Alpha's Obedience, page 16
“Close the door, babyface. Let’s get some sleep.”
As always, Lev obeyed, and when he’d shut the door, bringing darkness back to the room, he climbed over Naran and turned onto his side, his face toward Naran. Naran wrapped his arm around him and Lev snuggled close to him like he’d done so many times before, his head on Naran’s shoulder, and his arm draped around his waist.
Lev let out a sigh filled with longing and pain that stabbed Naran through his heart. “Thank you for holding me…” Lev whispered.
How was he supposed to hold it together when Lev said something like that? “Hate me again tomorrow, babyface. Just sleep for now, my boy.” He kissed his head, barely able to speak anymore because of the wave of emotions inside him. “My sweet boy. I missed you. I missed you so fucking much.”
Lev let out another deep sigh that seemed to originate in his soul. “I missed you too…Boss.”
23
When Sivney walked out of his room that morning after feeding his daughter and putting her back in her crib, he was surprised to find Naran's door open.
"Naran?" he asked, walking in.
What the hell? The bed was empty. How was that possible? His heart rate jumped. Had someone gotten to him? The organization he'd been talking about, the guy who had held him captive? Sivney's blood ran cold. There was no other explanation because Naran never left his room. Hell, he couldn't, not on his own.
He had to wake Lev. His door was still closed, meaning he was still asleep, but Sivney didn't care if he'd gotten to bed only hours before. They needed to know where Naran was, right fucking now. Still, he opened the door softly because there was no need to scare the shit out of Lev.
As soon as he saw them, he stopped in his tracks. They were still asleep, Naran on his back and Lev cradled in his arms, his right arm draped over Naran's stomach. Something stirred in Sivney's belly. This was the intimate position of two people who knew each other very well. If he hadn't known it before, this would've told him everything about their history.
This was what he'd wanted, what he had been hoping for by forcing the two of them together. But now that he saw them, it made him uneasy. He had expected to feel joy seeing them together, to be happy for them, but instead, something gnawed at him inside. But why? He'd known they belonged together, so why was he having these mixed feelings?
He leaned against the doorway, unable to peel his eyes away. They looked so peaceful, those two. What a difference from their usual animosity, though Sivney had always been sure there wasn't as much hate between them as they pretended.
Maybe it was because he'd grown used to having both of them around? He'd never confront Naran with it, because the man would deny it till kingdom come and revert to his old patterns, but the man had softened. Even before Abigail had been born, but especially since then. The way he held that little girl, the tender way he took care of her had made Sivney feel all warm and gooey inside.
He'd never hesitated in trusting his daughter to Naran's care. Somehow, deep inside, he knew he could trust him. Naran would do anything to keep his daughter safe, Sivney had no doubt. Underneath that gruff, prickly exterior hid a soft, gentle heart.
Lev had been an equally big revelation. The sexy alpha—because really, you couldn't deny how fucking hot the guy was and also, damn, that dick of his was perfect—had shown himself to be a homebody. He’d not only turned out to be great with Abigail—and there was a sexy sight, the strapping alpha with that tiny baby on his chest—but he’d also surprised Sivney with some delicious meals he had cooked. He hadn't complained about pitching in either, helping clean stuff and assisting Naran and showering, which had been the biggest surprise. Sivney hadn't said anything, but he'd been elated that his plan was working.
Until now. He shook his head, unable to figure out why he was uneasy seeing them. No, it wasn't even uneasy. It was… He couldn't seem to label it until an image jumped into his head. An image of him on the bed with them. But that didn't make sense at all. He didn't belong with them. They needed each other, not him.
Maybe he'd been more lonely than he had realized. After William had broken up with him and his parents had kicked him out, he'd been determined never to let anyone close again. Friendship, that was fine, but no romantic entanglements ever again. He'd have his baby, and the two of them would build a life together.
