Cobra (Blue Angel Security Book 1), page 33
“Luca, I can’t have children,” I blurt out. The same demons that are constantly playing war in my head attempt to destroy this moment between us. I bow my head, letting my tears fall as he sits silently by my side. A few seconds later, I feel his strong arms wrap around me as I turn and cry into his chest. After what seems like forever, at least for me, I look up to him.
“That’s why you weren’t worried?”
“Yes. I knew we were both clean and since I can’t—”
“There were no concerns. Since we’ve opened this can of worms up, I have a question for you, Jaycee. Do you want children? I know you can’t carry them, but do you want children? Someday?”
“I’d love to adopt a child, but with how uncertain my life is and the constant fear always lurking over me, I’ll never have that chance. I won’t risk a child’s safety over my desire to be a mother,” I tell him as my labored breathing returns to normal.
“What about you, Luca? Do you want children?” I ask him the same question, not sure if I really want his answer.
“If someone had asked me that question a year ago, my answer would have been unequivocally no, but then I met you and began to dream of the day we would start our own family.”
“Oh,” I say, feeling like I’m about to have my entire world ripped out from under me.
“Tiger, my dream, including yours, can still be our reality. Maybe we won’t create our family in a traditional manner, but we can still have the family we dream about.”
“But you can have your own children.”
“Or we can plan to adopt our children together.”
“Luca…”
“Hey, nothing has to be decided today, next week, next month, or even next year. I’m just letting you know that I’m in this for the long haul. I’m not going anywhere and if adoption is the only way for us to be parents, then that’s what we’ll do. That is, of course, after you marry me.”
“Whiskey…”
“Not today, Tiger, but someday soon you will be wearing my engagement ring, just like I told you at Christmas. You will say yes when I ask.”
“We’ll see,” I say, reaching over to kiss him.
“Yes, we will. I love you, Josslyn, forever, and nothing is ever going to change that.”
Drifting off to sleep in his arms, I pray with every bone in my body that he really means that, because I couldn’t survive in a world if he left me.
“I love you too, Luca.”
36
COBRA
The day after Jaycee’s tear-filled confession, the last thing I had in mind was making a trip into the warehouse, but, nonetheless that’s exactly where I found myself.
Standing outside of the garage, I find Jackal and Shadow waiting for me.
“What’s up? Why did you need me to come in on a Saturday?”
“Come on, Cobra, we’re going for a ride,” Jackal tells me as we all head for his truck. The ride away from Blue Angels is quiet and tension filled. Uncertainty fills my mind as we put more distance between us and the warehouse. As we pull into a vacant parking lot, he turns off the engine. “Let’s go for a walk, boys. Leave all your electronics in the truck.” Puzzled, we both look over at Jackal, but when he offers up no further explanation we simply do as he instructed us to do.
We walk about half a mile away from the truck until Jackal spots a clearing with a few large rocks on it. I’d be willing to bet that at one point teenagers came to this very spot and lit a bonfire or two and got drunk behind their parents’ backs. I know I would have, had I experienced a normal childhood.
He motions for the two of us to have a seat, he only waits a beat before he begins. Concerned at what could possibly be going on, Shadow and I sit quietly and wait for Jackal to gather his thoughts. Whatever this is, it can’t be good.
“About two weeks ago, I got a phone call from Gannon. This call blew me out of the water and when I’m finished telling you two, I know you’ll feel the same. First off, what I’m about to tell you stays between the three of us, or four, if you include Gannon. And this news cannot be, and I mean cannot be, shared with anyone,” he says, looking directly at me, “Not even Jaycee.”
I swallow hard and simply nod. I know this has to be deadly serious, if I’m being ordered not to share anything with Jaycee.
Jackal looks at me straight on. “It appears Gannon’s beloved organization has a rat hiding within its confines.” Opening my mouth seeking clarification, he silences me with his hand. “Remember back several months now, when Hawk discovered that Jaycee’s cameras had been hacked?”
