Hopelessly Devoted, page 13
I turned and left him swearing and moaning as I stomped back out of the house.
I might regret that later but now I couldn’t care less. I had to find Derek and his sister. Ethan was the one who messaged me Derek was in trouble and I still had his address from when Ford had given me their info. But Ethan had been MIA since then. I hadn’t wanted to involve Jack. I wanted to take care of this for him and leave Triple F completely out of it. But that was no longer an option. Especially since I might have criminal charges pressed against me. I needed his help to find Ethan and Derek and he probably needed to know that I punched Derek’s dad in the face. Not that he would mind. Only that he should know.
I had just unlocked my phone to call him when Ethan finally texted me back. It was a dropped pin to a location and the words “found him.” I put it in my map and immediately headed that way.
I got there in minutes. I double-checked the address to make sure it was right. I parked in the high school parking lot and another text popped up.
“Under the bleachers,” Ethan’s text read.
I ran to the football field and found them almost immediately. What was it about bleachers that made teens feel so safe?
Ethan, Derek, and the sister, I presumed was Chloe, stood huddled under the bleachers. Chloe shared their jet-black hair but hers was long and straight. She wore thick eyeliner and had dark slashes for eyebrows. She spotted me first and stepped behind Ethan. Derek shot a glance to her before noting my arrival.
“Brawny Man,” Ethan said lightly.
That was my first indication something was going on. Derek gave me a sly grin.
“Are you hurt?” I asked him.
“Hurt?” He threw out his arms to show me. “I’m fine.”
“But your dad …” I had assumed that the split lip had come from some altercation. I looked to Ethan. “You said Derek was in trouble.”
Ethan scratched at the back of his neck. “I said he needed you.”
Chloe moved out from behind him. “Oh, this is him?” She tucked her hair back and smiled at me. “Hi, I’m Chloe.” She held out a limp hand.
I shook it and looked to Ethan. “William.” My head processed everything as fast as it could but nothing made sense. “Your dad looked busted up.”
“My dad?” Derek asked confused. “When did you see him?”
“I just left his house.” I felt less worried for them by the second but a different anxiety grew.
“We moved out last month. The second we were eighteen. Ethan’s mom has been letting us crash on the couch until we find a place. As far as my dad …” Derek frowned at the ground.
“He gets in fights at Dragon Bar all the time.” Chloe tossed her hair over her shoulder.
“What’s going on?” I said to Ethan.
“Look. I hadn’t meant for you to go there.” Ethan held up his arms like he was trying to calm an angry bear.
“Fuck,” I swore under my breath, running a hand over my face. “I punched him in the face. He could press charges,” I said.
Ethan laughed into his fist. “Oh shit, that’s awesome. I wish I could have seen it.”
Chloe and Derek shared a look I didn’t like. Despite all the shit, they were still his kids. There was no accounting for what that bond made people feel.
“Ethan. If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I will lose my shit,” I said gravely.
“Skip?” His deep voice sent chills down my spine.
I spun on my feet toward Jack. His eyebrows furrowed in concern, a phone in one hand. He was more gorgeous than I remembered. The whole world dimmed around him where he shone like a beacon in the night.
“Jack,” I breathed his name.
He was a little disheveled, for him at least. His usually short-cropped hair grown out a little and his beard longer than I’d seen it. As he stepped closer, the bags under his eyes told me he’d been sleeping as well as I had been.
“What’s going on?” He looked at each of us. “Are you okay?” he asked Derek.
“I’m fine.” He turned to his friend. “Jesus, Ethan. I told you this was a stupid fucking plan,” Derek said.
Jack stepped closer. “So I don’t need to call the police? You aren’t hurt?”
Derek shook his head. “Look. We just wanted you two to talk.”
“You’ve both been fucking miserable for months,” Ethan added to Jack.
It all clicked into place. Jack slid his phone into his pocket, his other hand pressed to his chest in relief.
I dropped my head down. “Shit.”
“And I knew that Brawny Man was in town this week …” Ethan trailed off.
“We’ve been played,” I said to Jack.
Jack went perfectly still. His expression unreadable.
“And I might have caused some additional problems,” I added.
“He punched that asshat in the face!” Ethan said excitedly.
Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“I didn’t know about any of this,” I explained. “I didn’t mean to punch him … I just—” I felt the shame of my actions start to creep in. What if I put Triple F in serious jeopardy?
Jack shook his head at the ground. “I’m just jealous I didn’t see it.” When he lifted his head, his dimples were full on.
All at once I felt like I could take a breath in for the first time in months. The look he gave me held so much I wished three teenagers weren’t standing nearby.
“That’s what I said!” Ethan said excitedly.
Jack held my gaze as hard as I held his.
“Oh okay, I see,” Chloe said to Ethan.
“Told you. The heat, it burns,” he replied in a dramatic voice.
“Why don’t we let them talk. That was the whole point of this after all,” Derek said.
