Whatever It Takes, page 3
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Emily asked, surprised to see Sarah hadn’t brought anything with her at all.
“I’ve been snacking at my desk. It’s been one of those days.” Meaning she was stressed. Sarah always ate when she was stressed.
And Emily was pretty sure she knew where the stress was coming from. “Look, I don’t mean to cause waves or anything, I just want to know where we stand so we both can go on with our lives.”
“Oh, like you did when you moved?” Sarah covered her mouth but it was too late. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”
“I deserve worse,” Emily said with a small smile. “If you need to yell at me, go ahead. If you need to rant or never speak to me again, that’s okay as well. I just wanted to apologize in person and to let you know that I never meant to ghost you the way I did.”
“So why did you?”
“I wish I knew.” It was the same thing Emily had been trying to figure out ever since she got back. “I also have no idea why I applied for a job here when I could’ve waited to get a job somewhere else.”
“Teaching was your dream,” Sarah reminded her, “and you always said you’d want to do it here.”
At least that much was true. “I was surprised when Jess told me you were teaching. What happened to veterinary school?”
Sarah shrugged. “It got too complicated. I have a passion for animals and their anatomy, but I can’t stand to see them
when they’re in pain. I was fine until I had to intern. It’s pretty brutal. At least here, the worst thing I’ll get to witness is heartbreak.”
“And you’re teaching animal sciences?”
“Bio,” Sarah said with a nod.
“Strange how they have our classes across from each other,” Emily said after giving it some thought.
“The room was available,” Sarah said matter-of-factly.
“It’s as simple as that. We already have a handful of English classes, which I’m assuming is what you picked.”
“Creative writing, actually. What used to be in my room?”
“Astrology.” Sarah smiled when Emily looked at her then.
“I know, right? Man, I aced that class back when we had it.”
“I still can’t remember most of the constellations, but it was a lot of fun,” Emily agreed. “Way better than bio.” She gave Sarah a pointed look but her smile gave her away.
“That’s only because I wasn’t teaching it. I’m more hands-on than Mr. Garber used to be.”
“Oh god, Mr. Garber.” He’d had one of the worst monotone voices Emily had ever experienced. “Staying awake was a challenge.”
“It was. Then again, reading from the textbook isn’t really how you’re supposed to teach. Anyway…” Sarah released a long breath, then turned to face her. “As much as I like looking back on boring classes and how things have changed between then and now, there’s something I have to ask.”
“Shoot.”
“Why didn’t you visit?” Sarah’s voice was softer now and much lower than before.
She hadn’t spoken the words, but Emily could almost hear her say ‘you could’ve visited.’ Looking at Sarah now with her bunched shoulders and averted gaze, it was easy to see that she’d not only wanted Emily to visit but had expected her to.
How long did she wait for Emily before giving up? Would she ever forgive Emily at all?
Sarah went on when she didn’t say anything. “I thought after five years you would’ve come back. You would’ve had a car and a driver’s license.”
“What about you?” Emily asked, immediately wishing she hadn’t.
“I had no idea where you were.” Sarah spoke through clenched teeth.
“You could’ve asked Jess.”
“I asked your aunt,” Sarah fumed, getting to her feet. “She gave me the wrong address. My letters were returned, remember?” She released a frustrated breath, then turned on her heels to go. “I was wrong to come here.”
“How come?” Emily asked, standing up to join her but stopping before she could reach out for Sarah’s arm.
“Because I’m not doing this with you. I’m not going to take the blame for how things fell apart. This is on you. You could’ve written or called. You could’ve let me know you were okay. Instead, you left me behind and never looked back.”
“I didn’t leave you,” Emily said in a thin whisper, fighting back her tears which had already made their way into her voice.
“Sure as hell seems like you did. I came here in hopes of putting everything behind us, but you couldn’t just leave it alone. I asked you a simple question. You could’ve just said you were too busy or that you had a crappy car, not turn the blame on me. If I knew where you were staying, if I’d known
—”
“You would’ve stayed here,” Emily finished for her, knowing the truth even though Sarah refused to admit it. “You had a life here, one that went on long after I left.”
“But I didn’t have you with me. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a new best friend when you’re fourteen?”
Of course she did! “Moving to a new area made it pretty much impossible.” And I never replaced you. She could never replace Sarah. Just the thought of doing so made her sick to the stomach.
“Yeah, well, staying back here wasn’t any better.” Sarah checked her watch, then took a step back. “Lunch is over in five minutes. I’m going to go to my room and cool down.
Don’t follow me.”
She didn’t have to say it twice, the edge in her voice warning Emily to leave her be.
Emily had screwed up. Again.
And this time, Emily knew there was no coming back from it.
Chapter Five
“You have two more weeks until your permission slips are due for our trip to New York,” Emily said as she walked around the room. “Anyone without a slip will join the eighth graders for the day. This means you don’t get a day off, so I suggest getting the slip signed so you can get out and enjoy the fresh air.”