Grinding my teeth together, I deeply rumble out a single word, “Yes.”
“Well, it seems our boy is the modern version of a double agent. I don’t think that he started out that way, or at least I hope not. Somewhere over the last few weeks, Hawk had to have been approached by someone searching for information on Jaycee. Gannon discovered a possible connection from Hawk to an offshore account in Switzerland. According to the information Gannon was able to uncover, Hawk is claiming the money in that account is from an inheritance from an aunt he never knew. The timing and the location are too much of a coincidence and Gannon is determined to get to the bottom of it.”
“And what makes Gannon think we have a rat? We don’t have anything conclusive tying him to the situation in California. Just a lot of coincidences. We barely know anything about Hawk,” Shadow reminds Jackal.
“That may be true, but all the files on Jaycee have been copied. Gannon placed security protocols on all of her files. He didn’t trust any of us with her, not really. Someone in the office has been copying her files and sending them to an encrypted address.”
“So, what’s Gannon doing now? How do we stop him?”
“Gannon has already contacted his second choice for the computer analyst position. Hopefully, he can shed some light on what in the hell has been happening in my fucking agency.” Jackal growls. “All I know for certain is that Gannon has been watching all of us for weeks now, and when you went to Texas, that was when the files were copied. Which was a good thing since it excluded you from any wrong doing.”
“And me? Have I been cleared or am I considered a possible rat?” Shadow sneers in Jackal’s direction.
“No, Shadow. No one except Hawk is considered to be the rat. Gannon really is a genius. When he set up this organization, he secretly installed safety measures that none of us knew existed, me included. I still don’t know how he found out for sure Hawk was the rat, but he did. He knows without a doubt who is the spy.”
“Hawk is gone, I take it?” I cautiously ask because if my instincts are anything to go by, I’m going to hate this answer.
“No, not yet. Gannon wants to catch him red-handed. As of this point, we haven’t found any concrete proof that it’s him.”
“So we’re just going to—”
“Calm your jets, Cobra. No one is going to let anything happen to Jaycee. We are going to continue to keep her safe. But we’re also going to monitor Hawk and see what he’s really up to.”
“What does that mean, exactly?” I ask Jackal.
“It means that our meetings about Jaycee will take place outside of the warehouse. No electronics will be around at said meetings. It also means Gannon has a new guy coming to sweep yours and Jaycee’s houses. Somehow, information is still being passed on and since we have no idea how it’s being relayed, Gannon is insisting both homes be swept. Especially since she spends more time at your home than her own.
“Fucking fantastic. Anything else we need to know?” I angrily demand.
“Yeah, there is. Cobra, Gannon is requesting you be the one to deliver a particular devastating piece of news to Jaycee. She’s definitely not going to be happy, and this quite literally could unhinge the girl. The last thing we need right now is for her to seek her own form of justice,” he says, handing me a letter printed on our letterhead stationary. “This is public knowledge. Gannon called me last night and told me to print this record out. Jaycee has a right to see this. As bad as the Hawk situation is, this, in Gannon’s mind, so much worse. According to him, your girl doesn’t trust easily and if we don’t tell her ahead of time of this new situation Gannon said it will bite us in the ass. The last thing we need is for her to shut down on us all and then we will be of absolutely no service in keeping her safe.”
“So, basically, I have to go home and rip my girl’s heart out and tell her the monsters from hell might be getting a second chance at freedom. Meanwhile, we have a fucking rat who is potentially selling everything he learns about my girl to her sick bastard of an ex-brother-in-law. Does that sum it all up?”
“Yes, unfortunately, it sums it up. I’m sorry, Cobra. I know this isn’t ideal, but really it is for her own good.”
“Yes, because it’s smarter to keep information away from her. We can tell her about something that’s not even guaranteed to happen, but we can’t tell her something we know to be true. God, what would she do if she knew the organization sworn to keep her safe had a rat in its ranks and no one warned her first? This sounds like a fucking brilliant plan. Absolutely genius,” I shout as I walk back to the truck.
