Alpha's Obedience, page 15
But this was different. There was no way in hell he would allow Naran to hear him, and the idea that Sivney would know what he was up to was even worse. But now it had been four days of not jacking off. Four days of spending too much time with Naran, who had always been able to get him hard with one look and now he had to help him shower, for fuck’s sake. He’d seen that big cock every day, had ended up with the mother of all hard-ons every time, and there was nothing he could do about it.
It had also been four days of being in the same house as an omega. He felt like a major perv because omegas who’d just given birth shouldn’t look so sexy, but seeing Sivney with Abigail did something to him. It made his stomach do funny swirls and his heart go all soft, and this strange desire would come over him to sit next to Sivney and cuddle. Which made zero sense at all and confused him almost as much as his reaction to Naran. Clearly, something was wrong with him. Then again, he’d already known that for a while.
He had to do something about his problem, though, because he couldn’t keep walking around like this all the time. It was not only getting painful but also embarrassing. It was one thing to get hard while showering Naran, as Naran always had an erection as well. But if Sivney caught him… Lev blushed just thinking about it.
Sivney was different. Naran was hard and dominant and all male, but Sivney was… He was sweet and caring and bossy at the same time, but Lev didn’t mind so much because he was so nice about it that Lev wanted to please him. He wanted Sivney to like him, and that wouldn’t happen if he caught Lev in a compromising position.
But he’d heard Sivney go for a stroll with Abigail in the sling, and he’d checked to make sure Naran was fast asleep—he’d left his door open so Lev had been able to see him—so the coast was clear. Finally. He left his door slightly ajar so he could hear someone walking in. And then he plopped down onto his bed, yanked down his pants, and circled his hand around his dick. God, he was so hard.
He closed his eyes, and the images came instantly. Him on his knees in front of Naran, sucking off that alpha cock. How he loved giving head, Naran stuffing him full with his cock, fucking his mouth, using him until he was a mess with drool and snot and teary eyes and yet so damn content. Then the picture changed, and suddenly he was on his knees in front of Sivney, the omega smiling at him, petting his head, telling him how pleased he was with him.
His hand moved faster, his balls tingling as they drew up so tight it hurt. He clenched his eyes shut, his back arching as his body tensed, and his ears buzzing with anticipation. Oh, he was so close… He smacked his lips, then surrendered to his body’s needs, and jerked as he released, shooting rope after rope after rope of cum onto his hand, his chest, and even hitting his own face. The feeling was so intense that he couldn’t hold back the low moan that flew from his lips.
Afterward, he couldn’t explain why he hadn’t heard him return because the front door always creaked, and yet he hadn’t noticed a damn thing until Sivney walked into his room. “Lev, are you okay? I heard you… Oh.”
Lev froze as his eyes flew open, his hand still wrapped around his cock, a drop of cum dripping down from his chin onto his chest. His brain refused to believe what was happening. This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be true that Sivney was standing there in his room, seeing him with his dick hanging out, seconds after he’d come. No. This could not be happening.
“Oops,” Sivney said. “Sorry. Next time, you may want to hang a sock on your door or something so I don’t barge in. Leaving now. Bye!”
Sivney pulled the door shut behind him and Lev pinched his eyes closed all over again. Maybe this had been a dream. Maybe if he opened his eyes, he wouldn’t be in this position. But of course, that was an illusion. This was reality. Sivney had walked in on him in what couldn’t even be called a compromising position anymore. It went far beyond that.
Lev’s hand dropped, letting go of his dick, which had gone soft now. His eyes filled with tears. Why did shit like that keep happening to him? Why could he never catch a break? Just when he thought he might have a chance with Sivney after all…
God, he couldn’t face him. Not that Sivney would want to see him after that. Though he hadn’t seemed angry, had he? In fact, he’d sounded more…amused. With a deep sigh, Lev pushed himself off the bed, careful not to smear the drying cum anywhere. He needed a shower first, which would give him time to come up with a plan how to leave the house without Sivney seeing him. Maybe he could climb through a window?
