Second Chances in Tuppenny Bridge: A totally heartwarming feel-good read, page 27
‘How awful,’ Kat said. ‘The whole thing’s horrible. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I understand why you were so angry, but even so. It seems to me Sofia had been through enough, and she and Tommy were having a bad time of it, too.’
‘I know,’ Jonah said. ‘I came to my senses after about a month. I was worried about them. I made enquiries, found out where they were living, and I went to see her. We had a long talk. She told me she loved me in her own way, and that she was sorry, wanted another chance, but I couldn’t go there again. I loved Tommy, and I wanted the best for him, so I agreed to help her out. I gave her the deposit for a decent flat and gave her money for Tommy every week. Of course, once the divorce started I was paying her official child support anyway, but I always gave her extra, and if Tommy needed anything on top of that I’d pay for it. But the thing that really got to me was the way she’d blackmail me.’
‘Blackmail you? How?’
‘If she wanted something—maybe she needed an electricity bill paying, or Tommy needed new shoes—she’d always threaten to stop me seeing him if I didn’t pay up. There was no need for her to be like that. I’d never refused to help her financially, so why do that? What was the point? It just made me despise her.’
‘Maybe,’ Kat said thoughtfully, ‘she was testing you, to see how much you wanted to see Tommy? Or maybe she didn’t trust you to keep your word? After everything she’d been through with this Chris bloke, not to mention the way her own parents had treated her, you can hardly blame her for not believing in other people’s promises.’
‘I’m not Chris,’ he said immediately. ‘I’m nothing like him.’
‘I know that,’ she said. ‘And I’m sure Sofia did, too, deep down.’
‘Well anyway,’ he said, ‘she didn’t make it easy for me to see Tommy. There were lots of missed weekends until I took her to court for proper access. I didn’t want to do that, but I had to make her see that Tommy needed me as much as he ever had. Whatever had gone on between me and Sofia, I genuinely loved Tommy, and I knew he loved me. Why Sofia acted that way I’ve never fathomed. She’d say no to me having him for the weekend, even though it had been agreed, and then she’d go out and leave him with a neighbour or something.’
‘It sounds like she was trying to exert some control,’ Kat suggested. ‘Maybe because she’d had so little control in everything else. And maybe it was partly about punishing you.’
‘For what?’ Jonah asked, aghast. ‘I did everything I could for them both.’
‘Except take her back,’ Kat said gently.
‘Can you blame me for that?’
‘No, I can’t. I don’t. I’m just seeing it from her side, that’s all.’ Kat squeezed his hand tightly. ‘You’ve been through a lot, Jonah. I can see that. You did the best you could in terrible circumstances.’
‘And then of course she died,’ he said quietly. ‘It was so unfair, Kat. No warning, nothing. She didn’t deserve that.’
Kat nodded. ‘An aneurism, wasn’t it? I remember how shocked we all were. She was far too young. The only thing to be thankful for is that she didn’t suffer.’
‘But she’d had such a rotten life. I wish I could have been her happy ending… Well anyway, there was all the guilt to deal with on top of learning that I was now solely responsible for Tommy. It’s been quite a learning curve.’
‘But you’ve done him proud,’ Kat said, ‘and I’m certain that Sofia would be so grateful and happy for the way you’ve looked after him. You know, I think you’re wrong about her in a way. I think she did love you. And I think she trusted you, too, far more than she’d ever trusted Chris. Think about it. She adored Tommy, and was a good mother to him, and she chose you to be his adopted father. She clearly knew that she could rely on you to be there for him if the worst should happen. That took a lot of courage and faith, Jonah. Don’t underestimate her feelings for you.’
He hadn’t thought of it that way before and was surprised to feel a little comforted by her words.
‘Maybe so.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Doesn’t help with the Corcoran situation though, does it? I can’t believe I’m here after all this time, dealing with his bloody family and their demands.’
‘Are you really so against them seeing Tommy?’ Kat asked. ‘I mean, if what Phillip says is true—’
‘If,’ Jonah reminded her. ‘You can never be sure you’re getting the truth from a Corcoran.’
