Blaze, page 16
I open my eyes to only come face to face with the blindfold. Closing my eyes again, I try to suppress my growing frustration, but a groan escapes.
Finn settles back between my legs. Coldness stings, sliding in and out of me. I can’t see it, but there’s no way he isn’t fucking me with an ice cube. I struggle, letting out gargled threats into the gag, but it’s only met by Finn’s arm laying across me to my chest.
An ice cube is also swirled around my nipple.
It’s too fucking cold. As my warm body temperature melts the ice, I feel the water droplets run down my ass.
Finally, a reward comes in the way of Finn’s tongue against my clit. He makes me forget how cold I was a moment before, warming my body from my clit outward. My breathing slows from the frantic panic mode of being victim to a sadist into the steady rhythm that I control, focusing on the pleasure to come.
With a moan, I encourage him to keep going, and it turns into a needy whine that I hope he’ll answer. But a sharp exhale from Finn has me holding my breath.
“Afraid, faolan? I’ve already given you an orgasm. Do you deserve another?”
“Mmhmm.” I try to sound convincing, begging even.
A chill crosses my body, and I shiver again. Cold isn’t something I enjoy feeling, and being taunted — kept away from an orgasm and cold — isn’t fair.
As he runs heated kisses and loving nibbles up my body, his warmth banishes the coolness from my flesh. He kisses my mating mark, biting it gently, teasing the skin and me.
The connection between us is a blaze of hot passion that I can’t ignore. All of my body is calling for his.
Resting above me, cock poised at my entrance, Finn whispers, “I’ve never felt you embrace the bond so much.”
He runs his nose along mine, then delicately grabs hold of my panties with his teeth and pulls them from my mouth. Using one of his thumbs, Finn slides the scarf over my head.
Blinking, I let my eyes adjust to the brightness of the room around us.
“There she is,” Finn whispers, and he’s not talking about laying eyes on me but on the little submissive wolf who’s pushed so far forward within me that my eyes are golden.
Finn’s wolf’s green eyes are right there as well.
Finally, he gives in to what we’ve both been craving.
With his cock sinking into me, my body fully relaxes, and he takes advantage of it. Long, slow thrusts threaten to never let me come, but then Finn raises up to his knees. Grasping my thighs, he pulls me up. He’s buried in me now, able to thrust deeper.
Each thrust presses against my deepest parts with varying speeds. The pace peaks and becomes steady.
Finn snarls.
It rattles deep within me, and I lift my head, giving him perfect access to my neck if he truly intended to sink his teeth into me again.
I welcome that pain, but it doesn’t come.
Instead, my orgasm builds fast, Finn’s thrusts dragging me closer. My vision blurs, and I close my eyes, reaching for him.
Finn’s hand leaves my hip where he’s been pulling me toward him to grab my wrist, moving me to sit in his lap. I lock my ankles around him and thread my arms around his neck.
His firm hands squeeze my ass as he guides me up and down his cock.
I’m gasping for air as another orgasm builds, rippling pleasure up my spine.
“Your next heat,” Finn growls in my ear, “fuck, faolan, I might just live in your cunt. Keep all my cum trapped inside you. When we’re done, you won’t need a test to know you’re carrying my pup.”
My pussy clenches at the idea, and it sends us both over the edge. Finn’s dick twitches inside me and has me grinding against his base, riding out the ecstasy of stars shooting behind my eyelids.
It’s not until I’m done panting that I realize my ears are ringing from the sound we must have made. A laugh comes out too easily, and Finn groans as my core tightens.
“You’re something else,” Finn murmurs.
“Yeah, but you like it.” I kiss the tip of his nose, trying to free myself from his grasp.
He shakes his head and wraps his arms around me. “I love you and everything about you.”
Showered, fed, and flopped down in bed, I roll my head to look at Finn rather than stare off into space at the ceiling. Ireland has been an escape. But as much as I want to run off and live under the radar here as long as I can, we have to go home.
