Back to You, page 26
“Faster, gypsy. I want to hear ye come with her.”
His dirty words sent another flush across my skin, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
I liked them. A lot.
I drove several fingers inside me and rubbed with my palm, panting as my pace picked up. The loud banging and grunts next door became erratic, slamming into the wall as the woman screamed.
The tightening in my abdomen began to build, and my whole body tensed as Thomas watched my hand. His jaw looked like it was about to crack with the tension. I felt like I was about to levitate off the mattress. My back arched. My heels ground against the bed for purchase.
Just as the man roared with a loud bang onto the wall, the tension broke, sending me free-falling, bursts of desire shooting down my limbs. I screamed as my entire core lit up like fireworks. All the while, Thomas watched in rapture as I experienced the most intense orgasm I ever had.
“So feckin’ beautiful.”
My body sunk into the mattress as my soul felt like it left my body, finally sated after that torture. My eyes opened to find Thomas looking like he wanted to devour me.
“Was that your first time?” he asked.
My cheeks heated, but I shook my head. “I’ve done it plenty of times. First time someone watched, though.” My eyes looked towards the ceiling in embarrassment. Now that the act was over, my nerves were getting the best of me.
“Has another man seen your body like this?”
My head shot towards him, surprised by the anger.
“No.”
“I would very much like to touch ye,” he stated, placing each hand on either side of me. The bed sank down as he leaned in. Caging me. “Is it because ye didn’t want them to? Because surely, they couldn’t keep away from ye. I don’t know how I did for so long.”
I shook my head. “I—I guess boys my age were never interesting enough. I had offers, though.” The last part came out in a whisper. I watched his face transform from desire to something far more predatory.
“I am no boy, lass.”
“I know,” I croaked.
“Would ye like me to touch ye?”
I swallowed, unable to speak.
“Because I would very well like to, Emilia.” My name on his tongue sent ripples of goosebumps over my body. He skimmed his fingers down my arm, making every nerve light up. “Do ye want me to? I need ye to say it.”
Need. Thomas was giving me the option. My heart melted in my chest as my feelings grew into something I was afraid to admit.
“Yes,” I breathed, unable to refuse him. In that moment, I didn’t think I ever could.
“Thank fuck,” he growled.
It took everything in Thomas not to pounce on Emilia as soon as she gave him permission. But, no. He wanted to take this as slow as possible. His fingers glided down her neck, and her breathing had already stopped by such a simple touch.
He was going to enjoy this very much. And yet, he paused right above her collarbone.
“Are ye sure ye don’t want to save this for your future husband, lass?”
Her dark eyes found his, unraveling him with their truth before she even said the words. “I want it to be you.”
His hand trailed lower, skimming the side of her breast. A shiver ran up her body, snapping his restraint. His mouth fell down, and he flicked his tongue over her nipple before sucking it into his mouth.
Emilia’s head fell back, and her body arched. Thomas used the opportunity for his other hand to wrap around the back of her hip and hauled her closer. His mouth pulled from her with a pop before grabbing her breasts. They filled both of his hands completely. He marveled at their size as his thumbs brushed across them.
“This has never happened before,” he admitted, raising a teasing brow at her.
Her look of confusion would have made him laugh if he wasn’t so turned on. “What?”
Thomas climbed further onto the bed and spread her thighs so he could settle between them, lightly resting his weight on her. Though still fully clothed, he needed to be closer. Needed to see the way he affected her.
“It was like ye were made for me,” he clarified, kneading her breasts until she gave out a heady moan. “Like these were made for me. They fit perfectly within me hands.”
Emilia surprised him with a laugh. His gaze snapped back to hers, finding a mischievousness in them that went straight to his lower half. Thomas shifted so that he was fully pressed against her center, making her gasp.
“Is that funny, gypsy?”
“Maybe.” She gave him a crooked smile and pressed her breasts further into his hands at the same time she rocked her hips up. It was his turn to suck air in through clenched teeth. “So, you like them?”
When he didn’t answer, she raised her brow and swiveled her hips again.
As quick as a snake, Thomas’s hand swiped under her knee and pulled it up around his waist as he rolled against her. Then, leaning down with his weight pressing down across all of her curves, his lips touched the rim of her ear. “Someone is being especially naughty tonight. Have ye had too much to drink?”
“No.”
Thomas smiled at her throaty response. “Then shall I punish ye for coming without me?”
“You told me to!”
The slap across her ass had her gasping. As soon as her mouth opened, Thomas’s was on hers so that he could devour her whimper.
“Tell me,” he said into her mouth. “Did ye want to be in there with them?” She shook her head. “Did ye wish they were touchin’ ye as they pleasured themselves?” She hesitated, and Thomas let out a surprised laugh. “Naughty gypsy. Put your hands above your head.”
“Why?”
He raised a brow. “Your punishment. Don’t ask again.”
She raised her hands like a good girl and grabbed the edge of the mattress. “What are you going to do?” Her words came out shaky, but her body was moving against him. She was turned on as much as he was.