With that, Emily returned to her place at the front of the class. It was hard to believe she’d be chaperoning a bunch of kids with the other teachers through a small portion of New York. She’d gone on the same trip back when she and Sarah were in the seventh grade. It was still one of her happiest moments when it came to school because she spent the entire bus ride writing in her notebooks.
The trip wasn’t that bad, either, but having the freedom to either sleep on the way there or to work on her creative writing? She’d pick writing every single time.
“Will you be going?” someone asked, pulling Emily from her thoughts.
“I’m sorry?” She looked up from her notes for the day’s lesson which she’d placed in the middle of her desk.
“Will you be going with us?” Katie asked again with a little more confidence than before.
“Of course. All of the teachers are going.”
“Then you’ll get to meet my mom,” Katie said with pride as she sat back in her chair.
“I will,” Emily agreed, “and then I’ll get to meet everyone’s parents for our parent-teacher conference next month.” Half of the students groaned, most of them hiding their heads under hoods or behind books. “I promise it isn’t that bad. Besides, those conferences are mostly so I can answer questions, so the only one who should be nervous is
me.” Emily managed a small smile, relieved when a large portion of the class relaxed.
She totally understood their anxiety, but until she saw anyone who needed improvement, there honestly wasn’t anything bad for her to report. Some of the students may have struggled a tiny bit in the beginning, but many of them had already shown improvement since the beginning of the year.
And with the Internet at their fingertips, there were countless websites Emily suggested they use whenever they got confused.
Unfortunately, her relationship with Sarah hadn’t gotten any better. After their short talk in the courtyard, Emily hadn’t spoken to her since. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to but rather she had no idea what to say. They mumbled hellos in the hallway and even asked about each other’s day, but those things were for the sake of their students and nothing more.
Jess kept insisting she try again, but when it came to Sarah, Emily knew it would be best to give her some space. So she waited, and as she did, the leaves changed and the air outside got a lot cooler. Soon, she wouldn’t be able to sit in the courtyard at all because there’d be snow on the ground.
Emily released a long sigh, running on auto-pilot as she went over the next homework assignment.
All the while, she thought about the upcoming trip to New York and the possibility of working alongside Sarah. It was a far off possibility but one all the same.
Emily smiled. She had one more chance.
The last time Emily rode on a Coach bus, she’d been in the ninth grade on her way to DC. The students she helped chaperone today would get to go on that very same trip in another two years, but for now, New York was just as good. So after taking roll and grabbing some last-minute permission slips from the students that didn’t want to get left behind, she shuffled into the first of three buses at the front of the school.
She froze as soon as she spotted Sarah sitting in one of the front seats. Sarah looked almost as surprised as she was, her shoulders tense.
“I’ll get the next one,” Emily managed, gesturing back the way she came.
As soon as the parents finished getting on, she walked back outside, practically walking into Katie who was in line for the next bus alongside her mother.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I turned so fast, I didn’t see you there.”
Emily released a nervous laugh. “I’m Emily, Katie’s creative writing teacher,” Emily said, shaking the other woman’s hand.
“Morgan, and it’s so lovely to meet you. Katie can’t stop talking about your class. She loves it.”
“I’m glad. She reminds me of how I was at her age.”
“Anything I should be worried about?” Morgan asked, leaning in as she pretended to whisper.
“Just be prepared for long nights where she stays up to write on her computer. She’s extremely passionate when it comes to my lessons, so I’m sure she has the bug just as badly as I do.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Morgan smiled, then followed Katie onto the bus so they could find a place to sit down.
“That went well,” Emily said if only to herself, taking a breath to calm her nerves but not before glancing back at Sarah’s bus.
Today’s gong to be a long day.
Unlike the first time she visited New York, Emily wasn’t allowed to write in her notebooks or take a two-hour nap like a lot of her students decided to do. Instead, she mingled with the rest of the staff on her bus along with three of the parents that had decided to join them. Katie’s mother was the loudest of the bunch, sounding just as passionate about her work as Katie had been about her writing.
Emily wasn’t lying when she said Katie reminded her of herself. She was almost identical to how she’d been around
that time, from sitting in the front row and asking questions whenever she could, to working on assignments during the few quiet moments in class.
She was becoming one of Emily’s best students as well as one of her favorites. Emily didn’t want to pick favorites. It wasn’t really something she was supposed to do, but with the amount of energy Katie put out, it was hard not to catch the itch.
Emily envied her. If only she could go back to the seventh grade and experience creative writing for the first time all over again. Not just her tiny scribbles and stories she made up as a kid, but real creative writing where she spent more time writing compared to everything else.
She slept, ate, and breathed the words, getting up at odd hours during the night when something new popped into her head. It was something that happened even now, though not nearly as often as it once did. It also wasn’t like she’d have anything good to write considering the negativity that continued to surround her thoughts.
She swore things would get better between her and Sarah.
If not, at least it’d get easier.
Only it never did.
