No Filter, page 21
Josh hasn’t come yet.
The thought pierced through his orgasm-focused ramblings. As a top, he was responsible for Josh's pleasure, otherwise he would be as big an asshole as Duncan had been.
Why hadn’t Josh come yet? He’d been fucking him as hard and deep as he could, and Josh trembled every time he hit that magic spot inside. Maybe Duncan was right all along. Maybe his dick was too small to make the guy come. Maybe it only felt nice—but nice guys finished last. Or in this case, not at all.
He bit his lip, fighting hard to hold back his own release. Fuck, he had to do something. What could he do? He did not want to let Josh down, didn’t want to fail. He reached out with one hand, grabbed Josh's dick and jerked him off, while keeping up his deep thrusts. The guy’s long shaft was rock hard and trembling in his small hand. Clearly, the problem wasn’t that he wasn’t turned on.
Suddenly, he remembered. It was so obvious. Josh was a sub. He needed to obey.
Lowering his voice as much as he could, he shouted with uncharacteristic authority: “Dammit, Joshua, let go!”
Josh howled as he exploded in Indy’s hand, painting them both with thick ropes of cum. Indy surrendered to the violent climax tearing through his own body, tears forming in his eyes as he clenched them hard. His hips jerked, his dick spewing deep inside Josh. He couldn’t hold his own weight anymore, dropped like dead weight on top of Josh, muscles spasming with the effort and release. Josh's arms came around him, and Indy found a safe place for his head against Josh's chest.
It took forever for his heart rate to slow down, for his breathing to return to normal. When it did, he couldn’t hold back the embarrassing tears that were coming. He shattered into a million pieces, crying hot tears for no apparent reason at all.
All that time, Josh held him, a strong hand on the top of his head, never pushing or holding too tight, the other hand on his lower back. He mumbled soft, sweet words that twined around Indy’s heart like beautiful gift wraps, each word a present for his starving soul.
Finally, he started making sense of his surroundings again.
“You did so good, Indy, I’m so proud of you,” Josh was saying, his hand making small comforting circular rubbing motions on Indy’s lower back.
“I’m sorry,” he managed after three hoarse, failed attempts.
“Sorry for what, making me come?”
“For crying. Again.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m honored that you trust me enough to share your tears with me.”
Indy bit his lip. Josh's words rang true. He hadn’t cried in such a long time, not until he’d met Noah and Josh. And as much as it frustrated him to be so emotional all the damn time, it was because of their trust.
“I did make you come, didn’t I?” he said, allowing pride to brighten his voice.
“Damn right you did. You totally ripped off Noah’s trick, by the way.”
Indy chuckled. “I can’t quite pull his tone off, but it came close enough.”
“Yes, you little bossy top, it certainly…came.”
They cuddled for a long time, not saying much and not caring about the mess they had made of themselves and the sheets. Finally, they dragged themselves out of bed to clean up.
“Indy, would you be offended if I asked if we could sleep now? I’m exhausted, and I have an early therapy session tomorrow. If it’s okay with you, we could sleep in our bed? I don’t want Noah to come home to an empty bed.”
Indy sighed deeply. “I’d love that.”
When Noah pulled into the driveway, he was so tired he could barely function anymore. Shit, it hadn’t been exactly safe to drive. He rolled the car into the garage and closed it behind him. At least the lights upstairs were out. It looked like Josh had taken his advice and had bunked with Indy. It would help Josh in his journey to not depend on Noah alone. And it would be good for Indy to get comfortable being touched again, with intimacy. As much as he respected Indy’s issues, Noah hoped he’d find a way through them, because he longed for more intimacy between them.
Yawning, he made his way inside. It was different, coming home to an empty house. Well, not empty but Josh was always waiting for him when he got back. Funny how much he’d gotten used to that.
He switched off the few lights Josh had left on downstairs as he made his way upstairs. Where would they be, Indy’s bed or theirs? His body tightened at the idea of them sleeping in his bed. Their bed. Much to his surprise, both bedroom doors were open. His breath about stopped when he stepped inside his room.
