Back to You, page 30
“Good morning, mo stoirín,” he said, while picking her up.
Her big brown eyes looked up at him, melting his heart a little more. There was no doubt that every time he saw her, he was reminded that saving her was the best thing he’d ever done. He looked over at Emilia. One of the best things, he corrected.
“Are you coming to church with us?” she asked, wiggling down again. “Why are your clothes so wet?”
“Nay, lassie. Ye know I go to a different service.”
“We should be going,” Rose said, grabbing everything she needed. “C’mon, Eva. Why don’t you go out with Mira and Hiram, hm?”
Evaline frowned. “But I want to stay with everyone.”
Mira skirted around Shay and descended the rest of the stairs. She went to grab Hiram’s arm, but Hiram was already sweeping Evaline up, making her squeal and giggle as he carried her out of the room.
Mira shoved her hat on her head, tying it angrily as she turned to Shay. “You’ve caused nothing but trouble since you arrived. Why don’t you just leave?”
“Mira!” Rose said, slapping her hand down on the counter. “How dare you—”
“It’s true, Mama! And I’m sick of it.” Mira straightened, the top of her head barely reaching Shay’s chin, but her shoulders were back, resolute, her hands clasped in front of her. “You told her she could stay until she was well. Well, she’s fine now, Mama.”
“I didn’t know you felt this way,” Shay said, looking at Rose. “I’m sorry if I over stayed—”
“Nonsense,” Mikey said, sneering at Mira. “Our wee lass here has her eyes on a particular man, and ye are in the way.”
Mira blushed, darkening her umber skin all the way down her neck, sputtering her denial.
“Is this true?” Rose asked her daughter.
“We’re going to be late,” Mira said, beginning to fidget.
Shay went to her, grabbing Mira’s hands, surprising her still. “You have nothing to worry about. Hiram and I are just friends.” Shay met Mikey’s eyes, something passing between them. “If you have feelings for him, you need to tell him. I won’t get in your way.”
Mikey’s hands balled into fists, his knuckles turning white as every muscle in his body tensed.
Mira slowly pulled her hands free and backed away.
“Mira?” Rose snapped. “Why haven’t you mentioned this before?”
Mira wouldn’t look up, but she was clearly trying to hold back tears.
“Can we talk about this later, Mama?” Her heels softly clicked away before her mother could respond.
Rose watched her daughter leave as if she didn’t recognize her. After a few quiet moments, she turned towards Shay. “Are you coming, honey?”
Shay shook her head. “Tell Hiram I will see him tomorrow.” She glanced at Emilia out of the corner of her eye. “I think I have some things to figure out today.”
Rose nodded, a look of understanding on her face. “You can stay as long as you need. I will talk to my daughter.”
Shay smiled sadly. “Thank you so much. For everything. I mean it.”
“And as for you, girl,” Rose said to Emilia. “I don’t know what happened last night, but you need to get your head on straight.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Emilia muttered.
Rose took in Emilia’s sad state and softened a bit. “Don’t look so down, dear. You’ll figure it out.”
She patted Emilia’s arm, then turned her glare at Mikey before leaving.
“Lovely, woman.” Mikey rolled his shoulders, unphased by the hostility. “I think I’m growing on her.”
Shay scoffed, giving him a disbelieving glare.
“Jealous?” He smiled unexpectedly, and Shay’s glower fell, seemingly at a loss for words.
Thomas tried to ignore the shock of his brother flirting with a colored woman. It was so unlike Mikey that Thomas worried about his intentions. But that was an entirely different conversation they would need to have later.
Thomas pulled Emilia to him, ignoring his brother. “Don’t think ye are getting out of telling me where ye were all night, gypsy.”
Emilia tried to pull away, not meeting his eyes.
Thomas held on tighter. “Tell me what is bothering ye, lass. That I enlisted?”
