The Scandal You Started, page 26
“I have spent many hours here with you,” Dominic said, walking to stand beside the man. “But you did not once suggest you knew how I felt for her.”
“I was waiting for some indication that Rayna liked you too, because, well…” Declan puffed out an amused breath as he rested his forearms against the flat of the stall door. “I take it from your complaints to Beast that you’ve discovered what she thinks of relationships.”
Dominic chuckled tiredly as he rested the broomstick to the side of the door. “It was somewhat more of a discourse on the pitfalls of love and marriage.”
Declan Griffin laughed. “Ah, yes. There probably isn’t anyone she knows who hasn’t heard that speech at least once.”
“I’m struggling with the fact I can see reason in many of her objections. Yet I do not think she is correct.”
“That’s because she isn’t. Not entirely.”
“How do I make her see that?”
“Dominic…” Declan’s lips formed his next words, but then they flooded out as a sigh. “They won’t let you stay. You know that, don’t you?”
“I am aware of this rule, yes.”
“So you know you can’t be with her.”
Dominic fortified his shoulders. “I will find a way. There has to be one. Some sort of compromise where I can remain with her without abandoning my own time and family.”
“It’s a path that will likely lead to heartbreak.”
“I will not be deterred off this path. I love her. And I would rather tear out my own heart than be without her. But I will find a way to make it possible.”
Declan searched Dominic’s face, then a teasing smile tugged at the older man’s mouth. “She has to want to marry you first.”
The playful jab made Dominic drop his head, his shoulders shaking on a self-deprecating laugh. “Yes. There is that issue.”
“But,” Declan continued. “You can’t make her see that she’s wrong.”
All amusement vanished from him. “Whyever not?”
“She’s too stubborn to be reasoned with when it comes to the topic of marriage. And it’s probably because of the things that have happened in her life.”
Dominic let his silence ask Declan to elaborate.
“She was only little when her parents got divorced—”
“Wait,” Dominic interrupted in surprise. “She knew her parents? I had thought—well, I had assumed…she never revealed she knew them.”
He’d thought Victor had raised her from a young age, and that she didn’t remember or had never met her mother and father. He hadn’t considered she’d spent a portion of her life with them before Victor had adopted her and George.
But then again, had he ever asked her?
“I can’t say that surprises me,” Declan said as he stole a glance at Beast, nibbling on a hanging salt lick. “It’s not something she finds easy discussing. I’ll let her tell you the details herself, but yes, she knew her parents. They divorced several years before Victor adopted her. That, and a few other difficult moments in her life, probably triggered her skewed view on relationships.
“Love and marriage—they’re not things that guarantee happiness, and she’s already seen and experienced a lot of the heartbreak that comes with that. I don’t doubt that’s why she doesn’t want anything to do with either of them.
“Attachment issues,” Declan added. “That’s what the youngsters call it. A fear of heartbreak and feeling out of control again is what I’d call it.” The man shrugged. “There are likely other reasons why she’s so against marriage, though. These kids see the good and the bad of so much on all these different social media apps, and she’s come to the conclusion that the bad outweighs the good. Then there are the things she’s likely heard from Studies, and the men she’s spoken to herself.
“Of course, I don’t blame her. So many of them are shameless, and women have had to deal with so much for hundreds of years. There’s bound to be some resentment as a result. But all of that combined is why you can’t change her opinion. Everything has solidified what she already knew about relationships.”
If Declan’s speech was meant to boost Dominic’s morale…it hadn’t worked. If anything, he felt so much more hopeless and helpless that his chest ached.
“However,” Declan said, and Dominic perked right up. “You can be the anomaly. You can show her you’re the exception to what she believes.” Declan smiled. “The fact you’re a Study and yet she’s still chosen to lower her guard around you tells me you’re already halfway there.”
Dominic’s heart swelled, feeling too full to contain behind his rib cage.
“But besides her feelings, you’re facing an impossible task, Dominic.”
“I know,” he admitted. “But I am willing to fight for her until my dying breath.”
After a moment of probing silence, Declan Griffin stood tall and offered out his hand. “However Winnie and I can help, we will.” The man then smirked. “Only find out first if our Rayna loves you enough to marry you or not.”
Chapter 32
Rayna
Rayna glanced up from her phone and across her shoulder when a quiet knock sounded at her open bedroom door.
Dominic peeked half out from behind it like a hesitant child.
A confused frown bunched her brows. Why on Neves was he knocking as if he were a stranger?
He shuffled a little further into the room. “May I come in?”
She arched an amused brow. “Since when have you ever asked?”
“Well, I…” He cleared his throat. “I wasn’t certain if you would like…” His cheeks pinkened as his mouth silently searched for words. “That is to say, women from my time prefer to have their own space when they are on their…courses.” He waved one hand around, quick and muddled. “At least, the women I am familiar with. Of my family, I mean to say. So I thought perhaps you might…wish for the same.”
Ah. So that was what was up.
Dominic was hesitating because her period had started.