‘Okay, but if it’s true that they’ve only just found out about Tommy, it doesn’t really seem fair that they’re denied access to him, does it?’
‘I don’t want them to have access,’ Jonah protested. ‘He’s nothing to do with them. It’s not my fault their precious son threw away his rights, is it? I adopted Tommy legally. He’s not a Corcoran and he never will be.’
Kat bit her lip, and his eyes narrowed.
‘You don’t agree?’
‘I just think, well, it seems harsh. They’re his grandparents. Don’t they deserve to get to know him? None of this is their fault.’
‘It’s not mine either!’
He couldn’t believe she was taking their side in all this. Hadn’t she heard a word he’d just said? Chris Corcoran had made his life a misery, and he didn’t want Tommy to be involved with his family in any way. Why couldn’t she see that?
‘I just think they sound decent. Not like Chris. He clearly told them about Tommy to hurt them, and if he knew it would do that then obviously they’re nothing like him. If they were, they wouldn’t be bothered about seeing Tommy, would they?’
‘And what if it’s a scam? What if they’re planning to whisk him abroad?’
Kat waved the question away. ‘Well, is that really likely?’
‘I can’t believe you’re not taking this seriously,’ he said, pulling away from her.
‘I am,’ she said, turning round to fully face him. ‘It’s just—well, don’t you think it would be a shame for Tommy to never know his grandparents? Especially since Sofia’s parents will never know him, not to mention the way your mother treats him. The more loving people a child has in his life the better, don’t you think?’
He got to his feet, pacing the floor as he tried to make sense of what she’d said.
‘They could be awful people,’ he pointed out. ‘Look at the boy they raised! Why would I want people like that around my son?’
‘You can’t automatically blame the parents for the way the man turned out,’ Kat said, shaking her head at the idea. ‘It’s like blaming you for the way your mother is.’
‘It’s nothing like that! I didn’t bloody bring her up, did I?’
‘No, but she brought you up, yet despite it all you’re nothing like her. So why assume the Corcorans are anything like Chris, especially when Phillip seems completely different, and they sound like a decent family. I’m sorry, I don’t want to argue with you, but I just think it would be cruel to deprive them of their grandson, and cruel to deprive Tommy a chance to get to know his grandparents.’
Jonah felt icy cold. ‘Really?’ he asked. ‘So how often does Hattie get to see her grandparents?’
‘My dad’s abroad,’ she said, bewildered. ‘You know that.’
‘I meant her paternal grandparents,’ he said. ‘How much contact do you allow them with their granddaughter?’
Kat paled. ‘I can’t believe you just said that to me.’
‘Why? It’s the same thing.’
‘It’s not the same thing at all. It’s nothing like it.’
‘Why isn’t it? Because Hattie’s father still sees her?’
Kat got to her feet. ‘I’m going to bed,’ she said stiffly. ‘My own bed. I’ll see you in the morning when, hopefully, you’ll have had a chance to calm down.’
All the fire and rage within him subsided immediately, and he stared at her bleakly, all too aware that he’d hurt her.
‘Kat—’ he began, but she ignored him and headed out of the living room without looking back.
He sank onto the sofa and put his head in his hands. Bloody Corcorans, causing trouble for him yet again!
But he couldn’t hide behind them. For once, this wasn’t their fault. It was he who had hurt Kat. No one else. What a bloody mess.
TWENTY-FOUR
Kat usually looked forward to Saturdays, when Jonah wasn’t working, and Tommy wasn’t at school. Today, though, as she looked out of the window at the dark sky, seeing yet more raindrops pattering on the glass, she thought this particular Saturday was going to be anything but fun.
She couldn’t believe Jonah had attacked her like that—dragging her own circumstances into their argument to make a point. She’d only been trying to help him. He had no right to bring up Hattie’s parentage.
She wiped away tears as guilt swept over her. Hypocrite!
