Heartsick & Lipsticks, page 23
Shit. I should have thought of that. “Here, I’ll get it.”
She nodded and closed her eyes. The dark circles beneath her eyes and pale skin revealed she was exhausted. I wasn’t sure if the walk outside had been too much for her or if it was the exertion from attempting to open the bottle.
I twisted the top off and grabbed a straw, something I’d noticed that Skye always did for her, then set it down directly in front of her. I sipped my beer as her eyes opened, and she leaned forward and sipped.
“How are you feeling?” I knew it was a stupid question as soon as I said it, but it was too late to take it back.
Her lips curled up at the edges as she sat the drink back down. “Okay, I’m just tired.”
I nodded.
“Thank you again for letting me come and stay with you.”
I opened my mouth to tell her that she didn’t need to thank me, but instead I said, “Why didn’t you let me come visit you? In prison? Why did you take me off the list?”
Her eyes met mine, and for the first time since she’d arrived, I saw that they were filled with both fear and maybe even resignation. “I told myself it was because I didn’t know what to say when you asked me questions about…your father.” She took a labored breath. “But I think it was really because I was ashamed. I didn’t want you to see me in there like that. I just wanted you to have a happy life and forget about me. I’m sorry.”
My first instinct was to tell her that it was okay and to forgive her, but instead I asked, “What happened that night with my father?”
I’d read the police report. It said that my father was asleep in bed and that Naomi shot him in the head. That was it. The trial was over before it started because she took a plea deal, so there was limited information in the case file.
She took a shallow breath, and I saw that her bottom lip was quivering. I didn’t want to upset her, but I really wanted answers.
“Sam, your dad, was lying in bed. Asleep. And I shot him.”
I knew that. “Why? Why did you shoot him?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.”
She shifted in her chair, and I could see that she didn’t want to have this conversation. “Because I had to.”
“Why did you have to?” I asked, even though I was fairly sure I knew the answer. “Did he hurt you?”
She nodded. “Not when he was sober, but he got angry when he drank. A month before I shot him, when I was six months pregnant, he came home from the bar in the middle of the night.” She wheezed loudly as she took a labored breath. “I’d made dinner for him that night, but when he didn’t come home after work, I put it in the fridge. He came in at three in the morning and was upset that his dinner was cold and I was asleep in bed. He woke me up by punching and kicking me. He broke two ribs.” She closed her eyes as she took in another shallow breath.
Anger boiled in my blood. “Did you go to the hospital?”
She nodded. “A neighbor, Mrs. Jenson, took me the next day.”
“Did you tell them at the hospital what he did?” I wasn’t sure what the laws were twenty years ago, but now they would have had to report it if she had.
She shook her head. “I told them that I fell down the stairs at my condo.”
“Why didn’t you call the cops?”
A wrinkle appeared above her forehead, and she stared at me as if she didn’t understand what I’d said. As if the suggestion to call the authorities confused her.
“What?” I asked.
“He was a cop.”
A sick feeling sank in my stomach. How did I not know that? I’d never looked him up; that’s why. After going to the prison and being sent away, I hadn’t wanted to know anything about my past. I wanted to put it all behind me and only focus on my future.
She licked her lips before taking another sip of lemonade, then leaned back in her chair. “A month later, the night I shot him, he came home drunk again. This time, he was upset because there was a dish in the sink. He choked me until I lost consciousness. When I woke up on the kitchen floor, I went into the bedroom, and he was lying there asleep. I just looked at him, and I knew that if I didn’t do something, he would end up…” A tear fell down her face.
“Killing you,” I finished for her.
“No.” She shook her head. “I didn’t care if he killed me. I knew that he would end up hurting you. I was never going to let him touch you.” She adjusted the oxygen tube in her nose. “I ran away from home at fifteen because my father was… He took out his frustrations on me and my mom. She never did anything. She never tried to protect me. She just pretended it wasn’t happening. I promised myself I would never be like her. That when I had a child, I would do anything to protect them.
“When I met Sam, I thought I’d found Prince Charming. He was kind, loving, and attentive. We never fought, but looking back on it, I was a kid, and I just sort of did whatever he wanted. I thought he was taking care of me, but now I know he was controlling.
“We were together for two years before I got pregnant. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes because I loved him and thought he was going to make the best dad. But after we got married, something changed in him. He told me what to wear, who I could talk to, and made me quit my job at the daycare because he thought the dads checked me out.
“Overnight, it was like a switch flipped. I thought maybe it was because I was pregnant and he was just being protective. But then he started grabbing my arm too tightly and pushing me. Before I knew it, he was punching, kicking, and choking me.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I was not going to let that happen to you. I was not going to let him hurt you.”
Feeling helpless and guilty for what she’d been through, I leaned forward and took her hands in mine as tears filled my eyes. “I am so sorry that he hurt you. I’m sorry that no one protected you. I’m sorry that I didn’t know any of—"
“I didn’t want you to know!” She cut me off. “I didn’t want you to think that you were anything like him. And I was ashamed of where I was and of what I’d done.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed about.”
