Danny Doormat, page 21
When Asa let out a startled chuckle, Danny realized he’d actually said that out loud, and his cheeks heated.
“Maybe,” Asa agreed, still smiling, “but I think it’s kind of important right now. I don’t want to upset you again, but not very long ago you were shaking and crying in my arms.” When Danny grimaced and tried to hide his face, Asa leaned closer and cupped his cheek again. “That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. What happened yesterday was really horrible, and I don’t even know everything, I’m sure. I get that you might not want to talk about it or you might want to forget it, but obviously it’s affecting you, and us making out on the couch isn’t going to fix that.”
“It might,” Danny joked. “Or maybe a bed might completely solve the problem. You never know until you try.”
“Danny.”
With a pained sigh, Danny gave in to the complaints of his body and leaned back into the couch cushions. The drugs were doing their job, so the pain had become fuzzy and faraway again, but he was still so tired. The weight of the real world loomed menacingly over him, just waiting to come crashing down. At least the giddy knowledge that Asa had actually voluntarily kissed him, and hopefully there might be more of that coming, burned away some of the anxiety bottled up inside him.
Don’t blow this, Dorfmann. Whatever you do, don’t blow it.
After the internal pep talk, he took a deep breath and lifted his gaze to meet Asa’s, full-on, like the mature, confident, together adult he wasn’t. “I’m okay, Asa, really… well, mostly,” he amended when Asa’s skeptical frown morphed into something that looked more like hurt.
“I won’t make you talk about it, if you really don’t want to,” Asa replied quietly, twisting the guilt knife in, “but I wish you’d talk to someone.”
With his face a study in disappointment, Asa released his hand and made to get up, but Danny clutched at it desperately.
“I’m sorry. Don’t get up, please.”
Asa shook his head. “You don’t have to be sorry. If you don’t want to talk to me, I understand.”
His expression said pretty much the opposite, and Danny clung to his hand even harder. “Please don’t go.”
Asa settled back down on the cushion next to him, and the constriction in Danny’s chest eased a little.
“I’m here for you no matter what,” Asa said, holding his gaze. “I just wish you’d trust me.”
“I do,” Danny protested.
Asa didn’t reply, and the heavy silence that fell between them became unbearable. Honestly, what could Asa possibly say to that? Danny hadn’t given him anything. But every fiber of his being rejected the thought of dumping the shitstorm of his life all over Asa. Still, people in relationships—healthy ones at least—had to be honest with each other, right? Everyone said so. Danny might never have actually had one of those, but he wasn’t an idiot. He also knew Asa pretty well after being obsessed with him and his husband for years. Asa wasn’t a halfway kind of guy. Danny didn’t want halfway from him either. He wanted everything. That meant he had to give everything or he’d lose his shot before he ever took it.
A little short of breath now and praying for courage, he squeezed Asa’s arm to get his attention, and then held his gaze. “Okay, these last few weeks with you have been the best part of my life. And right now, the thing that terrifies me the most is fucking that up. Because I’m really good at fucking things up, obviously.”
“You’re not fucking anything up,” Asa argued gently.
His hurt expression had softened into something so much sweeter, and suddenly, being honest wasn’t quite so painful anymore. He’d done the right thing for once.
“Yeah, I was. I hurt you. You said so yourself. I don’t ever want to do that. I just didn’t want you to worry about me, like everyone always does. I wanted you to have fun with me, to enjoy spending time with me, as an equal.”
“I did. I do,” Asa protested. “But I’m always going to worry about you. That’s who I am. Worry is kind of our family motto. I worry about my mom and dad and my sister and her family. I worried about Sean all the time. It didn’t mean I didn’t respect him or believe in him. I worried because I cared. I care about you too.”
Danny licked his lips and stared at Asa as he struggled to contain his emotions. Goddamned if he didn’t want to start crying again, this time from joy.
“I get that,” he croaked, after clearing his throat. “I care about you too, a lot… I mean, like, really a lot.”
