Rachael's Decision, page 18
“Will you tell me what he wanted to discuss? Let’s not keep secrets from each other. They create distance, and I’m working hard to win you back.” Caleb sat next to her on the settee and shifted his body toward her.
She should have known he’d insist. She would’ve done the same in his shoes. She had nothing to hide. “Nathan proposed again. Frannie told him we were no longer courting.”
“What?” Caleb huffed.
“Don’t be upset. I said no. He was thinking of Joy and Thad. He wants a mamm for them, and I’m the most reasonable choice since we have a history together before I met you. I’m surprised he asked me to wed him again, but it doesn’t matter. I declined. I didn’t want to tell you. I don’t want you to be upset with Nathan. You’ll run into him at socials and Sunday services.”
“The nerve of him, and I’m frustrated with Frannie for telling him about us. She’s such a conniver.” Caleb’s jaw clenched. “How could my bruder marry such an aggravating and cunning woman? I’ll never understand it. Rachael, you have to believe me when I say I could never consider her. My obligation ends at making sure she and Lily are taken care of, which doesn’t mean I have to become her husband.”
“The more she shows how desperate she is to have you, the more I understand why it would be difficult for any man to consider a lifetime with her.” She’d be cordial to Frannie, but she would keep her distance. The woman was trouble.
“Regardless of what Frannie or Nathan want, I believe God had us meet and showed us what we can have together by falling in love. Please, Rachael, I beg you. Marry me.” He held her hands to his heart.
She blinked back tears. “My decision is difficult for me also, but I can’t help but think it’s the right one. You’ll forgive me when you have kinner. I’m sure of it.” She closed her eyes to block out the utter sadness and disappointment in his eyes. She wanted to hold him and never let him go. She’d never erase this moment, no matter how hard she tried.
“I’m broken, frustrated, disappointed, and the list goes on. I’ll never love any woman the same as I love you.”
She shook her head. “You’re compromising something that means a great deal to you if we marry. I can’t let that happen.”
“Please don’t presume to tell me what I think and feel.”
She wiped tears from her eyes, then she took his shirts to the treadle sewing machine in the corner of the room. She was glad she had kept the needle threaded with dark blue thread because it was the color thread she needed for his shirts. He sat in silence as she worked. She repaired the two rips and passed him the clothing.
He clasped her hand. “I will wait for you as long as it takes to change your mind.” He kissed her forehead and left.
Rachael ran to her room, curled up on her bed, and wept. Caleb’s words had hurt. They’d hurt because they were true. She’d take his advice and search her heart and pray for guidance with an open mind.
* * *
Rachael sat across from Mamm at the kitchen table drinking her coffee on Saturday morning.
“Rachael, what more can you expect of Caleb? It’s not fair for you to make this decision on your own. Listen to him,” Mamm said.
Rachael traced the top of her coffee mug. “You haven’t seen his excitement when he talks about having a houseful of kinner, or the way he revels in playing with them.” She’d not forget the shock and utter sadness he showed in his eyes and expression last night. She’d wanted to hug his neck, tell him she’d marry him, and make them both happy. But she was torn between what Caleb had said last night and what she’d been convinced was best for them. She finished breakfast and left for the bakery.
Magdelena sprinkled sugar on top of her butter cookies. “Good morning.”
Rachael lost all her resolve and broke down in tears. She’d made a royal mess of everything by not being open and honest with Caleb from the beginning. She knew it.
Magdelena wiped her hands and hugged her. “What’s wrong?”
She sobered, pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve, and blew her nose. “Nathan asked me to marry him again. Frannie told him Caleb and I were no longer courting and added that I’m barren.”
“Please, Rachael. Don’t do this. Marry Caleb. Trust him. You’re both miserable without each other. Frannie is a poor example of a God-fearing woman. How dare she spread your personal business to Nathan and who knows who else.” Magdelena rubbed Rachael’s back.
She dropped her head to her chin and sighed. “I’m confused. All I want is what’s best for Caleb.”
Magdelena lifted Rachael’s chin. “Tell me you didn’t say yes to Nathan.”
