Danny Doormat, page 12
The weight of Trevor’s hopeful gaze was drilling a hole in the back of Danny’s head and he rolled his shoulders. “Thanks for checking up on me,” Danny continued sincerely. “And I’m really happy you’re feeling better too. Maybe we can try it again sometime.”
“Uh, okay,” Asa replied hesitantly. The abrupt change of topic obviously confused him, but he rolled with it. “I’m glad to hear you aren’t too hurt, also,” Asa continued. “I look forward to seeing you and your friend, if you want to bring him, on Sunday… and I meant what I said about you keeping the Jeep until you’re all better, okay?”
Danny rallied enough to smile. “We said we’d discuss it.”
Asa chuckled. “Get some rest, Danny. I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Still smiling, he set the phone on his nightstand.
“How are you feeling?” Trevor asked. “Do you need me to get you more ice or some water or something? I could order a pizza or some Chinese, if you’re hungry.”
It was really hard to stay justifiably angry when someone was continuously offering to help you.
“I’m okay, Trev, really,” Danny replied tiredly. “You’ve probably got work tomorrow and I do too, so I won’t keep you up. I had a big lunch. I’ll probably hang out in here for a bit with my foot up and go back to sleep soon. My knee isn’t as bad as it looks. It’s only a little swollen. I can get around. Thanks, though. This was really nice of you.”
Trevor let the silence stretch into awkward territory before he said, “Okay. No problem. What did he say about Sunday?”
Shit.
He did not like feeling petty, but he knew what Trevor could be like, and he could imagine what Lane would make of Trevor. The judgment, teasing, and innuendo would be legion. As a general rule, Danny had learned to pick his battles with Trevor, but he was pretty sure this was a hill he was willing to die on. It might mean more hurt feelings and tantrums, but he couldn’t do it.
Never the twain shall meet.
Before he could argue himself out of it—since the “it’s only one day. How bad could it be?” thoughts were already forming in his head—he ignored the sour bubbles of tension in his stomach and said, “Sorry, Trev. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t like imposing on him like that. And I’d really like it if you didn’t answer my phone from now on too, please.”
Trevor’s face hardened instantly, making Danny’s stomach twist even more.
“Fine. Whatever,” he huffed. “Keep your little sugar daddy. I don’t care about football anyway… and neither do you, I might add.” He stepped out of the room but poked his head back in a second later. “You know, he’s going to figure that out sooner or later. You can’t keep whatever line of bullshit you’re feeding him going forever. Just… just don’t come running back here crying to me when he does. I’ve got my own shit to deal with. I don’t even know why I bother trying to help you with that bottomless pit of yours.”
Danny winced as Trevor stomped off down the hall to his own room and slammed the door. He hurried to his door and closed and locked it. He must have been really out of it earlier to leave his phone in the bathroom and his door unlocked.
After blowing out a long breath, he sat back down on his mattress and hung his head.
That went well.
Confrontation always drained him. It’s why he avoided it like the plague. His head would be ringing for days with all the ways he could have handled that better, all the things he might have said, no matter how useless an exercise that was. But still, keeping Asa away from all Trev’s bullshit would be worth it.
He glanced at the phone in his palm, tempted to call Asa back just to hear his voice, but decided against it. Trevor was right about one thing. If Asa ever figured out the truth, in this case, learned exactly how Danny felt about him, that would be the end, and Danny would be back here crying in his Cheerios. He’d never go crying to Trevor, but there would be ugly crying happening—shit tons of it.
Asa wouldn’t be mean about it. Asa would never be mean about anything. But things would be awkward between them. The precious, easy friendship they’d started would be gone, and Asa’s pity and regret would almost be worse. The thought of it made him want to puke. At least he didn’t have to worry about leaving his room to find something to eat now.
He plugged his phone in to charge and stretched out on his bed again. Dragging his laptop from under the bed, he propped it on his chest and searched YouTube for something to distract himself. He must have fallen asleep eventually, but based on how he felt when his alarm went off the next morning, it wasn’t a particularly restful slumber.