Asa’s smile lit up the whole room, and the weight on Danny’s chest lifted with it, despite his cheeks flaming with the admission. Danny was rewarded for his sacrifice when Asa leaned in and pressed their lips together again. Asa had probably intended it to be a sweet kiss, but Danny’s tongue swept out to trace every soft inch of Asa’s gorgeous lips, and they both got a little carried away for a while. Yet again, Asa’s was the voice of reason when they broke apart to breathe.
“We should probably do something about that food you prepared,” he said breathlessly while Danny tried to stifle his whimper of disappointment.
Danny’s libido clamored loudly in the back of his head, trying to convince him he could survive on kisses alone, but logic eventually weighed in. His prescription bottles had said they should be taken with food, and he’d probably regret it if he didn’t. Nausea would not be sexy if he ever managed to coax Asa into a bed.
He moved to follow Asa to the kitchen, but a hand on his chest stopped him.
“Oh no. You’re staying there and resting. Doctor’s orders,” Asa said sternly.
“It’s a few pancakes and some eggs. I can manage that. It’ll only take a couple of minutes.”
Asa frowned like he wanted to argue, but Danny pushed himself to his feet anyway.
“Besides,” Danny continued airily, “you can’t cook.”
“I think I could handle a couple of eggs without burning them,” Asa said, looking a little offended.
“Let’s not risk it.”
With a grin, Danny hobbled past while Asa gaped at him, but when Asa’s warm palm landed gently on the small of Danny’s back, his breath stuttered. It was such a casual, intimate gesture Asa probably didn’t even realize its effect, but Danny felt the touch all the way to his toes.
Please, please, please don’t let me fuck this up.
“Is it okay if I watch from a safe distance?” Asa asked with an exaggerated pout.
“Of course. You can even take the bacon out of the oven and put it on a paper towel for me.”
“Thanks,” Asa replied wryly, but he smiled, and Danny’s little heart fluttered.
It could be like this all the time. His life could be this, if he could just get his shit together. How the hell he was going to do that with a broken arm and medical debt heaped on top of what he already struggled with was anybody’s guess, but a boy could dream, right? He had something to work toward now.
They didn’t do any real talking before or during breakfast, for which Danny was infinitely grateful. He could pretend a little longer while they flirted over pancakes and eggs.
Unfortunately, his idyll couldn’t last forever, especially after the fourth time he heard Asa’s phone vibrating on the kitchen counter.
“You gonna get that?” Danny asked with resignation.
Asa sighed and nodded. When he returned to the table, his expression changed as he listened to what sounded like voicemail.
“Derek?” Danny asked reluctantly after Asa pulled the phone away from his ear.
“No. He left a message earlier. That was the police officer I spoke to yesterday. I guess someone from the district attorney’s office has been trying to call you, and he wanted to check in to make sure everything’s okay.”
“Shit. My phone’s still at the apartment,” Danny said as he started to regret his breakfast.
“Okay. Well, why don’t I pick it up along with anything else you might want while you’re at your doctor’s appointment? I can swing by the apartment after I drop you off.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”
Danny shook his head. “I don’t have my keys, and I don’t think the super will let you in without me there.”
Asa looked so concerned, Danny forced a smile for him past the churning in his stomach. “It’s okay. Really. I have to go back there sometime.”
“Let me call the officer back at least, to make sure Trevor won’t be there. You shouldn’t have to deal with him.”
Danny didn’t want to deal with any of it, if he were being completely honest, but despite what Derek seemed to think, he wasn’t completely delusional. He dealt with real life every single day, and he’d deal with this too, somehow. Time to put on his big boy pants and get to it. At least the chance of a quiet evening alone with Asa afterward hovered right out of reach. They could have a nice dinner and then a little making out on the couch again, and—
“Danny?”
“Huh?”
“I said I’m going to hop in the shower and get ready, and you should go rest on the couch. I’ll take care of the kitchen when we get back. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Danny’s grin was probably more goofy and embarrassed than wicked, but he tried. “I’m good. Just thinking about tonight rather than the rest of today.” He gave Asa his best Minion puppy-dog eyes imitation. “You’ve gotta give me something to look forward to so I can make it through the day.”
