Wedding Days at Halesmere House, page 14
‘Then I need to go and do some work in the forge.’
He turned away and Gemma was soon following Lizzie to the flat. ‘He’s trouble, Lizzie, I’m telling you,’ she muttered crossly. ‘Just you make sure you won’t regret all this time you’re apparently going to be spending together.’
‘Come and calm down with a drink while we talk about the theme, and you can look over Ella’s suggestions for food. They’re stunning, perfect for the informality you’re after and she’s very happy to arrange a tasting.’
‘That sounds wonderful. Never mind coffee, though. I could do with a whopping great gin after what Cal said about working with you.’
‘Would it be so terrible if we did get back together?’ Lizzie’s voice was small as she unlocked the door. ‘He’s not a bad person, Gem.’
‘I guess it wouldn’t be awful, not if you really loved each other and were planning to make it last this time. And what’s this about a yacht? Bloody show off.’
‘The yacht came with the boathouse he’s renting, that’s all. It’s not actually his.’ Lizzie stood back to let Gemma go through first. ‘What do you think? So much nicer than it was in our day.’
‘Love it, especially that bath. Big enough for two, I see.’ Gemma gave Lizzie a meaningful stare as she left the cake tin on a worktop, and Lizzie laughed. The thought had occurred to her.
‘Remind me what it was you said, about moving back here and not doing it because of Cal.’ Gemma planted hands on her hips. ‘What’s actually going on between you two? And don’t say nothing, either. I leave you alone for five minutes and you’re, what? Giving true love another chance? Sleeping together? Dating? I’ve seen the way you look at him, Lizzie. It’s dangerous and he knows it.’
‘And how do I look at him?’ Lizzie sighed as she rolled her eyes. Best friends or not, this conversation had not been in her plans for today.
‘Like you want to devour him as much as he does you.’
‘It’s not like you to be so judgemental about someone, Gem.’ Lizzie was stung and she squeezed past her to switch on the coffee machine and find mugs. ‘Nothing’s happened, beyond one kiss that weekend. We didn’t plan it and I’m not expecting it to happen again.’
She wanted it to, though, and there was that delectable shiver again as she thought of spending time with him. A mug clattered onto the worktop, and she stood it back up.
‘You’re right, and I’m sorry.’ Gemma slipped her arms around Lizzie, hugging her quickly. ‘Please just promise me you’ll be careful. Fooling around, sleeping with him is one thing. Getting your heart smashed again is quite another, Lizzie. And you’ve never been big on the sleeping without involving your heart thing.’
‘I’m going to take some images for his Instagram and the brand launch, and that’s it, Gem. I’ve got six months in this flat to grow my business and that’s my focus. Cal’s paying me, and it’s another way to get my name out there. I need work I can rely on.’ Lizzie raised her voice over the beans grinding. ‘Don’t worry about me, please. You have enough to think about with the wedding. I’m a big girl and I’m going to make certain it’s wonderful for you and Simon.’
‘I know you are. And thank you. Just take care of yourself, please. I’m so excited to see what you’ve been planning.’
‘You don’t look it.’ Lizzie passed Gemma a cappuccino.
‘No? This is my best “I’m worried about my friend and excited about my wedding” face. Can’t you tell?’
There was a knock at the door and Gemma went to answer it. Ella had arrived and Lizzie made her a cup of ginger tea. There wasn’t room for three around the table so they sat on the small sofa and two armchairs to talk through the wedding reception Ella and Lizzie were creating.
Ella had already booked a yurt for the garden, which Gemma adored. Large enough for the guests as well as a dance floor and bar, it was the perfect space for a festival theme. Gemma, who wasn’t often lost for words, was rendered almost mute by Ella’s menu. Designed for communal dining, and guests helping themselves, the simple and elegant meal would be a hot buffet with waiting staff on hand to make sure all ran smoothly, with street food vendors for hungry festivalgoers later in the evening.
Lizzie had tracked down two Cumbrian bands, one of them a local group with whom Simon had briefly been a bass guitarist back in the day. An acoustic set during the guests’ arrival would be followed by rock and party classics. She suggested keeping the first band’s identity as a surprise for Simon, and Gemma was quick to agree.
