor. An aroma of garlic and butter made my stomach growl. A server dressed in white with a black apron took us to a table by the window and left thick paper menus for us to peruse while he fetched us glasses of water.
“This is a cute place.” Holly tugged her hat from her head and then slipped out of her jacket. “Perfect for a lunch date.”
“I wonder what you see when you look at my little town?”
“I see a place for families.” I was growing accustomed to the melancholy tone in her voice when she spoke of family and home. Still, familiarity didn’t change my desire to fix it all for her. “Quaint shops. An ice-skating rink where people fall in love. A sweet French bistro where a couple could go for date night. Honestly, this place makes me question a lot of the choices I’ve made in my life.”
I flushed with pleasure. “It’s a good place to raise kids.” What was it about someone complimenting the place you live that made a man fill with pride? It wasn’t as if anything here had been my doing. Still, her words made me warm inside.
“What was it like to grow up here? Tell me everything.”
I chuckled, tickled by the curiosity in her eyes. “First, choose something to eat, and then I will.”
“I already know.” She thrust her menu toward me. “The coq au vin. It’s my absolute favorite meal.”
“Really?” I hadn’t looked at the menu yet. The prices had me reeling. Twenty dollars for a ham sandwich, and that was the least expensive item.
“I make it sometimes for myself. Pathetic, I know. A meal for one.”
“Do you cook for yourself?” I set the menu aside, having decided the ham sandwich was the only viable option.
“Not often, but sometimes. It relaxes me.”
The server came by, and Holly ordered. I asked for the ham sandwich, or jambon-beurre, as it was listed on the menu.
“Is that all you want?” Holly asked. “How about a cup of lobster bisque? Doesn’t that sound nice? Something warm?”
“It’s excellent,” the server said.
I loved lobster bisque. One splurge wouldn’t ruin the budget, I supposed. Not now that Holly had saved me. “Sure, yeah. Thanks.”
After the server walked away, Holly reached across the table to squeeze my hand. “I didn’t think about the prices. I’m sorry.”
“How did you know that’s what I was thinking?”
“You’re not hard to read,” Holly said. “I know this money thing is awkward between us, but I wish it wasn’t.”
“It’s all right.”
“I’m sorry. It was rude of me. I hate to think I’ve made you uncomfortable.”
“This whole thing is weird.” And doomed, I thought. There was no way, despite my fantasies, that the two of us could ever have anything other than a fling. I made sure of that the moment I accepted her money.
“Listen to me,” she said. “The money shouldn’t matter.”
“It feels that way.” I looked away from her penetrating gaze to the street. A young couple holding hands strolled by the window. A wave of envy rumbled through me. I’d have liked to be a man Holly admired for my ability to take care of her. That could never be the case.
Remember the hot dogs. I did this for the kids. All roads had to lead back to what was best for them. Feeling sorry for myself over my hurt pride did not serve them.
“Please, let’s just forget all of that and enjoy ourselves,” Holly said. “We don’t have much time.”
“Do you know what I’d do to be able to buy a lunch like this for a woman like you without a second thought?”
“You don’t have to. I like you either way.” Holly reached across the small table to squeeze my wrist. “Please, let’s have a good time. We have such a short while together.”
“Yes, all right.” I’d do my best, but my mood had changed. My stupid ego.
“Now, you were supposed to tell me what it was like growing up here. Spare no details.”
While we waited for our meals, I told her about growing up here: ice-skating parties, snowshoeing, the drive-in theater that charged five dollars a carload no matter how many kids you had stuffed in the back. “There were hayrides and afternoons sliding down the mountains on inner tubes.”
“That sounds fun.”
“We could do that with the kids while you’re here,” I said. “There’s a place just out of town.”
“I’d love that.”
I told her about my family and how things had changed dramatically for us when my father died unexpectedly. “He was a PE teacher and seemed in good health. One day, his heart stopped. Some kind of defect, they told us.”
“How old were you?”
“Sixteen.”
“Oh, that must have been terrible.”
“It was. I lost my mom when I was in college. Lung cancer. Diagnosed one day, and a month later she was gone. And then my sister and Marc.” I took a sip of water to hide the emotion that swelled up in me at the mention of my family.
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.”
“Yeah, I miss them all every day. It’s bad to be the last man standing, so to speak. The memories of all our good times helps, though.” I smiled as an image of my mother cooking in our old kitchen flashed before me. “My mom loved Christmas. She used to decorate the whole house the day after Thanksgiving. All month long, she’d make cookies and all these amazing treats. My sister and I both had a huge sweet tooth, so we loved December. We had this wooden Advent calendar my dad had made us. She’d put homemade fudge or peppermints in there for my sister and me. Every day when we came home from school, we’d rush to it.”
“Do you do that for the kids?”
I shook my head. I’d never thought to do so. Why was that? “No, and I don’t know why. I’m not sure what even happened to the Advent calendar. It might be somewhere in the attic. When my sister died, I was in shock for, I swear, an entire year. I can’t remember most of it. If I hadn’t had Mrs. Knight, I’ve no idea how I would have survived. Ruby was still in diapers, for example. I didn’t know how to do anything.”
“You figured it out, though. The kids are thriving.”
“I haven’t broken them so far,” I said. “Miraculously.”
Our meals arrived, smelling so good that my mouth watered. My ham sandwich was on a French baguette and partially wrapped in parchment paper secured with a brown string. The French knew how to make the ordinary special.
Holly breathed in the scent of her dish. “Rosemary, garlic, and butter. Could there be a better combination?”
I took a bite of my soup and groaned. “This is amazing.”
We ate for a few minutes, sharing bites with each other. My sandwich practically melted in my mouth. Smeared with butter in combination with the salty ham and the crunchy bread, it gave credence to its fancy French name.
“I’m going to get fat if I stay here much longer and get fired from this movie I’m supposed to start filming next week.” Holly sipped from her water glass. “I’ve never eaten so much in one week in my life. Even when I was a kid my mom was strict about my calorie intake.”
Next week. Too soon.
“What’s the project like? The one you’re going to film in Italy?” I asked, despite my lack of enthusiasm about her leaving me to go back to her regular life.
“It’s a role of a lifetime, honestly. One I never thought I’d even be considered for.”
“Why?”
“The character is this high-society type spending a few months in Italy. She’s hiding an opiate addiction from her husband and friends. As the days go by, she loses more and more control of her life. The role’s not exactly glamorous, but it’s super meaty. Usually, I’m the girlfriend or wife of the lead male. There aren’t that many roles for women.” She set aside her fork. “This is probably going to jinx me, but if I can pull this off, I’ll have a whole new clout as a serious actress. When you become famous as a teenage star of a mediocre but wildly popular sitcom, the transition’s not that easy. I’ve been slowly gaining respect as a real actress.”
