Cobra (Blue Angel Security Book 1), page 31
If I thought the outside was bad, it has nothing, absolutely nothing, on the inside. Busted cabinet doors hang precariously by what looks like a single screw. Hell, it could be held on by the thick latex paint he insisted mama refreshed every year for all I know. The appliances are gone, and the table has been spray painted in red with the words ‘eat shit’ scrawled across it. I smirk thinking maybe the town’s folks had an epiphany while I was away. Next, we cross the barrier that divides the kitchen and living room.
Immense joy instantly washes through me as I take in the sight before me.
The furniture has been cut and sliced to shreds. The windows have been boarded over, which tells me the glass has most likely been busted out years ago, and the carpet is disgusting. I have no idea what the hell is all over it and I have no desire to find out. But the part that has me practically busting at the seams with happiness, which I know is a first for me in this house, is all the graffiti spray painted on the walls in the living room.
Wife abuser. Child abuser. Murderer.
Three words float through me, describing my feelings at seeing the words the town has left behind.
Relief.
Joy.
Validation.
I’m not sure if they intended for me to see those words, but I have, and I’m thrilled I did. I spent so many years under the scope of criticism from this town. No one wanted to listen to a minister’s kid accuse his father of abuse. It was easier for everyone to turn a blind eye, until finally they couldn’t. But by then, it was too late. My mother and brother were gone, and I ran as far and fast from this town as I could.
“Luca…” Jaycee calls out, getting my attention. Following her eyes, I see what has her spooked. “Is that?”
“Yeah, baby, it is,” I say, walking over to the closet and removing the horsewhip from the hook that has held it there longer than I care to think about. I run my hands over the markings, remembering every strike this inconspicuous piece of leather made on my flesh. As I hold my father’s favorite torture device in my hands, the smell of his sweat and my blood mixed together permeates my senses. Soft whimpers sound behind me and I turn, seeing Jaycee’s beautiful, heart-stricken face covered in fresh tears.
“Tiger, come here,” I tell her as she moves into my arms. Uncontrollable sobs break free as the full impact of what I endured as a child hits her.
“My brave, strong, man. This house, the whip, the memories…” she stutters as she cries into my chest, the visions of what I have survived overwhelming her.
“Hey, no tears. Today is a happy day for me. This is better than brownies and ice cream, at least to me it is.”
“H-how do you figure that, Luca? Look at this place,” she wanders off in her own thoughts.
“Because for years, I thought this horrible town had covered up my father’s abuse of his family. And when he was charged, they rallied around him. This town made me feel like an imposter. Like I didn’t belong here. Like I was a liar. For years I tried to get help, but no one believed that their beloved minister was capable of the carnage I had described him inflicting on his own family when the curtains were closed. And now, look at this place, Jaycee. The town destroyed it. They called him out. They ruined the one thing he valued more than his family.”
“A house was more important than his family?” she lifts her head off my chest, clearly spoiling to unleash her anger on my behalf. I rub her back, trying my best to calm my fierce protector down. If it wasn’t for the fact that this isn’t either the time or place, I’d tease her that it’s my job to keep her safe. Somehow, I don’t think she’d appreciate my comment.
“No, Tiger, his image was the most important thing to him. And this town, whether he knew it or not, saw him for what he was. A monster.”
“And you’re really okay with all this, Whiskey?”
“I am, baby. There’s one more place I want to see before we leave.”
“Okay, let’s go. I’m right beside you.”
“Actually, can you give me two minutes? I want to make sure the stairs are safe for you.”
“Luca,” she growls, obviously frustrated with my constant worry over her ankle.
“After what happened outside, I’m not taking any chances with your safety. I will always protect you, that’s what I do best.” I grin at her sour glare at me.
“Fine. Just hurry, please. And don’t get hurt. You’re always worrying about me. Newsflash, Whiskey, I worry about you, too.”
After stomping my way up and down the stairs a few times, I’m finally convinced Jaycee would be safe climbing them with me. The first thing we see upstairs is more graffiti lining the walls. My father’s bedroom door is completely off its hinges. How appropriate. Poking my head into his room, I see it has been completely obliterated. His bed has been sliced like the couch, and his clothes are in shreds, especially his suits. And again, more graffiti lines his walls.
The bathroom is relatively untouched, however, the toilet is filthy as shit, much like he was. The truth is the truth, no matter how he tried to disguise it, just like the word painted on the mirror. He couldn’t escape what he was, a murderer.
The last room up here is the only one in this whole house that really matters to me. Scared half to death, I slowly open the door, which incredibly isn’t damaged. As it creaks open, I stand here stunned.
A soft gasp can be heard as I reach behind me and pull Jaycee forward into the one room in this entire house that’s not destroyed. If anything, our community has created a shrine to honor me and Bobby. Two twin beds are made up with matching new quilts, and tons of toys are laid out on one of the beds. The other has soccer balls, basketballs, and footballs scattered on it. But like downstairs, it’s the graffiti up here that has my attention. Two words, but these words are the salve that my heart has needed for years, even if I didn’t know it.
We’re sorry.