Lizzie had also met with Marta, who had the candle studio at Halesmere. She and her partner Luke had recently set up a campsite at their farm down the road and Lizzie thought it might be nice to offer guests the opportunity to stick with the festival theme and camp for the night if they wished. Luke’s brother Will was Simon’s best man and they’d all hung out together back in the day. Gemma loved the new plans and as the afternoon went on Lizzie was relieved that the disappointments of the previous wedding cancellations were already becoming stories they could laugh about.
The next morning, Lizzie joined Gemma and Simon to hear the second banns being read by Sandy. It was a lovely old village church, snug, with a centuries-old tower recently repaired and set in a beautifully kept garden, mostly tended by Sandy, who loved gardening as much as she loved ceramics, her new parish and Strictly Come Dancing. As Lizzie’s car was still at Cal’s boathouse, she later walked down to the pub to have lunch with Ana and her girlfriend Rachael, and it was almost five before Lizzie returned to Halesmere.
On Monday morning, after yoga in the barn with Ana, Lizzie settled down to go over the details of the brand launch Ella had emailed. Ella’s morning sickness wasn’t great, and she’d already sent an apologetic message to say she couldn’t make the meeting she’d arranged with Lizzie.
A knock at the door had her leaping up with a grin. ‘You’re early, I thought you said you were busy first thing.’ She raised her voice, taking a quick step back when she opened the door. ‘Cal! Hi, I was expecting Stan. He’s supposed to be fixing a cupboard door for me. Not one he fitted, he made sure to point out.’
‘I’d offer to help but he’d never invite me into his workshop again if I made a mess of it.’ Cal ran a hand over his cropped hair. Lizzie was getting used to it; she’d always liked it longer, but the short style suited his face, especially with the beard.
‘Better not, then. You don’t want to be excommunicated.’
‘Is this a good moment to talk? It’s fine if not, we can arrange something else.’
‘Actually it’s a very good one, I’m just going over the details for the launch.’ Lizzie took a further step back. ‘Do you want to come in?’
‘You don’t mind?’
‘No, you need to know what’s going on.’
Cal ducked through the door, the space around them seeming to shrink to almost nothing. She was wondering where they stood on greeting one another now and made the decision for them, her hand light on his shoulder as she reached up to kiss his cheek. She was barefoot, smaller than him without heels and he returned the kiss, lips light on her face.
‘Would you like a drink?’ She cleared her throat, trying to remove the husky note their welcome had produced. ‘I made a banana and oat milk smoothie after yoga. I’m hoping to persuade Stan to try it when he turns up.’
‘Good luck with that. I saw him heading off to the shop for his bacon butty on my way in.’ Cal settled in a chair. ‘I think the only oats he consumes come covered in butter and sugar. The smoothie sounds great, thanks, if you have enough. I wouldn’t like to deprive Stan of a new experience.’
‘No, there’s plenty. You know him well.’ Lizzie was in the kitchen, still smiling as she returned to the sitting room. ‘Here you go.’
‘Thanks. You made yoga this morning then.’
‘I did.’ She’d been disappointed Cal hadn’t and she’d found it harder to ease her mind into the movements after the anticipation of wanting to see him had faded. ‘Why do you sound surprised?’
‘Only because I thought you might have been out with your camera instead.’
‘Not when Ana’s doing yoga. It’s a great way to start my day, especially when it’s literally on my doorstep.’
Already, there was an ease developing between them as they got used to one another again. Twelve years ago they’d been in a hurry to see everything, go everywhere, and they hadn’t often stood still. She was enjoying this time with him and the smile on his lips told her he felt the same. They’d never hidden their feelings and he knew her too well for Lizzie to start now.
‘It looks grand in here.’ Cal was checking out the flat and his glance went to the mezzanine and the view of the roll top bath in front of her bed. ‘A lot different to how I remember it. Weren’t the walls yellow?’