They were sleeping, all right, Josh on his back and Indy on his stomach, almost on top of Josh. Indy’s head was resting on Josh's shoulder, his arms around Josh's waist, his legs on either side of Josh's right leg…and Indy’s perfect, round butt was sticking high in the air, a sheet precariously draped over his waist. It was the single most beautiful sight Noah had ever seen: his two men together, sleeping. Naked.
Wait, naked? He’d rarely seen Indy’s naked back, the man always self-conscious of the scars. Was he wearing underwear under those sheets? Sure didn’t look like it. Josh slept in the buff but Indy didn’t, and there was no way Josh would’ve done it if Indy had been uncomfortable. But why would he have stripped?
Unless… They had sex. There was no other explanation for them being naked and so at ease with each other’s bodies. Had Josh…? No, Indy wouldn’t let Josh fuck him, no way. Not when he knew how much Noah wanted him.
Something had happened. He swallowed. Fuck knew he had no right to be jealous, no matter who had done what with whom. Josh wasn’t his, and Noah had no right to Indy. It would be hypocritical of him to object to Josh and Indy doing anything when he himself was still fucking Josh.
And yet.
If Josh had taken… No, he couldn’t go there, couldn’t do this. You have no right. Not after how he had treated Josh. Fuck, ever since he’d met Indy he’d realized how little he had given Josh. He’d tried, maybe, but all the affection Josh had wanted to show him in the tiniest gestures, Noah had always held him back. And he hadn’t fucking understood until Indy. Until he wanted nothing else than to touch that sweet man, kiss him, hold him, all fucking day long. He ached for him, longed for him deep within his body and soul. If what Josh felt for Noah was even a fraction of that, he’d been a fucking cruel bastard to deny him the opportunity to express it.
Even if, and his stomach soured at the thought, even if Josh had been able to express that now with Indy, even if Indy had given him what he hadn’t wanted Noah to have yet, Noah would have to suck it up. Karma was a bitch, wasn’t it?
He switched the hallway light off, waited till his eyes had adjusted to the dark and closed the door. He’d have to be grateful to be invited here tonight. And he was. They hadn’t excluded him, had invited him in. It had to be enough.
He lowered himself on the reading chair in the corner of the room and removed his shoes, his socks. With effort, he took off his scrubs, his stump burning and throbbing as he unhooked his prosthetic leg. Fuck, he was getting tired of this pain. The massage oil he rubbed all over his legs soothed his stump, but it still stung.
Wearing only his boxers, Noah leaned back in the chair and watched them sleep. He had to swallow at the images popping up in his head. He clenched his teeth, his jaw aching from the force. Why had Indy chosen Josh when he’d known how much Noah wanted him? Watching Indy lie on top of Josh made Noah want to drag his best friend’s ass out of that bed and take his place.
Indy was his.
He gasped when the realization hit him. It was Josh he envied, not Indy. He did not want to kick Indy out and take his place in Josh's arms; he wanted to be the one to hold Indy and love him.
Wait. Love him?
Where had that come from? Fuck, he was too tired to deal with all of this.
He hesitated for a second, debating sleeping by himself in Indy’s room—then rejected it. Fuck it. They chose to sleep here, meaning they’d known he’d come back at some point and see them. That calmed his jealousy somewhat. They hadn’t even tried to keep it a secret from him; it was all in the open. They could deal with this. He could handle this. After he’d gotten some sleep. Which was not happening with this burning, aching leg…and a throbbing cock. It was hard as steel, responding to the images of Josh and Indy fucking that he’d conjured up in his mind.
Well, too bad. He wasn’t going to wake up either of them for a pity fuck right now. Indy wasn’t ready, and he couldn’t wake Josh for a booty call, especially not since he’d already been busy with Indy.
Not helping, Noah chastised himself as his cock jumped up. Not helping at all.
Josh and Indy were parked on Josh's side of the king-size bed, which meant there was more than enough room for him. He dragged down his boxers, told his cock to forget it, and lowered himself on the bed as quietly as possible. He lifted his stump to place it in a comfortable position and grunted despite his efforts to be quiet. Fuck, it hurt so damn much.