Distantly I was aware that the three of them stepped away. I should be annoyed at their machinations but I couldn’t be. Not with Jack here. Everything I had been feeling locked into place instantly. Whatever else didn’t matter. Only he mattered.
Jack stepped forward. “I have wanted to call—”
I didn’t let him finish. I grabbed the back of his head and waist, pulling him to me. I wrapped my arms around him so tight he probably couldn’t move even if he wanted to. He stiffened and then relaxed as his own arms wrapped tight around me.
“God, I’ve missed you,” I said as I held on for dear life.
“Skip,” he said.
“I should have called. I don’t know why I-I didn’t.” I closed my eyes tight as I inhaled his clean scent.
“Shh, it’s okay. I know. Me too.” His voice was tight as his hand smoothed up and down my back.
“I was so scared. You wouldn’t believe,” I said.
“Believe what?”
“There’s only you. It’s only ever been you. I had to get my head on straight but S-S … there’s nobody else. It’s just you.”
He pulled back, cupping my cheek in his hand. “I was an idiot to push you away. I was scared too.”
His mouth was on me. We kissed with all the desire the last few months had taken from us.
“I’m so sorry,” I said between breaks.
“I love you.” He kissed my nose. My cheek. My closed eyes.
“I love you too.”
We had so much to say, so much to explain. But all we could do was hold each other. I couldn’t stand another moment away from him. I’d wasted too much time already.
I grabbed his hand.
“Let’s go to my house,” he said.
“What about the kids?” I asked.
“We can deal with them later.”
We walked back to the parking lot hand in hand.
It all felt so good. All the years of never being sure, all clicked into place. I would love him no matter what. We would figure everything else out. It didn’t matter. I looked up at the stars. How could I have let myself waste any time where our lives were so short? A flicker in the grand scheme. I couldn’t waste a moment more.
I turned to Jack, grateful for everything that led to that moment. He smiled at me in a way that told me he felt exactly the same.
I saw the headlights then. Moving too fast. Too erratically.
Time slowed in a way I’d never experienced.
A truck careened through the parking lot. A man with a black eye and split lip behind the wheel with disgusted rage in his eyes. Too fast. Coming right at us.
Jack.
Right there in the path of being hit. He was looking at me like I was everything. Completely unaware of the madman trying to take the most wonderful person from the planet from me.
There was no time to debate. I acted. I pushed Jack away as hard as I could. I braced myself for impact.
The flash of headlights. A loud snap. Shocking pain.
Blackness.
Chapter 16
Skip
The heavy steps of male boots woke me from my haze. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I was disappointed to see Sanders standing in front of me. Sanders looking pitiful, worried, and like a burned-out European soccer player.
I gripped my sheets and turned to the window, not ready to face him. “I’m going to be fine,” I said. “You didn’t have to come all the way down here.”
“Come on, mate,” he said in a choked voice.
I’d moved out. I’d tried so hard to move on. Sanders and I spoke a few times to wrap up the final clients of OTB but that was it. I’d hardly seen him since I was busy wrapping up a few clients and took several trips out to Green Valley to help Ford with Triple F. I was trying to show Jack that I was ready to live the life that I wanted. I was ready to show him that there was nobody else for me. Instead, I spent the last few months feeling more alone than ever. All the emotions came to the surface the moment I saw Sanders. How could I have ever thought I was in love with him? I loved him, of course, but there was nothing comparable to the potent devastation of having Jack and losing him.
“Of course, I’m here,” he said.
I couldn’t hide the anger on my face when I turned back to him. I didn’t want to hide what I felt anymore. If Sanders and I wanted to move on in our friendship, I couldn’t hold anything back anymore.
He pulled up the chair next to the bed and sat down. “I hate this. I hate everything I’ve done. I hate seeing you like this,” he said.
His emotions were right there on the surface. He looked miserable. It softened me because I knew he was a mess too. We all were.
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” I asked. “Seeing somebody you care about in a hospital bed?”
He held my gaze and nodded. We both knew we needed to hash this out once and for all.
“Imagine seeing it all the time. Imagine seeing the most important person to you in the world, constantly putting themselves in danger, making stupid choices and not giving a shit how it impacted those around them,” I said.
“I know. I’ve been so selfish. I’m sorry. I’ve been talking to a therapist. I know I was putting myself at risk because I—I didn’t want to go out like my father. And losing my mom so suddenly. I guess it messed with me in ways I didn’t even recognize. But I never did it to hurt you.”
“Yeah, but you did,” I said harshly.
Maybe I wasn’t being fair but these last few months were so hard on me and I needed a friend too.
“I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t care,” I said. “You never cared enough to call before you left. To say where you were going. But I was always there, wasn’t I? Walking behind you, sweeping up the pieces all too eagerly. You let me.” Jack had been right about that part at least. Maybe I wasn’t in love with him like Jack thought, but we did hold each other back to stay in this comfortable bubble. To try to stay protected from getting hurt.
To Sanders’ credit, he just listened. Didn’t try to deny anything. It seemed he had changed as much as I had.
“We’re done with this, Sanders,” I said but couldn’t quite meet his gaze.
