Keep Her Safe, page 21
I continue wiping her, ignoring her question because I really don’t want to tell her why and I’m fucking irritated with myself that I didn’t have the foresight to move the bottle of perfume.
“Damian.” I don’t respond, keeping my eyes trained on her sex that’s covered in a slick layer of me. She swats my hand away and I swat hers back and continue wiping her even though now she’s cleaned of my seed. I just want my hands on her. I press my finger to her pussy, dragging my index finger through her folds and she pushes my hand away despite the tremor that moves through her. “Answer me.” I let out a sigh because I know she’s not going to let this go. “I knew I wasn’t crazy when I smelled my perfume here.” She frowns and I wonder what she’s thinking.
My eyes lift to meet her curious ones. “Want to tell me what you’re thinking?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think you have another woman.” She furrows her brows and I push her into the blankets, resting my body on top of hers without putting too much weight on her.
“Correct.” I drop my head to her chest. “It smells like you.”
“We’ve established that.” She deadpans and I chuckle.
“I spray it sometimes…” I press a kiss to her nipple letting my tongue dart out to lick the sweat in the valley of her breasts. “When I’m thinking about you and touching my dick.”
I reluctantly look up at her, somewhat worried about the look that could be on her face. Her eyes widen in realization and her mouth drops open as goosebumps pop up all over her flesh. “What?”
“I know it’s a little insane, but it made me feel like you were really here.”
A sexy smile finds her face. “Oh my god, that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever heard. You masturbate to…my scent?” She wraps her legs around me, pulling me closer, and based on how we’re positioned, her wet sex presses against my abs and I relish the feeling of her wetness on me.
“I didn’t do it often, just on the nights when I was overwhelmed by the fact that you couldn’t be mine.”
“Well, I am now,” she says. I move to my back and pull her into my arms so she can rest her head on my chest. “You said you were falling for me,” she whispers, drawing circles on my chest with her index finger.
I nod. “I did.”
She pulls away to look up at me and I look down into her warm brown eyes. “Did you mean that?”
“Shay, I’ve been falling for you for a really long time.”
Over the next week, Damian and I are attached at the hip whenever I’m not on set. I’m back to shooting fourteen-hour days and when I’m not there, I’m at my house wrapped in his arms or in a bathtub soaking my tired limbs as Damian rubs my feet or my shoulders or my pussy. If we’re behind closed doors, I’m in his lap. I fall asleep in his arms, wake up in them, and I don’t think I’ve taken a shower by myself since our first one. We have sleepy morning sex before we get up for the day and at midnight when I get home from the set just before I close my eyes. We make love and we fuck hard and it’s always passionate and overwhelming and it takes my breath away most times.
He hasn’t told me he loves me but I feel things shifting between us. With every passing day, I feel our relationship growing stronger. We’ve been able to keep our relationship a secret, keeping everything professional while we’re in public, but I know it’s only a matter of time before I have to tell Cooper and my team about us.
After the light fixture accident, Damian has been on set watching things closely, and I’ll admit it’s been nice having him close by. Especially the days I have love scenes with Jeremy. He fucks me mercilessly those nights almost to the point of exhaustion. I don’t know if it’s out of jealousy or just his possessive nature, but I fucking love it.
I love him.
And I think he loves me too.
It’s seven in the morning, and I’m sitting in the back of my Range Rover behind Damian’s seat as he drives us to the set when I notice him darting his eyes between the rearview mirror and the side mirrors every few moments. I narrow my eyes in question. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head, finding my eyes in the rearview mirror. “Nothing, baby.”
“Liar,” I say leaning forward. “Tell me.”
“Sit back,” he tells me, and I notice he picks up speed a little. I turn around, staring behind us. I don’t notice anything out of the ordinary, making me wonder if he’s being a little paranoid. I stare out the back window, but all I see is a steady stream of cars and I briefly wonder if there’s one in particular that’s been following us.
I know Damian is a little on edge about the letters I’ve gotten and apparently that I’ve been steadily getting the past few weeks. Especially the one that was taped to my gate that one day. He changed all the passcodes that day and now no one can get through the main gate without being buzzed in. I haven’t seen any of the letters, but he told me the gist, and I’ll admit I’m glad that Damian and Cooper have been screening them all this time.
“Is someone following us?”
“I don’t know,” he tells me. “Something just doesn’t feel right. I’ve had this uneasy feeling I haven’t been able to shake for a couple of weeks and it pisses me off that I can’t pinpoint the source. Why do you think I’ve barely let you out of my sight?”
“Because you’re addicted to my pussy?” I blink at him and he gives me a look in the rearview mirror that seems equal parts annoyed and horny.
“Yes,” he grunts, “but that’s not why I haven’t let you out of my sight.”
“Baby, do you think you’re being a little paranoid because now things are different?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’ve always been very cautious and concerned about your safety.”
“Yes, but now you have different feelings for me. I’m your girlfriend now and I think that might be messing with your head a little.” I hope he focuses on the fact that it’s the first time I’ve referred to myself as his girlfriend and not anything else that might irritate him.
“It’s not in my head,” he tells me and the way he says it I decide not to push it.