Chapter Ten
SUNDAY MORNING, Asa woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He wasn’t sure what was going on with him, but everything just felt off. He supposed he could blame it on the time of year. He had an anniversary of sorts coming up that week, and those were always the hardest, but his wedding anniversary hadn’t actually been too bad this year. He’d cried a little, and drank a little, but he’d mostly spent the time watching old home videos and remembering the good times with more nostalgia than the crushing grief of the year before. Maybe today’s crappy mood wasn’t about the anniversary at all. He wasn’t exactly depressed, more cranky and disgruntled.
Perfect time to host a party.
“Come on, Min. If Danny’s bringing a friend, he’s probably not going to have time to walk you. I could use some exercise anyway. We’ll get out before things get too hot.”
His shoulder and ankle were still a little sore and had turned some not-so-pretty colors, but neither was too bad. He’d bought an ankle wrap from the drugstore on Thursday that he could wear inside his sneakers, and he didn’t intend to walk far.
They strolled down to the Rose Test Garden through a quickly dissipating morning mist that hinted at the fall to come, and Asa rested at the top, gazing down on all the neatly planted rows. There was no way he was going to do all those stairs. The sights and scents were equally inspiring from the top, now that the sun had burned most of the mist away. Plus, the place was already crawling with tourists.
Minion garnered his usual share of attention as they went. People always had a strong reaction to him. They either came running to fawn all over him or crossed the street to get away, and Asa had rarely ever been able to predict which reaction he’d get by the way someone looked.
The walk was nice, and the fresh air was good, but it wasn’t quite what he needed. There were too many people around, and by the time he got home, his ankle was twinging and he wasn’t feeling any more relaxed than when he’d started out.
After a shower, some ibuprofen, and a couple of cups of coffee, he felt a little better. The guys would be there in a little while, and that would definitely help distract him from whatever funk had descended. He also had to admit to a certain amount of curiosity about Danny’s plus-one. Funny that Danny had never mentioned having a roommate, but he supposed it made sense. Apartments weren’t cheap in the city.
Guilt poked him yet again as it was driven home how little he really knew about Danny’s life. Spending more time around other people ironically made him more introspective, not less, and he wasn’t liking some of the traps he’d let himself fall into over the last two years.
Immediately after Sean’s sudden death, he’d been drowning in grief to the point where there wasn’t any room to worry about anyone else. People understood and even encouraged that. Every interaction or encounter with his coworkers, friends, and family had been all about Asa and how he was doing, how he was coping. That had been a little too easy to get used to. But the world went on, and he couldn’t be that needy forever. He wasn’t that guy. No relationship could survive one person always being the taker and not the giver.
Danny was a sweetheart, a giver through and through, and it would be far too easy to fall into that pattern with him. But Asa had been a giver too, once upon a time. He might not be the same person he’d been before Sean died, but that didn’t mean he had to give up on the parts of himself that he’d liked.
In other words, Asa Behar, you need to get your head out of your ass.
The thought came to him in Sean’s voice, and he smiled as he stepped out onto the back deck and rested his arms on the railing. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t feeling quite like himself. He needed to spend some time figuring out who that was now.
BY THE time Lane arrived, Asa had managed to shake some of his strange mood, but not all.
“Asa? Knock, knock.”
“In the kitchen!”
Lane strolled into the kitchen and set his pizza boxes on the counter. His dirty blond hair was a little windswept, and summer—or his stylist—had bleached highlights into it. His tanned cheeks held a healthy flush, and his grin was broad as he leaned against the wall separating the kitchen from the hall to the garage.
“Hey. How’s the ankle and shoulder?” Lane asked.
“It’s okay. Just a little sore. I’ll live.”
“I’m still a little bummed there’s no video of you wiping out. I mean, seriously, who goes mountain biking without a helmet cam these days? I’m very disappointed in you.”