He’d been just as awkward, stupefied, and cautiously curious that morning when she’d told him she’d started bleeding. Being from the time and environment that he was, he’d fumbled around the topic, trying to ask her about it without directly asking anything. She’d laughed, but she’d answered his questions and been honest about her discomfort.
She wanted to tease him again and tell him women from his time were likely forced to hide for the sake of protecting the delicate sensibilities of men such as himself. But his genuine uncertainty tugged at nameless strings inside her that cooed endearingly, so she took pity on him instead.
“Turn the light off and get in,” she said, nodding to his side of the bed.
His mouth lifted, small and sweet, before he slunk the rest of the way in.
Dominic shut the door behind him and switched the light off, but Rayna had already turned the lamp on in wait of him, so the room stayed mostly illuminated.
She placed her phone on the bedside cabinet closest to her and adjusted her pillow as he climbed under the thin blanket and lay down. He stayed in the middle of his pillow rather than immediately moving onto hers but placed his hand over her own.
“Are you still in pain?” he asked.
“A little achy, but I wouldn’t call it pain, no.”
Her answer put a troubled frown on his face. “Did you take any more medication?”
“It’s not that kind of pain. It’s just muscle ache in my lower back and legs.”
He swallowed as his gaze slipped to where the blanket was bunched around her waist. “Would it help if I were to massage you?” he said after a while.
“I’ll be fine once I sleep.”
“No, that will not do.” He lifted his arm and beckoned her closer. “Come here and lie on me.”
She shook her head with a grimace. “I’ll just start sweating, and then I’ll be even more uncomfortable.”
He lowered his hand back down to the mattress, but a lightbulb soon lit up in his eyes. He tipped onto his back and grabbed something off his bedside cabinet. The distinct beep of the AC turning on, followed by the low hum of its fan, filtered through the room.
He rolled over to face her with a smile. “How about now?”
She grinned playfully. “I thought you couldn’t sleep with the AC on.”
“It will merely take me a little longer, but that is not an issue.” He grasped her elbow and wormed his other hand between her waist and the mattress. “What will keep me up, however, is knowing I did not attempt to ease your pain even the slightest.”
She went pliant as he settled on his back and tucked her against his side, pulling her half over him so that his arm curled all the way around her back. His T-shirt was scented with fresh soap and sunshine mixed with his own warm musk. She filled her lungs to the brim with it as she nestled against him.
When he pulled one of her bare legs further across his thighs, she found herself asking, “Aren’t you uncomfortable with the fact I’m bleeding?”
She was wearing her trusty old, cut leggings and period pants combo, so the chance of her traumatising him by leaking was next to nil. Still, she was curious to know how he felt about it, considering he hadn’t voiced the reactions his face had made throughout the day.
Dominic was quiet and still for so long that she dropped her head back into the crook of his shoulder to look up at him. His brows dipped and rose not exactly in fluster, but he didn’t seem to know what his answer was.
“You can be honest,” she teased.
“I admit,” he started with a roll of his shoulders, “it is disconcerting to think of you simply…bleeding. But it does not make me uncomfortable. Rather, after everything you have told me, I am far more concerned with how it is making you feel.”
Her smirk bloomed into a pleasantly surprised grin. She leaned up and planted a kiss on his lips. “Good answer.”
He smiled and kissed her again, a little longer, a little slower, causing a flutter to start in her chest and spread as a rush of deep satisfaction all through her.
“Where would you like me to start?” he whispered. “Your back or your legs?”
“My back, please.”
Rayna rested her cheek against his chest as he began kneading his long, broad fingers into her hips and lower back.
She hummed when he rubbed a good spot. The gorgeous, receptive man that he was, he knew himself to keep massaging the same area.
As her eyes started growing heavy with slumber, an elusive wonder of the situation blanketed her thoughts, putting a smile on her face.
“You know,” she muttered, drawing tired circles over his heart with one finger. “You’re not anything like what I’ve read and heard noblemen were like.”
She felt his lips curl against her hairline. “My darling, I can guarantee many of the noblemen I know are exactly like what you have read and heard them to be.”
“Entitled, frivolous, misogynistic, aloof, and judgemental?”
“That is an adequate summary, yes.”
“So why aren’t you like that?” She amended, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, you were an entitled prick in your quarantine room. And you’re arrogant and irritatingly high-handed sometimes. But other than that, you’re much more…open and expressive.”
“It is not so much arrogance as it is a lack of false modesty, sweetheart. Modesty is not a trait suited to a man of my position. It would make me appear weak amongst my peers, and the world of the upper crust is cruel. Weakness only ever leads to exploitation. The same way falsely boasting myself would make me a fool too. I am neither. I am merely confident in my judgement.”
She pondered over what he said as he caressed his hands down her arse to knead the back of her thighs.
“And as for what you consider to be high-handedness, you stubborn woman. I am only behaving as a man ought to. By making decisions for the benefit of those I care for, those I am responsible for, that will serve them as well as protect them. That is what it means to be a man and marquess. I lead so that others may live comfortably.”