But when he’d showered and gotten dressed and super carefully opened his door after listening for at least a minute to confirm everything was quiet, Sivney stood in the hallway, waiting for him. “I figured you’d try to sneak out,” he said softly. “I realized I’d forgotten to bring a burp cloth, and I didn’t want her to drool all over yet another shirt. Then when I came back, I heard you groan, and I thought something was wrong, so I walked in.”
Lev’s first impulse was to flee right back into his room, but he couldn’t do that, now could he? That was even more childish than trying to sneak out. If he wanted to be a real alpha, he had to learn to face his problems head on.
“I didn’t think you wanted to see me after that,” he said, raising his chin a little.
“Oh, Lev, why would you think that?”
He bit his lip. “Because you caught me with my pants down?”
Sivney chortled, then held his hand in front of his mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at you, but that was…” He giggled again. “Oh my god, that was a classic pun.”
When he kept laughing, Lev couldn’t keep his face straight and smiled. Sivney’s laughs were infectious, and you couldn’t not laugh.
“I really didn’t mean to make fun of you,” Sivney said when he’d gotten himself under control again.
“I know.”
“I can see you’re embarrassed about the whole thing, but you shouldn’t be. It’s no biggie.”
Lev couldn’t explain why, since he usually couldn’t function in a stressed situation like this, but his mind came up with the best reaction ever, and he blurted it out. “You think seven inches is no biggie?”
Sivney’s mouth dropped open, and then he laughed. Not a mere giggle, no, he full out laughed, his whole body shaking with it to the point where Lev was afraid he’d wake up Abigail. Or Naran. “Oh my god, Lev… You’re killing me!”
All Lev could do was grin because making Sivney laugh like that? Best feeling in the world.
“What’s so funny?” Naran called out, and Lev froze. “Care to share the joy?”
Sivney’s face sobered, even as Lev’s breath caught in his lungs. If Sivney told Naran… But the omega put a soft hand on his arm. “No worries. Your secret is safe with me.” Then he winked at Lev and called out at Naran, “Sorry, private joke!”
Lev let out the breath he’d been holding, his muscles relaxing again. Sivney rose on his toes and pressed a kiss on Lev’s cheek. “Thank you for making me laugh. I needed that today.”
Minutes after he was gone, Lev still stood in the hallway, his hand cupping the cheek Sivney had kissed. Maybe he had a chance with Sivney after all.
22
They’d settled into a rhythm, and no one was more surprised about that than Naran. Even more, he discovered he enjoyed having people around. He’d expected to resent Sivney’s presence and especially the baby’s, let alone Lev’s, but a week in, he loved knowing that he wasn’t alone. Spending time with Sivney and Abigail was the highlight of his day.
The omega was recovering quickly from giving birth, which didn’t surprise Naran one bit. As stubborn and strong as Sivney was, he’d expected nothing less. But Sivney trusting him to take care of Abigail, that was a responsibility that he hadn’t seen coming. He’d explained that he couldn’t do anything if something went wrong, but Sivney had placed her crib right next to his bed and had told him to charge his phone and program in everyone’s number—which he had.
So he did one feeding a day, and whenever Sivney was showering or taking a bath or going for a bit of a walk outside to get his strength back, as he called it, Naran spent his time looking at a little baby, monitoring her every breath and little hiccup for any sign something was off.
Sometimes, Sivney told him to take his shirt off and place Abigail on his naked chest. At first, he’d refused as it seemed something too intimate, something that should be her daddy’s privilege, but Sivney had insisted, saying she needed all the warmth and love she could get. Since Naran had long ago learned it was useless to resist when the omega wanted something, it was easier to give in, and so he’d spent hours with a little baby sleeping on his chest. It was magical.
Then there was Lev. He’d shown up every day to help Naran shower, though he hadn’t asked him to. When Naran had asked Sivney about it, he’d insisted it wasn’t his doing either. Naran wasn’t certain what to think, but he had said nothing to Lev other than, “Thank you.” Lev had merely nodded and hadn’t spoken a word every time except to ask Naran what to do or what he needed help with. Even when they shared a meal, Lev didn’t talk to him directly.
