The 45th Parallel, page 27
“Luca always thought it was because of him,” she said, her brilliant blue eyes glistening with tears. “He thought his father didn’t want him. Left because he couldn’t deal with being a parent.”
Carmelo grasped Illy’s hands and stared into her eyes. Acknowledging this was a private moment, Gio stood, taking me by the hand. Matteo followed suit and led us from the room.
“He is our half-uncle,” Sera breathed, barely able to believe it. “What relation is he to you?” she asked Matteo, confusion furrowing her beautiful face.
“No relation. He was our father’s best friend. They met on their first day here. They worked together, but he was a tier one, and Dad a tier two.”
“Thank goodness for that!” I exhaled forcefully. “I’d hate for you to be my second half-cousin or something.”
“It wouldn’t make any difference to how I feel about you,” Gio said, and he kissed me ardently in the hallway.
I pulled back, seeing there were people around. He sensed my discomfort.
“I don’t care. Everyone already knows who you are and what has happened, and that you saved us. I am so proud of you. I want the world to know how much I love you. We have been waiting for your mother to get here, but there will be a ceremony tomorrow to thank you for what you did. Both of you.” Gio looked over to Sera. “You both saved us all. Many others weren’t so lucky.”
“You can’t tell them about us swimming,” I whispered to Gio, panic rising within me. “People can’t know that part.”
“They don’t. No one has asked how you got to the tech pod, and we didn’t volunteer that information. This is just a thank you ceremony, not an interrogation.”
I looked over at Sera and felt my stomach churn. “I don’t think I can.”
“I will be there with you.” She smiled. “You don’t need to do anything alone.”
“I wonder how Mum and Carmelo are going?” I asked Sera as we sat in the café sipping coffee. We hid in the same corner booth Gio had shown us to on our first day here. “I’m scared she will eat him alive. She is a little pissed at us. I hope she doesn’t take it out on him.”
“How will they communicate?” Sera asked me. “Mum doesn’t speak Italian, and I don’t think I have ever heard Carmelo speak English.”
“He speaks a little,” Matteo advised. “He doesn’t feel comfortable using it, but he understands more than he speaks. Our mother used to speak to him in English sometimes.”
“Have you met your mother?” I laughed for the first time in days. “She can make herself known regardless of language.”
“I see where you get it from,” Gio teased. “Both of you.”
“Wait until you meet her mother,” Sera retorted. “She is just as strong-willed as mine and Caitlin. Her mother is a force of nature.”
“I would like that.”
I stood back at stared. “Do you mean that?”
“I don’t say things I don’t mean.”
After lunch, Gio took me for a slow walk around the pods, slow because every person wanted to stop and thank me for what I had done. Swamped with hugs and kisses, I couldn’t take two steps without someone forcing themselves into my space. Gio could see me shrinking away, becoming more and more uncomfortable. Gently, he steered me back toward the apartment. Matteo and Sera were also returning from the opposite direction; a similar look of being overwhelmed on Sera’s face indicated she wasn’t coping with all the attention either.
We entered quietly, and Carmelo was gone. Illy was seated overlooking the lake, a glass of wine in hand. She didn’t even turn before addressing me.
“I need to speak with you, young lady. Sera, gentlemen. Leave us.”
It was an order, not a request. Gio kissed my cheek, and I heard the door close as I dropped onto the couch and closed my eyes, waiting for the tirade. I waited … and waited. She was clearly preparing herself to launch into full irate mode. I had been on the receiving end of this more times than I could count, and it never got any easier.
I jolted as I felt her arms come around me and pull me into her chest.
“I know how you feel, but you did the right thing, Caitlin.”
My eyes popped, and I stared at her seated beside me.
“How did you know?” I whispered.
“Sera sent me a message telling me where you were and what happened. What you did.”
“I killed them.” The words choked me, and I couldn’t breathe.
Her arms engulfed me as the feeble dam wall smashed, and I sobbed my heart out. I could hear her speech, the sound of her voice, but I couldn’t make out the words as the pain ripped me in two. She was just … there. It was calming, soothing, having her hold me, and slowly, the torrent slowed.
“You saved thousands of people, Caitlin. Thousands. They had no intention of letting most of the people here live once they migrated here. Some of the valuable skills, but most would have died. They were only doing it slowly to avoid being overpowered once the people grasped they had no intention of letting any of them go. Fear is as powerful a weapon as there is. You look like Luca, but my goodness, you are like your mother. Fearless, brave. When Gio told me what you did, I couldn’t have been prouder. You saved these people. All of them. The fatalities in the other communities have been far higher from what we can establish. You saved them. Your cool thinking, your strategy. I wish your father could see you. Luca, I mean. He would be the proudest man on earth to know he had fathered a daughter like you.”
“Other communities?”
“The Caspians hit two others at the same time as this one. There have been many fatalities. We are mobilizing teams to assist.”