Asa blew him a raspberry before going back to digging for bowls for the chips and salsa.
“You’re later than usual,” Asa said. He gave Lane a studying glance over his shoulder. “And you seem oddly chipper. Dare I ask?”
Lane lowered the wattage slightly on his grin and shrugged. “I don’t think I’m any more chipper than normal. I would have been earlier, but I decided to try a new pizza place and they lost my order, so I had to wait for them to start over.” He clapped his hands together and took a few steps into the kitchen before plunking his butt on the counter. He threw Asa a conspiratorial smile as he tapped his chin. “I suppose I might be looking forward to meeting Danny’s special someone too. That should be entertaining at least, since I don’t remember the last time he brought a ‘special someone’ around.”
Asa rolled his eyes. “You’re going to make me regret calling you to make sure you brought enough pizza. Besides, Danny didn’t say the guy was his ‘special someone.’ In fact, he introduced him only as his roommate, so let’s not jump to conclusions.”
“Hey,” Lane replied as he threw up his hands, “I was only thinking on the bright side. The kid could use a chance to get laid. It might make him loosen up a little or motivate him to make some changes.”
“Danny’s fine as he is. His life is his choice,” Asa shot back with a frown. “He’s just not like you. That’s all. I think he’s more like me. He’s better on a one-on-one basis than in groups. I’ve had a good time hanging out with him lately.”
“Have you?”
Lane’s tone made Asa glance at him curiously. The big guy’s habitual grin was gone. Taking Lane’s frown as skepticism, Asa gave him a sour look.
“You’re too hard on him. I know he and Derek have some problems, but that doesn’t mean Danny isn’t a good person. Hell, you should know that better than anyone after all he’s done for you guys… and me.”
Lane waved a conciliatory hand again. “I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. When did I say that?”
Asa quirked an eyebrow, and Lane chuckled.
“I’ve known Danny since I was in high school. He’s a good kid. He’s just a little lost right now. His folks were perfectly willing to help him get his degree, and he threw it all away for no good reason, and he refuses to even talk about it. Now he has to pay for his mistakes like the rest of us. I was only suggesting you be careful. That’s all. I’m allowed to worry about both of you for different reasons, you know.”
“Everybody makes mistakes,” Asa countered, rolling his shoulders to release some of the rising tension there. “We shouldn’t have to pay for them for the rest of our lives, and neither should he. And everyone deserves a leg up from time to time, especially from their friends.”
“And that’s what worries me.”
Asa put the bag of chips down and turned to fully face Lane. “What?”
“You and your big old soft heart. You’re a sucker for the poor and downtrodden. You’ll give him both legs up and arms too, if he asks. I’ve known you a long time too, remember?”
Reining in his temper, Asa folded his arms across his chest and twisted his lips. “I’m not a sucker, and Danny isn’t like that. He hasn’t asked me for anything.”
“Is he still driving Sean’s Jeep?”
Lane scored a hit with that one, and he knew it, but Asa wasn’t in the mood to try to explain.
“I’m a big boy,” Asa said as patiently as he could manage, “and Danny’s a good friend. I’m asking you to play nice, at least while you’re in my house.”
“He’s my friend too,” Lane protested. “But I’m allowed to worry that whatever is going on with him will spill over onto you too. And for the record, all of us have tried to help him at one time or another. Derek and his parents are still perfectly willing to give him whatever he needs, if he’d ask. They’ve tried dozens of times, but he refuses to talk to them.”
That caught Asa off guard. He hadn’t known that. Danny was a bit proud and stubborn. Still, Asa couldn’t imagine the Danny he knew shutting his family out completely. Of course, Danny hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with Asa either, and that hurt more than it should. They’d only just started spending real time together, though. Asa shouldn’t expect Danny to share more with him than he would with his own family. That was stupid.
Jesus, what is going on with me today?
“I’m sure he has his reasons,” Asa defended lamely.