“Whiskey?” she looks over at me with her own tears flowing down her angelic face.
“I’m good, baby,” I say, taking her into my arms, savoring the sight in front of me. As I re-read those words, I realize for the first time in over two decades, I’m finally ready to say goodbye to my past.
“Let’s go.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Mama can rest in peace now. The monster is in hell, and I can finally let it all go.”
I take one last glance around the room, spotting something painfully familiar sitting in the middle of what is supposed to be Bobby’s bed. Untouched by time, I pick up a tiny blue bear and run my finger over the hole where its nose should be. “Mama let me buy this for Bobby the day he was born. He loved this tiny bear. He slept with it for months, until he started using it for a teething toy, hence its missing nose. She then put it up for safekeeping. She told me we’d give it back to him when he was older. Unfortunately, that day never came. The day we returned to pack our stuff, she couldn’t find it. I’ve never seen her so upset. She was heartbroken to leave here without his special bear.”
“Well, now, you can bring your brother’s bear home with us,” she says while looking around intently. “Is there anything of yours left here?”
“No, I’m good. We’re done here.” I take her hand and lead her back downstairs. As we walk back through the house, I scan each room, cementing what this town did for me, for my family, into my memories. Exiting the house, I see a county service truck behind my SUV. As we close the distance, he climbs out of his truck.
Not sure what trouble, if any, we might be in, I keep Jaycee tucked securely behind me. Smiling, the older gentleman approaches me.
“I heard you were back.” It takes me a few seconds to recognize the gentleman. “Mr. Marshall.”
“In the flesh. I work with the municipal services in town now.”
“I see that,” I grin.
“Did you see the signs before you entered the house?”
“Not really. I just found out today I own this dump.”
“Unfortunately, you don’t, Luca. The town has owned that house for the last decade.”
Clearly confused, I reach into my back pocket and pull out the deed that I had read an hour earlier.
“I have the deed.”
“Oh, I’m sure you do, Luca. But the taxes haven’t been paid for years on this property, so the town confiscated it in lieu of the unpaid debt.”
“You got screwed. No offense,” I tell him.
“It’s actually scheduled for demolition next month. Hopefully, after the property is cleared and cleaned, the town will be able to recoup at least some of its money owed.”
“Hopefully. So, you came to tell me what?”
“Actually, I was just told there were trespassers once again at the old Quartez house. I came over to investigate. As soon as I parked, Mrs. Collingsworth came rushing out to inform me she thought it was you. I decided the least this town could do was let you see for yourself that we’re sorry. We should have believed you. We should have helped you. We should have protected you all.”
“Mr. Marshall, it has taken me more years than I care to count, but I believe for the first time, I really am going to be okay. Especially with this lady by my side.”
“Luca, that’s great to hear. If you want to watch the house become nothing more than a pile of ash, give me your address and I’ll make sure you’re notified when it comes time.”
“No, thanks. I’ve seen and got all I needed from this house.”
In complete understanding, he nods to me as he walks back to his truck, and I walk us over to my SUV. Opening Jaycee’s door, I kiss her passionately.
“Thank you,” I tell her while holding Bobby’s bear close to my chest between us.
“For what?” she smiles at me.
“For being the rock I needed today, for just being you.”
“Luca, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, ever. I love you.”
“I love you too, Tiger. Now let’s go back to the hotel so I can show you exactly how much.”
Winking at me, “Those are the best words I’ve heard today,” she giggles, climbing in, reminding me I was truly wrong.
Love isn’t a myth, it’s real and at last I have found it.
34
JAYCEE
A lot has happened since Christmas. Thinking back on our impromptu trip to Texas, I smile. Luca truly needed the closure the trip provided. Since coming home, he’s been happier and more carefree, and to me, that’s all that matters.
About the only thing he still can’t relax about is me. I hate knowing my current situation is what keeps him on edge. It’s been five months since Damon left those pictures of me and my parents on my porch. Even with Hawk’s constant monitoring of the cameras and internet searches, my crazy ex and his family are still lurking in the shadows. To me, this is as bad as a physical stalker, because until he strikes, there isn’t a damn thing anyone can do to stop him. And just like with any stalker situation, all we can do is pray that when he strikes, I survive it.
“Damn bastards.”
I mumble to myself, trying not to let their fucked up plans, whatever they may be, ruin this morning. Today Luca had to go into the warehouse, and while he was gone, I thought I’d come spend some time in my studio. I still haven’t spent more than a few hours here or there in my home since October. Although now, it’s because I can’t imagine going to bed or waking up without him. He’s not much better about the whole thing. If it was left up to Whiskey, I’d probably already be living with him lock, stock, and barrel. In his opinion, since I’m never here, I might as well take the leap. We’ll see.
I stroll into my closet selecting a light leotard with just a sports bra. With the temperatures rising it won’t take long before I’m burning up. As the music starts, I stretch and warm up before beginning my routine. It seems wonderful after months of not dancing to finally feel comfortable enough in my own home. To be here alone, doing what I love, dancing. An hour later and totally exhausted, I turn off the sound system and head upstairs, finding Liam sitting on my couch.
