The Scandal You Started, page 41
“We are alone now,” he said, his stance wide, hands on his hips.
With a deep inhale, she hardened her expression, and Dominic braced himself to bear the pain of her words.
“Go home.”
“My home is where you are,” he said calmly.
“No. Your real home. In the past…where you’re supposed to be.”
“I’m supposed to be here with you,” he argued, moving towards her.
She backed away. “No, you’re not.” Her indifference splintered, revealing pained frustration. “This isn’t where you’re meant to be. This isn’t where you belong. That’s why history put you two hundred years in the past. And you can pretend we can fight it as much as you want, but we can’t. It’s impossible. Nothing we do or find here will ever let us have a life together. It will never work. So we should just stop fighting the inevitable.” She took a deep breath. “Go back to your time, Dominic, and forget about me.”
Her words gouged deep wounds through all his muscles, ones that would never heal if he let her push him away for good. But his own festering doubts taunted him.
What if she is correct? What if they really were impossible?
No. He refused to believe that. Because if that were true, why had they met in the first place?
“You keep referring to my history, Rayna,” Dominic said. “But what about yours? Perhaps in my original life, we never met, but in your life, we were always meant to meet. You were always meant to walk into my quarantine room, and I was always going to fight to have you as my Guardian. We were always meant to live together. And I was always going to fall in love with you. So how can you say it is impossible when it was meant to happen?”
He could see in Rayna’s eyes how she was chewing over the thought, but then she shook her head, quick and small. “Even if that was true, it still doesn’t mean I get to keep you.”
“Why not?” He swiftly closed the distance between them and ducked his head as he clasped her elbows. “Why can you not keep me? I am yours—”
“You’re not mine,” she snapped, breaking out of his hold. “You’re Lady Claire’s husband!”
“I am not,” Dominic spat.
He hated this faceless woman. Hated that her name was tied to his. He wasn’t her husband! He never would be. That man wasn’t him. It was false, intolerable to even think of himself doing such a thing.
Without a word, Rayna turned away and headed to the bedside cabinet. She opened the single drawer and whipped out some papers. Then she came back to him.
“Here.” She held it out for him.
He took it from her and flicked it open. “What is this?”
“It’s your history. Everything you were meant to do and be.”
His skin burned hot and cold with rage as his eyes rapidly skimmed the page, hooking on the words Rayna spoke aloud.
“You marry Lady Claire in March. You have four children with her. You build a school with her. You build a life with her.” Her voice cracked. “You’re happy with her…”
“Where did you get this?” he ground out, his hands visibly vibrating.
“It doesn’t matter.”
He brandished the papers in the air. “Who gave this to you, Rayna?”
But he knew who. It was Jim or one of the other POTeM Board members. One of the ones who didn’t want him and Rayna to stay together. And it was working.
It was tearing them apart.
“It doesn’t matter, Dominic,” she rumbled. “It’s just more proof that you and I shouldn’t be together. That you’re better off going back.”
“That’s nonsense,” he roared, throwing the stapled pages aside. “I will never be better off without you!”
“I can’t give you what she can.”
“There is nothing she could give me that you could not—”
“Marriage, Dominic!”
The sharp sound of his name echoed off the four walls as they both fell quiet.
Pain lanced across Rayna’s eyes, turning them glassy as her shoulders drooped. “You marry her,” she repeated. “You have a family with her. She gives you what you want.” She shook her head. “I can’t…I can’t do that. I don’t want to.”
Just like that, all his anger vanished like it’d never existed. His body swayed weakly as pieces fell off the cracked edges of his heart and clattered to the bottom of a dark depth.
“I don’t want to get married,” she continued, her voice wavering. “Every time I think about it, it feels suffocating. And I don’t want children either if it’s going to interfere with my career.” She hardened her tone. “And it will. You can say it won’t, but it will. And that’s not the life I want for myself. It’s what you want…but I can’t give it to you.”
“You do not mean that,” he uttered barely above a whisper, the frayed rope of his optimism threatening to rip. “You are only saying it to convince me to leave.”
“No, Dominic. You knew this from the beginning.”
He had. But he’d thought…she’d said…she’d said she would consider it, and he’d hoped…
Dominic struggled to swallow around the lump choking him, his nose and eyes stinging.
He’d hoped. Foolishly.
“I do not need marriage or children,” he declared in one last desperate attempt to keep her. “I only need you.”
A broken sob fell from her as she glanced away before staring at him through angry, tear-filled eyes. “Stop it. Just stop it,” she pleaded. “You can’t give up what you want for me. You’ll regret it, and you’ll hate me for it.”
“I could never.”
“You will.” Her gaze implored him to see reason. “We’re too different, Dominic. We grew up in different worlds. We want different things, and if we stay together, all we’ll do is hurt each other.” She threw a tired hand between them. “We’re already hurting each other and everyone around us. And your not always being there will hurt your family at some point too.”
