Whatever It Takes, page 11
Emily brushed the hair out of Sarah’s eyes as she spoke.
“Don’t let the fear of screwing things up hold you back.”
When Sarah looked at her again, Emily smiled. “What? Do you honestly think you’re the only one who’s afraid of making a mistake? Trust me, I’ve done my fair share of fretting already.”
“When? In the car?” Emily seemed so put together that Sarah hadn’t even noticed.
“In the car, at work, here… I’m always weighing the pros and cons, you know that.”
“Oh?” Sarah asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.
“And how are we doing on that list? More pros, cons, or somewhere in between?”
“Your answer is cloudy, try again later.”
Sarah laughed at that, then sunk in Emily’s embrace. “I’ve wanted to do this all day,” she said, not moving from where they were on the front lawn. “It’s such a simple thing, and yet it felt like the hardest thing to do. I never used to care, only now—”
“You want to do it right. I think we aren’t so different in that respect. Dating strangers is a lot easier, I think, when compared to dating a friend. You have a lot more to risk and just as much to lose. Then again, I tend to overanalyze these things, so what do I know?”
Emily’s warm smile was all the reassurance Sarah needed.
In the next moment, she placed her hand on the nape of Emily’s neck, pulling them together until their lips almost touched. With Emily standing just a breath away and Sarah’s
mind swimming with possibilities, she dipped her head and joined Emily in a tentative kiss.
Slow at first, it was just as exhilarating as their very first time. Sarah’s heart beat hard and fast, skipping when Emily’s hold on her tightened even more.
It was then, standing in the middle of her lawn, when Sarah feared she might be leaning heavily to one side, righting herself as the world slowly fell in and out of focus. She still knew where they were, and even though she wasn’t big on public displays of affection, she didn’t stop.
Shielded by Emily’s arms, Sarah didn’t care who might be watching them, allowing herself to live in the moment just a little longer until Emily finally pulled them apart.
“Maybe we should take this inside,” Emily said as she pressed their foreheads together. “We don’t want to upset your neighbors.”
“Who? Mr. O’Riley?” Sarah asked. “He’s been begging me to date again. Apparently, I mope around the house too much.” Sarah gestured at one of the houses across the way.
“As for that couple over there, they do a lot more than kiss on the front lawn.”
Emily’s eyes widened. “As long as they’re having fun, I guess.” She shrugged, then followed Sarah inside where they could sit down without being disturbed. “I’m surprised you were okay with it. It took me ages just to get you to hold my hand in the halls.”
“That was in seventh grade,” Sarah reminded her as she dropped her things on the kitchen table, “and it was awkward because we’d never done it before.”
“But the kiss?” Emily asked with the lift of her brows.
“It’s still new,” Sarah admitted, hoping the heat on her cheeks wasn’t as noticeable to Emily as it was to her, “but I wanted to do it. I’ve been wanting to kiss you again since I saw you this morning.”
“Yeah, but doing anything inside the school is definitely a big no-no.”
“I agree, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about it.”
Sarah turned to her and placed her hands on Emily’s hips, pulling them together a second later. “Does it bother you, knowing you were on my mind all day?”
“No,” Emily said in a thin whisper, “mostly because I was doing the same thing.” Emily wrapped her arms around Sarah and placed her head on Sarah’s shoulder. “So were you really offering to help me prep for this dance, or was it just your way of getting me to come to your house?”
“I fed you,” Sarah reminded her, “and I always keep my promises. The dance itself is… well, it’s an experience and won’t be nearly as good as if we’d gone when we were kids,”
Sarah explained, pulling back so she could meet Emily’s gaze.
“I really wish you were there.”
“Did you still go?” Emily asked, letting go of Sarah so they could sit down at the kitchen table.
Sarah lifted her shoulder in a partial shrug, then went over to the fridge to take out a bottle of wine. She didn’t drink it as much as she did when they were young, but on nights like tonight, she needed the extra courage. Just thinking back on the night of their dance—the one Emily had begged her to go to—made Sarah sick to the stomach.
“I was there, but I wasn’t,” Sarah said as she sat back down at the table. “It was so soon after you left that it was hard for me to sit in that gym and not see you somewhere in the crowd. You didn’t go with me, but my head kept playing games, insisting you were somewhere in the middle of the crowd.”
“Me? In the middle of a crowd?” Emily smiled. “I’m a wallflower, remember? I never did anything without you.”
Sarah offered her a nod, then passed Emily the bottle in case she needed a little extra courage as well. If Emily was anything like the girl she remembered from her childhood, she’d drink, then she’d wrinkle her nose at the taste.
Emily took the bottle, smelled its contents, then took a small sip. Her reaction didn’t disappoint.
“God, I can’t believe you like this stuff.” Emily held out the bottle, scrutinizing the label before handing it back to Sarah. “I also can’t believe your mom let you have that stuff.”
“Only a small glass,” Sarah reminded her, “and only on rummy night. I guess it’s an acquired taste.”
“That, beer, and everything else. I can’t even drink those carbonated waters without making a face.”
“But you still drink soda.”
“That’s different,” Emily told her. “I’ve been drinking it for as long as I can remember.”