“I always knew you were going to enlist.” Emilia sighed, rubbing her eyes. “It’s not that. Though it was how I started the day. Looking for you.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. When she didn’t respond, he hesitated, waiting a moment before he squeezed her into a hug and rested his chin on her head. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been gentle with someone, it wasn’t in his nature, and yet, holding Emilia like this, tucked against his body, it was like he’d been doing it his whole life. It felt natural as breathing. Emilia was familiar in a way that no other woman had been. “I should have told ye. I just knew if I told ye before, I wouldn’t be able to make myself sign those papers.”
She rested her cheek on his chest and took a shuddering breath. “It’s not that. But I have to ask—” she said it quietly so the others couldn’t hear and turned her dark eyes up to search his. “Did you mean all those things? You—” she paused, and he brought up his hand to lightly pull her bottom lip down, releasing it from her teeth while forgetting about everyone else in the room. “You don’t really think about yourself like that, do you?”
Thomas was entranced by her, eyes staring up at him adoringly. His heart swelled with an unfamiliar feeling that left him uncomfortable. She couldn’t look at him like that. He couldn’t feel like this. It went against everything he was working toward. “It’s the truth. I’m no good.”
“But you are good!” She squeezed his abdomen with purpose. “Thomas, you are one of the best men I know. You fight for others. Always put yourself last. You love your family. You saved me in ways that you could not even understand. Your people may not have a lot in this city, but I’ve come to love them as much as my family. They’re so resilient, strong, and bull-headed. Just like you. How do you not see that?”
He just shook his head. “I have done unimaginable things, lass. If ye knew half of them, ye would never look at me again.”
“Nothing could make me love you less, Thomas.”
She said it easily, as if she had known it all along. As if it the words had been an extension of them both, entangling her so much with Thomas that he knew there was no going back. It took her a moment to realize what she’d admitted. Emilia’s face paled and she let go of Thomas, taking a step back. The loss of her in his arms doused the flame of pleasure that flared from her words.
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking at the floor. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
Thomas rubbed the back of his head, suddenly self-conscious in front of the others. Was he nervous? Thomas hadn’t been feckin’ nervous since he was a damn lad. And yet, right here, right now, he couldn’t deny it. His nerves coiled tight in his belly like snakes.
“Well, don’t keep us in suspense, Tommy boy,” Mikey mumbled, breaking the silence.
Thomas stared at Emilia in her ridiculous clothes, baggy shirt, and pants to hide her curves. Her hair was still messy from shoving it in a hat for days, cheeks flushed from the alcohol.
He never saw a woman more beautiful.
“Did ye mean it?” he asked.
“Well…” she paused, looking worriedly at Shay, and fidgeted on her feet. “Yes, I meant it.”
Thomas nodded, taking two significant steps to get to her. “I tried not to,” he said, cupping her face. “Me whole life, I had no problem turning a woman away. Forgetting them. Ye have plagued me since I met ye. Entrapped me with your singing. Snared me so many times I lost count.”
“I—”
Thomas put a finger to her mouth. “There is no choice in this for me. Whether ye entrapped me or from my own heart’s betrayal.” He bent down to whisper in her ear. “I didn’t know what love was until I met ye. Ye are every definition of the word, and I know just why no other made me risk it all.” His thumbs traced her cheekbones and spread out around her face. She tilted into his hold. “They weren’t ye. I’ve been waiting for ye, Emilia Moretti, without even knowing it. I love ye more than life itself.”
She squirmed with the sensation, either reacting to what he said or from the tickle of his breath. Either way, it made him smile as he snaked an arm around her waist, pulling her in.
“You mean it?” Emilia asked, blinking up at him.
“Lord knows I tried not to. Ye’re a damned infuriating siren if I ever met one.”
Thomas wound one hand into her thick hair and tilted her chin up with the other. Then, as soft as a whisper, he pressed his lips against her silky ones. Fire burst through his body, consuming him. It took everything he had not to carry her away somewhere they could be alone. It didn’t help his resolve that Emilia latched onto him as if she feared he’d vanish, pressing all her sweet curves—
“Are ye gonna give us a show?” Mikey asked.
Their bubble burst, and they pulled apart, remembering they had an audience. Shay was nearly bouncing on her toes in glee.