He hated this stupid stump, hated his missing leg, hated his job that made him so worn out, hated his gut that was all tied up in knots over Indy and Josh and sex and whether he was gay. Dammit, he hated it all.
“Noah?” Josh stirred and opened his eyes. He turned his head to look at Noah and smiled softly.
“Go back to sleep. It’s okay,” Noah said, keeping his voice low.
“You’re not okay.” He should have known Josh would pick up on his pain. He always did, tuned in as they were to each other. “You’re in pain.”
He ground his teeth as he nodded. “Stayed longer to treat O’Connor. He was hit by concrete fragments, had dozens of small wounds.”
“Is Connor okay?”
The concern in Josh's voice put Noah over the edge, and he dragged himself to sit up. “Really? You wanna talk about your precious Connor right now? While you’re lying in bed, naked, having fucked the man I want? Fuck you, Josh!”
“He’s not my Connor. I’ve met the guy twice, for fuck’s sake. You’re being ridiculous. And keep it down or you’ll wake Indy,” Josh said.
“Noah.” Indy’s soft voice sounded happy.
“Yeah.” He didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? Had Indy heard his crude accusal?
The bed moved as Indy rolled off Josh and crawled close to Noah. He let out a sigh of contentment as he lowered his head on Noah’s shoulder and wrapped his small arm around Noah’s chest. “I’m glad you’re home.” His voice was sleepy and fucking adorable.
Noah stayed still, not trusting himself to touch Indy right now. Not when he was feeling this powerful urge to show him whom he belonged to. “So am I.”
His voice was so much colder and rougher than Indy deserved. Fuck, he was going to ruin it all.
“Do you want me to move?”
Insecurity laced Indy’s voice, and Noah cursed himself.
“He’s angry because he thinks you let me fuck you,” Josh said matter-of-factly.
“Well, did you?” Noah couldn’t help himself. He had to know. “Because I come home to find you two naked and way too comfortable with each other, so tell me the truth. What the fuck happened?”
Indy gasped and untangled himself from Noah, leaving him cold and feeling alone. God, he was such a bastard. What the hell was he doing?
Josh put a calming hand on Indy’s arm. “Remember that anger issue I mentioned? This is it. He lashes out when he’s in pain. It’s not personal.”
Indy swallowed as he sent Noah a pained look. “It sure as hell feels personal.”
“He’s worked a sixteen-hour shift, something his body and his mind can’t handle. He’s dead tired, he’s in pain, and I don’t think finding us in bed helped.”
“I can hear you!” Noah shouted, slamming a fist on the covers. “Stop fucking talking about me as if I’m not in the room!”
“Indy,” Josh's voice was ice cold, “You need to consider if you can handle this. Noah, back the fuck off. You’re scaring him.”
Noah buried his face in his hands. He was being a total asshole, but he’d lost the grip on his self-control. He was too tired, too angry, too jealous, and too fucking horny.
“What are you going to do?” Indy asked Josh. The concern in Indy’s voice stabbed Noah through the heart. Fuck, he didn’t deserve him. Neither of them. No wonder Indy chose Josh over you. Josh can give him the sweetness he needs instead of all this pain and anger.
“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to let him fuck me till he’s too worn out to do anything else but sleep.”
Noah’s body froze, the anger still buzzing through his veins. What did Josh say? Surely he’d misunderstood.
“He could hurt you.”
Indy voiced his own fears, and Noah didn’t even blame him for saying it. He had the physical power to break Josh in half. Why would Josh even offer this?
“Remember what I told you? Noah would never hurt me…or you. You have no idea how tight a grip he has on himself. It’s why he’s in so much pain, because he doesn’t know how to let it out. So I’ll let him fuck me. It’s how I take care of him.”
“Josh…” Noah said, his voice faltering.
“Shut up,” Josh said. “He needs to understand this.”
Noah let himself fall back on the bed, turning on his side to watch them both.
“I told you, I like it rough. Noah is about to fuck me senseless, and where that may scare others, the idea makes me so fucking hard that I’m trembling.”