“You always were the picky one.”
Getting Emily to stay over for dinner unless there was a cookout or a pizza involved was close to impossible. Sarah had always gone over there. Granted, it couldn’t be helped considering how quiet and reserved her folks were. After her dad died, there wasn’t much else Sarah could do if she wanted to see her friend.
Realizing she was staring and that Emily still hadn’t said anything, Sarah put the wine aside and managed a small smile.
“I know you’re going to obsess over it, but the dance isn’t that big of a deal. Maybe it was back when we were kids, but as an adult, all you have to do is keep the kids apart.”
“I doubt it’ll be that easy.”
“Hardly,” Sarah said. “The rules that applied back during our first dance still apply here. Kids dancing with each other need to stand six inches apart.”
Emily choked back a laugh. “These kids? They do worse things in the back of the classroom.”
Sarah nodded in agreement. “Yes, but only when they think we aren’t looking. Inside the gym, you’ll be in charge of keeping all of their hormones in check, which means breaking them up when you see the need to do so.”
“But how can you slow dance and stand six inches apart?”
“Easy,” Sarah said, pushing out her chair before urging Emily to do the same. Wedged between the kitchen table and stove, Sarah reached for her phone so she could turn some music on. The song that played wasn’t one she would’ve picked, but it would do for now. “Dancing six inches apart isn’t hard,” Sarah said as she placed her hands around Emily’s neck, smiling when Emily placed her hands on Sarah’s hips.
“Although, anyone who does that will have to be corrected.”
She was looking at Emily’s hands, her warm, soft hands that slowly made their way behind her back.
“Better?” Emily batted her eyes.
“Up a little higher.” Once she felt Emily’s hands in the middle of her back, she continued. “That’s as low as they’re allowed to go, but you see, we aren’t that close together.”
Emily eyed the space between them, then took a step forward. “But we can be.”
“We can,” Sarah said with a nod, holding Emily close as the two of them swayed from side to side, or at least the bit they could sway considering the tight quarters they were in.
“But if you see kids dancing this close or with their hands as low as you had yours, you’ll have to correct them.”
“And you actually think they’re going to listen to me?”
“Trust me, as soon as they hear you clear your throat, they’ll pull apart. They almost always do. They might be ramped up on hormones but they’ll still get embarrassed when an adult catches them dancing in the back of the room.”
“If the school is so against the kids being that close together, why play slow music at all?”
“It’s the winter formal,” Sarah said, “and every girl in that gym will have been dreaming of it since it was first announced. This isn’t just some random dance like earlier in the year, it’s the dance of the season. Kids will be talking about it weeks after it ends, so if we don’t have slow music, the kids will never go.”
“And the school could use the money,” Emily realized, chewing her bottom lip before speaking again. “I swear those
halls have the same coat of paint they did back when we were kids.”
“You’re probably right, but the money wouldn’t be for that. It’s for the football players. It almost always is.”
Emily rolled her eyes at that. “What we should really be teaching our kids is how to get their finances in order, not how to chase a ball and tackle each other as they run from one side of the yard to the other.”
“That’s high school, but you’re right. We should put more work into preparing them for the world outside these walls.
Instead, we cram as much information into them as we can in the short time they’re here.”
“I gotta say, it might’ve sucked when we were kids with all we went through, but I’d hate to be a kid now. I hate giving assignments when I know they’re already burdened with so much homework. Some of these kids don’t even get to go outside once they’re off the bus. They have two parents working two jobs just to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Some of them have siblings to look after, but all of them have a mountain of homework waiting for them once they get home. I’m honestly not sure who goes home with more work, us or them.”
“Them. Definitely them. To be fair, our homework is for a subject we actually enjoy. I bet if you had to take notes home on world history you’d lose your mind.”
Emily cringed, then lay her head on Sarah’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I couldn’t go to the dance with you. You know I would’ve gone if I’d stayed.”
“I know,” Sarah said, holding her close as she closed her eyes. “It was kind of lame anyway. Half the streamers didn’t stay up for even a small portion of the night. The DJ they hired was also a real bore. He played the same twelve songs over and over again and just stood there staring at the kids. It was kind of creepy, actually.”
“They don’t use the same one, do they?”
“Thankfully, no. Though I can see why you’d think that.
The district as a whole is rather cheap, but I guess they still value the kids a little bit, or at least enough to get some decent music in there.”
“Then I can’t wait.” When Sarah looked at her, she continued. “I know I won’t get to experience my first dance the way it was intended, but I’m still excited.”
“Oh? And why is that?”
“Because,” Emily said with a huge smile on her face. Her hold on Sarah tightened as she spoke. “I finally get to see you in a dress.”
“Oh, I don’t think—”
“It’s a formal dance, right? That means we get to dress up as well. I’ve been imagining you in a dress ever since you first mentioned it, so you’d better not disappoint.”
It wasn’t that Sarah hated dresses, only that she had no need for them. Still, if it would make Emily happy…
“I’ll see what I can do,” Sarah said, swallowing around her nerves when Emily looked at her again, “but I’m not making any promises.”