“Don’t,” Emilia said, giving her a mock glare but unable to hide her smile.
“I’m glad you guys sorted that out.” Shay swayed with barely controlled excitement.
Mikey snorted. “Not that I don’t love all this romantic…” He waved his hand and looked at them dubiously, “shite, are ye going to tell us where ye’ve been? Or do ye expect us to stay up all night looking for your arse without an explanation?”
A heavy blanket fell over the room, reminding them what had brought them there in the first place.
Chapter thirty-one
Thomas
Emilia paled as the night’s troubles came crashing down on her again, and Thomas glared at his brother. Mikey only shrugged, never one to beat around the bush.
“We were really worried about you,” Shay said, coming to Emilia.
“I’m so sorry you guys were looking for me,” Emilia said, looking as if she wanted to sink into the ground. “It wasn’t my intention; it was actually entirely against my will until I knew what was happening.” She looked at the small box on the table and sighed. “I guess I should tell you guys about this then.” She pushed the box towards Shay with shaking fingers. “I don’t trust myself to pick it up right now.”
Shay lifted the lid and gasped, placing her hands over her mouth. Thomas leaned in, finding five glass vials filled with—
“What is it?” he asked, lifting one of them in front of the lantern. The contents were too light to be dirt and too inconsistent to be sand.
Emilia sighed. “The ashes of my people, apparently.” Her voice was flat, causing him and Michael to laugh until they saw how serious she was.
“What the feck?” Mikey blurted.
“Ew!” Shay squealed, stepping back. “That was on my face?” She looked like she might vomit. Thomas kept an eye on her so he could move out of the way in case she did.
“Yes,” Emilia gave a reluctant smile and explained how it worked.
Shay’s eyebrows drew down. “But how did you find out all of this?”
To Thomas’ surprise, Emilia’s eyes began to fill with tears again. Whatever she had gone through really did a number on her. “They left,” she said, bowing her head.
“Who left?” Thomas asked, rubbing her back.
“My papá.” Tears cascaded down her face now. Thomas’s jaw tightened, feeling helpless. “They found me yesterday. Well, I guess they knew I was here for a while. I—” She swallowed, stealing herself for whatever she was about to tell them. “They left today. I chose to stay behind.”
Shay sat down, holding onto the small box tightly. “I don’t understand, Mill.”
Thomas stared at Emilia, his chest constricting as he realized what she was saying. What she may be admitting. Had she refused her family for him? That couldn’t be it. Why would she want to give up her family for a man like him? He had nothing to his name. Nothing he could offer her. It had to be for Shay. But that didn’t explain her reactions when she saw him. It was as if she was pushing him… Thomas’s hands balled into fists. She’d been forcing him to acknowledge their connection. To fight for it.
“My family had been in town. They asked me to go with them.” Her dark eyes found him, and his whole body jolted by the silent admission.
As if in a daze, Thomas sat with them around the table as Emilia recounted the night’s events. With each word she spoke, his heart pumped faster, realizing how much she had given up. For him. But that wasn’t entirely true. He looked at Shay, the tightness in her features, and how this was affecting her. Emilia had chosen not only him, but also those she had grown close with. Those who had chosen her.
And what completely confounded him was how during some of it, Emilia fell into speaking Italian without even realizing it. At one point, Shay told her to slow down because she couldn’t understand her friend. He would’ve considered it natural—he did it with his native tongue—except Shay looked as if she was seeing someone she didn’t recognize. The language seemed to come back faster to Emilia the more she spoke it.
During a pause, Shay leaned in and grabbed her friend’s hand. “You’d been looking for them, Millie. It’s what sent us on this whole path. Are you sure you don’t want to go with them?”
Emilia shook her head and gave a humorless laugh. “My half-brother may be an ass, but he was right about one thing. I don’t belong with them.”