“Oh, there you are, Miss Naomi.” Tina, the day nurse on the weekends, walked out into the backyard. “It’s time for your afternoon pills.”
I stood to help my mom. My hands cradled her elbows as she rose up. Once she was on her feet, I wrapped my arms around her and held her. It was the first time I’d ever hugged her. The first time I’d ever hugged my mom. At first, she froze, and I was scared that I’d hurt her. But then she leaned her head against my chest and wrapped her arms around me. She felt so fragile and tiny in my arms.
I held her as tears fell down my face. More than anything else I’d ever wanted in my life; I wanted a time machine so that I could go back and save her. I would pay anything to do that. What the fuck was all the money good for if I couldn’t right these wrongs?
“I’m sorry,” I said again before loosening my hold on her and wiping my face with my hands.
She looked up at me and patted her hand against my chest. Tears were brimming in her bright blue eyes. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I am so proud of you.”
“I’m proud of you, too,” I said as I hugged her once more.
I was still holding her when my phone alerted me to someone at the side gate.
“Shit,” I said as I pulled it out and saw that Kurt was there with the horses. “Here, I’ll help you back to your room.”
“I’ve got it,” Tina assured me.
As I walked to the side of the house, I was trying to process everything my mom had just told me. There was so much more I wanted to say to her, but right now I was just so angry. I was angry at myself for never finding out the truth. I was angry at my father, whom I’d kill if he wasn’t already dead. I was angry at the system for letting my mom down.
I had more questions, but I was not going to upset her by asking them. I had other ways of discovering information.
32
SKYE
“This is…” Ri’s statement tapered off as she scanned Nick’s backyard filled with loud music and kids laughing, eating, and swimming.
“I know.” I still couldn’t believe he’d done all of this for Callie. And he’d refused to allow me to pay for any of it. Even though I knew that he had plenty of money, I still felt guilty about it. I was sure I’d pay him back for everything he’d done for me, and Callie, and my mom; I just didn’t know how or when.
“And the house…the house is…” Again, Ri was unable to finish her thought.
“I know.”
I’d never seen my bestie speechless before. But I understood her being at a loss for words. I had to admit that I truly did not have any idea how to communicate what I was feeling either. Not just for today, although the lengths he’d gone to in order to do this for Callie meant more to me than he would ever know. But not just today; the past six weeks had been the best of my life.
Not because of the amazing house or not having to worry about paying for groceries or whether or not my car was going to break down. It was the people in the house. For the first time in my life I felt like I had a real family. Our dinners. Our movie nights. Our weekends down at the beach.
It wasn’t just Nick, the girls, and me; it was having Lola and Naomi there too. It felt intergenerational. And it was about to end.
“The birthday girl looks like she’s having blasties.”
“She is,” I confirmed.
Callie had not stopped smiling since she woke up this morning. She was so excited to bring Bella with us to the nail salon. They both picked out the same color for their nails and toes. They talked nonstop the entire time. I got some really cute videos that I sent to Nick. He responded with a GIF that said he couldn’t stand the cuteness.
Right now, Callie, Jenny, and a few of their friends were doing cheerleading pyramids with Bella, Lexi, and Hannah.
“She and Bella seem like long-lost sisters or something.”
“I know.” The sick feeling I’d had in my stomach since yesterday morning churned as I thought about the news I needed to break to them.
“What’s going to happen when you guys have to move out?”
I sighed and decided I couldn’t keep the secret I’d been holding any longer. “I don’t know, but I’ll find out next week.”
Ri turned her head toward me. “Next week?”
“The property management company called yesterday. We can move back on Friday.”
Ri’s eyes widened. “Does Callie know?”
“No, no one does. I’m waiting until after the birthday party to tell everyone.” We heard loud giggles, and looked over to see the pyramid had collapsed and all the girls were cracking up. Bella and Callie were both on their backs, holding their stomachs, belly laughing.
“That’s probably a good call.” Ri nodded before looking back in my direction. “Obviously, I know Callie’s not going to be happy about the move back, but what about you?”
“What about me?”
“How do you feel about no longer living in Casa de Love, I mean de Locke?”
Love. I was in love with Nick, but that was a moot point. “It was always temporary.”
“That’s not an answer.”
I nodded and tried to blink away the emotion as I teared up. I felt like Cinderella, and for the past six weeks, I’d been at the ball. But Friday was the stroke of midnight. The carriage was going to turn into a pumpkin. My dress was going to turn back to rags. This fairytale was ending, and it was not going to be with a happily ever after.
“Incoming,” Ri said without moving her lips. It was something she’d learned to do in middle school when we were in study hall. Mr. Bellamy watched us like a hawk, but he couldn’t hear anything out of his left ear. Ri would talk without moving her mouth, so she didn’t get detention.
I sniffed back my tears and turned my head in the direction Ri was looking. When I did, I saw Nick heading straight for me. He wore a white T-shirt, jeans, and a ball cap and looked downright edible. His long strides ate up the distance between us, and my heart skipped like it was in a double Dutch competition.