She couldn’t go there again. It was too much to deal with. Time to get on with the day. Fifteen minutes later she crept downstairs to make herself a cup of tea. It was still early, and Hattie and Tommy probably wouldn’t wake up for another hour. As for Jonah—he tended to be up early during the week, but weekends were his time for a lie-in. He would get up when the kids did most likely. Maybe now would be a good time to start planning her knitting empire.
She went into the kitchen and stopped dead, her heart racing as she saw Jonah sitting at the table, a mug of tea in front of him.
‘You’re up early,’ she said coolly, trying to strike a balance between I’m not really talking to you and I’m not ignoring you completely.
‘I didn’t sleep well,’ he admitted, and a quick glance at him confirmed he had dark shadows under his eyes. Despite herself, she felt a pang of sympathy for him. This Tommy business was really worrying him.
She sighed and checked the kettle. The water was lukewarm. He must have made that tea ages ago.
‘Would you like a fresh brew?’
‘If it’s no trouble. Thank you.’
‘Don’t be daft.’ She took his half-empty mug from him and, on impulse, bent to kiss the top of his head. ‘It will all work out, you know. It’s your decision. They can’t force you to let them see Tommy, but if you do decide to let them there’s nothing stopping you from being present the whole time to make sure everything’s above board.’
‘Right now,’ Jonah said heavily, ‘I’m more worried about me and you.’
Kat sat down opposite him. ‘What about me and you?’
‘The way I spoke to you yesterday. I’m so sorry, Kat. I never meant to hurt you.’
‘No, I don’t suppose you did,’ she admitted. ‘Even so, you managed it.’
‘I know. I don’t know what got into me. You were only trying to help.’ He gave her a sorrowful look. ‘I really am sorry. I missed you last night.’
‘I missed you, too. Why do you think I’m up so early?’ She smiled at him. ‘Pair of daft buggers, aren’t we?’
His face lit up and her heart skipped as she squeezed his hand. ‘Cup of tea coming right up.’
Ten minutes later they sat on the sofa together, making the most of this precious peace before the children woke up.
‘I’ve got something to tell you,’ Kat said. ‘About my search for a proper job.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘You’ve found one?’
‘Not exactly. I’m thinking about starting my own business,’ she admitted, feeling almost shy as she put her thoughts into words. It was a big leap after all. Was she capable of being her own boss? Or was she fooling herself?
‘Your own business? Well, that’s, er, impressive. What were you thinking of doing?’
‘Promise you won’t laugh?’
He tilted his head at her. ‘As if I would.’
‘Okay, well, it’s knitting.’
Now he really did look confused. ‘Knitting?’
‘Remember what you said about selling jumpers like Tommy’s? Well, that’s one idea. I also thought about baby clothes. When I made Hattie’s little bootees and matinee jackets and hats, I got loads of compliments. People said they rarely saw such traditional little baby clothes for sale these days, and wished they could get hold of them. Well, maybe I could knit those, too.’
He nodded. ‘I’m sure they’d sell. You mean online, like I suggested? Or were you thinking of a market stall?’
‘I’m not sure yet,’ she admitted. ‘But it’s more than that. I was thinking about designing my own patterns and selling those, too, so people could knit their own. Which led me to another idea. I’m considering giving knitting lessons. Things have changed. Kids used to be taught to knit by their mothers and grandmothers, but that seems to be dying out. I’m thinking I could be the one to teach them.’
‘Adults or kids?’ he asked.
‘Both. Adults to start with I think, but later… I’d have to get a criminal record check, I think, to work with kids, and I’d have to think of easy patterns and yarns for them to work with. And of course, there’s the matter of figuring out where to hold the classes.’
Briefly, she explained to him what Daisy had in mind for Pennyfeather’s.
‘I’m not sure that will happen now,’ she said sadly, ‘which is a shame. But maybe Barbara at Market Café will let me hold classes there? It’s not exactly thriving, is it? Or maybe I can rent a room at the Town Hall if it’s not too expensive?’
When he didn’t reply she said hesitantly, ‘Obviously, there’s a lot to work out, and it’s still in the planning stages, but… What do you think?’
