Suddenly Mine, page 27
She laughed softly. “I didn’t get roped in, Christian. It’s my job, it’s what I do—what I love to do! Don’t you know that I was happy I was there with you that day? Not that I was happy that you were sick, but that I was there to help you. And it was the same with your father.” She then stepped forward and touched his hand. “I wish I could have done more.”
In that moment, he thought they were going to be okay. She wasn’t moving away from him and she wasn’t telling him to get lost, so he figured they’d crossed their first hurdle.
“The thing is,” she said, interrupting his thoughts, “this is all too much for me to deal with right now. I mean, you know why I’m here in Kansas and I’m already a bit of a wreck over the whole thing, so…”
Man, he was really bad at reading situations.
“I understand how you feel,” he said quickly, scrambling for a way to keep talking to her. “But if you’re not able to forgive me or—or you don’t want to talk about giving me a second chance…”
“Do you want a second chance?” she asked cautiously.
“More than anything.”
“Wow,” she said with a sigh.
And he didn’t take that as a good sign.
Taking her hand in his again, he gave it a gentle squeeze. “So here’s the thing—I don’t want to add to the stress of this weekend, but let me be here for you. As a friend. You shouldn’t be here alone, and I want you to know that you don’t have to deal with this all on your own.”
The tears were back in her eyes. “Christian…”
“I promise I won’t pressure you for more than you’re willing to give,” he said, his tone soft. “At one time, we were friends, Sophie. Back in the beginning when we’d go surfing or jogging.”
“I hated the jogging,” she reminded him.
“And because you were being a good friend, you put up with it,” he teased, squeezing her hand again. “We don’t have to go jogging right now, just to get something to eat. I want to hear about how you’re doing and how you’re feeling about this visit.”
Her shoulders sagged a little and her voice was small. “I’m scared.”
Unable to help himself, he pulled her into his embrace. She didn’t fight him and he simply relished the feel of her in his arms. Kissing the top of her head, he said, “I know. But I’m here for you. Talk to me.” He rubbed his hand up and down her back and felt her relax against him.
“This doesn’t feel like a friendly hug,” she murmured.
But he wasn’t deterred. “Then I guess you’re hugging the wrong people.” When she whispered his name in protest, he pulled back a little. “Come on, love. Let’s go grab something to eat and talk, okay?”
“I don’t know…”
He moved away and did his best to reassure her of his motives. “Look, I get why you’re wary, but I’m here and I’m not leaving. I reserved a room here and I’m staying until Tuesday.”
“But…I’m staying until Tuesday,” she said, confused.
With a small grin, he said, “I know.”
“What about work?” she asked. “How come you’re suddenly able to be away? Is it because it’s just a long weekend?”
He shrugged. “For now.”
“For now?” she repeated. “What does that mean?”
“It means come to dinner with me and I’ll tell you all about it.”
The look on her face told him she was considering it—and trying to think of a way out at the same time. Yeah, her face was that expressive, and he’d spent a lot of time studying it.
“I passed a diner about a mile up the road and you know they probably make some great burgers and milkshakes,” he taunted, knowing the nurse side of her would freak out that he was looking to eat junk food. Then he shrugged. “I guess I could always go alone and find out. Oh, and I bet they serve those giant onion rings too!”
“Christian Montgomery, don’t you dare go eat a meal like that! Do you have any idea how high the fat content in that would be? After all your hard work to try and eat healthier, you’d undo it all in one meal!” she cried.
With a satisfied smile, he leaned in close to her. “Then I guess you need to come to dinner with me and make sure I behave.”
With a grimace, she said, “I fell right into that one, didn’t I?”
Firmly clasping her hand in his, he led her over to his car. “You certainly did.” He winked. “And I couldn’t be happier.”
* * *
It was after nine and they were standing in the lobby while Christian checked in. Sophie waited, her mind utterly confused.
He was here.
He was beyond charming.
And it felt like the most natural thing in the world to be with him.
So why was she letting him get a room of his own?
When she had stepped out of the hotel earlier and seen him standing there, she’d thought she was imagining him—especially after thinking about how much she’d wished he was there with her the night before. They had a great dinner together where they talked and laughed, and there wasn’t one romantic thing about it—it was like he promised. Two friends going out to eat.
Dammit.
“I’m on the fifth floor,” he said as he walked over. “What about you?”
“Oh…um, fifth,” she said, still trying to wrap her brain around the fact that he was here and not coming to her room with her.
It felt weird and all kinds of wrong.
Christian turned and started toward the elevators and Sophie followed, listening to him talk about how exhausting traveling was—even when it was a short distance—and how much he hoped the room was quiet because he never slept well when he was away from home…all kinds of trivial stuff that friends and acquaintances might talk about.