“Cobra!” Jackal shouts to me and I turn around facing him. It doesn’t matter if I’m pissed or not, he’s my superior.
“I heard you, Jackal. I know how to follow orders, no matter how much I don’t agree with you or Gannon.”
Shortly after my exchange of words with Jackal, we all head back to the warehouse. This time I gladly sit in the backseat. The last thing I want to do is to discuss this any further with Jackal. As soon as we pull into the yard, Jackal disappears inside the building, leaving me to vent to Shadow.
“What a cluster fuck. You do know that whatever shitstorm we thought was coming our way, it’s going to be three times as bad now?”
“You know none of us will let anything happen to your girl, right? This isn’t our first shit disaster and I’m sure it won’t be our last,” Shadow says as we lean against his truck.
“That may be true, but we’ve never had this problem before. Never,” I growl, pissed that our ‘little problem’ is just feet away inside the fucking building and there’s nothing any of us can do to him. For all intents and purposes, he’s the only link we have to Damon and we can’t alert him, until we know more. In other words, he’s untouchable. He’s off limits.
“Cobra, I know our team. We’ll figure this out and keep her safe,” he says, assuring me, everything will be fine.
“I know, and now I have to go home and rip her heart out while acting like that’s the only thing bothering me. This is fucked up. She has a right to know that someone who is supposed to be keeping her safe is actually trying to harm her.” I bang my head against his truck in frustration.
“Cobra, calm down, man. It’s not going to do any of us any good if Hawk starts suspecting we know something is up. We have to keep our heads on straight. Jaycee’s life may depend on it. For now, I think even Jackal would agree, go home. Relieve Liam from sitting with her and spend some time together. Hopefully, this will all be over soon.”
“Not soon enough,” I angrily sneer at Shadow. Pushing off his truck, I turn to him, “You’re right, though. I need to go home. Maybe holding her in my arms knowing she’s safe with me will calm the beast ready to destroy Hawk with my bare hands.”
“I get it. If it was someone I loved in danger, I’d probably be just as pissed as you are. Go home, enjoy your lady. Let us know if something comes up.”
“Sure thing,” I say, nodding as I turn to my SUV and head home, back to Jaycee.
Jaycee
The good thing about the days Luca has to go into the warehouse is that I get a little breathing room. I can do a few of the things I feel guilty about asking him if we can do. The bad thing is my mind likes to play games with me. It’s like I’m stuck in a child’s cartoon. I have two characters sitting on my shoulders. One wants to do the right thing, and the other doesn’t give two rats asses. It wants what it wants, end of discussion. For example, my future with Luca.
This morning I started wondering if I was really doing the right thing with him. He was still young enough to find the perfect woman for him, one that could make his dreams of having a family come true. Instead of the broken, defective model he had fallen in love with.
Besides being sexy and strong, one of the reasons I had decided to finally let my walls down with him is because I was totally convinced that it wouldn’t matter to Luca if I could have children or not. I never imagined him wanting them. And now that I know he does, how can I live with myself knowing I’m the reason that he doesn’t have any biological children?
As I step off the final step, I make my way into the kitchen to fix my tea when I see Liam sitting at the table scarfing down a bear claw.
“I got you your jelly donuts, these are mine,” he says, laughing.
“Tough crowd,” he replies, when he doesn’t see even a hint of a smile on me. “Where’s your man?”
“At the warehouse. But you already knew that. That’s why you’re here. Did Luca tell you to bring me donuts to put me in a better mood?”
“Why? Are you grumpy?”
“No. I’m not grumpy. I’m just thinking about a few things.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not yet. When I’m ready, I’ll let you know.”
“So what’s on your agenda for today?”
At the mention of plans for today, a small smile does break through. “Working on that new project with Alex. Today she should be sending me some additional images for the subpages for her web layout.”
“Have you met with her yet?”