And he hadn't missed it. Granted, he'd been too busy surviving to worry about anything else, and fuck knew romance and sex had been the last things on his mind. Apparently, that had changed without him realizing it. Yeah, that had to be it. It didn't have anything to do with Naran and Lev, but it was his mind's—or maybe his body's—way of telling him he'd been wrong about not wanting someone in his life.
With one last look at the two of them, he closed the door behind him, pushing down the sadness in his heart. It had been fun, bringing the two of them together, but it was time to move on. He put Abigail in the sling Vieno had given him, packed up her stuff into a diaper bag, and headed for Jawon's House. He couldn't stay here anymore, not when it made him this sad.
Of course, post pregnancy hormones also played a role, he mused as he stepped outside, because he'd never been the type to get hung up over a guy. When William had ended things, he'd been more pissed than heartbroken. In hindsight, that spoke volumes about his feelings for the guy, but come on, he had to give himself a break there. His parents had arranged that relationship years before, since William's parents were their best friends, and everyone had agreed they'd be perfect together. Look how that had turned out. Asshole.
He stepped into Jawon's House feeling better after assuring himself it was just a combination of hormones and leftover feelings from the months before. Nothing to worry about, clearly.
When he turned the corner, entering the hallway that led to the big kitchen, he came to a sudden stop. Palani was standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall with one hand, his head bowed. What a strange place to take a break, Sivney thought, and then he saw the slight tremble in Palani's hand, which rested against the wall.
"Are you okay?" he asked, stepping closer.
Palani slowly lifted his head, then blinked a few times before his eyes focused on Sivney. "Yeah. I got dizzy for a second."
Sivney took another good look at the beta. He seemed a little out of it. "You look tired."
Palani smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. "So people keep telling me."
"Having trouble sleeping?"
"Not really. More having trouble sleeping enough. In case you missed it, it's quite a job, running this place."
The last statement was uncharacteristically sharp, and Sivney frowned. "Have you eaten already? Maybe your blood sugar levels are running low."
Palani let go of the wall, standing still for a few moments as if to test his stability. "Look, Sivney, I appreciate the concern, but as you know, one of my mates is a doctor. We've got it covered, but thank you."
Wow, that was quite the blunt brush-off, even if it was packaged in words that sounded friendly. "All right," Sivney said. "I'll back off. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about moving back to my omega house."
"You have to find men willing to help you do that. We just moved all your stuff because you wanted to share a house with Naran and Lev, so I'm not wasting any time moving you back already. As we concluded, I have more than enough on my plate, so I have to focus on the important stuff. No offense, but this doesn't rank high on my list of priorities."
Palani said it all with a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes, and there was a coldness in his tone Sivney had never heard before. The beta nodded at him before walking out, and Sivney stared at his back until he disappeared. That had been odd. Palani had always been friendly toward him, and from what he'd been told, he wasn't known to be this snappy with people. At least, not with pack members. Sivney had heard tales about him confronting others to get to the truth, and apparently, that was a sight to behold. So why had he been so curt with him?
Then he shrugged. Maybe there was something in the air, and they both had an off day. It happened. Something about the moon, maybe. If what he'd heard was true, the pack might be susceptible to changes in the moon, considering they were wolf shifters. And on that note, which still blew his mind, he made his way to the kitchen.
He found the usual four omegas in the kitchen: Gia, Vieno, Ruari, and Sven. The latter was sitting at the table, his hands folded around his round belly. In the corner stood a playpen where both Jax, Ruari’s son, and Hakon, Vieno’s son, were happily blowing bubbles and making giggle noises as they lay on their back, playing with a mobile above their heads.
“Hey, Sivney,” Sven greeted him friendly.
Everyone turned around and hurried toward him to peek at a sleeping Abigail. “She’s so beautiful,” Ruari sighed. “I’d forgotten how tiny newborns are. If you compare her to Jax, he’s a giant.”
