Danny Doormat, page 24
“It makes you unhappy, though, and I hate to see that. That’s the only reason I brought it up. But we don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to.”
If they’d been in the kitchen, or downstairs on the couch, Danny might have been able to crack a joke and lighten things up a bit. But they were in bed together, naked, where Danny had been hoping to get Asa for way too long. Part of the reason he’d fallen so hard for Asa over the years, despite his continued crush on Sean, was because of who Asa was—intense, contemplative, deep. Not loud or over-the-top with his emotions. He didn’t shout “I love yous” at every opportunity, but he was sincere and quietly there whenever anyone needed him. And right now, he was there for Danny, Danny and no one else. He wanted this with Asa so badly. He wanted Asa to know everything about him and to fall in love with him anyway. And if he let the fear of that never happening win, he’d never know for sure.
He cleared his throat, took a breath, and leaped.
“It’s okay. I should talk about it, especially with you. I’d stopped with my family because they never listened, but I shouldn’t lump everyone else in with them. It’s a bad habit.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Besides,” he said, chuckling nervously, “if I put it off too long, you’re going to think it’s some huge secret, and the reality is gonna be a real letdown.”
Asa smiled. “I doubt that.”
“No, seriously,” Danny argued. “This isn’t some big trauma story. It’s kind of boring. It wasn’t any one thing. I just woke up one day and wondered what the hell I was doing slogging to class every day, racking up a huge debt in student loans, for a degree I didn’t want.” He rolled to his back and stared up at the ceiling again because staring at Asa was too distracting. “I went to college because they expected me to. It was never an ‘if I go’ situation, but a given in our house, so I went. I took business classes because that’s what Derek the Golden Child had majored in. I worked my butt off for decent grades. I had a part-time job for a little extra cash. I was doing what everyone expected me to… and I was miserable, pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I don’t know, maybe I felt a little guilty too, after ruining my mom’s hopes of a daughter-in-law slash two point five grandkids to brag about for a second time when I came out. I mean, of course, Derek’s bi, so Mom still holds out some hope for her favorite to come through for her, but I couldn’t even give her that, so I toed the line elsewhere… until I couldn’t do it anymore.”
Asa rested his palm in the center of Danny’s chest and rubbed in comforting circles as he said, “It’s been what, almost four years? They’re still mad at you for that, for choosing to go your own way?”
“They’re not mad… exactly. I mean, they were when I left school, don’t get me wrong. There was lots of yelling and threats if I didn’t go back. Now, it’s… it’s hard to explain. I feel guilty every time I talk to any of them. I’m working. I’m paying all my bills. They had to cosign for the student loans, so I always pay that bill on time, no matter what, so it won’t hurt their credit. I don’t mooch off of any of them. I’ve got my own place… well, I had my own place.”
When he paused with a grimace, Asa made a sympathetic noise in the back of his throat and cupped his cheek. Danny laid his palm over Asa’s and smiled his gratitude. “I know they worry about me, and that only adds to the guilt, so I avoid talking to them… which makes the guilt worse. I’m tired of feeling bad for not living my life the way they think I should. They still treat me like a flighty kid who just hasn’t figured out what the real world is like yet. Even fucking Trevor said something like that when he was raving at me. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I am the delusional one.”
“You’re not delusional,” Asa said firmly. “The college-degree/office-job life isn’t for everyone. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for being who you are, especially if you’re not hurting anyone or taking from anyone else to do it. If what you’re doing right now is what you want, then why the hell not?”
Danny smiled as his heart melted a little more. “You’re really good at this listening and encouraging stuff.”
Asa snorted. “I have good days and bad days. But it’s not hard to encourage you. You deserve it. You’re a good person, Danny. You’re generous, loyal, hardworking. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re sexy. Minion adores you, and you can’t get a better recommendation than that.”
Danny flushed and squirmed again. “I guess it would be easier to convince them I’m capable of making my own life decisions if I didn’t screw up quite so much,” he replied, deflecting.
