Cross Your Mind, page 23
The cab pulled up outside the red brick tower, and I paid the fare. “Watch it around here, yeah?” the cabbie warned before screeching away. I looked around, hoping to spot Nancy walking back from the surrounding streets, but she was nowhere to be seen. I ran to the lifts, passing a group of teenagers who eyed me coolly.
The lights were on in Tracy’s flat, the front of which, I was relieved to see, bore no mark of the horrific vandalism from the night before. I rang the video doorbell Evan had installed. After a minute, I heard the safety chain being fixed to the door. The latch turned, and Tracy peered out, her expression shadowed. “Alex.”
“Tracy, is Nancy here?”
“Yeah, and she’s very upset.”
I placed a hand on the door. “Let me in. I need to talk to her.”
“You’re not coming in.”
“Why not?”
Tracy held her ground, her voice remaining icy calm. “First off, I’ve just got her in bed and settled. She needs to rest. Second, despite saying nothing about what happened, she was clear she didn’t want to see you. She said you’d come, but I shouldn’t let you in under any circumstances.” Her eyes narrowed. “Why would she say that to me?”
I realised the cheerful woman I’d got to know over the last two weeks was now a wary and protective mother. Stepping back, I tried to compose myself. “I don’t know. That’s what I need to find out. Something happened this evening.”
“But she was with you the whole time.” Tracy’s temper rose. “Since you found her last night after some bastard spray-painted abuse about her right on this door. How can you not know if she was with you? What happened?”
“We got separated at the gala, but she was safe and with my family. It’s a classy event; there wouldn’t have been any trouble.”
“Oh really?” Tracy scoffed. “You’ve never been a cleaner ’round Westminster, have you? I can tell you firsthand there’re entitled men all over this city. It doesn’t matter how much is in their bank account.”
“What are you implying?”
“I’m implying that if I find out you hurt my little girl, I’ll hunt you down and—”
“I would never hurt her. She’s everything to me!”
Tracy raised her hand. “I’m gonna wait and find out what Nancy has to say after she’s slept and recovered, and I don’t want to see you here again until she invites you. Do you understand?”
“Tracy, this is ridiculous!” I lunged forward. “I haven’t done anything! I only want to know she’s okay!”
Her eyes became slits. “You never raise your voice to me, you hear? And in answer to your question, no, she isn’t okay. Now. Go. Home.”
My blood pumped hot in my neck. Fear mixed with fury. I knew I had the strength to kick the door free from the chain and force myself in, and the brute within, fuelled by anger and possessiveness, seriously thought about it, but reason and honour won out. I stepped back and drew a deep, shaky breath. “Goodnight, Tracy. I’m glad Nancy’s safe with you.” Then I turned for the stairs, hearing the latch click behind me.
I walked along the Thames away from the city, as rain began pattering down in large, wet droplets, slowly soaking through my overcoat down to my Oxfords. The uncomfortable feeling was welcome and matched my dark mood. I put one wet foot in front of the other and ran back through the evening, trying to figure out what the hell had happened.
Nancy’s nerves were palpable at the start of the night, but she seemed okay when we spoke to the ‘pair of jeans’, even though they were a deathly bore. My previous girlfriends would have been happy to hang off my arm like an ornament as I conducted business, but Nancy must have been bored senseless. I hadn’t realised how long we’d prattled on until I turned to find her gone. Concerned, I’d excused myself to check the bar, narrowly avoiding a run-in with the dreadful ‘twit twins’.
After a frustrating search, I found Nancy chatting with Mother, whom William had already introduced. That got my back up. William knew I’d wanted to handle her carefully when presenting Nancy, given the state she was often in these days. It wasn’t his place…especially when they looked so stunning next to one another. I’d been petty because of it, ordering William to remove his arm. But things had calmed down after, and Nancy seemed in good spirits.