Sivney looked at Jax again, then grinned. “Let’s be grateful they are, because you wouldn’t want to give birth to that.”
That had them all looking horrified before they burst out laughing. Still smiling, Sivney found a spot at the table. “How are you feeling?” he asked Sven.
“Very pregnant,” Sven said. “Incredibly tired. But Enar says my body is not showing signs of early delivery, so I guess I’ll have to ride it out all the way.”
“How are you?” Vieno asked. “You seem fully recovered after only eight days.”
Sivney shrugged. “I’ve always recovered quickly from illnesses. I hate being sick. But yeah, I feel fine. I mean, dead tired what with all the night feedings, but fine other than that.”
“I was a single dad when Jax was born, so I know how exhausting it can be,” Ruari said. “But I’m sure Naran and Lev are a great help, right?”
Was it Sivney’s imagination, or had everyone just stopped doing what they were doing and were listening intently? “Erm, yeah, sure,” he said hesitantly.
“I always love seeing those big alphas with a baby,” Ruari said, his voice dreamy. “Every time Bray holds Jax against his chest, I melt.”
“Dude, you melt when he walks into a room,” Gia teased him. “You got a permanent case of those hearts in your eyes, like cartoon characters have.”
“Like you’re any different! Every time I see you with Sean and Felix, you’re all swoony and starry-eyed,” Ruari said.
Gia grinned. “We’re still in that honeymoon phase, so that’s different.”
“Honeymoon phase?” Sivney asked. “Are you married?"
Gia shook his head. “No, I meant metaphorically. We haven’t been together that long, so…”
“I miss those early days,” Vieno said. “We would have sex all the freaking time.”
That made everyone laugh. “You guys still have sex all the time. I walked in on you and Enar yesterday!” Ruari said.
Vieno shrugged. “That was just our daily fuck. But Lidon and Palani have both been so busy since York was killed and now with the refugees that they barely have time.”
It was quiet for a few seconds, maybe because the others felt the same way Sivney did, as if Vieno was sharing something that bothered him.
“Have you tried talking to them?” Gia asked. “That’s something we have to continue working on. Sean is not a talker, but Felix and I need words, so we have to keep reminding him.”
“Same. I mean, you’ve all met Bray, so yeah, we’re constantly working on getting him to open up with us,” Ruari said.
It didn’t comfort Vieno, who seemed close to tears. “Palani snapped at me earlier. He never does that. He’s too busy with everything. He needs a serious break.”
“Talk to Lidon,” Sven said quietly. “You’ve made that mistake before where you didn’t tell him you needed him and things got bad. You know you two need each other.”
Sivney frowned. What was Sven talking about? He’d gathered that out of everyone here, Sven had known Vieno the longest, since he’d arrived only weeks after Vieno had moved into the ranch himself. He made a mental note to ask someone about that later.
Vieno let out a sad sigh, his eyes teary now. “I know. I’m just… I’m scared. It feels like Palani is pulling away, like he’s growing tired of me.”
“I can ask Kean to check in on him,” Ruari said softly. “If anyone can get it out of him, it’s Kean.”
Vieno nodded with a grateful look. “Would you, please?”
Ruari hugged him. “Absolutely. I’ll ask him tonight, okay?”
Sivney decided that his issues with Naran and Lev could wait another day. They seemed trivial after what Vieno had shared. And that Palani had not only been blunt with him was only a small consolation.
24
Lev woke up feeling more refreshed than he had in a long time. He hadn't felt this safe and relaxed in… His eyes flew open. Oh crap. What had he done?
Naran was still asleep, his chest rising and dipping with slow, deep breaths. Lev didn't dare to move from his position on Naran's shoulder, his right hand splayed possessively across the man's abdomen. He'd slept like that so many nights, never feeling more cherished than when he was in Naran's arms.
Now what? He couldn't fault himself for what had happened. First of all, he hadn't invited Naran into his room. The man must've heard him having a nightmare and had checked in on him, so Naran had taken the first step, not Lev. Somehow, that made Lev feel better.