He seems calmer for the rest of the ride and just before we pull onto the lot he stops just like he always does. He scans the area quickly for paparazzi before I lean forward to peck his lips like I always do. There aren’t usually a ton of paparazzi around the entrance because security is pretty tough and they figure the chances of catching anyone out here is slim to none.
Little do they know, I’ve made out with my bodyguard more than a few times at seven in the morning in this very spot.
When he pulls back, he stiffens and I see him looking in the rearview again. When I turn around, I see a car that is about thirty yards behind us pulling out of view.
“Is that…what you were looking at earlier?” I ask and he nods once, his eyes still staring through the mirror at the space behind our car.
I scratch the back of my head, trying to come up with something to say that will calm the very tense man in the car who looks like he’s about to break something. “It’s probably just paparazzi.”
He nods without another word and pulls onto the lot towards our normal parking space.
It’s about halfway through the day when there’s a knock on my dressing room and Veronica, Derek, and Jeremy come walking in before I even have a chance to respond. We had an hour break for lunch and Damian had gone to the car to check his emails after I promised him that I’d stay in my dressing room and he didn’t have to worry.
“Hi!” Veronica says, as she drops to my couch and props her slipper-covered feet on my coffee table. She has rollers in her hair, eye mask patches under her eyes, she’s dressed in a fluffy bathrobe, and I’m pretty sure she has whitening strips on her teeth. Derek and Jeremy are both in sweats holding their plastic containers of turkey club sandwiches and French fries. Derek sits next to Veronica and Jeremy sits next to me on the adjacent love seat and three sets of eyes stare at me without saying anything.
“What’s up?” I chuckle as I stare around at them. It isn’t unheard of for the four of us to have lunch together in one of our dressing rooms but with the way they marched in here, it seems like there’s an ulterior motive.
“We need a reason to come hang out in your room? Since when?” Derek jokes as he opens his container and puts his sandwich to his mouth. “You got any drinks in here?”
“In the fridge.” I nod towards the one I have in the corner and he grabs my last sparkling water. I narrow my gaze at him.
“I’ll get you another one. Relax, Princess.”
I turn to Jeremy who’s sitting right next to me ignoring Derek and his lack of manners.
“You don’t need a reason but…something tells me you have one.”
“We just want to talk,” Jeremy replies, dropping his hand to my thigh and squeezing gently.
“About?”
“You. What’s going on with you? Everything with Pax and now with Damian…how are you?”
I turn my head away from Jeremy to look at my best friend who’s staring at me intently.
“What is this?” I ask her.
She leans forward and grabs my hand. “Babe, we’re just…concerned.”
“About what?”
“It just seems like you’re isolating a little,” Veronica says. “We basically live together during the season and I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“The season just started.”
“Okay, and I haven’t seen you all week. You haven’t come out…you just…hole up in your house.” Veronica winces and I can hear the underlying questions and accusations.
“He doesn’t let you out of his sight, Shay,” Jeremy interjects and when I turn to look at him, his face is laced with concern. “Even when you’re out, he doesn’t take his eyes off of you.”
“Kind of his job,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood, but no one laughs.
“Riiiiight,” Derek says, “but now it just kind of comes off like the obsessive boyfriend that doesn’t want you to have a life outside of him.”
“That’s not what this is,” I say immediately. “He’s shaken up about what happened last week and I’ve been getting a lot of letters. Semi-threatening ones.” I wince.
Veronica narrows her gaze. “What? You didn’t tell me this.”
“I know. I didn’t want you to worry, but I’m good. I’m fine. I’m safe and that’s the most important thing.” They all just stare at me as if they don’t believe me. Derek looks down at his food and Veronica looks at me and I can almost hear her thinking ‘oh sweetie’. “Maybe you guys could come over and we could all hang out and you’ll see he’s different when he doesn’t have to be my bodyguard. That’s one of the reasons I haven’t been out. I can’t even kiss my boyfriend in public right now.”
“Boyfriend?” Derek asks with a mouthful of food. “We have labels already?”
“Damian and I…are a long time coming.” I bite my bottom lip and I see Jeremy giving me a look out of the corner of my eye.
“Oh reeeeally?” Derek laughs. “Well, isn’t that special?”
“Have you seen these letters, Shay?” Jeremy asks.
I turn my head back to him. “What?”
“These so-called threatening letters; have you actually seen them? Or did he just tell you they exist?”
“What are you getting at?” I ask.
“J…” Derek starts and Jeremy puts a hand up, to stop him from speaking.
“It’s just odd. You’ve gotten letters before and now suddenly there’s this big ass threat and so your bodyguard, who is now coincidentally your boyfriend, won’t let you leave the house?” His voice is laced with judgment. His eyes, which are usually a bright emerald, are darker than I’ve ever seen and I wonder if it’s because I’ve never seen him agitated.
“It’s not like that. I’m allowed to leave the house.”
“To come to set. Veronica just said she hasn’t seen you. He’s isolating you, Shay,” Jeremy argues.