“But—”
“Honestly, Shay.” Emilia pulled her hand free and ran it through her hair. “I’m not one of them anymore. I feel more at home here.” She smiled, looking at each of them at the bakery. “With you guys and my family back home. I’m not sure if I could ever fit in with the Roma anymore—even with the memories I have. I could try, but—” She shook her head. “I don’t know. They seemed to have moved on without me. My papá has a new family.” She blew a gust of air out of her mouth, her cheeks puffing out. Thomas had to fight the urge to kiss her again. “And I can’t do what I have to do next if I’m with them.”
Shay’s brows scrunched together in confusion. “Next? What—”
“You should go,” Emilia interrupted and tapped the box. “You have everything you need.”
“You’re saying it like you’re not going, too.” Shay’s dark eyes flicked towards Mikey, but he looked down, suddenly fascinated with his hands.
Emilia sighed, leaning her head back. The flush had faded from her cheeks, and her eyes sharpened, losing some of the effects of the alcohol along with the ease with which she spoke.
“I’m going to stay,” she admitted, shocking the room into silence. “For now. They killed my mammina, Shay. I can’t go. Not yet. But I need to know you’ll be okay. That you’re in safe hands back home.”
Emilia looked at Thomas, her eyes so serious that it made him uneasy. They sat quietly like that, no one speaking.
What was she thinking? She had her ticket home. A way to finally get out of this godforsaken place. If he had the chance, he’d take it in a heartbeat.
Wouldn’t he? Thomas ground his teeth. He feckin’ wouldn’t, and he knew it. He could have left; instead, he decided to stay with his people. To fight for something bigger than himself. Wasn’t that what Emilia was doing?
Still, Thomas shifted in his seat, stubbornly ignoring the truth. “Ye should go home.”
“I know it’s not what you want to hear—” Emilia began to protest.
“What of the man who killed her?” Shay asked. “Will he look for you, too?”
Thomas’s blood chilled as he turned toward Emilia. “He’ll need to get by me first,” he growled.
Emilia threw him an exasperated smile. “Before I left, I made sure I knew the name of the man who killed her. A Louisiana Frenchman—Marcel Pierre Bouderaux.” Emilia’s face contorted in rage as she said it as if the very words left a bitterness in her mouth. “He went by Pierre and was apparently shot in a hunting accident years ago.” The exaggerated widening in her eyes made little doubt that it was an accident.
Thomas sat back, not feeling the least bit guilty about the relief from another man’s death. The type of monster who could own and abuse another person should be in the ground. But still, he had to ask, “Are ye sure?”
Emilia nodded. “My papá did it himself.”
“Okay.” Shay looked as relieved as Thomas felt and tucked the box into her arm. “We stay for a while. You did so much for me. I want to do this for you. We’ll do some volunteering, deal with whatever you need to do to get through this. We can—”
“I can’t ask you to do that,” Emilia interrupted. “It’s not safe here. You should have modern doctors that can—”
“I’m staying.” Shay straightened and grabbed her friend’s hand. “I love you, Millie. If this is what you need, then I’ll wait. We have our ticket home, but I don’t want you to regret it if we leave. We’ll stay until you get everything sorted out.”
“But the baby—”
“Rose knows how to bring a baby into the world. Relax, Mill. Trust me when I say I can do this. You know I can.”
“I know,” Emilia said, face still tight with worry. “You’re the strongest woman I know.”
Shay smiled, tearing up a little. “Damn straight.”
Mikey leaned forward. “So ye two aren’t leaving then?” His voice was level, but Thomas noticed the tick in his jaw.
Thomas remained still, not wanting to betray his own unease.
“The thing is, I don’t think I will be around for the birth.” Emilia fidgeted nervously under their stares. “I know I said I would be—and I really want to—but now you have the chance to go home. And I need to do something first, and it might take a while. That’s why I want you to really think about this. If you need to go, you should.”
Shay sighed, running her hands over her belly. “I told you, I’m staying. Go do what you got to do, and I’ll be fine here with Rose. I wanted to volunteer some more anyway.”
“Do ye really think ye should be out and about—” Mikey began until Shay glared at him. He held up his hands. “I’ll keep an eye on her,” he said to Emilia.
