A Walk, a Dog, and a Second Chance, page 18
But as the evening wound down, her mother caught Lara alone in the kitchen while Ana was busy clearing plates from the table. Lara stood at the sink, rinsing a glass, when Ana’s mother approached with a dish towel.
“You know,” her mother began, her tone casual as she handed Lara the towel, “Ana seems very happy with you.”
Lara smiled, though her chest tightened at the way Ana’s mother was studying her. “That’s the goal,” she said lightly, drying her hands.
Her mother chuckled softly, but then her expression grew more serious. “I just worry about her, you know? About what this relationship could mean for her in the long run.”
Lara stiffened slightly, though she tried to keep her tone even. “Meaning?”
Her mother hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “Ana has always wanted to make a difference in her students’ lives, and she’s done so well. But people can be... unkind. Small-minded. She’s already facing enough with the parents at her school, and I can’t help but think that this—your relationship—might make things harder for her.”
Lara’s throat tightened, her grip on the dish towel tightening. “Ana’s strong. She can handle it.”
Her mother tilted her head, giving Lara a searching look. “Strong, yes. But why make her fight unnecessary battles? You seem like a lovely person, Lara, truly. But have you thought about what this is doing to her career? Her reputation? Her future?”
Lara froze, the weight of the words hitting her like a punch to the stomach. She wanted to argue, to defend herself and her relationship with Ana, but the doubts she’d been trying to suppress surged to the surface. “I love Ana,” she said quietly, her voice barely steady. “And I want her to be happy.”
Her mother gave her a sad smile, her tone softening as if she were delivering a difficult truth. “Then maybe think about whether being with you is what’s best for her in the long run.”
Lara didn’t know how to respond. Her chest felt tight, her mind swirling with thoughts she didn’t want to entertain but couldn’t push away. She wanted to believe that she and Ana could weather any storm, but Ana’s mother had planted a seed of doubt that took root faster than Lara wanted to admit.
When Ana returned to the kitchen, she immediately sensed the tension. “Everything okay in here?”
“Of course,” her mother said, her smile returning as if nothing had happened. “I was just telling Lara how nice it’s been to meet her.”
Lara forced a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Same here.”
Ana glanced between them, her brow furrowing slightly, but she didn’t press. “Well, we should probably get going. It’s getting late.”
As they said their goodbyes and stepped out into the cool night air, Lara felt the weight of the evening settle heavily on her shoulders. She climbed into the passenger seat of Ana’s car, staring out the window as Ana started the engine.
“You okay?” Ana asked, glancing at her.
Lara nodded, though her voice was distant. “Yeah. Just tired.”
Ana reached over and squeezed her hand, her touch warm and reassuring. “You were amazing tonight. Thank you for coming.”
Lara forced another smile, but her mind was elsewhere. As they drove home, the words of Ana’s mother echoed in her head, louder and more insistent with every passing mile.
“Have you thought about what this is doing to her career? Her reputation? Her future?”
Lara closed her eyes, leaning her head against the window. She loved Ana—more than she’d ever loved anyone—but the fear that she might be holding her back, that she might be the reason Ana faced unnecessary battles, was a weight she wasn’t sure she could carry.
The drive back to Ana’s apartment was unusually quiet. The hum of the engine filled the car, but the silence between them felt heavy, charged with unspoken words. Ana glanced over at Lara several times, her brow furrowed with concern, but Lara kept her eyes fixed on the road, her hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly.
When they finally pulled into the parking lot, Ana turned to her, her voice soft but insistent. “What did my mom say to you?”
Lara hesitated, her stomach twisting as she stared straight ahead. “Nothing worth repeating,” she said finally, her tone clipped.
“Lara—” Ana began, her voice tinged with frustration.
“It’s fine, Ana,” Lara interrupted, sharper than she intended. She immediately regretted it, reaching out to touch Ana’s hand. “I promise, it’s fine. Let’s just go inside.”
Ana studied her for a moment, her expression a mix of worry and confusion, but she didn’t push. “Okay,” she said quietly, though the tension in her voice made it clear the conversation wasn’t over.
They climbed out of the car and walked up the stairs to Ana’s apartment in silence. Lara’s mind raced, the words of Ana’s mother echoing relentlessly in her head. “Have you thought about what this is doing to her career? Her reputation? Her future?” Each step felt heavier than the last, the weight of doubt pressing down on her chest.
As they stepped inside, Max trotted over to greet them, his tail wagging furiously. Lara bent down to scratch his ears, grateful for the distraction, but even his goofy enthusiasm couldn’t shake the storm brewing inside her.
Ana set her keys on the counter and turned to Lara, her arms crossed. “You’re not fine,” she said, her voice firm but gentle. “And I’m not going to pretend you are. What did she say?”
Lara straightened, avoiding Ana’s gaze as she walked over to the window, staring out at the darkened street. “She’s just worried about you,” she said finally, her voice quiet. “About what being with me might mean for your career, your reputation... your future.”
Ana’s expression softened, but there was a flicker of anger in her eyes. “And what did you say?”