“What does the world know?” I sigh, trying to prepare myself for the answers.
He doesn’t respond. Instead, his large hand presses between my legs and picks me up by my far hip, dragging me across the space into his arms. With his large bicep resting under my head, Finn hitches my hip over the top of his. We lie entwined on our sides, looking into each other’s eyes.
“They know everything, faolan,” he answers. “About us being together and who I am. They know you’re a submissive wolf, and you may be displeased about this, but I had Henri address the misunderstanding between the lifestyle we live and your wolf. It did manage to take your sexuality, and our dynamic, out of the news. I felt that was important.”
I nuzzle in closer to him, and Finn wraps his arms around me tightly.
“As for your research,” Finn continues, “I don’t understand half of it. However, Doctor Thorpe said the only information they got was your physiological response to the drugs. Henri is fending it off left and right, something about medical privacy violation. Cade’s legal team is filing some sort of paperwork to keep it from continuing.”
“I don’t care.” The words feel foreign. But it’s true. Thalia was right. I met the boy and fell in love, and my family feels so much more important than anything else.
“I care.” Finn squeezes me tightly, his fingers interlacing into my hair.
When my world was falling apart, he was there, trying to hold me together as we watched it shatter. And now, in the aftermath, he’s here helping me put the pieces back together.
He doesn’t try to convince me otherwise regarding my research, but Finn does speak, just one last time. “I care because it hurts you. And I’ll do anything to keep you from feeling pain, like this, ever again. We’ll get you back together and then get you home. Together, we’ll find a future.”
It feels like Finn has more to say. But I don’t want to press. Mostly because I don’t want to think of anything beyond lying here wrapped up in his arms. Long seconds turn to minutes, and the sound of Finn’s heartbeat lulls me to sleep.
Chapter 24
Lena
We’ve lived in a bubble for the last day and a half, and now that we’ve emerged, as expected, Finn takes over. It’s not smothering like I anticipated. My predictions of this feeling — owned by him — were equal parts underwhelming and misunderstood.
With my seat belt buckled and the door closed, Finn gives his ma one last hug before giving his da one last handshake. And a few minutes later, we’re down the drive and back on the well-traveled road back to the city.
“So, I had a brief chat with Magnus, and he needs a little more time to conduct business before we arrive. If you’re up to it” — Finn pauses, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel — “we could stop and visit the pack. I understand, of course, if you’d —”
“I’d love to.” I draw a breath. “I don’t know why you’re so nervous about it. I’ve already dealt with your exes.”
“Oh?” Finn asks, turning his head to look at me.
“Magnus said I’m the only other one who can get the group of hoors to dissipate like that.” I try to mock his gravelly tone, but I don’t do it justice.
Finn laughs and shakes his head. “Well, I suppose if anyone could handle them, it’d be you.”
A few miles down the road, I open my mouth to speak but close it again. The words don’t come out. After the last two days, with a tender pussy and raw throat, there’s not a lot I haven’t said. Finn was upset that I fled to Ireland — rightfully so. But his anger has passed and he understands why I came.
Just tell him, my wolf encourages. He’ll understand.
We’ve never said it before, I try to explain.
He’s already said it first, my wolf reminds me, pushing back the times he’s said it.
Sexy, angry, sleepy, and lovingly, Finn has told me he loves me, but I can’t get the words out. Why can’t I just fucking say it?
“It’s okay, faolan,” Finn encourages me. “Whatever you have to say. I’ll hear it.”
“I’m feeling different about us,” I try to explain. But those words don’t match what I’m trying to say. “I feel things I didn’t expect, and those feelings aren’t bad feelings.”
I’m floundering and awkward. It’s shameful how inarticulate I’ve become.
“I see.” Finn’s approval falls flat; it isn’t as reassuring as I would have expected.
He doesn’t understand. My wolf cocks her head, puzzled by the lack of response and reaching for answers I can’t give her. If you’d just tell him, he would understand.