“Nah, with all my other clients and her intakes getting more demanding, finding a day and time that we can get together hasn’t happened yet. I’m not worried though. I can’t wait to meet her.”
“And her full name is what?”
“Oh, please, not you, too? Whiskey already gave me the third degree over meeting her. It’s my business and I’m usually a pretty good judge of character. She’s a bit older than me and runs an organization to help get women back on their feet after escaping abusive relationships. I’m honored to be part of it.”
“Just be careful.”
“Yes Liam, always. That’s what you and Clayton have been teaching me for years how to do. Thanks to you two, I can protect myself if I need to.”
“Let’s just hope that day never comes,” Liam grumbles as he looks out the window seeing Whiskey pull back in the driveway. “Well, he’s home, that’s my cue.”
“Just because Whiskey’s home doesn’t mean you have to leave. He’s the one who insists ‘the more, the merrier’. His notion of keeping me safe is sometimes overkill. But I do understand, it’s who he is. On a side note, we could use that to our advantage today. We can sit on the couch and binge Netflix, if you want.”
“Nah, I’m good. Besides, you have work, remember?” he teases me as we walk outside meeting Whiskey.
“Everything good?” he asks Liam.
“Yep, as always all was quiet,” Liam grins. “Including your girl, which was a first for me,” he teases walking off the bottom step.
“Alright, I’m out of here. I’m going to grab a pizza and head for home,” Liam says rubbing his hands together. “I love me some pizza.”
“Where are you getting the pizza from?” Whiskey asks.
“Della’s. She makes the best pies in this city,” Liam smirks.
“She does. Do you have plans this afternoon? If not pick up a supreme and a small cheese and head back here. I’m starving and I’m sure Jaycee would love the extra time with you.”
“That’s not necessary, Cobra. I’m good on my own.”
“Sure it is. She is your best friend, right?” Whiskey asks Liam emphasizing the word is.
“Yes, she is. I’ll be back in less than thirty,” he says walking to his truck.
“Luca?” I ask as his demeanor changes in less time than it took Liam to back out of the driveway.
“Did something happen?”
“Not yet,” he holds his hand out waiting for me to join him on the porch chairs. “But we expect it’s coming. And soon. Dalton and Bryant got new court dates yesterday. In two months, they’ll go before a judge and try to convince him to set aside the guilty verdict and to allow for a new trial.”
“What?! Why? How could they get away with that?” I ask attempting to pull my hand back, but Whiskey’s holding on tightly.
“How did they manage to get a judge to even listen to them? And why would he then agree to re-try them?”
“Apparently, Bryant and Dalton insist their lawyer uncovered evidence she wasn’t given access to during the trial.”
“What fucking evidence?” I seethe angrily. “I can’t believe those bastards may get away with murdering my parents! This isn’t fair!” Suddenly, a horrific thought crosses my mind, just as Whiskey nods to me.
“They’re going to get away with it, aren’t they?” I ask as my eyes shimmer with tears. My thoughts spiral to all the endless what ifs. I clutch my fists as a sob breaks lose, followed by another and another, until I’m a sobbing mess. Whiskey stands up collecting me in his arms as he sits back down with me on his lap. He rubs my back trying to coax my tears into stopping. Sadly, they don’t really stop. I don’t think anything can stop them. “I was the state’s star witness years ago. If I go back, I’m as good as dead, and if I don’t go back, they’ll walk,” I hiccup getting my thoughts out.
“Tiger, let’s worry about it when we have to. We still have a few weeks before they go in front of the judge. Maybe they won’t get a new trial.”
“Whiskey, you don’t know Dalton or Bryant. They are master manipulators and will stop at nothing to get what they want. My parents’ deaths are proof of that,” I tell him as he wipes my tears with the cuff off his shirt.
“Tiger, we will do whatever we have to in order to keep you safe. Please try not worry, at least not yet. We still have a few weeks before their possible new trials. A lot can happen between now and then.”