She’d kissed me so passionately after my speech, I was lost for words. Then dinner was served, and Catherine and Mother drew me into a ‘chat’ that swiftly became an interrogation about Nancy and Mimi. As dinner drew on, Catherine became spiteful as she often did after a few drinks, and I decided it was best for us to leave, but I found Nancy had gone off with William once again.
The invasive questioning, alongside my proprietorial streak, had me raging with jealousy as he enjoyed Nancy’s company in my absence. Seeing them laughing in each other’s arms, William taking their picture in the casino—where I had wanted to take her after this awful week—sent me over the edge. I’d never blown up at him like that, and the memory left me ashamed.
William may not have borne my burdens as heir, but I’d never felt bitter about it like Father and Uncle George. Our companionship through a rough childhood had kept us afloat, and god knew William had his own demons to live with. I was his big brother, the one who always had his back. Yet I’d treated him like a competitor. It was below the belt.
As the rain drummed the river beside the gloomy path, I thought back to the ballroom where the night had started and ended. I’d asked Nancy to dance before we left. It was silly, perhaps, but I adored dancing with her. Face to face, body to body. It would always be the precursor to our first time together—to the first time I had trusted someone enough to leave myself open and vulnerable. But as we danced, Nancy changed in front of me.
She was distracted, looking around at the drunken trust fund pillocks who had little respect for anything. Perhaps that had upset her. I had to admit that high society could be boorish and arrogant. It was why I stayed away from most of the events I was invited to. But the Child Protection gala was different. It was personal.
Even so, Nancy wasn’t crying when she left the ballroom. Her distress happened after she went to the ladies’… Dear god, I thought, was Tracy right? Was Nancy assaulted? Was that why she was in such a state? Did someone touch her—hurt her? I wavered, as the rain beat my face, replacing the tears I’d never managed to shed.
Go on, cry, you pathetic coward, my father sneered.
My hands fisted at my sides. I wanted to return to the flat that moment and extract the beast’s name so I could unleash every violence on him. But Tracy’s words ricocheted around my head.
She said you’d come, but I shouldn’t let you in under any circumstances.
Whatever happened to Nancy at the gala, she blamed me. Was it someone I knew who’d assaulted her? Or was it because I hadn’t been there when she needed me most? Was it because I’d led her right into danger?
Since the press had been so ruthless, I’d decided it was best Nancy didn’t attend, but when Mimi had goaded me after dinner, I’d snapped. There was no way I was hiding our relationship any longer. The world needed to accept it! Yet my change of heart had put her directly in harm’s way. It was my job to protect her—my duty. Whatever happened to her in that bathroom was my fault. I’d failed Nancy just hours after she’d handed me her trust. It was unforgivable.
I lifted my head, cursing my misjudgement, and realised I’d reached another bridge. With no idea how long I’d been walking westward, I climbed to the road and found I’d reached Kew. I knelt against a stone wall, feeling exhausted, and let my head fall into my hands.
A couple with a raised umbrella bustled by in the dull lamplight, dropping a coin at my feet. It jingled on the ground, the King’s stately profile shining up at me. My back straightened.
“Sir? Are you ready to leave?” I looked up to see Evan staring back at me through the car window.
Much to his surprise, I rose and sat soaking beside him rather than in the back. “Yes, home, Evan. I’ve royally cocked up.”
“Sir, if you don’t mind me enquiring, is Ms Cooper well?”
“She’s safe. I don’t know if she’s well, but I’ll make it right no matter what it takes.” I looked over at Evan. “You like her, don’t you?”
Evan’s eyes remained fixed on the road. “I do, sir; she’s got class. Much like you, Lord Toverton.”
I paused, taking in the rare moment of sentiment from my otherwise reticent bodyguard. “Thank you, Evan. That means a lot. Now, I need to prove it.”
“Very good, sir.”
37. ALEX
DENNIS WAS NESTLED IN MY WARMTH when I woke on Sunday morning, clinging to Nancy’s pillow. I reached for my phone, but despite spending a good portion of the night messaging her, she hadn’t replied. With immense effort, I forced myself out of bed and away from her remaining essence.