They got into the elevator and she seriously considered pushing him against the wall and kissing him senseless. She could do that, right? There was nothing wrong with the woman being the one to make the first move. Over the course of their relationship, she’d done that on more than one occasion. So why couldn’t she?
Ding!
The doors swooshed open and in the blink of an eye, Christian stepped out and was looking from side to side to get his bearings.
She’d missed her chance.
Following behind him, she asked, “What room are you in?”
“Five ten,” he said and began walking in that direction. “And where are you?”
“Five fifteen.” Okay, so at least they were both going in the same direction and it wouldn’t be awkward for her to have to turn and walk away.
At the door to his room, he slid the keycard in and opened the door, placing his suitcase in the doorway to hold it open. He gave her a small smile. “What time are you heading out in the morning?”
Heading out? Wait…what?
Then she remembered.
“Oh, uh… I was thinking around ten. I was going to have breakfast first. It’s only a fifteen-minute drive, but there’s a lot of security to get through and…I don’t know…that’s when I thought I’d go.”
“How about I meet you downstairs at nine?”
“Um, sure. Yeah. That’s great. And then I’ll go and I can text you when I’m on my way back.”
His brow furrowed as he looked at her. “Sophie, I thought you understood—I want to go with you.” He reached for her hand. “I didn’t want you to have to go alone.” Before she had a chance to respond, he gently tugged on her hand and led her into his room.
It was a king suite like hers and she wondered if he was actually cringing at the thought of staying there. This was a small town and they didn’t have any five-star luxury hotels—she highly doubted Christian had ever stayed in a place like this.
“I bet you’re sorry you came here, huh?” she couldn’t help but ask.
He turned and looked at her oddly. “Why would you say that?”
“Christian, look at this place.” She motioned at the room. “When was the last time you stayed in a hotel like this? I mean, there’s no way you could have ever.”
Releasing her hand, he gave her a light tap on the tip of her nose. “I think you believe I’m a snob.” Then he laughed softly. “I’ll admit, it’s been a while, but there’s nothing wrong with the hotel. It’s clean, the room is big, and as long as I have a blanket and a pillow, I’ll be fine.” Then he stepped farther into the room and stretched. “I’ve been sleeping at my desk for far too long—especially lately—so this will be downright decadent for me.”
At dinner, she’d noticed how tired he looked, but now after hearing him talk about how he’d been sleeping, she could tell.
“Then you should get some sleep,” she said quietly. “And as for tomorrow, I appreciate that you want to go with me, but the truth is you can’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean there was a ton of paperwork I had to fill out to get this visit approved and there’s no way for you to secure that on such short notice. So it’s really a moot point.”
“Then I’ll drive you there. I’ll wait in the car and be there so you don’t have to do anything except…I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here,” he said with a nervous laugh.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to go to the…well, you know. It’s bad enough that it’s where I have to go. You shouldn’t feel obligated to go there too. It means a lot to me that you’re here for me to talk to. I was feeling very alone, and the fact that you flew here so I didn’t have to be…”
He was right in front of her before she knew it, her face gently cupped in his hands. “Obligation has nothing to do with any of this, love. Don’t you know that? I’m here for you because I want to be. You mean everything to me, Sophie. I know we still have a lot of issues to work through, but if you’ll give me a chance…”
Everything in her was telling her to scream “Yes!” But her emotions were all over the place right now and she could only deal with one thing at a time.
“I need some time, Christian,” she said honestly. “I’ve had to deal with so much in the past year and so much of that was based in anger. What happened between us broke my heart.” She took a moment to compose herself, otherwise she’d break down in tears. “I—I’ll see you in the morning.”
She saw the disappointment and sadness on his face, and she was feeling those same things herself. But staying with him tonight wasn’t going to do anything but blur lines and confuse her. She didn’t want to be seduced with just their bodies.
Although that would be a fantastic distraction right now, it wasn’t the right thing to do.
“I’ll see you at breakfast” was all she said before walking out of the room.
* * *
Sleep eluded her all night. She’d tossed and turned, but no matter how hard she tried, her mind wouldn’t shut down.
And none of it had to do with Christian, but about meeting her father.
She’d risen and was showered and dressed by six thirty and was contemplating going down to breakfast and leaving before Christian got her. Then she realized how rude that would be and did her best to try to distract herself.
Sitting on the small sofa, she pulled out the tote bag she had packed to bring with her to the prison. In it were some small photo albums she had put together to show to her father—snippets of her life so he could essentially get to know her in this one brief visit. The thing was, she had no idea why that was so important. What difference was his knowing anything about her going to make? For him or for her? Their time was limited and she couldn’t imagine wanting to come back here.
Pulling out one of the albums, she slowly flipped through the pages and smiled. There were pictures from each of her birthdays, her first day of school, all of the usual milestones in a child’s life.