The sound of the slap registered before the sting. He could see it as her lips formed an ‘O’. Thomas’s fingers rubbed the sting out as he gave his answer. “I told ye no questions, but since ye want to face the consequences, I will oblige.” His hand traveled back to her knee to pull her closer as he steadily rocked until she was panting. “I will drag this out until ye are beggin’ for me to finish. Until ye curse me. Hate me.” His tongue swiped into the hollow of her throat. “And then I will reward ye for being such a filthy lass.” His hands wrapped around her hips, so the position drove her nearly mad. His mouth returned to her ear. “I am going to worship your body, lass. Tell me, do ye want Anna in here with us?”
Her eyes flashed, and Thomas had to hold back his excitement. Was she jealous?
“Would ye want to watch as I fuck her?”
The next slap rang out through the room, but the sting across his cheek fueled his desire instead of angering him.
“Screw you,” she growled. Ah, so it was jealousy he saw.
He had both her hands pinned before she could blink. “Ye are going to pay for that, ghrá.”
Thomas shifted so one hand pinned her hands as the other skimmed down her body, over her twitching stomach, and straight to her center. Her legs twisted as she tried to release the tension on his hand.
He spanked her again.
“Don’t move,” he growled, even as his subsequent strokes were slow and gentle. “So no to Anna.” He couldn’t help but smirk. Her jealousy pleased him more than he wanted to admit. “What about the man?” he asked, body tensing for her answer. “Would ye want him while I watched?”
Her eyes narrowed, and a sweet flush spread across her chest. “What if I wanted them to watch us?”
Thomas’s hand stopped immediately. He watched Emilia bite her lip as she scanned the shock that must have been clearly written on his face.
She gave a wicked smile that he’d never seen on her before and leaned up to whisper into his ear. He had to hold back the shiver skating down his spine. “Maybe I want to take you downstairs so you can fuck me in front of everyone to show them you’re mine.“ Her head fell back on the pillow, causing her dark hair to spill in a puddle around her. “Would you like that?”
Thomas still hadn’t moved. Was he even breathing? This woman would assuredly be the ruin of him. His damnation. A plague of temptation explicitly made for him. It was increasingly clear that Emilia Moretti would unravel every rule he had ever made. In fact, she already was, and he wasn’t sure if that bothered him anymore.
That, however, didn’t change the fact that her body still shook. Her tongue might bite, but she was all timidity beneath her exterior. It made Thomas want her all the more.
His fingers began to move again while his eyes remained on hers. He watched as he slid a finger inside her. Her body tensed, but she was so wet that there was no resistance.
Thomas swallowed. He’d never been stunned like this with a woman. He should have known Emilia would be the one to completely destroy him. She was unique in every way.
The thought of claiming her in front of everyone was tempting, but Thomas was feeling uncharacteristically selfish.
“Though I want ye, we will not be ‘fucking’ tonight.” Her movements stilled as her brows scrunched together in confusion. It was so cute that Thomas kissed her pouting mouth and said, “It is your first, Emilia. I cannot, with good conscious, take that from ye.”
“Then what are we doing?” she snapped. Her anger made it hard for Thomas to hide his smile.
“I’m going to make ye scream me name, lass. But there are plenty of other ways to do that than to take your virginity.” He paused, his desire fading somewhat at his following words. “That should be for your husband.”
“I want you.”
His eyes flashed back to hers. Emilia was chipping at his resolve, but his decision was final. He may be selfish enough to explore her body, but he would not ruin her for the man she would be with. She was worth more than a million of Thomas. He didn’t deserve this gift.
“Ye have me, lass.”
He slid another finger slowly into her, making her hiss at how tight it was.
“Please, Thomas.” Her hips rocked, and she gasped again.
“Don’t move.”
His lips pressed against hers, gentle and exploring. Trying to prove all of his love in that single act.
Love?
He paused, shocked by this discovery. For fucks sake. Was he in love with her?
His fingers began to move in and out to distract her from his revelation. Yes, he loved Emilia for quite some time without realizing it. But she was leaving, and he was to go to war. It wasn’t possible. They weren’t possible.
This would have to be enough. It was far more than he deserved.
Thomas raised to his knees and spread her thighs. Then, very slowly, he bent down.
“What are you doing?” Her voice shook, her big doe eyes imploring.
“So many questions.”
“Wait,” she placed her hands on his shoulders as he lowered.
“What did I say?” he growled. “Hands above your head.”
She obeyed instantly but still asked, “Maybe—” A few seconds of hesitation. Then, “Maybe don’t do that?”
He raised a brow. “I don’t think anything can stop me from tasting ye right now, gypsy.”
And with that, he ran his tongue up her center, and they moaned together.
“Oh,” she gasped. “That feels so much better than I imagined.”
Thomas smiled as he slid a finger inside her. He was rewarded with a sweet purr.
He kept his mouth on her when he asked, “Who have ye imagined between your legs, a ghrá? And do ye need to be punished?”
Emilia grabbed his hair and pulled at the same time, her thighs clenched his head. Her reaction almost broke all of his self-control. Instead of taking what he wanted, he settled for his own hand. His other arm wrapped around her belly and pinned her to the bed.