“I … killed … them…” is all I could manage, feeling myself being pulled down into the dark.
“You did. I am going to tell you a secret, Caitlin. Both your mother and I have needed to kill people. Does it haunt me? Yes. Was it the right thing to do? Also, yes.”
“You? My mother?” I squeaked.
“Both of us. What I can tell you is that it gets easier over time. I will ask you the same question I ask Freyja and myself. Would you have preferred Sera did this? Or your boyfriend?”
I wiped my eyes with the handkerchief she handed me and pondered that. “No. I would never want anyone to do it. No one should take a life. But I knew I needed to help these people, so I just did it.”
“You did. And you need to live with that. But Caitlin, these people are alive because of you. They are grateful. I’ve already met some of them, and they can’t thank you enough. Their children will grow up because of you.”
“I feel like I am rotting. My heart is black, and I can’t breathe. I feel shame and guilt, and I just feel dirty. I wonder if I will ever be clean again,” I whispered.
“I know, darling. Is that why you have been hiding in here since it happened?”
Tears filled my eyes. “Please, will you help me?”
“My darling, you know I will.” I dropped into her arms again as she spoke soothingly above my head.
“I can’t help but think it is all my fault,” I sobbed. “Sera and I reactivated the portals, the antipodes. If we hadn’t, this would never have happened.”
Illy lifted my chin to look her in the eyes. “I’m not supposed to tell you this. It is top secret, but you know all those meetings I have been attending for the past two years?”
I nodded. Illy had been away an awful lot more than usual.
“I have been trying to convince all the communities to agree to reactivate the portals. We were just finalizing protocols. It is well overdue. So … you just jumped the gun a little.”
“Really?” I gulped.
“We also had no idea these communities even existed. Tadhg opened the files Sera sent and is beside himself at the new technologies here. I don’t think I will be able to pull him away.”
“You aren’t angry?”
“Darling, I have watched you grow into an amazing woman with such pride. You and your sister are trailblazers. Unique and unpredictable. You will always march to the beat of your own drum, and I can’t tell you how delighted you make me. You have given me more than your fair share of gray hairs mind,” she laughed merrily, “but I have enjoyed watching your adventures and escapades. You remind me so much of myself. And your mother. She was no angel.”
“Mum?” My eyes sprang wide, wondering if we were talking about the same person. Mum was cool and sharp, always had it together.
“Your mother was the most intelligent badass bitch I have ever met until you came along. You are more like her than you think. Your heart is in the right place, Caitlin. You will do amazing things. I can’t wait to see what you will do next.”
“I want to go home.” I sniffed into her shoulder.
“Do you really? What is there on Lewis for you? It is quiet and safe, but there is nothing there for you. Why do you think we sent you to Newgrange to work with Callie and Tadhg?”
“To learn?”
“To give you the skills to be the best you could be. We always knew you would be an asset to the Collective. Tadhg and Callie are the best of the best, but even they admit you and Sera surpassed them far quicker than even they thought possible. Though I could have done without the dueling scenario. Bloody hell, your mother and I laughed until we cried about that. Two boys fighting to the death over you.”
I flinched, wondering when that would come up. At least she hadn’t said it in front of Gio.
“Besides, why would you leave here? Giovanni is so hot he would melt any woman’s panties.”
My mouth dropped.
“Oh, come on!” she cackled. “I am old, not blind! If I were young enough, I’d love a piece of that.”
I gasped, and she threw her head back and laughed hysterically. “I can’t wait to tell your mother. For the first time in your life, you were lost for words!” she hooted.
“Who are you? You are evil,” I breathed as she wheezed with laughter, watching my horrified face.
“You are my daughter.” She kissed my head as she folded me in again. “Freyja’s, Cam’s, Luca’s, and mine. We swore to raise you together, and we are all so blessed to have you. Come on. Let’s go for a walk. Your mum and I used to do this. It is always easier to process difficult topics if you are moving. There are things I should have told you long ago.”
Chapter 46
As we walked, I relaxed a little and told her all I knew about the Piedmont and Yellowstone communities. She was a fantastic listener, asking questions that didn’t sound judgmental but proved she had listened. I opened up, and I grasped she was treating me like an adult, an equal. For the first time, I felt valued, like we had taken a step in our relationship. She asked me about the governance systems, and I described them the best I could. She asked what worked and what the challenges were experienced by both communities.
“Sera has copies of a lot of their files. The community was cold and controlled. Military society is how I would describe it, even though I have never seen one before that. We got little exposure to the people in Yellowstone, only the few who questioned us, so I don’t really feel that we have a good understanding of their society. They believe in uniformity, population control, and they kill off anyone who opposes them.”
“How do you know that?”
“We found the files. Sera took copies.”
Illy nodded, waiting for me to continue.