“I declined. I would be making a big mistake if I married him. Being a mamm to his kinner isn’t enough reason to wed. We’re not in love.”
“Thank goodness. I would’ve had to talk you out of it. He’s not the answer. You’re putting too much emphasis on kinner. Marriage kummes first. Some Amish parents arrange marriages and the bride has no choice. You have the luxury of having a mamm who allows you to choose your groom. Couples love and support each other through good and hard times, including when they aren’t blessed with bopplis.”
Rachael lifted her apron from the hook and pulled it over her head. She tied the strings behind her back. “Magdelena, I understand you’re coaxing me to do what you think is best for me, but please stop. You’re making this more difficult for me if you do.”
Magdelena held up her palms. “All right. I’ll keep my mouth shut about this today, but no promises in the kumming days. I’m passionate about this. We’ve all observed how happy the two of you are together.”
“Let’s talk about what we’ll bake this morning to sell. I’ll make sugar cookies with peach jam in the center.”
She and Magdelena discussed recipes and how to tweak them for the next two hours as they baked.
“Time to open the shop. I’ll turn the sign and unlock the door.” Rachael opened the door for customers and Ellie entered. She hugged her. “Greetings, dear friend. Where’s your sweet dochder?”
“Emma is at Maryann’s. Her aunt wanted to spend time with her, and her little one, Betsy, adores her. I came to town to have a couple of minutes with you and Magdelena.”
Magdelena joined them. “Ellie, I’m glad you’re here. How are you?”
“Worn out. Emma’s a handful, but I love every minute of my time with her. Joel is a saint for putting up with me. How are you both?”
“We enjoy working here, and I find more reasons to fall in love with Toby every day. He’s such a romantic. For example, he leaves notes in the laundry or in the cupboard.” Magdelena blushed.
“You’re talking about my bruder?” Rachael chuckled.
Toby was a thoughtful and caring man, like her daed. His way of showing Magdelena he loved her didn’t surprise Rachael.
Magdelena gestured to Rachael. “Enough about me. Our friend is in turmoil.”
“Why?” Ellie frowned.
Rachael recounted to Ellie why she’d ended her courtship with Caleb and refused Nathan’s proposal. She would be eager to get this conversation out of the way. The story didn’t get any easier each time she told it.
Ellie smacked her hand on the table. Her eyes were wide. “No. No. No. You must fix this. There will be nothing you’ll regret more than not choosing Caleb.”
Her opinionated friend never withheld her thoughts. Of course, she would disagree and insist Rachael change her mind.
Rachael shook her head. “Ellie, please try to understand.”
“No. Caleb and you are already in love. Don’t make this complicated. It’s not.” Ellie huffed. “Magdelena, tell me you’re not going along with this.”
“You and I feel the same way, but she asked me to drop the subject, so I will respect her wishes.” She rested her hand on Rachael’s shoulder.
Ellie shook her head. “I won’t make the same promise. I love you too much.” She shook her head sadly, hugged them both, and left the bakery.
Rachael held her hands to her cheeks. “I hope Ellie won’t keep nagging at me to change my mind.” Her friend would make it her mission to change her mind. She would have to remain firm and show Ellie nothing she could do would alter her decision.
“Ellie’s protective of us. She means well.” Magdelena followed her to the kitchen, grabbed a tray of white bread loaves, and took them to the front of the bakery.
Rachael measured a teaspoon of cinnamon and dropped it in a bowl of flour. Had she already added the ingredient? She couldn’t concentrate. Her friends knew she was happiest when she was with Caleb. She knew it too. No wonder they didn’t agree with her decision. They didn’t understand the importance of kinner to her and Caleb. She had to stick to her conclusion and not theirs.
* * *
Caleb sat outside the barn on a weather-beaten chair he’d brought from his bruder’s haus. Stephen often sat on it in the barn. He missed their talks and working together. He wished he could talk to him about Rachael and Frannie. He wasn’t sure what Stephen would’ve expected of him where Frannie was concerned. Sometimes she was downright mean. He’d been absentminded all morning. Rachael had lost hope where they were concerned. He was annoyed she thought she knew what was better for him than he did. What more could he say to convince her?