Asa’s worried frown slowly disappeared, and his lips curved as he seemed to take Danny’s meaning.
“Then I guess we better get the day over with as soon as possible.”
He sidled in for an all-too-brief kiss, before moving toward the stairs.
“That would be nice,” Danny murmured, watching him go.
Chapter Seventeen
THEY STOPPED at the orthopedist’s first, and after a couple hours of poking, prodding, and plastering, Danny looked a bit gray, but he had a brand-new purple-wrapped cast instead of the splint. Asa had tried once more to convince him to go back to the house and let Asa go to the apartment alone, but of course Danny had stubbornly refused.
On the drive over, Danny used Asa’s phone to call the site manager so someone could let them in, and the same guy in matching green pants and shirt who’d let Asa in the day before waited for them at the door. Asa watched Danny carefully as the man unlocked the door, but Danny’s expression—other than a slight tightness around his eyes and mouth—betrayed nothing of his feelings.
Asa’s first impression of the apartment was that nothing had been touched since the day before. Debris, overturned furniture, and broken glass still littered the floor, and there was a hole in the drywall near the hall leading back to what Asa assumed would be the bedrooms. After thanking the man who’d let them in, Danny waited for him to leave before hurrying to his bike, and Asa winced at the little groan Danny let out.
“You okay?”
It was a stupid question, but Danny nodded before he blew out a breath, lifted his bike off the floor, and leaned it against the nearest wall.
“Come on. Let’s find my phone and grab the rest of my stuff. And I really need to get these contacts out before they’re stuck permanently to my dry, itchy eyeballs,” he replied with the ghost of a smile.
“We can put the bike in the back of my crossover and take it to a repair shop on the way home,” Asa offered as Danny began scanning the room.
“Yeah. Okay. Thanks.”
They found the phone under some bits of black plastic from the TV after Asa called it. At least it still worked, even if it looked a bit worse for wear.
“I guess I dropped it when I came back out to try to save my bike,” Danny said woodenly as he stared at it in his palm.
“Danny?” Asa said after the silence stretched a little too long.
Danny blinked up at him, and when his eyes finally focused, his lips twisted into a weak smile. “I’m okay. Sorry.”
He shoved his phone into his pocket and strode purposefully toward what Asa assumed were the bedrooms. While Danny took out his contacts and packed, Asa mostly hovered in the background, feeling useless. Danny’s color still wasn’t exactly normal, so Asa went back up the hall in search of a glass for some water. The kitchen remained largely untouched, so he easily found a glass in one of the cabinets, but he also discovered an envelope on the kitchen counter with “Daniel Dorfmann” written in impressively tidy block letters on the front. He scowled and picked it up. He was pretty sure this couldn’t be anything good, but it wasn’t his decision to make, so he carried it and the glass back to the bedroom with him.
“Danny?” he called from the doorway. “I got you some water and found this in the kitchen.” He waved the envelope in the air.
Danny put the clothes he held into a somewhat battered suitcase and approached. He took the letter from Asa’s hands and frowned at it. Before Asa could offer to get rid of it or give him assurances he didn’t have to read it, Danny ripped it open and unfolded the paper inside. He worried his lower lip as he scanned the page, but the script was so small and tightly packed, Asa had no hope of reading any of it upside down from a few feet away.
“Is it from Trevor?” Asa finally asked when he couldn’t contain his curiosity anymore.
Danny shook his head. “It’s from his mom.”
“His mom?” That was unexpected.
Danny’s expression was unreadable when he finally looked up. “I guess Trevor called his parents from jail and they drove up. She says their lawyer told them not to talk to me, but she didn’t feel right about that. Trevor made bail, like that officer told you. He’s out, but they’re taking him home with them, and he’s going to check into a hospital for a while. She says he’s really sorry for what happened, and he won’t be back except for the trial, if there ends up being one.”