He shook his head, denying the truth he could hear as he approached her. “I don’t believe that. I do not believe you. This is not you talking.” He clasped her face in his palms. “It is fear, and I understand, but please, my love, please do not allow it to come between us.”
“You read my mum’s notes,” she whispered, divulging what was really driving her away from him. “There’s no way to make this work.”
“That is not what she said. She simply did not have enough time to find a way.”
“Neither do we.”
Her words were final. And the remainder of his broken heart shattered like glass.
Rayna clasped her shaking fingers around his wrists and tugged. His hands fell away.
“Go home,” she said, her voice wet with unshed tears. “Please, Dominic. I’m begging you. Go back to where you belong.”
He teetered a few paces away, his body bruised, battered, and bleeding. Broken.
Everything he’d wanted with her, everything he’d dreamed of, was gone.
But the longer Dominic held her pleading stare, the hotter his ire grew until it sealed his pain behind roaring flames.
It wasn’t gone. It’d been taken from them. And he’d make whoever took it pay.
Whirling away with clenched fists, Dominic stormed to the door, just stopping to swipe up the papers he’d thrown aside. He rushed out of the room and down the stairs.
Victor, George, River, Kelly, and Erin were all still there, sitting on the sofas with varied degrees of twisted, sympathetic expressions. No doubt they’d heard the louder parts of his and Rayna’s argument or could guess the result of it from his scowling expression.
Dominic strode straight to Victor in the armchair and held the rolled papers up. “I need to know who gave this to Rayna. Now.”
Rayna:
Are you and River taking Dominic to the lab?
V:
Yes
Rayna:
Please don’t let him confront Sheun
It won’t change anything
Just bring him back to the farmhouse please
I’m heading there now
V:
He’s allowed to speak to her just like you did
Rayna:
Where are you?
Are you still at the lab?
Why haven’t you come back yet?
Dominic answer me
Rayna
It was agony, sitting in the farmhouse living room, trying to distract herself by flicking through random TV channels but glancing at the clock every five seconds, wondering why River and Victor hadn’t brought Dominic back yet.
She deserved it. Gosh, Rayna knew she deserved every second of suffering for all the devastation she’d caused Dominic. For pushing him away and filling his eyes with the web of cracks that marred his heart.
She’d hurt him.
She’d done it for him.
But she’d broken them both in the process.
Spewing those half-truths and lies to him had been the same as stabbing herself with poisoned arrows, the burn so excruciating she’d struggled to keep talking. She’d been so close to tears, so close to screaming that it wasn’t really what she wanted, but it was what she had to do.
She’d listened to Kelly, Erin, and George scold her and encourage her to rethink her decision afterwards. But she repeated to them what she told herself, what she chanted through the drive back to the farmhouse, and pleaded in broken whispers in the hour Dominic didn’t return.
He’ll be happier without me. He’ll be happier with Lady Claire. I just want him to be happy.
Rayna glanced at the clock ticking on the wall at the other end of the living room.
I want him…to come back.
Why won’t you hurry up and come back? Come back to me. Please, Dominic.
A minute passed. And then ten.
Rayna couldn’t take it anymore. She turned the TV off and paced the room as she dialled Dominic’s number repeatedly.
To no avail.
She let out a frustrated sound, dread making her pulse erratic, and tried one last time. That was when she heard a car driving along the gravel path right in front of the house.
She ran out of the room and ripped open the front door.
Dominic climbed out of the front passenger seat of River’s car, bent to say something, then closed the door as if he had all the time in the world. As if Rayna wasn’t standing behind him, anxious to the point of nausea, and that sent a stampede of anger trampling through her veins.
River gave her a pursed-lip nod through the windscreen, but she barely acknowledged it as Dominic walked towards the house.
“So because I didn’t answer my phone, you thought it’d be a nice bit of revenge not to answer yours?” she spat as River drove off down the path.
Dominic’s hollow, golden gaze stilled before he patted a hand over each of his front trouser pockets. “Apologies,” he said. “I do not seem to have it on me. I think I left it at the house.”
Oh…
“I did not mean to leave it behind. I am sorry.”
Her anger slipped off her shoulders, but sadness, guilt, and regret filled her throat. And it was the worst combination. One that threatened to spill the tears she was struggling to hold in.
“Why did you take so long?” she asked as she closed the door behind him.
“There was rather more to do than I had anticipated.”
She frowned at his broad back. “What does that mean?”
He stopped just past the living room entrance and rotated halfway. The bloodshot glaze coating his eyes made her stomach sink.
“I did as you asked. I shall be returning to my time at the end of our ten days.”
Nothing.
Rayna felt nothing. Said nothing. Heard nothing, not even her own heartbeat.
She waited and waited. And waited. Unblinking, unbreathing. Looking for the crack of a smile before Dominic told her it was a test, that he’d said it to prove she didn’t really want him to leave, that he was lying; really, he was staying, and there was nothing she could do to get rid of him. They’d marry and have children, not immediately but at some point, and he’d be the husband she never knew she wanted, and an amazing dad, and…and he’d be with her. Always.