But he watched Naran’s every move, always studying him with quiet eyes. Was there truth to what Sivney had said? If so, Lev would have to take the initiative, because until he said something, Naran would keep his distance.
Not everything was perfect. There was the constant pain in his legs, his struggle to do anything. He’d left his bed more, using his wheelchair to join Sivney and Lev for meals. And he’d started weight lifting, using his heavy paperback books to strengthen his biceps again. His muscles had killed him after the first day, but he’d continued doing it, determined to do at least that. He hadn’t told Sivney or Lev because he didn’t want them to know in case he couldn’t keep it up. But he was trying, and that made him feel a little better.
His biggest struggle were the nights. He woke up every night from a nightmare. The plus side was that hearing Abigail cry seemed to help a little as he felt more connected to someone else. It was easier to fall back asleep with Sivney’s soft voice drifting through the wall as he talked to his daughter.
That night, he woke up at two in the morning. At first he thought he’d had another nightmare, but his heart rate was too calm for that, and he couldn’t remember anything. Usually, if he woke up because of bad dreams, he was sweating and in the midst of terror. No, this was something else. Was it Abigail? He listened hard, but it remained quiet.
Just when he’d started to drift asleep again, he heard it again. Someone talking. It didn’t come from Sivney’s room, though, but from his other side. Lev. Did Lev have someone over? He checked the time again. No, it really was in the middle of the night, His blood ran cold. If Lev had someone in his room now, that meant…
He had to swallow down the bile that rose in his throat. He had no rights to him, none whatsoever. Lev could do whatever he wanted. In fact, Naran wanted him to move on, to be happy. Fuck knew the two of them didn’t have a future together. If they ever had, it was all lost after how Naran had betrayed him. But wanting the best for Lev and hearing it happen were two different things.
Who did he have over? It had to be a beta or an omega, right? Lev wouldn’t go for an alpha again, not after what Naran had done. But no matter how hard Naran tried to picture it, he couldn’t imagine Lev with any of the betas or omegas on the ranch. They were too soft for him, too timid. Lev needed a strong hand. That’s what he responded so beautifully to.
An alpha then after all? Rhene might work. The alpha was certainly dominant enough, though Naran wasn’t sure if he was gentle enough for Lev. Yes, he needed a strong hand, but he also needed tenderness, a soft touch. Lots of encouragement. The boy was vulnerable, fucked up by the constant criticism of his father and brothers.
No, he couldn’t see that work either. So who did he have over? It was too faint to make out. He was about to give up and go back to sleep when the sounds increased in volume. Was someone…moaning? Oh god, if he was about to listen to Lev having sex, he needed earplugs. A head set. Something. Anything but that.
He heard only the one voice though, and it sounded a lot like Lev. Was he jacking himself off? That would be a weird time, but maybe he’d just come off shift? No, he’d had the day shift because he’d cooked for them, something that had made Sivney practically worship at his feet. Lev was a damn good cook, much better than Naran, whose culinary skills were limited to being an expert at operating the microwave.
Then Lev cried out, and Naran froze. “No, no! Please…”
His voice was clearly audible now, and Naran’s heart rate tripled. Was Lev in danger? But why wasn’t he hearing anything else then? Then it hit him. Why didn’t he think of this before? The answer should have been so obvious, to him especially. The boy was having a nightmare. He couldn’t let him suffer alone, not when he sounded like he was experiencing real terror.
Naran flipped on the light on his nightstand. Thank fuck Sivney had parked his wheelchair close enough by the bed that he could grab it. Should he wake Sivney? Ask for his help? Maybe the omega could go over to Lev. No, that would be cruel. Sivney was already running on fumes with how little sleep he got. It would have to be Naran. But how the hell would he get himself into the wheelchair?
For the first time, he regretted having spent all those weeks in bed. God, if only he’d tried harder, had worked more on his upper body… If only he’d stopped being such a stubborn fool feeling sorry for himself, he could’ve done this.