Caleb stood and squinted against the sun. This should be an interesting visit.
Joel, Ellie’s husband, pulled his wagon near Caleb. He and Nathan jumped out. Joel tied the reins to a nearby tree.
Why would Joel bring Nathan here? Didn’t he know Nathan was the last person he wanted to visit him? “Greetings.”
Joel pointed to the porch. “Let’s sit. I’ve brought Nathan along with me to sort things out between you. Ellie visited Rachael today, and she came home upset over her ending your courtship, Caleb. I want to make sure you two men aren’t going to be in discord since you’re both interested in Rachael.”
Caleb crossed the yard with them, and his visitors sat in the two rocking chairs, while he chose the porch swing. He’d wait for Joel to strike up the conversation. He avoided looking at Nathan.
“Rachael told Ellie Nathan proposed and she declined. Ellie insists Rachael is still in love with you, Caleb. Do you both agree with this statement?”
“Yes.” Caleb stared at Nathan. “The minute Rachael broke off our courtship, you proposed to her. You didn’t even let the dust settle.” He had a difficult time liking Nathan, and this frustrated him even more.
“Yes. I didn’t want to take a chance some other man would capture her attention. We have a history. I could give her what you can’t. She was mine first.” Nathan didn’t avert looking straight at Caleb.
“You don’t own Rachael.” Caleb glowered at him.
“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” He gave Caleb a disgruntled look. “It doesn’t matter since she said no.”
“Of course, she did.” He didn’t like himself for arguing with Nathan. He should rise above this.
Rachael had turned Nathan down, and there was nothing more to discuss.
Joel raised his palms. “Let’s not let this conversation get heated. I’m here to create peace between you two.” He addressed Caleb. “Since Rachael is choosing neither of you, I’d like for you both to accept her decision and be cordial. Nathan, you’ve looked at Caleb with disdain, and Caleb, I’ve noticed you do the same. You don’t need to be best friends, but let’s get along.”
“I don’t want to be nasty or hold a grudge. I understand better than most of the men and women in this community why you chose her, but you asking her so soon was disrespectful to me. God has a woman planned for you. I don’t believe the woman is Rachael or you’d already be in love with each other.”
“I didn’t propose to her to disrespect you. You and she were no longer courting. What does it matter how long I waited to approach her?”
Joel held out his palms again. “Gentlemen, I agree with my fraa on this. We’ve been around Caleb and Rachael when they courted at after-church meals, and they couldn’t stop smiling. Their adoration for each other was apparent. Nathan, Rachael has made it clear she’s not interested in marrying you. You can understand why Caleb is holding out hope she’ll change her mind.”
Nathan crossed his arms against his chest. “I understand. It doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.” He took off his hat, stared at it, and traced the edges. “I can agree to be cordial.”
Joel narrowed his eyes. “‘Cordial’ means greeting each other at services and socials.”
“I’ll be cordial too,” Caleb mumbled.
Nathan stood. “I’m ready to go.”
“Wait a minute, Nathan.” Joel rose. “I’d like to pray before we leave.” He bowed his head and closed his eyes. “Dear Heavenly Father, you have a plan for our lives. Guide Rachael, Caleb, and Nathan through the Scriptures to discern your will for each of them. Help me and their friends to support them in the way You would have us do. Amen.”
Caleb raised his head. “Joel, danki for your concern. Nathan, I don’t know what more to say. I won’t apologize for loving Rachael.” He believed God would intervene. He hoped Nathan would take his focus off Rachael. Ava had shown interest in Nathan. She seemed like a kind woman who would be a good choice for Nathan. “I’m curious. Ava showed interest in you. What happened?”
“Ava is a kind and beautiful woman for any other man but me. Rachael was my choice.”
Caleb shrugged. He hoped Nathan would reconsider Ava and leave him and Rachael alone. “Understood.” Caleb held out his hand. God wouldn’t want him to hold a grudge against Nathan. He doubted they’d be best friends, but they should be cordial, as they’d agreed.
Nathan stayed stoic as he gripped Caleb’s hand and shook it.