Asa just shook his head and kissed him softly on the lips. “Take the compliment for once, okay?” he murmured as he drew back. “I like you… a lot, which I’d hoped was pretty obvious by now.”
Asa flexed his hips as he said it, nudging his partial erection against Danny’s thigh, and Danny’s entire body tingled in response. Nothing had felt right in his life in so long, what he experienced now was like a revelation. He didn’t want anything as much as he wanted this. He could happily mop floors and clean toilets—never mind bearing the brunt of his parents’ disapproval for the rest of his life—as long as he had Asa to come home to after.
He rolled and hooked his thigh over Asa’s, pressing their cocks together. “I’m beginning to get an inkling,” he replied breathily before capturing Asa’s lips.
Kissing led to touching, which then led to some groping and grinding. Despite Asa’s worried looks, Danny was the first to slide down the bed this time. He’d dreamed about having Asa’s cock in his mouth far too many times to let a little thing like a broken arm and some bruised ribs keep him from it a second longer. He had no delusions of being a cock-sucking god, but he’d never had any complaints either. Bracing his broken arm on the mattress so he could use his good hand to best advantage was a little uncomfortable, but he soon forgot all about it as he got his first taste of Asa’s crown, took him as deep as he could, and wrapped his fist around the base.
He sucked and swirled his tongue along the shaft and Asa moaned. Asa trailed slender fingers along Danny’s scalp, and Danny hummed and groaned around Asa’s cock. Remembering how much Asa had teased him before sucking him to completion earlier, Danny drew back and tried to give as good as he’d received. No need to rush. He’d happily spend all day worshipping Asa’s cock if that’s what he wanted.
Danny was still reveling in the velvety feel of Asa’s skin on his lips and tongue when Asa began to thrust lightly and tightened his fingers in Danny’s hair. Taking that as his cue, Danny sank down as far as he could go again. He bobbed, sucked, and pumped his fist in earnest, with Asa’s pants and breathy moans egging him on. When Asa tugged on his hair, this time in clear warning, Danny ignored him. Asa’s thighs trembled on either side of Danny and his noises became more urgent, but Danny only sank deeper and swallowed around Asa’s crown. Asa curled over him as he let out a long, low moan and came in Danny’s mouth, while Danny held on, sucking through his orgasm until Asa flopped back down to the mattress. Then he pulled off and rested his cheek on Asa’s thigh, smiling contentedly.
“You’re a pretty awesome guy yourself,” Asa gasped, and when Danny met his grinning face, Asa made grabby hands at him until Danny climbed into his embrace.
Asa pulled him into a kiss before releasing him so they could catch their breaths. Danny had come close to his own release just from sucking Asa off. His dick was so hard it ached, so when Asa wrapped a warm fist around it, Danny groaned and bucked his hips.
“I’m really close,” he panted.
“Yeah?”
Asa had that cocky grin again, and Danny’s hips jerked almost involuntarily.
“Keep looking at me like that and it won’t take much,” he gasped.
“Can’t hold out until I get my mouth on you?” Asa asked huskily.
Danny whimpered. “Better hurry.”
Asa flashed him another grin before diving down the bed. The move was so unexpected and playful, Danny let out a startled laugh that turned into a gasp as Asa’s hot mouth took over for his hand. Danny hadn’t been exaggerating, though. He didn’t last long with Asa’s tongue working him over. Asa barely got a hand down to cup and fondle his balls before Danny’s orgasm rocketed through him. He gasped and arched his hips, and Asa opened his throat and took him deep as he came. When Danny did a little collapsing onto the mattress of his own, Asa released his cock and moved to lie beside him again.