He’d missed all of that.
Her hands trembled as she slowly closed the book and slid it back into the bag.
Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe Nana was right and she should let this be. If she was this emotional and fragile just from looking at some pictures, how was she going to be able to be in a room with this man who was a stranger to her? Would she be able to look at him and see him as her father, or would she only see a murderer?
A soft knock on her door startled her.
Taking a steadying breath, she walked over and looked through the peephole to see Christian.
She opened the door and looked at him quizzically.
“I had a feeling you’d be up already,” he said sheepishly. “I thought I’d come and see how you were doing and if you maybe wanted to get an earlier start.”
She smiled gratefully and motioned for him to come in. He spotted the bag sitting on the coffee table and looked over at her. “What’s this?”
“I…I brought some photo albums with me. I don’t know why. I guess it seemed like the thing to do. It’s not like he has any clue about my life or anything, so I thought having some visuals would help.” She knew she was stammering and then waited for him to tell her it was a crazy idea.
Instead, he sat on the sofa and looked at her expectantly. “May I?”
“Um…sure.” She sat quietly beside him while he pulled the first book out of the bag. It held baby pictures—pictures that were taken when her parents were alive. For the life of her, she had no idea why she had brought that one with her. Thinking about it now, she’d probably leave it behind. No need to point out the obvious.
“Look at how adorable you were,” he said with a grin, turning pages.
“All babies are adorable,” she countered.
But Christian shook his head. “I don’t think so. But you were—with your bright eyes, and always smiling.” Then he turned his gaze up to her. “Beautiful then, and beautiful now.”
Sophie could feel herself blush but didn’t say anything as she watched him continue going through the book. When he was done, he pulled out the next one. That was the one she had been looking at before he showed up.
“There are a lot of awkward years in this one that will have you reconsidering how adorable I was,” she teased. But as Christian turned the pages, he found something incredibly sweet to say about each and every picture, and that had her heart skipping a beat. When he stopped on a picture of her at thirteen wearing braces and a cast on her arm, she looked at him blandly. “You cannot possibly find something nice to say about this one. I was chubby as well as being a klutz.”
He studied the picture for several long moments and shrugged. “I still only see you—same amazing smile, same spunky personality.” Then he chuckled. “And I love the hot-pink cast. Totally you.”
It was hopeless.
He was hopeless.
Either way, she relaxed and talked with him until he had gone through all of the pictures. When he slid the final one into the bag, he said, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“I learned more about you in the past hour than I did in the past several months. I like that.”
Playfully, she nudged him with her shoulder. “I don’t think you learned that much. They were just some pictures.”
But he wasn’t smiling. His face was one of thoughtful consideration. “Every picture told a story—one that you shared with me. And for that, I’m thankful.”
Letting out a long, low breath, she tried to calm her heart rate. Christian Montgomery had a way of making her feel things she’d never felt before and it was clear that he still could. At any other time, she’d enjoy it. But right now, she had something that had to be dealt with before she could move on.
Standing up, she looked at him. “How about that breakfast?”
Chapter 12
Christian watched as Sophie walked into the massive penitentiary and he had never felt so helpless in his entire life. That morning, she had kept up a brave front—all through the time in her room and then through breakfast—but as soon as they had gotten into his car, she had gone quiet.
He couldn’t imagine what was going on in her head—how confused and conflicted she must be feeling. There wasn’t anything he could do or say to help her through it, so instead, he made small talk about the weather, a funny story on the news about a pregnant giraffe, and his thoughts on the hotel. The whole time he talked, she would occasionally smile, but for the most part she was quiet.
The drive was short and he almost wished it had been longer so she could have more time to prepare herself. When they got through the gate and parked, he’d looked at her and said, “It’s not too late to change your mind. If you want to leave, just say the word and we’ll go.” And for a solid minute, he waited, thinking she was going to ask him to take her back to the hotel. But she’d surprised him and reached for the door handle. He’d stopped her with a hand on her arm and said, “I’ll be right here waiting for you. It doesn’t matter if you stay ten minutes or ten hours. I’ll be here.”
Swallowing hard, he stared at the building. Since the moment he’d met her, Christian had known that Sophie was quite possibly the bravest person he’d ever met. She wasn’t afraid of a challenge, and even though he knew he had accused her of running, the truth was she hadn’t. She’d merely taken the opportunity to remove herself from an atmosphere that wasn’t good for her.
She was brave and smart and kind, and if he were in her shoes, he didn’t think he’d be able to do this—to go into a massively imposing prison to meet the person who had essentially ruined her life.
All his life Christian had looked at his situation with his father as being so horrible and so complicated, but it was nothing compared to what Sophie had to deal with. Where he had been afraid to confront his father even while in the comfort of their family home, Sophie had gone to Kansas to confront her father behind bars.