“They refer to people using codes, letters, and numbers, and resources are allocated to each unit. It is cold, sterile. Everything is painted gray. The people all look the same, wear the same clothes and same hairstyle. I think one of the scariest things we read was removing a woman’s womb after she had a child.”
Illy indicated she had heard but didn’t interrupt.
“Not that life here was perfect. Did you know that nearly a quarter of the population here took their own lives in the first decade, being unable to cope with the feeling of entrapment?”
“A quarter? How many people are there?”
“Originally four thousand. But there are more than that now. Five thousand, I think, with all the children.”
“So you are saying nearly a thousand people died?”
“I am. Apparently, mental health here was always an issue, but it worsened when the portals were deactivated, as they couldn’t go anywhere. At least before, they could journey to the other communities.”
“How many are there? Like this.”
“Six unhab communities that we know about. Underwater habitations. Gio says they know of five others too.”
“That aligns with what we know, too. Tadhg was poring over the records Seraphine sent all the way here. Some habitations are larger than this one, a few smaller. But all are far bigger than any of the land ones we have ever been to. Each of these are massive, with thousands of people settled here at establishment, not hundreds.”
“Sera sent records?”
“She did. But it was you she was worried about. She was concerned for you, Caitlin. I think her words were, ‘She is in a really dark place, and I don’t know how to pull her out.’ I’ve been there, Caitlin—your mother too. We know how this feels, and that is why I came as quickly as I could.”
“I’m so glad you came,” I confessed, surprised to realize it was true. Sera hadn’t called her mother out of concern for herself but for me. Despite knowing we would face the consequences, she did it anyway.
“I would always have come for you. Your mother desperately wants to see you, tell you how much she loves you. Your dad has been in a terrible mess since you two disappeared. Fortunately, it wasn’t quite without a trace; we found the equipment you had set up at Callanish quickly enough, so we knew what you had done. The problem was that August denied you arrived there, although no one was in the grotto at the time. They sent in divers in case you had drowned. That caused your father more anxiety than anything, thinking you were dead. He barely left the house. He has lost so much weight.”
“I am so sorry.”
“I gather this was an accident.”
“It was, truly. We planned to go to August and then over to Australia to see Sam. We had intended to let you know we had arrived safely, only we didn’t.”
“So why didn’t you send a message sooner?”
This was a complex topic, and now that she was here, all of our excuses sounded feeble, but I tried to put it into words. “Honestly, we were scared. Yellowstone is combative, and we were scared they would intercept a message and invade Lewis. They are highly armed, and we didn’t want to bring them down on Lewis or anywhere else. You should have seen how they interrogated Sera and me. Thought we were invaders and locked us up and starved us. Torture was likely next. We found files that proved they used violent techniques to interrogate prisoners. Then, we escaped and arrived here, but we only planned for it to be a month…”
“But you fell in love.”
“That wasn’t it.”
“You feared how your parents and I would react?”
“A little. We didn’t want to be responsible for these communities being exposed and ours too. We knew we were out of our depth, exposing thousands of people, and were waiting to come home and tell you in person. Then, we missed the window. Please tell Mum I am so sorry. She must be so angry with me.”
“That is the message I needed to pass on. Your mother heard what you did and sends her love. She said to tell you she is so proud of the woman you have become, and she is thrilled to see you make your way in the world. She also said, and I quote, ‘Tell her to keep her knickers on this time.’ I’ll radio back and tell her too late, shall I?”
I couldn’t breathe. “No!” I squeaked. I did not want my love life broadcast for everyone to hear.
Illy laughed so hard at my reddening face she had to hold her sides.
“Do you and Sera still have your IUDs in?”
I coughed, mortified at the idea of discussing contraception with my mother. “Yes.”
“Good. I’ll tell her that then. Now, as you won’t be adding to it anytime soon, tell me more about the population here.”
Recognizing that in classic Illy form, she was allowing me to move the conversation on after delivering her barb, I tried to force words through my tightened throat.
“Initially, they had a cap on two children per couple to minimize the population. It isn’t like they could expand.”
“Did that change? The birth limit?”
“It did. With so many people taking their own lives, they allow any number now. But the apartments are small, and all of them are only two bedrooms. So even if you had six kids, they all sleep in one room. Well, unless you want them in with you.”
“Did you tell them you are both from big families?”
“Gio and Matteo know. But for everyone else, we didn’t feel that was necessary.”
“What happens when they partner up?”
“When one is available, they get their own apartment, but even with all the deaths and lower birth rates, they are rapidly outgrowing this facility. They have limited capacity to expand farther.”
“Can’t they just build new pods?” Illy asked as we entered the aquaponics pod.
“They did, originally. But they have run out of materials and have no capacity to access more. The original design had differing size apartments, depending on whether you were categorized as Tier One, Two, or Three. But after the coup, The Leveling—I can’t remember what Gio said it was called in Italian—they made everything equal. All roles are considered equally valuable, and all apartments were made the same size, and all with a view to access sunlight.”