No, he still could. He had to. Lev cried out again, and Naran’s resolve steeled inside him. Lev needed him. He turned the wheelchair, then bent over to check the brakes were on. It took everything he had to drag himself out of bed and into the chair, and by the time he’d managed, he was sweating like a mother, and the muscles in his arms trembled and spasmed from the effort.
He had to take a minute to breathe, but when Lev made another sound of terror, Naran put his hands on the wheels and pushed hard. Why hadn’t he ever bothered to learn how to maneuver the damn thing? It took him three efforts to get close enough to the door to open it without being in the way, but then he had it. It cost another five minutes to make it down the hall to Lev’s room, and by then, his muscles were shaking from exhaustion. Since Lev’s door opened inward, that was a little easier to navigate.
The light from the hall spilled into Lev’s room, illuminating him trashing in his bed. He kept crying out. “Please… Stop! You have to stop!”
Naran could hardly breathe from the pain on Lev’s face, in his voice. He rolled his wheelchair right next to him, then stretched out his trembling hand and put it on Lev’s shoulder. He debated what to say, but then the words rolled out of his mouth all by themselves. “Hey, my sweet babyface, wake up.”
When Lev didn’t respond, Naran leaned in and wrapped his hand around his neck like he’d so often done. Lev had always reacted to that gesture, that touch. Whenever he’d been anxious or restless, one strong hand in his neck had calmed him down.
“Lev…babyface, you gotta open your eyes for me. It’s just a dream. You’re okay.”
A loud moan and then Lev opened his eyes, startling when he saw Naran. For a second Naran was scared Lev would get angry with him, but then his eyes filled with tears. “I thought you were dead,” Lev whispered.
It didn’t make sense to Naran, but he figured Lev was still half in the reality of his dreams. “I’m right here, babyface.”
“I was so scared they were gonna kill you…but I didn’t dare to say anything, to do anything.”
Things clicked for Naran. “Is that what you dreamed about? That they were hurting me?”
A single tear meandered down Lev’s cheek, and his eyes were so distant that Naran wasn’t confident Lev was fully aware of the present. “I should’ve said something. I should’ve stopped them. God, your screams… You screamed and screamed, and I did nothing.”
Naran strengthened his hold on Lev’s neck. “No, babyface, you did the right thing. They would’ve killed you had you interfered.”
“Why didn’t you tell them what they wanted to know? Why not give them the names of your clients?” Lev said, his voice so distraught it cut through Naran’s soul.
He’d never intended to tell him, but maybe it was time to stop lying. “Because they weren’t asking for my clients anymore. They tried that and weren’t getting anywhere. They were asking who had provided me with info about their operations, about that building, about Melloni. They were asking about you…”
Lev jerked, and his eyes focused on Naran’s as a small gasp escaped his lips. “Naran, no… Please, tell me that’s not true.” Another tear trailed down his cheek as Naran simply nodded. “I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”
“Hush, babyface, I know that.”
“I was so angry with you…”
Naran’s smile was sad. “And you still should be. This doesn’t change what I did to you.”
He saw the battle in Lev’s eyes. Maybe Sivney had been right. Lev wanted to hate him, but there was still much left of his old feelings for Naran.
“Hating you is exhausting,” Lev said, his voice ending on a choked cry. “I’m so tired of trying to keep it all together. So tired of being angry all the time, of being scared and alone.”
Naran’s heart did a few painful beats as he watched Lev struggle. God, he wanted to hold him, wanted to take his pain away, but he wasn’t sure what to do. If he offered, would Lev reject him? Would Naran break what seemed to be a fragile peace between them?
But it was Lev who made the first move. “Can you hold me for now? Just for tonight so I can sleep and relax and get back to hating you tomorrow?”
“I can do that,” Naran said, his voice hoarse. “Will you help me onto your bed?"
Lev nodded, and Naran let go of his neck. Lev got up from the bed, bent over, and with one strong move, lifted Naran out of his chair, gently lowering him onto the bed and putting his legs in a comfortable position. When he placed the pillows as Naran would’ve done himself, he knew Lev had been watching him even more closely than he’d realized. But there would be another time to point that out.