Seeing him here tells me today, is not one of his good days. A few days after Christmas, Clayton got orders heading overseas. At the time, Liam was okay telling us that at least this was one of his shorter assignments, but if you were to see him today, you’d say he’s anything but fine.
“Hey, Liam, when did you get here?”
“Probably about twenty minutes ago.”
“And you didn’t come down to get me?”
“Nah, you looked like you were enjoying yourself. One of us should at least be happy.”
“How much longer before Clayton gets back home?”
“At least another three months. I got a letter from him today.”
“Oh, something bad? Usually you’re in a good mood when you hear from him, so why the long face?”
“His unit is going dark, and he doesn’t know for how long. He said he’d call or write when he could, and not to worry.”
“You’ve been through this before, Liam. This is nothing new. So, what’s really bothering you?”
“I’m just tired and selfish, I guess. I’m tired of always worrying if he’s going to come home to me. I want him with me. I miss him so fucking much, it hurts. We had finally started talking about this being his last tour before he got these orders.”
“And? How’d that go over?”
“Better than I expected. He,” Liam takes a deep breath before finishing, “he said when his tour was over, he wanted us to get legally married. He wants to start a family.”
“Wow! I’m so happy for you Liam. You guys deserve it.”
“I know, and that’s why I’m freaking out now. Everything is so close to finally being within my reach. I can’t lose him Jaycee, not now.”
“Liam, Clayton is smart. He’s not going to do anything to jeopardize his coming home to you. Especially with you both making plans to start a family. Stop worrying. Maybe we should have a barbeque tonight? Invite everyone over. It would probably do you some good.”
“I don’t know. I’m not the greatest company right now.”
“Oh, come on, it’d do you good.”
“You’re going to put on some actual clothes first,” Whiskey growls from the doorway. He then smirks, knowing just how much his possessive side turns me on, before he starts again. “So that your man doesn’t come home and find you sitting on the couch half-naked with another man. Other than that, it sounds good to me,” he says, winking at me.
“You’re home already? How’d the meeting go?”
“The meeting went fine, no changes. Hawk is still monitoring his whereabouts. As for being home already, it’s after eleven.”
“Okay, so why the grumpy expression?”
“Jaycee, did you completely gloss over your man’s spiel about the barbeque? You need to put on some clothes.”
“Really?” I get up walking over to Luca, “That’s what has you grumpy? Because of my clothing choice?”
“Or lack thereof,” he mumbles loud enough for me to hear.
“First off, Wolfman,” I smirk because he knows I only call him that when he irritates or pisses me off. “I am clothed. Second, the man you’re all bent out of shape over seeing me half-naked in front of, which clearly I’m not, has no interest in me or any other woman. I could walk across this room stark ass naked, and I wouldn’t even get a rise from him.”
Growling loudly next to me, “Yeah, well, it still doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“Jealous?”
“No, well, maybe a little. I don’t like the idea of any man seeing my woman half-naked. I don’t care if he’s straight, bi, or gay. I don’t like it. You’re mine,” he loudly whispers into my ear before kissing me.
“Always, even if you’re a bit dramatic there, Wolfman.”
“Fine. I’ll own that one. Now, are we inviting the whole crew over for this barbeque?”
“Jaycee, are you sure you don’t need to go get your head checked? If I had to live with your man, I’d have whip-lash.”
“Ah, he’s usually not this bad. He’s just a tad possessive, that’s all. I’ve gotten used to it. And besides, I kind of like his dominant side.”
“Fine. No hospital visits tonight. Although I do reserve the right to call in a psych evaluation if needed,” Liam mocks me.
“And like you don’t like Clayton’s dominant side?” I sass him, knowing all too well, if their stories are anything to go by, just how much Liam loves being bossed around.
“I’m pleading the fifth,” he laughs, looking over at me. “If there’s nothing else, I’m going to call Mal and see if he and Pat can join us tonight too, since I imagine your girls will be here?”
“Yep, I’ll call Kylee and Raelyn. That should get the ball rolling for tonight.”
“Oh, and Liam, make sure you tell Mal and Pat to keep it G-rated this time. I’m telling Raelyn to bring the babies with her this time. It’s time that we all started getting together more often and that includes the kids, too.”
“Okay, Tiger so when you say the whole crew, who exactly does that mean?”
“That means, everyone who wants to be here is welcome. Liam will be here, the girls, Mal and Patrick, and I imagine Jefferson will come along with his family.”
“Definitely. Jefferson does not willingly let Raelyn go anywhere without him. He’s almost as protective of her as I am with you.”
“If that’s truly the case,” Liam replies standing up. “I feel sorry for you. I’ve heard the stories about Jefferson from Mal. He’s a little over the top with her at times.”
“I’m sure he can’t be all that bad. Raelyn seems extremely happy with him,” I defend Jefferson to Liam, because while I agree on some level about his possessiveness, the thought of someone trash talking Luca makes me want to hurl something at them.
“Tiger, if we’re inviting all them plus the kids, we need to go do some shopping for the barbeque. I’m thinking of inviting Shadow and Jackal, too.”