Lara shrugged, her arms wrapping around herself as if to ward off the chill she felt despite the warmth of the apartment. “What could I say? She’s your mom. She loves you. And she’s not wrong.”
“Lara—” Ana started, but Lara cut her off.
“No, Ana, listen,” she said, turning to face her. “I love you. More than anything. But I can’t stop thinking about whether I’m making your life harder. Whether I’m holding you back.”
Ana stepped closer, her eyes searching Lara’s face. “You’re not. You’re not holding me back, and you’re not making my life harder. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Lara’s throat tightened, and she looked away, her voice barely above a whisper. “But what if she’s right? What if I’m not what’s best for you?”
Ana reached out, cupping Lara’s face in her hands and forcing her to meet her gaze. “You are what’s best for me. Not my mom, not David, not anyone else. You. And I’m not going to let anyone—not even her—make you doubt that.”
Lara’s eyes filled with tears, and she leaned into Ana’s touch, her voice breaking. “I just don’t want to ruin your life, Ana.”
“You’re not ruining my life,” Ana said firmly, pulling Lara into a tight embrace. “You’re making it better. Every single day.”
Lara buried her face in Ana’s shoulder, the weight of her doubts still heavy but eased by the warmth of Ana’s arms around her. For now, she let herself believe it. But as they stood there, holding each other in the quiet of the apartment, the nagging voice in Lara’s head refused to fade, whispering a question she couldn’t quite silence: Am I really what’s best for her?
Chapter 15
At first, Ana didn’t notice the shift. Life had been so busy, with her classes in full swing and the usual bustle of schoolwork consuming her days. It wasn’t unusual for Lara to put in long hours at the clinic, especially when one of her cases required extra attention. But as the days turned into weeks, Ana began to feel the growing gap between them.
Lara started coming home later and later, citing work as the reason. When she did make it back to Ana’s apartment, she seemed preoccupied, her mind elsewhere. Conversations became shorter, punctuated by distracted nods and half-smiles. Some nights, instead of staying over, Lara would excuse herself, saying she needed a night in her own bed to catch up on sleep.
For the first time since they’d begun sharing their lives, Ana felt a creeping sense of unease. One evening, she decided to surprise Lara at the clinic. She packed a small dinner and drove over, her heart pounding with anticipation. When she arrived, Lara was seated at her desk, staring at her computer screen with a furrowed brow.
“Hey,” Ana said brightly, stepping inside. “I thought you might need a break.”
Lara looked up, startled. “Ana! What are you doing here?”
“I brought dinner,” Ana said, holding up the bag. “I figured you might be too busy to eat.”
Lara’s expression softened, but only slightly. “That’s really sweet of you. Thank you.”
Ana set the bag on the desk and glanced around the room. It was neat, clinical, but the weight in the air felt personal. “You’ve been working so hard lately,” she said, trying to keep her tone light. “I feel like I hardly see you anymore.”
Lara sighed, leaning back in her chair. “I’m sorry, Ana. It’s just... things have been hectic here. A few difficult cases, a lot of late nights.”
“Is it really just work?” Ana asked, her voice trembling slightly.
Lara hesitated, then reached for Ana’s hand. “Of course it is. You know I love you, right?”
Ana nodded, but the doubt in Lara’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed.
***
Over the next few weeks, the distance only widened. Lara began staying at her apartment more often, citing the need to decompress. Max missed her presence, often sitting by the door and whining as if waiting for her to walk through it. Ana missed her even more.
When they were together, the ease and comfort they’d shared seemed replaced by a strange tension. Lara was kind, but guarded, her touch hesitant, her words measured.
One evening, as they sat side by side on the couch, Ana reached for Lara’s hand. “Lara, are we okay?”
Lara turned to her, her eyes filled with something Ana couldn’t quite place. “Why wouldn’t we be?”
“You tell me,” Ana said softly. “You’ve been pulling away. I can feel it. I just don’t know why.”
Lara looked down, her fingers tracing absent patterns on the couch. “It’s not you, Ana. I promise. It’s... me. I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”
“Then let me help,” Ana pleaded. “That’s what we’re supposed to do for each other, isn’t it?”
Lara forced a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You already help me more than you know.”
Ana wanted to press further, but the walls around Lara felt unyielding, and she wasn’t sure how to break through.
When Lara was alone, the weight of her thoughts pressed down on her like a storm cloud. Ana’s mother’s words echoed in her mind, their sharp edges cutting deeper each time she replayed them.
“Have you thought about what this is doing to her career? Her reputation? Her future?”
At first, Lara had tried to dismiss them, brushing off the judgment as narrow-mindedness. But the more she watched Ana navigate the world—the pride she took in her work, the respect she’d earned from her students and colleagues—the more the words wormed their way into her thoughts.
Lara hated that they’d gotten under her skin. Hated even more that they rang with a certain truth she couldn’t ignore. Ana had been so happy, so settled, before she came into her life. And now? Now Ana was facing judgment from parents, disapproval from her own mother, and even whispers at her school.
Every time Lara thought about it, the guilt settled heavier in her chest.