He had, on the other hand, invited him into his bed. But he’d made it clear it was a one-time thing. He'd even told him he still hated him, hadn't he? Well, something along those lines anyway, because the details were hazy.
God, that dream had been awful. It had been a variation of the nightmare he so often had, having to listen to Naran being tortured and not doing anything about it. Sometimes, it was because he was bound himself, and those were the better ones because in his dreams he’d fight against his own imprisonment and at least try to do something.
Far worse were the ones like he had last night, where all he could do was listen and keep debating with himself whether he should do something. Oh, he'd beg and beg, but only in his dreams. That had never happened in reality, which was probably why he kept dreaming about it. Lev knew he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but even he could work that out.
So he had snuggled up with Naran. Big fucking deal. He was an adult. He could handle this. All he had to do was wait till Naran woke up, then direct him back to his own room. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Aside from the tiny little detail that he seemed to be unable to say no to Naran.
He'd called him Boss again. And Naran had called him babyface. That memory shouldn't make him feel all warm inside, but it did. It was what Naran had called him from the start because he'd said Lev looked so young and innocent. He had been, he reckoned. That, along with everything else, had changed.
Him calling Naran Boss had started out as a joke because they had both discovered Lev loved following orders and Naran loved handing them out. They had played with that, and it had resulted in some of their hottest sex. Pretty soon, it had become Lev's favorite word for Naran, an implicit embracing of the dynamic between them.
That dynamic, of course, was the whole reason why he found it so hard to say no to Naran. It was why he had rejected the idea of talking to Naran, back when he wanted to warn Sivney about the man. He'd known that once faced with Naran, he stood no chance of holding his ground. It was an unnerving effect the man had on him, and Lev had spent long hours since he'd discovered Naran's betrayal wondering what was wrong with him that he wanted to please him so much.
The most obvious reason was that Naran had become a sort of father figure for him and that he wanted to please him since he'd never been able to please his real dad. Or his brothers. But that seemed too easy, so he figured he must've missed something. What did he know about psychology anyway? He couldn't even spell it correctly every time he tried to write it.
No, there had to be another reason. Some weird thing inside him that had gone wrong. Maybe his brain hadn't developed fully? It could explain why he always had verbal diarrhea. He let out a soft sigh. Being an alpha seemed so easy for others, but it was a constant struggle for him.
He stopped in his thoughts. Wait. What if he wasn't an alpha? What if he had the same thing Enar had, where he looked like an alpha but he was a beta on the inside? If it was possible for Enar, why not for him?
He tasted it on his tongue, the word beta. Did that fit him better than being an alpha? He thought of Kean and Palani, two betas who were strong and not submissive. Were they exceptions? There had to be a way for him to find out. Was there, like, a test or something he could take?
A far more pressing problem was the whole situation of having Naran in his bed. How could he avoid a confrontation with him once he woke up? Then the solution came to him, and it was so simple that he could've smacked himself. If he wanted to prevent facing Naran, all he had to do was make sure that he was gone by the time the man woke up.
Naran was usually a light sleeper, but he seemed deep under right now. Lev peeled Naran's arm off his shoulder and placed it flat on the bed, then rolled away, out of his safe spot. He sat up, waiting with his breath held in to see if Naran woke up, but the man's breathing pattern didn't change.
Two minutes later, Lev was out the door, dressed and everything. He grabbed a quick bar from the kitchen, his go-to food when he was hungry and didn't feel like cooking, then headed straight for the clinic. There was only one man who could answer his questions and that was Enar himself.
"Hey, Lev," Lucan greeted him when he entered the clinic. He quickly came from behind his desk, stepping in front of Lev and holding up a hand. "I hate to be rude, but you can't walk into the clinic. This is omega territory. We have several omegas here right now, which makes it a dangerous place for an unmated alpha.”