“You,” she breathed, and their eyes connected over the expanse of her body. “Ever since Biddy told me how good you are with the girls—” Thomas shoved in another finger, and she groaned. His hand pumped himself faster. Emilia was panting as her body arched off the bed, but she continued. “Ever since I heard what a good fuck you are, I wanted you inside me.”
Thomas was on top of her within a blink, his mouth crashing onto hers when he fisted her hair, ripping her head back as his free cock rocked across her clit. Emilia gasped, eyes springing open to look between them. He watched as she realized what he had been doing.
“I can help with that,” she said, licking her lips.
Thomas didn’t answer. He just watched as her hand slid between them. She began to move, testing out her grip as they both watched.
“Is—” she paused, and their eyes met. “Does that feel good?”
Thomas pulled himself closer so that her movements would rub against her. “Ye tell me, lass.”
“Thomas, please.”
The apprehension in her tense features had him answering immediately. “Aye. Don’t stop.” He rocked further into her hand.
“It’s bigger than I imagined,” she admitted, clearly worried.
Thomas let out a dark chuckle on her shoulder. “Good thing it won’t be inside ye tonight. I’m not sure if I could be gentle.”
A deep breath whooshed past his ear, and her body relaxed. Suddenly, Thomas was glad of his decision. Though she said she wanted to, and she very well did, that didn’t mean she was ready.
Pulling back, they watched each other until their hands became hurried and without rhythm. Each lost in their own desire. He curled his fingers inside of Emilia, and her pace jerked and quickened. He found the spot that would be her undoing.
Emilia’s body arched off the bed, all her muscles locking up as the most intoxicating moan escaped her lips. Heat shot to the base of his spine, nearly finishing him on the spot.
Thomas groaned into her neck, body stiffening to hold off just a little longer. A woman never undid him so fast. All the while, Emilia’s hand never stopped moving, bringing him over the edge right there with her.
They cursed simultaneously, and Thomas collapsed, careful to keep his weight from crushing her.
“That—” she paused, clearly dazed. “That was almost better than the one with Anna.”
Thomas’s gaze whipped towards her as he noticed her whole-body jiggling. Was she laughing?
“Oh, ye are going to pay for that, gypsy.”
Emilia’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before Thomas stood and lifted her off the bed, causing her to squeal.
“What are you—” She was over his lap, and his hand connected to her behind before she could finish the sentence.
“Ow!” She laughed, wiggling to get free.
“Not until ye admit your lie,” Thomas growled.
She wiggled again, pointing her ass farther into the air. “I don’t know. Maybe we should test it out again.”
The next spank was so hard that her entire ass cheek was red. Thomas rubbed the sting away and slid his fingers back inside her.
“Oh.” She dragged the word out.
“I can punish ye all night, lass. But this time, I’ll stop just as ye are about to come.”
She sighed, relaxing into him, and he stopped his pursuit.
“It was everything,” she whispered so quietly he thought he imagined it.
“Aye,” he agreed, hearing the grief in his own voice. “That it was.”
For the first time, Thomas didn’t want to fight. Didn’t want to bear arms for a country that took him in. He was happy. Truly content for the first time since he was a child. And it was entirely because of the woman in his arms. His gut propelled him to work towards this exact feeling his entire life.
So then, why did he still feel the need to go?
Chapter twenty-eight
Thomas & Emilia
September 1861
It was the only way. At least, Thomas told himself that as he tied up his boots.
He wished he could show Emilia a different place. Whisk her away from everything that was happening in their world. But he couldn’t take her where he was about to go next. That’s why he recreated the barriers since their time at Nora’s. Kept her at a distance so that it wouldn’t hurt her so much when he left. He couldn’t ask her to wait for a man with no promise; even if he survived the war, he couldn’t give her what she deserved. She deserved everything—everything that he was not.
Maybe if he said it enough, they’d both believe it. He refused to acknowledge the prickling sensation of fear crawling across his scalp. Thomas wasn’t afraid to die. No, Thomas was worried he would go with the knowledge of what he was leaving behind, and if he knew—truly accepted the depths of his feelings for her—he’d never go.
And by God, he needed to go.
Thomas reached out, about to caress a hair off her sleeping face, then stopped, hand hovering a breath from her cheek. She was beautiful, sleeping peacefully with her hair fanned around her head, a small sigh escaping her lips as they pulled into a small smile. He wondered what she was dreaming about.
Thomas looked down at the rag that was a poor excuse for a blanket. He pulled back, the shame that he had felt when he told her that was all they had. Even though all she did was thank him and smile. There was no disgust at their run-down apartment and soot-covered walls. At least the bugs weren’t bad, he thought bitterly, and they didn’t have to share it with any other families this time. He tried to tell himself it could be worse. It had been worse. But seeing Emilia there—she was out of place and looked like the kind of lass that slept on a real bed with the finest sheets.
It did something to him, crushed him with the knowledge that he would never be able to give her what she deserved. And if that meant he had to live without her, he’d do it. He’d give her the chance to get the hell out of this city.
Thomas sighed and ran his hand over his hair, snapping himself from his thoughts. He had somewhere to be and couldn’t be around when she woke.
“Where do you think he went then?” I asked Michael.