“But shouldn’t you involve the people you’re making decisions for to know that they actually agree and want that?”
“I do not rule by autocracy, my love, but if I asked everyone’s opinion, nothing would ever be decided.” She went to argue, but he continued, “However, I have come to realise since being here that having all decisions made for you can be rather frustrating. Especially when you are powerless to do anything else.”
She craned her neck and grinned. He granted her a lopsided smile.
“I concede that sometimes a compromise can satisfy the egos of both parties.” He narrowed his eyes. “But not in the matters you have persistently argued with me over.” She rolled her eyes, and he growled, “Do not dismiss me thus. Learn to obey me instead.”
His words held no real fervour, so she smirked sarcastically. “The only time I’ll ever ‘obey’ you is when you’re shoving your fat dick in me. That’s about it, honey.”
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she acknowledged that she’d called him “honey.” She never called anyone honey, but it just…rolled off her tongue for some reason.
He chuckled, and the way it vibrated through her sent the thought scattering. “That is a start, I suppose.”
They shared a beaming moment before Rayna lowered her chin, nuzzling her cheek against his chest. His caressing hands travelled up to her lower back again.
“What were you like as a child?” she muttered after a while.
“Oh, I was fascinated with my father,” he said, his timbre thick with reminiscent pride. “Art and I followed him everywhere, and rather than banishing us to the nursery, our father encouraged it, much to our governess’s dismay. The only reason Mrs Hutch managed to educate us sufficiently enough was because Mother Penny barred Father from interrupting our lessons.”
He brushed his scratchy jaw against her hair. “But I spent many a day going to town with Father, or visiting farmers and tenants, or working alongside the stable boys. And when Art and I could not accompany him, we were usually stealing Mary and the twins from the nursery to play outside.”
“Mary’s the one who married your friend, and Patricia and Solomon are the twins, right?”
“Yes, that is correct,” he said, squeezing up the shape of her hips and back down again. “It used to frazzle poor Mother Penny when Mrs Hutch found us, or I brought them back indoors covered in dirt. She would fuss while Father scolded us while trying not to laugh. Then when the weather suited it, Father would call for a picnic, and when it didn’t, they’d scrub us down and have dinner with us in the nursery. There were times when we would dance in the drawing room too, while Mrs Hutch played the piano.”
His voice grew softer. “As a young man, I was far more reluctant to participate in such frolicking, professing it wasn’t at all enjoyable while pretending Mary or Patricia were forcing me to dance. But looking back, those evenings in the drawing room were some of the best.”
A faint sting prickled across the back of Rayna’s nose and eyes. They weren’t as a result of tears but rather an overwhelming sense of happiness in the memories Dominic spoke of, combed through with nostalgic sadness of a time that would never come back.
It made a lot of sense why he was the way he was.
He was the product of being the eldest child and brother in a tight-knit, affectionate family. Confident and responsible. Persistent and protective. Caring and romantic.
It was sweet, but an odd, crawling sensation thinned her smile.
Likely, Dominic imagined having a similar family himself one day. Am I stopping him from having that?
She erased the thought the second it appeared because it was absurd. She wasn’t stopping him from doing anything. They were just having some fun, and then he’d return to his place in history, and he’d have the family he was meant to. Without her.
Not that she wanted to have a family with him. No, no. Gosh, no. That—that wasn’t it. Rayna couldn’t. Obviously. But…
It was…weird. Thinking about him lying with another woman the way he was with her in just over two months’ time. He wouldn’t remember a single moment of it either.
But she’d remember it all.
Swallowing down what she didn’t want to think about, she shifted against his arm until she was looking up at him again. “Your mum passed away giving birth to Art, didn’t she?”
He nodded. “Yes. I was only two, so I do not remember her. But Father always spoke fondly of her. Though they had more of a friendship than the kind of love he shared with Mother Penny.”
“Do you miss them?”
“Who? Father and Mother Penny? Or do you mean my mother?”
“All of them.”
“I suppose I miss the idea of my mother, but I do not remember her, so it is hard to say.” His tone grew wistful. “But there is not a day that passes where I do not miss my father or wish I had somehow been able to change the outcome of the accident, maybe stopped him from getting in the carriage altogether.” After a moment, he smiled. “Mother Penny and my siblings, however, I miss not being able to share this experience with them.”
He moulded the back of her neck in the gentle cushion of his palm. “I believe they would have enjoyed meeting you. Especially Patricia. She is rather fed up with the way men are allowed to dictate so much in the world. I think she would have liked knowing that in two hundred years’ time that would no longer be the case.”
“I would have liked meeting them too. Especially Patricia,” Rayna echoed. And she meant it. She meant it with everything in her.
His irises glittered pale and bright before he laid a heavy kiss on her forehead. “What about you, my darling? What other mischief did you get up to with George and Benedict?”
“Too much to tell you all in one night, but you’ve heard a lot of the stories from them already.”
“I would like to hear them from you.”