Joel rose. “I hope we’ve erased at least some of the animosity between you two. I wanted to give you both a chance to state your positions and ease the tension. My door is always open if you’d like to discuss anything, including this matter. I’m a friend to you both, and I want what’s best for each of you.”
“Danki,” Nathan muttered.
“You’re a faithful friend, Joel. I appreciate your time.” Caleb waited on the porch as the men returned to Joel’s wagon and drove away. His best option was for God to work a miracle in Rachael’s heart. God could move mountains. He had faith God would do this.
He went inside, sliced a biscuit, and slapped a piece of ham on it. He stood at the counter and devoured it in three bites. He should visit Frannie and Luke. He hoped she hadn’t run him off. He harnessed his mare to the wagon and traveled to Frannie’s.
He rapped on the door, and Frannie answered, holding Lily on her hip. “Kumme in.”
“Unkie.” She reached for him.
Caleb held her. “From the crumbs on your face, I’d say you’ve had a cookie.”
Lily chuckled and nodded.
Frannie greeted him. “You have competition. Luke has won Lily’s heart. If you came here to talk to him, he’s out back sawing a tree he cut down into firewood.”
“I came to speak with you first, and then him. I understand you told Nathan Rachael was barren. It’s not your place to tell anyone about that.” He stared at her.
“Face the truth. You’re worried Nathan can give her what you can’t. Why, they may have gotten married if you hadn’t stolen her away from him.” She snickered.
“Your plan didn’t work. Nathan proposed and she said no. Stay out of Rachael’s and my business. Your motives aren’t pure and you need to stop interfering.” Caleb had grown tired of Frannie’s selfish and manipulative behavior.
She shrugged and turned her back on him.
Caleb frowned. “I’m going out to speak with Luke.”
He set Lily down and went out the back door. “Luke, how are you kumming along on the farm chores?” He might have to intervene if Frannie was wearing him out with inside chores.
“The crops are kumming along well, and I’m working into a routine.” Luke wiped sweat from his forehead with his shirtsleeve.
Frannie opened the back door. “I fixed sandwiches. Kumme inside.”
They washed their hands at the outside pump and went inside the haus. Frannie knew he wanted to talk to Luke. Why couldn’t she leave them alone for a couple of minutes? Was she afraid Luke would tell him he’d had enough of Frannie?
Frannie put Lily in her high chair. “Caleb, what did you say to Luke? You thought I was monopolizing Luke’s time, didn’t you?” She rolled her eyes. “I’m not.”
He ignored her comment. “Luke, do you need help with anything while I’m here?”
“No. Danki for asking.” Luke grinned.
“Ook.” Lily pointed at Luke.
Frannie added more applesauce to Lily’s bowl. “Luke doesn’t mind helping me with Lily and, as you can see, the outside work is getting done. Don’t you agree, Luke?”
“Yes. This little one is precious. I don’t mind helping with inside chores, and Lily is the highlight of my day.” He hurried to finish his sandwich and carried his plate to the sink. “I’ll be in back if you need me.” He left the room.
Frannie lifted her chin and batted her eyes. “Don’t think for one minute everything is fine. I’m still frustrated with you for making me beg you to marry me. I shouldn’t have to.”
“The answer is no, and it will remain so. Understood? And I’m upset with you for stirring up trouble by telling Nathan the minute Rachael and I were no longer courting.”
“She can be a mamm if she marries him. I was doing her and Nathan a favor.” Frannie scowled. “And no, I don’t understand. It should be you here and not Luke, and you know it.” Frannie lifted Lily from the high chair and bustled out of the room.
The woman was like a thorn in Caleb’s side. He took a step to follow her and scold her more. But what was the use? She didn’t listen. He headed outside. “Luke, do you have any concerns?” He was curious to talk to Luke away from Frannie. He found him by the cut tree he’d been working on earlier. “Frannie is used to being coddled. You can tell me if she’s too demanding, and I’ll speak with her.”
“She’s bossy and hardheaded, but I don’t mind. She’s also kind and taking care to cook meals and wash my clothes. I couldn’t ask for a better job. The shed is a comfortable place to live, and I enjoy farm work.”