One afternoon, as they strolled through the park with Max, Ana stopped to chat with a woman holding a toddler. Lara watched as the little boy reached for Ana, giggling when she crouched down and made a silly face. The toddler’s mother smiled warmly, clearly charmed by Ana’s kindness.
Lara stayed back, holding Max’s leash, her heart clenching.
Ana’s eyes sparkled as she interacted with the boy, her laughter ringing out like music. She was so natural, so good with him, and in that moment, Lara saw something she hadn’t fully allowed herself to admit before: Ana would make an incredible mother.
Later that day, as they walked home, Ana shared stories from her classroom. Her face lit up as she recounted how one of her students had finally mastered a tough concept. Her love for teaching, her love for children, was undeniable.
Lara couldn’t shake the image of Ana with that little boy in the park. She couldn’t stop thinking about how much Ana had to give, how much she could have. A family. Stability. Everything she deserved.
And Lara? She wasn’t sure she could offer any of it.
The doubts clawed at her, relentless and unyielding. What if this relationship—what if she—was holding Ana back? The thought terrified Lara. She loved Ana more than she’d ever thought possible. She loved the way Ana’s eyes lit up when she was excited, the way she hummed absentmindedly while cooking, the way she made Lara feel safe and whole. She loved the quiet moments they shared, the way Ana’s laughter could fill a room, the way her touch could calm even Lara’s most restless thoughts.
But love, she realized, wasn’t always enough.
Lara didn’t want to be the reason Ana missed out on something she might later regret. She didn’t want Ana to wake up one day and wonder what she could have had if she’d chosen someone who fit more seamlessly into her life. Someone who didn’t come with complications. Someone who didn’t make her fight battles she shouldn’t have to fight.
She tried to push the thoughts away, but they always came back, sharper and more insistent each time. And then she imagined Ana’s mother’s face, stern and unyielding, as she said, “What kind of future can you give her?”
It was a question Lara couldn’t answer. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she wasn’t sure she could. She wanted to believe that she and Ana could build a life together, that they could weather any storm. But the truth was, Lara didn’t know if she could give Ana the stability, the acceptance, the future she deserved.
The final straw came one evening when they visited Ana’s colleague, who had recently had a baby. Lara watched as Ana held the tiny infant, her face soft with wonder. She cradled the baby with such ease, cooing gently, completely at home in the role. The way Ana looked at the child—with so much love, so much warmth—took Lara’s breath away.
This wasn’t just a fleeting moment. It was a glimpse into a future Ana might secretly long for, a future Lara feared she couldn’t give her. A future that might be out of reach because of who Lara was, because of the life they were trying to build together.
Lara’s chest tightened painfully as she watched Ana, her heart breaking a little more with each passing second. She wanted to give Ana everything—a family, a home, a life filled with love and laughter. But the more she thought about it, the more she wondered if she was the one standing in the way.
***
That night, Lara sat alone in her apartment, the weight of her thoughts crushing her. The silence was deafening, broken only by the occasional hum of the refrigerator. She stared at the ceiling, her mind racing, her heart aching.
Every time she imagined ending things, the grief threatened to drown her. The idea of losing Ana felt unbearable, like cutting off a piece of her own soul. Ana was her person. Her safe place. Her home. How could she walk away from that? How could she let go of the one thing that made her feel whole?
But wasn’t that the selfless thing to do? To let Ana go so she could have the life she deserved, even if it meant Lara wouldn’t be a part of it? The thought tore her apart, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that it was the right thing to do. The only thing to do.
Lara paced the room, running her hands through her hair, her thoughts a tangled mess. She wanted to call Ana, to hear her voice, to tell her how much she loved her. But she couldn’t. Not now. Not when she was so close to making a decision that would change everything.
Finally, she sank onto the couch and buried her face in her hands. She’d made up her mind.
She would end things.
It wasn’t what she wanted. It was the last thing she wanted. But it was what she believed Ana needed. And Lara would do anything for Ana, even if it meant breaking her own heart.
Chapter 16
Ana walked into Lara’s apartment with her usual warm smile, carrying a bag of groceries. Max jumped happily around her, greeting Lara with an eager wag of his tail. She placed the groceries on the counter, her movements light and effortless, as if she belonged there. The familiarity of the moment—the way Ana moved through the space like it was her own—made Lara’s chest ache.
"I figured we could make pasta tonight," Ana said, holding up a bundle of fresh basil and tomatoes. "You’ve been working so much, I thought it’d be nice to—"
Lara interrupted her softly, her voice barely steady. "Ana, we need to talk."
Ana froze, her smile fading. She looked at Lara, her brow furrowing with concern. "What’s wrong?"
Lara gestured for Ana to sit on the couch, her hands trembling as she tucked them into her sleeves. Her heart pounded in her chest, loud and relentless. She hated what she was about to do, but she couldn’t ignore the decision she’d made.
Ana hesitated before sitting, her hands clutching her knees. "Lara, you’re scaring me. Did something happen?"
Lara sat beside her, but not close enough to touch. She kept her hands in her lap, her gaze fixed on them. "No, nothing happened. I’ve just… I’ve been thinking a lot lately."
Ana leaned forward, her eyes searching Lara’s face. "About what?"