Once I was dressed, I called her again, but it went straight to voicemail. I left a much calmer message than the garbled panic from the night before, telling her how desperately sorry I was and asking her to call me back. Then, I ordered a bouquet of white roses and dusky pink carnations to be sent to the flat in apology.
As the weather was dry, I walked to William’s in east Chelsea to clear my mind. I reached the garden flat, adorned with pots of brash red geraniums that matched the vintage-effect door, and rapped the brass lion-head knocker. How William. This was his private oasis away from our dysfunctional family, which he’d bought outright once his photography career took off.
The door opened, and I was greeted by Kim. Her friendly expression immediately turned to anger. “Why the hell are you here?”
“Hi, Kim,” I said with surprise. William didn’t mention they were dating. He never had women over his unless they were guaranteed to leave before breakfast. “Is my brother around?”
“Sounds like you said quite enough to him last night. And as for Nancy—”
“Have you spoken to her this morning? Is she okay?”
Kim folded her arms. “No, Alex, okay is not how I’d describe her.”
William approached from the kitchen, matching Kim’s defensive stance.
“William, I need to speak to you.”
He shrugged. “I’m right here.”
“In private.”
“You can say what you need to on the doorstep.”
“Very well.” I went to sign.
“No, I want you to speak it.”
I suppressed the urge to pull rank with my little brother and instead sucked up my pride. “William, you were a gentleman to Nancy last night while I behaved like a prick. I should have thanked you for taking care of her. Hell, you did a lot better job protecting her than I have this last week. I’m a dickhead, and I apologise for swearing at you and becoming physical. I’m your big brother, not some jealous thug.”
William took a few seconds to enjoy the superiority of the moment. “You are a dickhead of the highest order, but I forgive you. Now, what the hell were you thinking?”
I looked at Kim, who seemed partially satisfied. She turned to William. “I’ll watch the food, babe.”
“Thanks, you’re the best.” William smiled affectionately.
“Kim, is Nancy at home?”
“I’m not telling you shit, Alex,” she threw back without looking and left for the kitchen.
I switched to BSL. “It was a rough night after a rough week. I know that’s no excuse for my behaviour, but it is the reason.”
“You left Nancy to the wolves last night. I thought you’d decided not to bring her. You know who’s lurking around at these events, and they like nothing more than fresh meat when they’re looking for entertainment.”
“What do you mean? What did you see?”
“I didn’t see anything, but Nancy told me Max and Theo accosted her in the bar, tried to solicit her, then touched her.”
“They fucking what!” Heat rose in my neck. “I’ll give them a bloody hiding!”
“Already done,” William grinned. “I caught the twits snorting coke in the gents. Let’s just say they didn’t leave for some time. In fact, they may still be there.” His expression darkened. “They were mumbling something about being paid off.”
“Paid off by whom?”
“They were too wasted to get any more out of them.”
“Mmm,” I considered. “And what about the introduction to Mother?”
William looked uncomfortable. “Mother put her foot in it somewhat…”
“Oh god, I thought that may have been the case. What did she say?”
“Called Nancy ‘feisty’, and then tried to touch her hair.”
“For god’s sake!” I threw my hands up in disbelief. “Was she high on Valium again?”
“When isn’t she?” William sighed.
“Well, that explains why Nancy was angry, but not why she ran off upset.”
“What do you mean ‘ran off upset’?”
“We went to the ballroom to dance before leaving, and then she said she needed to go to the bathroom. The next thing I knew, the cloakroom attendant told me she’d left crying, and when I followed her back to World’s End, her mother said she didn’t want to speak to me. Something must have happened in that bathroom, and I want to know what. Are you sure the twits couldn’t have tried something?”
“It would be unlikely,” he considered. “Plus, I made the repercusssions very clear if they did. They’d have to be mad to try it on with her again.”