He’d been manning the barbecue all day with Alex and Maddox, and I’d been busy hosting and catching up with Ri, so we hadn’t really had a chance to speak. It was only a few hours, but I’d missed him. Which didn’t bode well for the emotional journey I’d be on after I left Casa de Locke.
Ri turned toward me, and her face split into a wide smile. “I’ve gotta go see a horse about a man.”
I watched as Ri passed Nick and greeted him with a salute, then sexily strode toward her target, Kurt, who was supervising the horse rides. Nick glanced around before stepping beside me. We were shoulder to shoulder, not face to face.
“Did you get something to eat?” I asked because he’d been feeding everyone else, and I wanted to make sure he hadn’t forgotten about himself.
His head tilted to the side as he rasped, “The only thing I want to eat is you.”
A shiver chased down my spine. Since the night we’d shared together when the girls were at camp, Nick and mine’s relationship had changed. He’d been discreet about it, which I appreciated, but he whispered sweet and sometimes dirty things to me when no one was looking. We’d even shared a few stolen kisses. I knew that we were getting sloppy, but I couldn’t stop behaving like a lovesick teenager when he was around. Not that it mattered for much longer since we’d be going home in less than a week.
After leaving me hot and bothered, he straightened back up and spoke at a normal level. “Have you gotten anything to eat?”
His ability to act totally normal after saying or doing dirty things was truly a gift. The only time he’d had any issue was when he’d felt me up, in the butler’s pantry actually, and Carmen called him to help her with something. He’d needed a minute to, well, redistribute the blood that had flowed to his groin.
“Yep,” I nodded, still feeling a little flustered. Not from what he’d said, but just from his nearness.
“Does Rihanna like horses?” he asked as we watched her run her hand down Cobalt’s black mane.
“Not as much as she likes Kurt.”
“Really?” he asked.
“Yep.”
We watched together as Ri’s head fell back in laughter at something he’d said. I was surprised to hear that Ri’s laugh was a genuine one. She was a master flirt, but I could always tell if she was fake-laughing. I wondered what Kurt could have said that was so funny. He hadn’t struck me as having a particularly good sense of humor, but Ri tended to bring out sides of people no one else saw.
“They actually make a cute couple, don’t you think?” Nick observed.
“Yeah.” Compared to the men Ri normally dated, Kurt was a cut above. He was kind, seemed stable, and had a job. Which might be the qualities that would send him right into the friendzone. Ri had a propensity for dating bad boys. I hoped Kurt was bad enough to keep her interest, but good enough to deserve her.
“Nick.”
We turned and saw Jada. She wore a burnt orange midi dress that complemented her golden bronze skin. Her curly hair was piled up on top of her head, framing her sweetheart-shaped face. Her face looked bare except for the deep berry shade on her lips and her lashes, which were thick and long, highlighting two of her best features.
“Bella was asking for you,” she smiled.
“Oh, okay.” The back of his knuckles brushed mine before he headed down to the pool, where Bella was swimming with her friends Lexi and Hannah.
The skin-on-skin contact sent a tingle up my arm. I felt myself flush and hoped that Jada didn’t notice as she took Nick’s place beside me.
“Thanks for all your help with the party.” Jada had been instrumental in pulling this off, and I was eternally grateful. I was also going to have to figure out how to pay her back as well.
“It was my pleasure. Callie is a doll, and Bella has been so happy since you guys have been here.”
I’d noticed the same thing, which made the fact that we were going to be leaving in a week sit in my stomach like a ton of bricks. Jada continued watching Nick until he made it to the edge of the pool and began talking to Bella, then she turned to me.
“Nick is turning forty in a few weeks.”
“Oh.” I pretended like I didn’t know that, even though I did. I remembered it from when I’d googled him, and Naomi had mentioned it last week. She wanted to get him something but didn’t know what to get a man who could buy anything.
“Alex is getting married the week before, so Nick didn’t want to plan anything to take away from that. But Alex and Maddox are throwing him a surprise party.”
“Oh, that’s nice.” They both seemed like really good guys. I was happy that he had them in his life.
“And you’re invited.”
I placed my hand on my chest. “Me? Why?”
“Nick would want you there. Believe me.”
“Oh um… I don’t think… I’m not sure…” I wondered if Jada knew that we’d hooked up, and that was why she was inviting me. Did she think I was the flavor of the month? I wasn’t. We weren’t dating. Which meant there was a good chance he’d have a date there.
“I emailed you the evite, but I just wanted to let you know it’s coming,” Jada said before walking back the way she’d come.
Panic rose inside of me. If Jada knew that we’d hooked up, I wondered who else knew. Did Naomi, Parker, or Carmen? I was pretty sure if Lola or Callie suspected anything, I’d be the first to know. Or maybe not. After hearing Lola talking to Naomi last week, it was clear she didn’t tell me everything.
My mind was going a mile a minute as Ri joined me again. “Why do you look like the time my dad caught us smoking weed in the backyard?”
I still felt mortified that Mr. Marsh had caught us. Ri hadn’t cared at all. She was more of a ‘ask for forgiveness than ask for permission sort of a girl.’ But not me. I’d been mortified.