Leaving the topic alone, I try to let the words marinate. I’ll figure out how to say it. He deserves to know. Even if it’s hard to say. I love you. I. Love. You.
My wolf dissipates back to the angry warmth in my belly.
I’m trying to listen to her. I really am. He’s the closest I’ve ever been to someone who isn’t a blood relative, so why can’t I say it?
Chapter 25
Finn
She’s going to tell me she’s ready. Just as Da suspected. As much as I want his words not to make sense, I’m praying the old man’s advice is outdated. As it stands, all his words feel right: Lena isn’t ready. She’s still locking me out. There are things she isn’t telling me. First, about what happened with the females of the pack, and now she tried to say something and failed.
Should I offer her ten seconds?
Our bond flickers on and off with her restless feral wolf, bringing discomfort. It won’t be long until Revecca can fix her wolf, but I’m going to lose this connection with her in the process. If I warn her that it’ll break the bond, there’s a chance Lena won’t go through with it. She’ll be hung up on the idea that it’s over and be pleased to be rid of me or anxious that I’ll truly leave.
My wolf dislikes the idea of breaking the bond. He snarls at each thought about it. I don’t want to lose her. The connection I have to her, as sporadic as it’s been, warms my heart each time it flickers on.
“Your ma is kind,” Lena says after a few more kilometers. “She loves you a lot.”
“She’s your traditional Irish ma.” I shrug, glad I got to say goodbye properly. “In my business, in everyone else’s business, means well, but damn judgmental.”
“I understand her though.” Lena laughs. “She’s needed to know, and with everything that goes on in your world, it feels out of her control.” Her voice grows more somber. “Sometimes the only way to feel involved is to be in control and in everyone’s business. It’s easy to get overlooked when you’re not making any waves at all.”
We’re down the road another block when Lena’s head follows a sight as it passes the car window. She shakes her head in disbelief. “I could have sworn I saw my cousin Ansel standing on the sidewalk, with a road map, talking to a guy.”
I run my hand down my face. “A fucking map?”
“Ansel Abbot, Harbinger, is here?” Lena laughs. She covers and then uncovers her mouth with her hand before speaking. “And you let him walk alone in Dublin?”
“Cade insisted I bring him. He’s a grown man. He can handle himself.” I focus back on the road and finally admit how I underestimated bringing the small Ardelean with me. “Honestly, I’ve never seen someone kill so easily.”
“Uff dah.” Lena shakes her head. “You have no idea how fast Ansel makes friends. I hope you don’t have dinner plans for us because, by now, he’s made them.”
I pull into a parking space off the side of one of the apartment buildings we own. We’re not even out of the car when heads start poking out of doors and peeking out blinds.
“So, where are we?” Lena asks, looking around.
“This is where most of the pack lives. When the boys are done with their shifts from the docks and warehouse, this is where they come.” I take in our surroundings. “I’ve some people I need to check in on, and to quote Magnus’s text message earlier, ‘Get this fuckin’ Ardelean you left out of my hair for a bit. Pack’s got a laundry list of shit to fix, and the little fuck is kinda handy,’ which, given what you’ve said about him, seems fitting.”
“Oh, you’ve no idea.” Lena waits for me.
I unbuckle her seat belt and, after stepping out of the vehicle, walk around to her side of the car.
“Finn?” a young woman’s voice calls, and Lena bristles.
“Steady, faolan. She’s far too young for me.” I pet her head, pulling her closer and placing a kiss on her hair.
“Eleven years between us,” Lena mutters.
I turn around to see one of the young widows behind me. It’s Siobahn’s little sister, Erin. Lena steps to my side to see her.
She has a pup wrapped up in her arms, probably eight or nine weeks old. The last one I’m responsible for being fatherless. Erin, one of the widows I couldn’t bring myself to face before I left, strides with grace toward us, a smile on her face.
“When Magnus said you were out, I didn’t think you’d ever be back,” she tells me, her eyes shifting to look at Lena. “And then we see pictures of the two of you together. I always knew you’d find her.”