After their emotional talk earlier and coming twice, Danny’s eyes grew very heavy very quickly. Asa kissed him a couple of times before pulling the sheet over both of them and snuggling in. They smiled goofily at each other for a few seconds before Danny surrendered to fatigue and drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Nineteen
OVER THE next few days, they fell into a blissful domestic routine. Asa had been forced to use every means of persuasion in his arsenal to convince Danny to take the rest of the week off to heal, but eventually Danny had relented. He’d called his bosses, and they’d been as understanding as Asa had assured him they would be.
Asa went back to work on Wednesday, but other than that, they spent all their time together. Even at the office, Asa’s thoughts drifted back home to Danny more often than they should. His team didn’t call him on it, though. He got a couple of sly smiles from some of them when his attention wandered in meetings, but he had a feeling they were just happy he wasn’t moping anymore. Pretty pleased about that himself, he felt more alive than he had in years, a bit like his old self. Coming home was a joy, not a trial.
As he pulled into the garage on Friday night, he smiled, anticipating the scene that would greet him once he stepped inside, namely Danny in the kitchen, cooking them dinner. It had only taken a couple of nights for Asa to get completely spoiled. He’d cheerfully admit that.
They’d had a few more deep conversations since their initial sharefest in bed, and Asa wanted to throttle each and every person in Danny’s life who’d made him doubt himself, but the one thing they hadn’t discussed yet was the future. Danny had a whole pile of worries he still didn’t talk about—worries Asa would willingly help him with, if he could figure out how to broach the subject in a way that Danny would accept. Anytime Asa had poked a little around the edges and thrown out hints, Danny had distracted him. The distractions were more than pleasant and increasing in creativity, but Asa could tell the stress ate away at Danny when it didn’t have to.
“Honey, I’m home,” Asa called as he patted Minion’s head and shoved his way past him toward the kitchen.
The scents of spices, peppers, and coconut filled his nostrils, and his mouth watered as he set his bag and keys on the counter.
“Hey, there.”
Danny smiled widely as he met Asa halfway to share a kiss hello before moving back to the stove.
“Is that Thai green curry?” Asa asked in a whimper.
“It is. I watched a video on making it the other day.”
Asa moaned. “I think I’m in love.”
He’d said it lightly, without thinking, but Danny froze with his wooden spoon in the air and stared. After only a beat, Danny cleared his throat and chuckled. “You haven’t tasted it yet.”
He turned back to the stove to stir the sauce, and Asa winced.
Smooth, Asa, real smooth.
It was probably a bit early for declarations. They’d only been together romantically for less than a week… but they’d known each other for years. Asa had already stepped in it, so to speak, and the thought of saying the words again didn’t feel wrong.
With his heart beating a bit erratically, he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Danny’s waist from behind, careful of his injured side. He pressed a kiss to Danny’s neck, rested his chin on his shoulder, and said, “I think whatever is in that pan could taste terrible and I wouldn’t retract my statement.”
Danny drew in a shaky breath and turned in Asa’s arms. His beautiful brown eyes were intense as he searched Asa’s face. “Are you serious?”
Asa smiled before kissing him softly on the lips. “I’ve fallen hard. It’s fast. I know. But not really, when you think about it. I’ve known you a long time, and maybe… maybe I’ve had a little crush on you too, over the years. I just never explored it because I was with Sean. Being with you feels so good, Danny. It feels right. I’m happy, and I haven’t been that in a long time. I hope you are too.”
Danny worried his lower lip. “I am.”
He’d said it a little breathlessly and without the certainty Asa had been hoping for. “But?” Asa asked as some of his happiness dimmed.
Danny shook his head. “There’s no but. I… I don’t know, I keep thinking any second now you’re going to change your mind about us.”
“Why?”
Danny snorted. “Are you kidding? I’m buried in debt. I don’t have a degree or a career. I barely have jobs, and I have no fucking clue who I want to be when I grow up. I mean, you were married to Sean for chrissakes. He was big, beautiful, successful, larger than life. Everyone loved him. I couldn’t be more different from that if I tried. Why on earth would you fall in love with me?”