Emily frowned and looked like she was about to say something but thought better of it. Instead, she pushed Sarah a few steps back so they weren’t confined between the table and the stove anymore. It took Sarah a moment to realize what was happening, almost losing her footing when she bumped into the kitchen sink.
Emily held her up, steadying her before running her hand through Sarah’s hair, pulling back on her ever so slightly until their lips finally touched. It wasn’t quite a kiss, but it was still enough for Sarah’s heart to race.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this,” Sarah said, her voice shaking the slightest bit as Emily held her in place.
“Like what?” Emily asked, her voice dipping so low that it caused goosebumps to form all over Sarah’s arms.
“This. Assertive. In control.”
“That’s because I am,” she said, her voice thick and sexy as hell. “I might change my mind most of the time, but if there’s one thing I’ve always wanted, it’s you. This. Us.” She shook her head, clearly struggling for words. “You know what I mean.”
“Aw, my little writer’s having a hard time.”
Emily playfully punched her in the arm. “I am not.”
“You were,” Sarah said with a laugh, kissing her on the lips a second later. “It’s cute. It’s also nice to know I won’t be the only one getting tongue-tied at times.”
“It was a one-time thing,” Emily assured her, placing her hands on Sarah’s hips as they stepped closer together.
“Oh? And what about this?” Sarah asked, her body shaking as she leaned in to kiss Emily again. “Is this a one-time thing as well?”
Emily smiled into her kiss, deepening it as they slowly made their way through the kitchen to the steps leading up toward Sarah’s room. Vaguely aware of her surroundings, Sarah stopped at the bottom of the stairs, her breath catching when Emily’s tongue swept over her own.
She’d kissed women dozens of times before, but this was different. This wasn’t just them experimenting with each other or some drunken accident. This was something Sarah had wanted to do for as long as she could remember. It was also something she regretted not doing when she had the chance so many years ago.
“Did you want to talk more about the dance or—”
“Get upstairs,” Emily murmured between kisses. “Or I’ll carry you up there myself.”
Sarah’s laugh came as a complete surprise, her small snort turning into a fit of giggles as she and Emily made their way up the steps. When Emily paused outside her bedroom door, the look in her eyes was all the explanation Sarah needed.
In the next moment, Emily was in her arms again, her body so close and so warm that it was hard for Sarah to decide
where one of them ended and the other began.
With her phone still playing music downstairs, Sarah lost herself in the moment, folding under the wave that was Emily.
This was where she belonged. It might’ve taken them twenty years to find their way back to each other again, but now that Emily was here, Sarah planned to make the most of it, starting with a tentative kiss and a bed that had always been meant for two.
Chapter Fifteen
As a kid, Emily never had the chance to see the school transform before the winter dance, so as soon as they pulled into the parking lot, she found herself staring at the ribbons and clusters of balloons. The Halloween decorations couldn’t compare to the blue and white ribbons scattered all over the school. Between those, the balloons tied out front on the ends of the railings, and a variety of silver stars hanging from the ceiling once she and Sarah walked inside, she almost didn’t recognize the school at all.
The same could be said for the woman walking at her side.
Decked out in a slim navy blue gown with her hair curled at the ends, Sarah looked nothing like the woman she’d spoken to earlier that day. Sarah rarely wore dresses, and when she did, it had always been for a special occasion, the winter formal clearly being one of them.
“What?” Sarah asked when she caught Emily staring at her all over again. “You asked me to do it, so—”
“Sorry,” Emily said, quickly averting her gaze as heat filled her cheeks. “I’m just not used to seeing you in a dress is all.” You look beautiful. Emily swallowed hard, keeping the last bit to herself as some of the other teachers walked by.
“That makes two of us,” Sarah said, stepping in line beside Emily as they made their way to the teachers’ lounge where they could safely lock away their things. “To be fair, it isn’t as bad as what my mom had me wear for my uncle’s wedding. I made sure there were no itchy bits.”
Emily smiled at that, adjusting the short sleeves of her peach evening gown once she removed her coat. Like Sarah, she’d decided to wear her hair up, adding a touch of Baby’s Breath just above her hair tie to finish things off. Her white heels weren’t an exact match, but with her gown barely touching the floor, she had a feeling no one else would notice.
“You two realize this isn’t a formal event, right?” Chris asked when he entered the teachers’ lounge behind them.
“Says the guy who looks for any reason to wear a suit,”
Sarah said as she looked back at him, smiling as she did. “Did Mike come with you tonight?”
“Mike?” Emily asked as she looked between them. I’ve heard that name before.
“My partner,” Chris said as he fixed the ends of his blazer.
“Sadly, he has to work tonight, otherwise he would’ve joined me in the coatroom.”
Emily sympathized. “I hear that’s the most exciting gig around.”
“I wish. Then again, it’s probably best.”
“Bad dancer?” Emily asked. That makes two of us.
“Hardly,” Sarah said before Chris could do the same. “He’s amazing, but then the kids end up watching him instead of enjoying a dance that we set up for them. Anyway, I should probably get down there and see where they need me. Maybe I’ll get lucky and get to stay on the dance floor with you.”