‘They were.’ Lizzie dragged her mind back to his comment, her thoughts stuck on the vision of him in the bath, with her. She wondered if he’d noticed, like Gemma, that it was big enough for two. ‘Ella said it was revolting when she arrived and she had to live in the house until the flat was renovated. So, the launch.’ Lizzie put her glass on the hearth. She had to focus; this event was important to everyone. ‘I love the theme of “Into the Wild”. I’ve looked up the company, but I’d like to hear your take on their story.’
‘Sure.’ Cal’s glass was empty, and it joined Lizzie’s before he crossed one ankle over a knee. ‘Oliver Holme is the founder and joint MD with his partner Sarah. I met with them after Oliver got in touch. He grew up in Cumbria but left to travel and met Sarah in Canada. They spent a few years in Ontario before deciding to settle here and set up their clothing business. It’s all sustainable, using recycled products and organic cotton in everything they can. They’re launching a luggage line along the same ethos, designed to be multifunctional, for anything from commuting to climbing.’
‘Perfect for you.’ She looked up from her notes and Cal smiled. ‘I’ve only seen a few images online of the brand and already I’m picturing you on the fells with one of their rucksacks on your back, scrambling to a summit.’
‘See, that’s why I wanted you. To work with, I mean.’ He quickly corrected himself but Lizzie had heard his other meaning. The one confessing he still wanted her as much as she did him.
‘So the yurt Ella’s booked for the launch – she’s lined up a bigger one for Gemma’s wedding – will work well if the weather’s not cooperating on the night, and there’ll be a mobile bar serving Cumbrian ales and spirits with soft drinks, keeping to the local theme.’ Lizzie was busy with her laptop. ‘I’ve been in touch with someone who runs workshops on living at nature’s pace and how we can better connect with the natural world. I’ve made a provisional booking, which I’ll confirm once I know you, Oliver, and Sarah are happy with it.’
‘I think that’s grand, Lizzie. I’m sure they will, too.’
‘I’ll send you all the link. It’ll be a short session on forest bathing, how to be calm and quiet amid the trees and observe nature with mindful breathing. I haven’t gone quite that deep before in a forest but it’s great for boosting well-being and reducing stress. I think we should tie some of that into your shots so it’s not all about bouldering and fells. There’s so much out there.’
‘I’ll make sure to show up on the night and do my thing.’ He shrugged, as though a few pictures of him was all that was required.
‘You’re not just someone they’ve brought in to make their products look good, Cal.’ Lizzie hoped to make him understand. ‘You love this place and that’s at the centre of everything you’re doing here, just like them. People want to follow you and that’s the whole ethos of your new business. You’re leading others into the landscape you love and helping them find what you already know – and we’re encouraging them to want to use the kit you use. That’s what we need to get across at the launch, with the right guests. You’re more pivotal to the brand than you maybe realise.’
‘You think?’ Cal’s laugh was awkward. ‘I don’t want all that stuff to take over again, Lizzie. I’ve been there, done that. I’ll do what I can and that’s enough.’
‘I understand. I can help.’
‘Thanks.’ His smile was telling her he trusted her, that she had his confidence and they’d look after each other on this project.
Her phone was ringing but she let it go to voicemail.
‘Sorry, I’m keeping you.’ Cal glanced at his own phone, and a wistful look was fleeting in his expression. He moved on the chair, as though he was about to get up, but changed his mind. ‘I had some news yesterday, about the search for my father.’
‘Cal, that’s brilliant! What have you found out?’ Her enthusiasm seemed to iron out some of the worry on his face.
He unlocked his phone, shifting to her side and sitting on the floor next to her chair so it was easier for Lizzie to see the image on the screen. ‘This is the best lead I have so far.’
‘Is that your mum? She was beautiful. Marianne, wasn’t it?’ Lizzie caught her breath at the image as Cal nodded, sliding down to sit next to him on the floor. Marianne’s blonde curls were loose around her face, glowing blue eyes full of laughter. How terrible for life to have become such a burden for one so vibrant and young. Lizzie didn’t think, her hand moving to cover his resting on his thigh, one finger tapping a quick beat.
‘I’m sorry for what happened to you both. It must have been so hard.’ An ache for his sorrow seemed lodged in her throat.