“No, that’s not what this is. I said you guys should come over. Oh my God, we just started dating and I’m sorry that I’m enjoying the sex which means yeah, I don’t want houseguests.” I look around the circle. “For the record, when you two started dating,” I point at Derek and Veronica, “I didn’t see you for months, Veronica. And when you two are on again after being off for a considerable amount of time, you don’t emerge from a bedroom for anything except to hydrate. But do I say he’s isolating you? No, I’m supportive.” I look at Veronica, my voice full of hurt and irritation. “But by all means, come over! Let’s have a party!” I get up off the couch and go to my makeup chair so I don’t have to be sitting next to Jeremy anymore. He’s pissing me off the most out of all of them.
“Shay,” Veronica says and I can already hear the remorse in her tone. Something tells me that this was not her idea in the first place.
“Paxton royally screwed me over. He made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Like I wasn’t worthy of him. And then when I caught him, he acted like I should just forgive him because who would I find better than him? We were the perfect couple, why ruin that image? As if I didn’t have feelings.” I take another breath. “You guys are my best friends; I need you to understand that Damian is important to me.”
“Hello, I’m your best friend,” Veronica interjects. “These hooligans are good friends, fine. Not best friends. Just want to clarify,” she says pointing at them and back to me and I laugh, feeling some of my annoyance leave me slowly.
“Then be my best friend and get these two in line.” I point at Derek and Jeremy and Veronica nods emphatically.
“We are just worried about you,” Jeremy says. “And I know you feel connected to Damian because of everything you’ve been through with him but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s the best romantic partner for you. Trauma bonds don’t always equate to romance.”
“Okay…?” I ask and now I’m annoyed at him for referencing my trauma. I was not prepared for that. “But it doesn’t mean he’s not either. Jeremy, I appreciate the concern…” I narrow my eyes at him because maybe I don’t appreciate it all that much. He’s actually on my nerves and I’m annoyed I have to spend the next hour in a love scene with him. “I think? But you’re overstepping.”
“Yeah, J, back off.” Veronica gives him her signature look not to fuck with her and he rolls his eyes.
“Do you love him?” he asks.
Yes, but I haven’t even told him that. You’re certainly not going to hear it first. “I don’t think that’s your business.”
“Shay.” He cocks his head to the side. “I care about you and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“What gives you the impression that Damian would hurt me?”
He sighs. “I just know how easy it is to get caught up in the high of someone being all about you. His life revolves around you and it’s fun being up on that pedestal until it’s not.” He gives me a look like he knows a thing or two about it. I know some things about his relationship with his ex-girlfriend, mainly that she wasn’t in the limelight which means it’s very possible she was obsessed with Jeremy.
“Okay.”
“And after Paxton’s betrayal, it might be easy for you to feel like you’re falling in love with someone who seems to be all about you,” he adds.
“I have a shrink, Jeremy, thanks.”
“Have you talked to them about this?” he responds immediately and I think I’m officially over what seems to be turning into a lecture.
“No, I’ve been too busy having mind-numbing orgasms to talk to my shrink about it,” I snap. Damian’s theory that Jeremy has feelings for me hits me like a train and I wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have discounted his feelings so quickly because this feels intense and weird and not at all like our usual friendship. We always supported each other and now it feels…off.
Jeremy rubs his hands on his thighs and stands up nodding at me. “Okay, Shay. You’re like a sister to me and I worry about you. That’s all this is.”
“Fine.” I cross my arms not looking at him.
“Are we good?”
“Sure,” I say, still avoiding his gaze and he lets out a sigh before he leaves the room.
“What the fuck?” I look at Veronica, my eyes angry and my tone even angrier. I ignore Derek who’s still eating because as far as I’m concerned right now, they’re a packaged deal and he’s equally to blame.
“I’m sorry.”
“What was this, an intervention? An ambush? This is bullshit, V. You are my best friend. Why didn’t you come to me if you felt some type of way?”
“I…” She lets out a breath. “I didn’t realize it until Jeremy brought it up. He said things were weird at the club and Damian was being really intense about you all night and I was drunk and I took his word for it.”
“He wasn’t! We were horny—actually scratch that, namely I was horny because I was drunk and he was sober but we fucked in the bathroom and Jeremy caught us. Big deal!”
“Okay!” she exclaims. “I didn’t know that at the time. I only knew anything because Jeremy told me!”
“Of course, he did. What the fuck is up with him?” I look at Derek, and he freezes, mid chewing, and looks at me confused.
“I don’t know,” he says, his mouth full of food. He swallows and clears his throat. “He’s always had a soft spot for you.”
“He’s acting like it’s more than that and it’s freaking me out.”
He shakes his head. “No. I’ve asked him numerous times if he has feelings for you. While we’re drunk. High. You name it. He’s always said no and I know when that asshole is lying. I think he’s just genuinely concerned.”
“Well, I’m grown and I can take care of myself.” I blink at both of them. “Got it?”
The rest of the day on set was awful. Everyone could see that I was off and not my usual self. The chemistry between Jeremy and me was severely lacking and it showed. It finally got to the point that Lucas, the director, decided to call it quits early for the day because none of the scenes we were shooting were anything we could use.