“I suppose. Did you see or hear anything else?”
“No, I was with Mother and Catherine at the end of the night. Why the hell were you speaking to Catherine for the entire evening anyway?”
“She was guilt-tripping me that Mimi was too embarrassed to attend the gala because I’d decided to bring Nancy, as if she’s the victim in all this!” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Then I got the usual earful from Mother about everything the Tovertons owe the Preston-Blacks after Father’s scandal.”
William grimaced. “I don’t envy you.”
“No, me neither, but it’s the way it is. I’m not having Nancy brought into it, though.”
“It sounds like she already is… You have told her about everything, haven’t you?”
I wavered. “Not everything. How much baggage can you put on a new relationship before it breaks?”
William placed a hand on my shoulder. “It’ll break because you weren’t honest with her. She cares about you, but she’ll have her limit.”
“When we talk, I’ll lay it out come hell or high water.” My phone rang and I answered, “Alex Toverton.”
“Lord Toverton, it’s Nathan at the front desk. You asked me to contact you if Ms Cooper arrived at the apartment. She took the rear entrance up to number eight a few minutes ago.”
“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll come now.” I ended the call. “I’ve got to go. Nancy’s at the apartment. Are we okay?”
“Yeah, of course, you’re not much of a threat anyway.” William tilted his head. “Must be your old age.”
“Cheeky bugger!” I grinned. “Enjoy your date.”
“A beef roast with a beautiful woman. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
“You’re cooking a Sunday roast?”
“Yep, and you’re not invited. Good luck!” William finished blithely and closed the door on my disappointed face.
At a sprint, I reached the apartment building in under ten minutes. A handful of reporters were at the front shouting questions, but I ignored them, pushing past into the reception.
“Nathan was sitting behind the desk. “She hasn’t left yet, Lord Toverton.”
“Thanks, Nathan.” I stepped into the lift and took a deep breath as it rose, readying myself for the confrontation. When I opened the door, I was greeted by AJ, arms crossed like a bouncer.
“Nancy’s only come to get her things. She doesn’t wanna see you.”
“Get out my way!” I pushed past, but he grabbed my arm.
“Not a chance, raasclaat! I told you what I’d do if you hurt her.”
I rounded on him. “I’ve had just about enough of your bullshit.”
“You wanna go, you stuck-up prick?” AJ slammed me into the wall.
I pushed away, enraged by the surprise attack, and grabbed his broad shoulders, shoving him back into the dining table with a crack. AJ pushed off and swung wildly. I blocked, then punches were thrown anywhere we could get a cheap shot. I hit AJ with a body blow that left him gasping, but he countered with an uppercut that had me tasting blood. Before we could take it to a conclusion, Evan appeared and restrained AJ against the dining table.
Nancy and Jemima rushed in from the bedroom. “AJ!” Jemima ran over. “Let him go!”
“Who’s this fucking spook!” AJ tried to fight free from Evan’s firm hold.
Evan eyed him curiously but didn’t shift. “You need to calm down, boyo.”
“Fuck you! I ain’t no ‘boyo’!” AJ struggled in vain despite Evan’s much smaller size.
I looked into Nancy’s eyes and saw the hours of crying in their redness. She was carrying her suitcase in both hands. My chest seized at the familiar sight I’d barely considered with my previous girlfriends.
“Let him go,” I reiterated to Evan. AJ brushed down his clothes, looking fierce.
“You need your man to look after you? Pathetic!”
“AJ, stop,” Nancy said in a shaky voice. “We’re leaving anyway.”
“Nancy, please. Tell me what happened last night?”
“Unfuckingbelievable!” Jemima said, but my attention was only on Nancy’s harrowed face. I took a step towards her.
“Don’t come near me,” she hissed.
I held up my hands, trying to appease her. “Nancy, whatever it is, we can sort it out.”
“There’s nothing to say, and even if there was, I couldn’t believe a word.”