Every day that went by was just as awkward as the last, and after two months, Emily started to look elsewhere. If she could find another job in the area, she’d take it. There was only so much rejection she could take, and Sarah had given her enough to last a lifetime.
“Here we are,” Morgan, Katie’s mom, said as soon as the bus rolled into the parking lot. “I can’t wait for you to see that wonderful view.”
Emily smiled then, looking back on her time inside the Statue of Liberty. The climb was the worst part as the stairs were incredibly narrow the higher up they went. Emily had a feeling that hadn’t changed, which was why she’d packed a pair of sneakers for the climb instead of using the heels she usually had on.
Glancing down at Morgan’s feet, she’d clearly had the same idea.
“You can never be too careful,” Morgan said, catching Emily when she thought she wasn’t looking. “I foolishly wore heels my first time here. I ended up tripping up the steps far from any place I could sit down.”
Emily winced. “Did you break anything?”
“Besides my pride and a touch of dignity? Thankfully, no, but it could’ve gone a lot worse. I’ve stuck with my tennis shoes ever since.”
“I can’t say I blame you. I just remember how difficult that climb is so… yeah.” Emily gestured at her shoes and left it at that.
As soon as they stepped off the bus, they joined everyone else, following Chris who’d volunteered to take the lead. A bright orange bag hung from his shoulder, holding any of the first aid supplies they might need. Emily hoped it was just a precaution and not something they brought based on experience.
She would’ve asked Sarah what to expect as a teacher on this trip, but considering she still refused to talk to her…
Emily sighed, rolled back her shoulders, then brought up the back of the line, making sure all of the kids were in front of her as they slowly entered the museum. It was strange, Emily realized, for there to be such a thing in the base of the Statue of Liberty. She couldn’t remember walking through it in her childhood. Then again, at the time, she was more focused on reaching the torch more than anything else.
The museum itself included photos, the statue’s history, as well as a tiny replica of the torch itself. Soon, they’d all be inside of it, looking out at the area far below.
Once they met up with a tour guide, Emily took her time looking around the room. Half-listening to some of the facts the guide had to offer (such as how many steps there were), she noticed Sarah standing off to the side and already looking miserable.
Knowing it wasn’t her place to ask, Emily approached her anyway. “You okay?”
Sarah jumped at the sound of Emily’s voice, releasing a breath once she realized who she was. “Yeah. Dumb shoelace snapped when I was putting it on.” She glanced down at her feet and a shoe that was looser than the other one.
“Here.” Emily dug through the backpack she’d brought along with her before removing an extra pair of shoes from its depths.
“You do realize we don’t wear the same size,” Sarah said, cocking an eyebrow at her.
“I do,” Emily agreed, “but laces are one-size-fits-all.”
Emily smiled and removed the laces from one of her spare shoes before handing them over to Sarah. “I brought a second pair in case I muck these up, but if I really need to, I can reuse the laces from one of the shoes I’m wearing.”
Sarah held up the laces and managed a small smile.
“Thanks. And hey, I’m sorry if I’ve been a total brat. It’s just hard, you know?”
Emily nodded gently. “I do, and before you say anything, I know not to get my hopes up. I’m a realist now.” She forced a smile, but considering the way Sarah looked just then, she wasn’t convinced. “Anyway, we should get in there. It’s a brutal climb.”
“354 steps worth.” Sarah finished lacing her shoe, then threw the old laces in the trash. “Thanks again. I couldn’t do this without a good pair of shoes.”
“That makes two of us.”
With Sarah sorted and her mind set on the tour ahead, Emily returned to her place at the back of the crowd, ushering the kids forward as they neared the bottom of the stairwell.
The staircases were complex, spiraling upward with small windows around the outside.
They looked a lot smaller than Emily remembered, but then she’d been a lot smaller the last time she was here.
The rest of the tour went as expected with short breaks halfway up the statue as well as once they reached the torch.
The view was just as beautiful as Emily remembered. The only difference between now and what she’d experienced twenty years ago was that Sarah was nowhere to be found.
Deciding she was already on her way back down, Emily continued with the tour until they reached the museum. Once inside, the kids were allowed to walk around, browsing the gift shops for any souvenirs they’d like to take home.
“Five minutes, everyone,” Chris called over the large crowd. “We’ll be heading back to the bus in five minutes, then we’ll break for lunch before checking out the rest of the area.”
Emily’s stomach growled at the mention of food. She’d been so focused on the trip that she’d completely forgotten her breakfast. By the time she realized it, they were halfway to New York. Lunch was just the pick-me-up she’d need to get through the rest of the day. Not that it wasn’t going well, but it would certainly help.
She smiled as soon as she noticed Sarah walking out of the museum toward the buses out front.
Shoelaces, she thought with a laugh. Of all the things to break the ice between them, it was the shoelaces that allowed Emily to approach Sarah without immediately getting shot down.
It was a start.
Chapter Six
Going down her list of names, there was one face Emily couldn’t see. “Devon Wright?” She glanced around the bus, waiting for his head to pop up. It never did.