He didn’t say any of that. Didn’t look away either.
He was serious.
He’d done it.
He was leaving.
Rayna’s lungs started burning, forcing her to breathe. “That’s…”
Good? Bad? Wrong? The best choice for him?
“That’s in two days.”
“It is.”
Silence.
For maybe a few seconds, a minute, or longer, she stared at him, and he stared back. They probably would have stayed there all night, unwilling to set each other free from their scrutiny, like they were afraid the other would disappear.
But then Dominic’s face crumpled on a gritted sound of pain. A stuttered exhale slipped between Rayna’s lips. He turned fully to face her, edged forward, arms reaching for her. And Rayna staggered towards him with urgency.
She collided into him, his arms bounding around her waist as hers went around his neck. He lifted her off the floor, and she kissed him.
She ravaged his mouth as he drank from her like an animal, both of them needing each other beyond finesse and civility. Because it wasn’t passion that had Rayna scoring Dominic’s scalp and nape with her nails, or him bruising her waist and hips with the imprint of his fingers.
It was desperation.
A desperate need to feel each other one last time, so they never forget what they had.
They didn’t make it to their bedroom.
Dominic dropped to his knees and laid Rayna down on the carpeted corridor at the top of the stairs. They licked at throats and lips and tongues, grunting and panting, as they pulled at zips and strings and buttons. Until he dragged her cotton trousers and underwear off her feet along with her slippers, and she’d pulled his boxers and chinos to the bottoms of his thighs.
Without a care for the rest of their clothes, she wrapped her hand around the thick root of his cock, and he hooked one of her legs high around his waist. He dropped over her on his forearms, his kiss-stung lips hovering over hers, as she pressed his tip to her sex.
He was too big, and she wasn’t wet enough. But she welcomed the slight discomfort, encouraged it by locking her limbs around him as he kept pushing into her. Until he filled her completely, and they were anchored to each other in the most intimate way possible.
That was when the weight of reality crashed down on Rayna’s chest, suffocating her on a sob. Her eyes swam and lips trembled, but she felt too vulnerable being so close to him. She didn’t want him to see her crying. She hated that she was crying again, so she screwed her lashes together and ducked her head.
But Dominic clamped her jaw between his thumb and fingers, forcing her face back up. “Open your eyes,” he croaked as he pulled his hips back.
She shook her head against his hand and mewled as he sank back into her. She couldn’t tell if she felt more pleasure than she did pain in her chest.
“Please, my love.” He dragged out. “Open your eyes.” He thrust in. “Look at me.” Drag. “Rayna.” Thrust. “Dammit, Rayna, open your eyes.”
He pumped his hips through his growled words, and she cried out, her wet lashes flying apart. And the way he was looking at her, his expression twisted, a pinch of despair between his brows, liquid brimming in his narrowed eyes, crushed her heart.
“Dominic,” she wretched, tears slipping from the corners of her eyes and vanishing into her hair.
“I love you,” he rasped, thrusting hard. “I love you.”
A harsh sob clambered out of her. “No, please. Don’t.”
She tried to cover his mouth, but he caught her wrist and pinned it to the carpet, his pelvis slapping against hers.
“I love you.”
“Dominic, please.”
“I love you, Rayna.” Tears dripped off his wet lashes and splashed against her cheeks as he let out a gritted sound. “I love you.”
“Dominic.” She wept harder as he pumped faster.
“I love you,” he ground out. “You may never forget that.” Thrust. “You are forbidden from forgetting me.” Thrust. “Promise me you won’t.”
“Please,” she begged.
But he didn’t stop. He kept her breathless on his thrusts between quiet sobs of his name as his tears dripped off her cheeks and intertwined with her own.
“You cannot forget me,” he pleaded. “You cannot, Rayna. Please. Please. Promise me you won’t. Promise you will always remember how I love you. Promise not to forget me.”
“I promise,” she cried out in wrenching mix of agony and pleasure. “I promise. Dominic, I—”
He captured her lips on a guttural sound, branding her own promise into her with his mouth and dick. And Rayna clung to him, vowing with her submission, with her every touch, claiming his tongue with her own, taking his rough pounding, catching his tears on her thumbs.
She told him with her body how much she would always love him.
Her orgasm didn’t crest with intensity. It was still sharp enough over the ache in her chest, but it was short. It didn’t linger as Dominic came inside her but rather collapsed with his body on top of hers. An empty end to something that had been about far more than pleasure.
Just like them.
This was their ending.
And they mourned it. Cradling each other as they cried, while he stayed buried inside her.
Chapter 49
Rayna
Something startled Rayna awake the next morning. A noise that broke through the barrier between reality and her mind, causing her eyes to fly open.
Sunlight faintly seeped through the curtains at her back, the AC was off, the blanket tangled around her knees, and Dominic’s T-shirt had ridden up past her shorts. But the space next to her was empty.