‘I—I mean, I can see it would be good for you if it works out.’ He didn’t sound too sure, though. ‘If there’s the demand.’
‘It will take time to build up,’ Kat admitted. ‘I’m not saying I’ll suddenly make a fortune or anything. But at least I’ll be bringing some money in. Paying my way at last.’
‘Paying your way? But you’re already earning your keep here! You earn your wages and more. I couldn’t manage without you.’
‘Is that what’s worrying you?’ she asked. ‘Look, that’s the beauty of being self-employed. You should know. I can work around the kids. I’ll still be there to take Tommy to school and pick him up, I promise.’
‘It’s not that,’ he said slowly. ‘If needs be, I can go back to working fewer hours again. Tommy’s my responsibility after all. It’s just…’
‘Just what?’ she asked, puzzled. Then she sighed. ‘You think it’s a stupid idea, don’t you? You think it will never take off and I’m kidding myself.’
‘No! No, Kat, it’s not that at all. Honest. I just—’ He shrugged. ‘I know it sounds daft, but, well, everything feels so perfect at the moment. Why would you want to change it? I thought we had a good little set-up here, but it sounds like this is no longer enough for you. Aren’t you happy?’
‘Of course I’m happy,’ she said immediately, shocked at his insecurity. ‘How can you question that? But I don’t want to be dependent on you for everything, Jonah. We’re a partnership, and that means I need to contribute to this family myself, without relying on you for money. I can’t put all my eggs in one basket. I have to think of Hattie. Besides, I need something of my own. Something I can build and be proud of. You understand, don’t you?’
He kissed her forehead. ‘Yeah, I understand. Of course I do. I’ll help you any way I can, and I think it sounds like a great idea. Let’s hope Daisy’s brother comes through with the craft shop idea, eh? It would be the best place for your new empire to start.’
Relieved that he seemed to be reassured she sipped her tea, her mind wandering to all the possibilities that lay before her. She would keep everything crossed that the Jacksons wanted the shop, but if they didn’t maybe Miss Lavender could pull a few strings and help her get a room at the Town Hall? She’d have to look into running a market stall, too. Or maybe she should focus on online sales at first?
‘Kat,’ Jonah said uncertainly, ‘can I ask you something?’
‘Go on.’
‘The buggy…’ Jonah looked awkward, clearly nervous about proceeding with the question. ‘Birdie mentioned that you didn’t buy it. That it was an anonymous gift.’
Kat tensed. She’d known by his tone that this was a question she might not like. Even so, she’d known it was coming at some point, and after his confession yesterday she felt she owed him some honesty.
‘That’s right.’
‘So, did you ever find out who bought it?’
‘No. I didn’t.’
He nodded. ‘Ah, right.’
She eyed him for a few moments, seeing the struggle he was having not to ask her anything else. Finally, she took pity on him.
‘Why don’t you just ask the question?’
He looked startled. ‘I’m sorry?’
‘You want to know something else, don’t you? I can see it in your face. Why don’t you go ahead and ask?’
He took a deep breath. ‘Okay. Could it be from Hattie’s father?’
‘No.’
She saw the uncertainty in his eyes and sighed, then placed the mug on the coffee table. Pulling her knees up under her chin she put her arms around them and faced him, albeit reluctantly.
‘There’s no chance it could be from Hattie’s father, Jonah, because he has no idea where Hattie is, or that she even exists.’
‘You never told him?’ he said, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. She saw a fleeting glimpse of disapproval in his face and knew it was time to be honest.
‘Hattie doesn’t have a father. Not in that sense. If you really want to know, she was conceived by medical means. I went to a clinic, chose a donor, had the procedure done there. There’s no doting daddy waiting to burst out and demand to see her if that’s what you’re worried about. No ex-lover about to make a claim on her, or me. It’s just me and her, the way I wanted it.’
Jonah stared at her in clear shock. ‘I never even thought…’
‘No. Evidently not many did. Have you any idea how many bets were taken on who the father was by the Lavender Ladies? You were on the list, by the way,’ she added, giving him a wary smile.