“What?” His voice cracked and I felt it just above my heart.
“This enabling of each other.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
Heat burned my ears and my vision blurred. I had to get this out. I needed to say this. “I deserve better,” I said.
“Fuck yes, you do. I want you to be happy. You deserve everything.”
I went on, “I needed you when Dad died. And you left.” I needed to share with him about Jack and all the heartache and fear of our shared night together but I never felt like I could share that with him.
“I’ve been so selfish.”
“I know you were in pain. I was hurting too,” I said.
“I’m not gonna do it again, mate. I’ll show you in a hundred ways. Whatever you need.”
I sighed preparing to say the thing I had been fearing the most. The truth that I thought would damage our friendship irrevocably. This could be the reason Sanders kept me around. What if, after this, I never heard from him?
“I think it’s time to close down OTB.” The words tangled on my tongue and I started over. “No. I know that I don’t want to do OTB anymore. It was always your passion and not mine.”
“Okay.” He nodded once, his face serious. “We will work out the details when you’re better. There aren’t any clients right now anyway.”
I blinked at him. Okay. He was still here. I should have trusted in our friendship more. I shouldn’t have doubted it but just having him stay and know I meant more than the business, meant everything. Jack had been right. Gretchen had been right. When you loved someone and cared about them, you wanted their happiness no matter what. Even if it didn’t align with your own plans. Why had I doubted that Sanders would want that for me? Our whole lives together he had always strived to make me happy. When had I thought that changed?
I collected myself and asked, “You’re talking to someone?”
“Yeah. They’re helping me work through some shit.”
“Good. You’re allowed to be more than one thing, Sanders. I’m your best friend for who you are, not because you can charm a car salesman out of his coat.” The words slipped out but I knew they would never stop being true.
He smiled a huge, real grin for the first time since he got here. A tear balanced on his eyelid. “I’m glad I haven’t fucked it up so bad.”
“You have a lot of making up to do. Not just to me.” Roxy and I had talked a lot since he left. He owed her big-time.
“Oh yeah, I know,” he said.
“Strength comes from living through the pain, not ignoring it. Your father told me that.”
He reached for my hand and I squeezed it back. We shared a moment thinking of William.
“Skip!” Roxy’s worried voice brought both of our attention to the doorway.
I glanced to Sanders to find him watching her wide-eyed and hopeful. These two really needed to talk.
Jack
I walked into the hospital room with shaking hands and a lump in my throat. I almost broke down when I spotted him in the bed, his foot in a cast.
“Skip?” I gasped.
I hadn’t been able to go with him to the hospital. I had to take the kids back to my house, to keep them safe while we did all the police paperwork. Derek and Chloe’s father was going away for a while and with the custody order he wouldn’t be able to hurt them or anybody else for a long time.
This was my first time seeing Skip since he saved my life. He saved my life.
“Jack,” he said. His lips were tight and his color was pale.
“Are you okay?” I walked toward Skip, desperate to reach for him but still so unsure about everything. I ended up keeping my hands in my pockets.
Skip scooted up higher in the bed and tucked some stray hairs back. He looked more gorgeous than I remembered, even battered.
He held my gaze, my intense stare making him blush.
“I feel ridiculous. It’s just a broken bone. I’m going to be fine,” he said.
I examined him from head to toe, feeling my eyes welling. He looked so fragile like this. I couldn’t stand it. He was so big and strong; he shouldn’t ever be hurt.
“We’ll just go and see if we can find some coffee,” a voice said.
Only then did I notice the other occupants of the room, Roxy and a haggard-looking Sanders. She was dragging him out but I couldn’t care less. I only saw Skip. My Skip.
As soon as they were out of the room, I brushed hair back off his forehead. He had a deep scratch that had been cleaned and glued.
“I can’t believe that you did that,” I said, my voice tight. “You saved my life, Skip.”
He swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “You saved mine first,” he said.
I gasped out a tight cough. I couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t believe we wasted any time when this was so real. How could I have ever denied it? I hadn’t even cared when I saw Sanders sitting there. Sanders had nothing on what I felt for Skip.
He seemed to understand too. He nuzzled into my hand.
“How are the kids?” he asked.
My heart pounded. Whatever worries I had, whatever stupid petty fears that held me back were gone the moment I saw him again. When that truck hit him, my worst fears were realized. I could never lose this man. Whatever it took, we had to give us a try.
“They’re fine. Shook up. At my house.”
“And that asshole?”
“Jail. The kids are pressing charges. They’re going to get a restraining order too if he manages to get bail.”
Skip let out a sigh and leaned back.
“I didn’t know you were back,” I said. I wanted to finish our earlier conversation. Put the past behind us so we could move forward.
He turned toward me. “I didn’t know what to say. I was trying to work through some stuff. I thought about calling you a hundred times.”
“Me too.” I swallowed. “I’m sorry for pushing you out that night. I just wish—”
“No. You were right to. I had to get my head on straight.” He held my gaze.
“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I was so afraid.”