“You’re barely twenty. You always knowing is hardly telling.” I laugh.
Lena leans against my side, and I shift my arm to hold her against me.
“What’s their name?” Lena asks, her eyes locked on the pup.
“Addie Grace.”
“Addie Grace, what a beautiful name,” Lena repeats with a softness in her voice.
“Do you want to hold her?” Erin offers the pup out to Lena.
“Oh.” Lena pauses, her internal battle obvious.
Rather than volunteer her, I let Lena make the decision, moving my arm off her shoulder.
Lena steps forward and takes the baby from Erin. My heart flutters seeing her holding a pup. I want this for us.
God, please don’t take this from her. I want her to have this. Knowing how hard she cried when she told me it might not happen for her, to now, seeing her holding a pup in her arms, it brings back the pain. I hold all my emotions back for fear it will soak through our bond.
Erin draws a deep breath, holding it in before deflating. “Oh, you’re a miracle worker. She doesn’t let anyone hold her. Is it mean to ask you to stay?”
“I think Magnus would be a little upset if I kept Finn here much longer,” Lena says, not taking her eyes off the pup.
The amount of love and longing Lena has pushed into our bond right now swells my heart, and I push my admiration toward her back, hoping she feels it.
“You’re doing well, Erin?” I ask, knowing she’ll tell me. “Magnus holding up the pack’s end?”
“Oh, more than. Magnus sees to it. We have everything we need and then some.” Erin draws a deep sigh. “But more than that O’Connel . . .”
I force down the growl.
O’Connel and Erin are in similar life stages as Lena and I. The difference in years has me raising an eyebrow, but the way she blushes, well, if he makes her happy, that’s the best thing in this situation. It’s not my place to disagree. Even if I’m not here to kick his ass for hurting her. If he hurts her . . .
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” I apologize, expecting that she holds some anger.
She shakes her head. “You can’t be everywhere all the time, Finn.”
“He sure likes to think so.” Lena is smiling at Addie Grace, but I know it’s meant for me.
“Do you know who Magnus was sending here to do some repairs this afternoon? He said someone from the States?” Erin asks. “I’ve a few things that need to be done, and O’Connel is . . .”
“Useless for anything that isn’t a vehicle?” I finish for her.
O’Connel’s a great quartermaster and good at managing the territory he’s been given, but beyond that, his skills are limited to engines, and it’s well known he shouldn’t be allowed around a hammer.
Erin bites her lips together, not confirming or denying. It draws a laugh from Lena.
Begrudgingly, Lena offers Addie Grace back to Erin, saying, “She’s beautiful. But let me get Ansel here so he can fix your home.”
Addie Grace, without fuss, goes back to Erin. They head back to the house while Lena waves goodbye.
The smallest whine comes from her, and it kills me.
Chapter 26
Lena
Holding Addie Grace was both the best and worst feeling in the world. She still had that new puppy smell. While holding her, all I could think about was how much I hate myself for this.
There’s no way I didn’t destroy my reproductive tract for the stupid dream of protecting pack members. But fuck, it would have been nice to have this, especially with Finn.
“Awww. He found our girl.” Ansel’s voice comes from behind me.
Turning to look for Ansel, I banish the thought of pups from my brain. The Utahan, who I didn’t expect to see and is coincidentally excellent at home repairs, comes strolling down the sidewalk as if he lives here and it’s just a normal day.
“Why did I bring him?” Finn groans.
I give him one last squeeze before letting go. “Because he’s a terrifying monster in the most unassuming package. Someone thought he might need an army to rescue me.”
“Oh, right. That.” Finn kisses my forehead before motioning for me to move out of the swing of the door. “Some army.”
Ansel approaches with a map tucked under his arm, and a gray T-shirt with a shamrock pokes out from under his red flannel shirt. Approaching where we’re standing on the sidewalk, he pulls the map out from under his arm and bops me on the top of the head with it.