The doorbell rang, saving him from having to continue their back-and-forth, and Asa blew out a relieved breath as he moved past Lane to answer it. He was getting way too emotional for a Sunday afternoon with the guys.
When he opened the door, Danny stood on the threshold all by himself, and the rush of happiness Asa experienced surprised him.
“Hey!” he said, as a real smile stretched his lips for the first time all day.
“Hey.”
Danny stepped in for a hello hug and something in Asa’s chest relaxed at the contact. The feeling was so nice, he didn’t want to let go, but before it could get awkward, he stepped back and raised his eyebrows. “Where’s your friend?”
Danny opened his mouth, but Lane cut in from behind him, “Danny boy! Where’s your date?”
Asa shot Lane a sour look over his shoulder, but not before he caught Danny’s grimace.
“Trevor’s my roommate, not my date, and he couldn’t make it,” Danny replied firmly. “Sorry, I should have told you he wasn’t coming.”
“It’s okay,” Asa replied as Danny knelt to greet Minion after the dog shoved his way past to get to him. “You’re welcome to bring him next time if you want.”
“Thanks.”
Danny’s smile seemed a bit forced, which made Asa curious, but now wasn’t the time with Lane hovering nearby. He’d have to file it away with the rest of his questions and concerns and hope for an opportunity to dig them out later.
“Well, come on in and let’s get the party started,” Asa said, ushering everyone toward the kitchen.
Walker arrived only a few minutes later, and game day proceeded about the same as always. Asa’s mood had improved significantly, and he teased and bantered with the guys, even if he found himself glancing in Danny’s direction a little more than before. Something about seeing Danny curled up on the couch with Minion soothed him… at least until Danny turned to him shortly after halftime and murmured, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure. We need more chips anyway.” Asa stood, and Lane gave him a questioning look. “Going for refills. Be right back.”
He grabbed a bowl, and Danny grabbed the other and followed him toward the stairs with Minion close behind.
“Hey, Danny boy, grab some more paper towels before you come back down, okay?” Lane called over his shoulder, and Asa rolled his eyes and continued upstairs.
When they reached the kitchen, he made a production of refilling the bowls as he asked, “Is something wrong?”
“No. I just wanted to talk to you about the Jeep. If it’s okay, I’ll leave the keys here and you can put it back in the garage once everyone has left. I parked it only a few houses down, and it’s probably easier to wait than make everyone shuffle around right now.”
Asa had completely forgotten about the Jeep. He turned around and eyed Danny’s khakis and black T-shirt. “You don’t look like you’re dressed for riding your bike to work.”
“I have clothes in my bag. I already wheeled my bike down here. I only need a couple minutes to change and I’ll be good to go.”
“You don’t have to do that. Why don’t you keep the Jeep, and I’ll get it back from you sometime this week, like when I take you out for that dinner I’ve been promising you forever?”
Danny’s answering smile was so freaking sweet it made Asa’s chest tighten. “We could do the dinner thing whether or not I keep the Jeep,” Danny pointed out. His warm brown eyes sparkled with good humor, washing away some of the lines of tension that had crept back in when they’d come upstairs.
Asa’s answering grin turned a little sly as he lifted an eyebrow. “You remember my conditions on the return of the Jeep, though, right?”
Danny’s eyebrows dipped for a second in confusion before they shot up his forehead as Asa advanced on him.
“Come on,” Asa commanded, crooking a finger, “let’s see that knee, and then we’ll talk about whether you leave the Jeep or not.”
Danny took a step back for every one Asa took forward and color climbed up his neck, but he was still smiling. Asa made a grab for Danny’s pant leg, but Danny danced out of the way. Minion picked up on the mood and shuffled farther into the kitchen, putting himself in the middle of the action with an excited woof and much tail wagging.
“It’s fine,” Danny said, chuckling as he dodged both Minion’s tongue and Asa. “I’m fine.”
“Prove it.”