Josh reached out to grab Indy’s hand and put it on his shaft. Noah inhaled sharply at the sight, his cock quivering.
“You’re hard as steel,” Indy said with amazement.
“I crave his power and the raw anger he’s bringing. I love being the bottom, the caretaker, the soft and weaker one. It completely turns me on.”
“I understand,” Indy whispered. He let go of Josh's cock, then leaned toward him and kissed him tenderly. “Go to Noah, take care of him. He needs you.”
“He needs to leave,” Noah snapped. “I don’t want him to see this.”
“It’s Indy’s choice,” Josh said with the fuck-off tone Noah recognized from using it himself way too often.
“Josh, I’m on the edge. I’m so tired, and the pain is so fucking bad. I’m afraid I’ll go too far, hurt you, scare him.”
“I know, but if you want him to trust you, you must allow him to see this part of you. Let out the pain, Noah. I can take it, and Indy’s a hell of a lot stronger than he looks.”
“I want to stay,” Indy said. He rolled over to the other side of Josh, wrapped the sheet around his body, and leaned back against the headboard on the far edge of the bed.
Noah clenched his fists. “I don’t have it in me to be gentle,” he gave a last warning.
Josh shot Indy a look over his shoulder, then smiled that slow, sexy smile at Noah. “Who says I want you to?”
Noah held on to the last shreds of his control. “Lube me,” he told Josh.
Josh grabbed the lube from the night table. Noah groaned as Josh spread a generous amount of lube on his cock. Somehow, Josh seemed to grasp that this was not the time for foreplay, or games, or even a blow job. He needed it to get out of his system, this sizzling anger burning so hot and close to the surface.
Josh piled two pillows on top of each other, lowered himself on his stomach on top of them and pushed his ass back, opening his hole wide for the taking. It was still stretched, probably from Indy taking him. Good. Noah didn’t wait a second, but dropped his weight on top of Josh, grabbed his hips and entered him in one desperate thrust.
“Oh!” Josh groaned, pushing his ass back even farther to accommodate Noah.
Noah shoved his arms under Josh's chest, gripping his shoulders in a tight hold, then moved him downward on his cock, while slamming upward at the same time. Josh's tight ass engulfed him, and the sweet friction was too much.
His vision went red, and he plunged in, again and again and again. He felt nothing but his cock, wanted nothing but to thrust it in deeper and deeper, so hard and so deep he would stop feeling at all. He kept drilling, didn’t stop when Josh came with a loud moan, not even when he came so hard himself it made him dizzy.
With the waves of his release crashing through him, he kept up the feral rhythm, his cock still hard as hell, burying it deeper in Josh's warm cavern than it had ever been before. When his muscles gave out, he grunted in frustration. Letting go of Josh for a second, he lifted his stump in the right position, then sat up, dragging Josh with him. He leaned back against the headboard and jammed a pillow behind his back for support. He didn’t wait for Josh to adjust, merely lifted him up, his biceps and chest bulging, and sat his lover down on his cock, facing away from him.
“Ride me,” he commanded with a low and broken voice, lifting Josh's hips and shoving them down again.
Josh rose, slammed down, taking him hard and fast and deep. They were completely in sync. No dirty talk or sweet whispers, the only sounds slapping and grunting and moaning and ragged breaths. Noah’s heart was racing, his body hot and sweaty, his need blinding him. His vision blurred, his balls throbbed and wrenched flush against his body. His muscles clenched and strained as he lifted his hips and thrust with desperation.
Noah’s fingers dug into Josh's hips, lifting him and jamming him down on his deep thrusts. When Noah came again, his orgasm was so hard it almost knocked him out. He cried out in a fierce wail. He held on to Josh, putting his head on Josh's shoulder, their bodies pressed together as he shuddered and shook with the force.
And then he broke. He hadn’t cried when his mother died, leaving him with his asshole of a father. He hadn’t cried when he had lost friends to roadside bombs and attacks. He hadn’t cried when he’d discovered what had happened to Josh. He hadn’t even cried when he lost his leg or when he’d been in the hospital, desperate with pain. But he cried now, big sobs that tore through his body.