Asa was really tempted to ask “And how does that make you feel?” but thought that might be a little too trite, so he went with “I guess that’s good, right?”
Danny’s lips twisted uncertainly. “Yeah.” He worried his lip again and studied the page for another minute before blowing out a breath and tucking it away.
Unable to stop himself, Asa moved closer and touched Danny’s cheek. “You sure you’re okay?”
Danny’s smile was a little brighter this time as he nodded. “Yeah, I guess so…. I mean, it was scary as shit, but when I think about it, I don’t really want him to go to jail. I only want him to stay the hell away from me. If he’s going to get help, I think I’m good with that… maybe?”
Asa leaned down and gave him a soft kiss, and even if Danny’s answering smile was a bit surprised, it seemed genuine, which was all Asa had been aiming for.
“You have plenty of time to decide how you feel. And you can change your mind later, if you want,” Asa said, “Come on, let’s get the rest of your stuff and get out of here. I think you’ve done enough for one day.”
Danny fell asleep in the car on the way home, and Asa couldn’t blame him. His own injuries were nothing in comparison, but he was wilting pretty fast himself. He’d had to crank the AC all the way up so he didn’t doze off in the heat.
Once inside the house, he tucked Danny up on the sectional in the basement, and Minion cuddled up beside him after his potty break. As a sign of how tired he was, Danny only made a weak protest before allowing Asa to take his glasses off and drape a light throw over him.
Asa had a hunch he’d be calling in sick to work tomorrow also. Luckily, his team didn’t have any major deadlines right now, so he could take the time to figure things out without burdening anyone too much. They could always reach him by email or phone if something important came up.
Despite his fatigue, Asa didn’t feel ready to fall asleep with Danny, though. His mind spun in too many directions at once, so he crept back upstairs to leave Danny and Minion in peace. Luckily he did, because his phone chimed with another text just as he reached the kitchen.
Derek had been calling and texting both their phones off and on all day. They’d been able to put him off with updates during their errands, but Derek had never been a particularly patient man, and he now threatened to come pounding on the door if one of them didn’t talk to him. With a sigh of resignation, Asa decided to take one for the team.
“Asa?” Derek answered.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Are you guys back? What happened at the doctor’s office?”
“We’re back. Danny’s sleeping. He’s got a cast he needs to wear for about ten weeks, but the doctor thinks everything should heal up fine, given time.”
Derek whistled. “Ten weeks? Jesus. I guess that’s better than surgery. Well, I talked to Mom and Dad, and they agree that Danny should come and stay with them for a while. I canceled my flight yesterday, but I need to get back to Seattle tonight. I can still get the ball rolling in terms of getting him packed up, though. Lane had to go to work, but I have a few hours before my flight, and I can call an Uber to get around. I’ll need to get a key from him and—”
“Derek, stop.”
Asa hated to be rude, but he had a feeling Derek would have the next year of Danny’s life planned out if he didn’t cut in. And he knew for a fact that Danny wasn’t going to agree to any of this. For purely selfish reasons, Asa didn’t exactly want him to either.
“What?” Derek asked.
“Listen, I’m sure Danny appreciates all you’re trying to do, but I don’t think that’s what he wants. Obviously I can’t speak for him, but I think he’d like a little time to decide for himself what he’s going to do.”
The line went silent for a few beats before Derek spoke again. “Asa, I know you and Danny have been spending some time together, and we’re really grateful for everything you did for him, but this is a family thing. Danny knows he doesn’t have much choice. He can’t go back to that apartment with that guy. He has to stop being stubborn and admit he needs our help.”
After all the “We love you. You’re family” talk Asa had received since Sean died, being excluded in this instance stung a bit, but Asa shook it off. Like Sean and Lane, Derek was used to getting his way by sheer force of personality alone. Danny’s passive resistance had to be galling as hell. And obviously, Derek was upset and worried for his little brother. His way of showing it was a bit off the mark, that’s all.