Asa cupped Danny’s cheeks in his palms and gazed deeply into his eyes. “I told you the other night, but I’ll keep on telling you as long as you need me to. You’re beautiful. You’re kind, smart, funny, and generous. You’d do anything for the people you care about without expecting anything in return. And I know you don’t think so, but you’re talented too. You could do whatever you wanted to. I truly believe that. And it doesn’t matter to me in the slightest that you haven’t figured out what that is yet. You know who you are, even if you don’t know what you want as a career, or if you want a career at all. The first time I met you, I was impressed by how grounded you were in who you are. That hasn’t changed in all the years I’ve known you. You never pretended to be anyone but you, even if you’re hard on that guy a little too often.”
Danny snorted. “Seriously? I pretended to be someone else for years, the entire time I was at college, in fact.”
“You did what other people wanted you to do. You tried to make the people you cared about happy. That’s not the same thing. You were still you inside, which is what’s important to me. You’re an incredible person, Daniel Dorfmann, and I’m falling in love with you. Believe it.”
He held Danny’s gaze until Danny’s eyes got a little misty. “God, I love you so much,” he said, and Asa’s heart leaped as Danny threw his arms him.
He gingerly returned Danny’s embrace as they shared a long, tender kiss. At some point, Minion leaned into them, and Asa smiled before drawing away. He rested his forehead against Danny’s as he reached down to give Min’s head a pat.
They stood like that for several seconds until the bubbling on the stove caught his attention. “I don’t want to ruin the moment, but it would be a real shame if the curry got burned.”
Danny laughed and wiped at his eyes before turning back to the stove to stir the sauce. “Set the table. It’ll be ready soon.”
The grin never left his face as he put the plates and silverware out. He hadn’t smiled this much in a long time, and his cheeks were still getting used to the stretch.
It could be like this all the time, if he could just convince Danny to let it happen. Danny seemed fine as long as they didn’t try to talk about the future, as long as this was some kind of vacation and his problems remained outside of it. But Asa didn’t want an expiration date on what they had. He wanted everything, the good and the bad. They needed to talk about things soon. For one, game day was Sunday and they had to decide what to tell the guys, if they were going to tell them anything. Asa had only shared a couple of short, noncommittal texts with Lane and Walker so far that week, but they were his friends and he couldn’t avoid them forever.
Danny smiled shyly at him as he sat down and served himself some rice and curry chicken, and Asa decided to put off bringing anything up during the meal. They’d already had a bit of an intense moment in the kitchen and he wanted to enjoy the feeling a little longer. But when they had settled in the basement with some old Futurama reruns on the TV, he couldn’t put it off anymore. He took a long pull from his beer bottle for a little liquid courage and cleared his throat. “Danny?”
“Hmm?”
“I want to talk to you about a couple of things, and I want you to hear me out before you turn me down, okay?”
He had Danny’s full attention now as Danny studied him warily. “Okay.”
His answer sounded more like a question, which wasn’t heartening, but Asa hadn’t really expected more.
“First off, we should decide if we’re going to have game day here this Sunday. I need to let them know, if I’m canceling.” Asa paused when Danny worried his lower lip, but then he plowed on. “And if we have game day, we need to talk about what to tell them about us. I’m perfectly fine with telling them everything.” He took Danny’s hand and squeezed. “I’m happy, and I want to share that with my friends. I know it might be a little weird for them at first, but I’d like to think they’ll come around.”
When Danny only grimaced and the silence stretched, Asa said, “If you want to wait, I’ll understand. But they’re going to find out eventually, unless we avoid them completely.”
Danny shook his head. “I don’t want that. You shouldn’t have to cancel your game day two weeks in a row either. It’s your house.”
“I was thinking of it more from a ‘sharing our good news with our friends’ kind of angle, but that brings up the other topic I wanted to discuss with you, which is your maybe staying here on a more permanent basis.”