‘Thanks, Lizzie.’ Cal’s gaze was on her hand holding his. ‘Ach, I guess I was used to it. It was all I knew. But I really need to know who I am, where I came from, who he was. What their story was, him and my mum’s. It’s something to do with Cumbria, I can feel it. I know that sounds crazy.’
‘But what if you don’t find out?’ Lizzie was trying to summon back the few details they’d discovered twelve years ago. ‘And if you do find him, he could be anywhere. Disappeared or…’ She didn’t want to say it out loud, not yet.
‘I know.’ Cal’s head bowed. ‘Dead, or he might not want anything to do with me. He never got in touch or tried to find me. Mum always said that he wouldn’t be interested, that he had his own life, and it didn’t include us. That was how he wanted it. But if I find him then at least I’ll know some of the truth and that’s got to be better than always wondering. Half of my history is a blank page, Lizzie, and I really want to fill it.’
‘I understand.’ She couldn’t mistake the sadness in his voice, remembering her own family’s unwavering love and support, no matter the circumstances, and comparing it to Cal’s fractured family. The years he’d spent in care, the determination to stand on his own two feet and make a success of his future. She wished she could wrap her arms around him, tell him everything would be okay and that’d he find out where he fitted.
Chapter 14
Cal threaded his fingers between Lizzie’s, accepting of her sadness for his broken family. She saw the waterfall on his arm, the reminder of their love that he’d chosen to keep close. His hand released hers and she looked at the image of his mother on his phone again.
Marianne was sitting on grass, her arms wrapped around her knees. But it was the man holding her from behind that caught Lizzie’s attention this time. His short hair was already flecked with grey, long legs revealed by navy blue shorts. He and Marianne were laughing, his chin on her shoulder, seeming confident and assured in the pose. And if Lizzie knew anything at all about couples, they were in love. Connected and together, separate from the blur of figures behind them by more than just distance.
‘Do you know who he is?’ Had Cal, too, picked up on the similarity of his eyes and the shape of his face to this man’s?
‘No.’ Cal’s sigh was deep as he ran a hand over his chin. ‘But I need to find him, or at least who he is. Or was.’
‘It looks like they’re at a festival, I think I can make out a stage and some stalls. In summer, judging by that sky.’
‘Yeah, I thought that too. I know she sang at festivals the year before I was born. I found setlists for a couple and it turned out she was part of a folk band called Bluegrass Bobby. I managed to track down Bobby, the founding member, in Wales. He called me back yesterday but there wasn’t a lot he could tell me about our guy.’
‘So this man she’s with wasn’t a member of the band?’ Lizzie understood Cal’s frustration. One door opened and then another banged shut.
‘No. I emailed the image to Bobby, and he confirmed he saw this man and my mum together a few times, but he wasn’t a musician, not as far as he could remember. So that’s another dead end.’
‘And you don’t think your father could have been another member of the band? If she was with them all the time, maybe it was possible. Were any of them called Jim? I remember you said that was the name your mother used for him.’ But still Lizzie couldn’t dismiss the similarity between this man and Cal. Were they really staring at his father and yet might never know who this man actually was?
‘Well, it wasn’t Bobby,’ Cal said wryly. ‘He’s been very happily married for forty years and swears he’s never been unfaithful and I believed him. And the guitarist was in a relationship with the double bass player, so I doubt it was either of them. They’re both in the States now, I could find them if I want, but Bobby doesn’t think they’d know any more than him.’
‘Okay. So this man, with your mum. Are we calling him Jim?’ Lizzie wondered if Cal had noticed her using the term ‘we’ in that sentence.
‘I think we might as well.’ She liked how he used it, too, making her smile as he continued. ‘He’s my best lead, but without knowing exactly where this was taken, I’ve still got nothing to go on. Even if we do find out, if he’s not on a setlist or identifiable in some other way, I might never track him down.’
‘But it’s worth a try. You could maybe share the photo on social media and see if anything comes up. Someone, somewhere, knows who he is.’
‘Or was. There’s that to think of as well. And I like your idea in theory, Lizzie, but I don’t want to stir up a load of crazy stuff. Ach, there’s a reason why my mum wouldn’t say any more about him. “Jim” tells us nothing, not really.’
