Rachael's Decision, page 11
“I could never turn my back on Stephen, no matter what his situation. I admire Joseph for caring for Adelaide. Is there anything we can provide for Adelaide?” Caleb hoped to marry Rachael at the end of their courtship, and Joseph would become a part of their family. He wanted to show support for Joseph.
“No. Not right now. How was your evening with Lily?”
“She’s a content boppli. She played with her toys. I changed her nappy, dressed her in her nightgown, and read her stories. I rocked her until she fell asleep and then carried her to bed. She was no trouble, and she makes me want lots of kinner. Frannie insisted they go to supper, and Stephen looked exhausted. He doesn’t have much stamina these days.”
“You’ll have to keep on him about going to Dr. Harrison.”
“I did take him to Dr. Harrison earlier in the day, and the doctor said his shortness of breath and irregular heartbeat disturbed him. He offered him aspirin powder for his aches and pains and said there isn’t much he can do for Stephen. He told him not to overexert himself. I explained all this to Frannie, but she thinks the visit was a waste of time and refuses to admit Stephen isn’t a healthy man.” Caleb was disappointed the doctor couldn’t offer Stephen more help. Caleb suspected Stephen wouldn’t get better. He’d have to live with his limitations.
“Frannie needs to have more compassion for Stephen. She can’t keep making demands of him.” Rachael worried her brows.
“She won’t change. It’s maddening. He’ll do anything to make her happy. I wish she would do the same for him. He was exhausted. Instead of staying home and letting him rest, she drove the buggy to the restaurant in town.”
“Were they gone long?” Rachael pinched her lips.
“No. Stephen stumbled to bed as soon as they returned home. Frannie ignored him. She went on and on about the beef stroganoff she ordered at the restaurant. I couldn’t sit and listen to her for more than a couple of minutes. I retreated to my room about ten minutes after Stephen went to bed. I had to simmer down. She frustrates me.”
Joy and Thad skipped to them. Joy hugged Rachael and ignored Caleb. “I miss you.”
“Me too.” Thad nodded.
“I love you both.” Rachael hugged them.
Caleb squatted to Joy. “Want to play horseshoes? Thad, you can play with us.” He didn’t want Joy and Thad to dislike him. He could understand their loss of Rachael was difficult. He wouldn’t give up trying to befriend them. He loved kinner.
“Yes,” Joy and Thad said in unison, and followed him to the horseshoe pits.
* * *
Rachael grinned, watching the three of them walk away. She loved Caleb for showing Nathan’s kinner he wasn’t the enemy. He could’ve been polite but not cared enough to gain their friendship. He was more caring than many Amish men she knew.
Annie tapped her on the shoulder. “You’re deep in thought watching Caleb play with Joy and Thad.”
Rachael patted Annie’s protruding stomach. “How are you feeling?” Rachael had hoped Annie might consider working at the bakery, but then she learned her friend was with child. She was thrilled for her. Annie stuck close to home, and she didn’t get to talk to her friend often. Annie had been sick since she’d been with child.
“Excited, nauseous, and I ache all the time. I’m guessing I’m due around November 1. Abram’s already hoping we have another one after this boppli is born.” Annie chuckled.
“Any names picked out?” Rachael was happy the Hooks had moved to Charm last year.
Abram had kumme across gruff, and he’d confessed to Toby he’d been selling moonshine. But he turned his life around, and now he and Annie were happier in their marriage. He didn’t have to hide this anymore. Annie had forgiven him, and they were a cheery couple to be around. She wished Annie’s experience carrying her little one could’ve been a more pleasant one.
“We can’t decide. We change the names we like weekly.” She grinned. “How are things with Caleb?”
“He’s my soul mate. I love him.” Rachael blushed, but she was proud to tell Annie where she stood with him.
“I heard about your mamm and Joseph setting a wedding date. Maybe you could make it a double wedding.” Annie gave her an impish grin. “Or do you want to keep the weddings separate?”
“Caleb hasn’t proposed. But we have plenty of time. I wouldn’t be opposed to a double wedding.”
His responsibility to his family might keep him from proposing to her. She had to divulge to him what she’d kept to herself for so long soon, and then he may not want to marry her.
Abram came alongside Annie. “Rachael, always a pleasure. Annie, are you ready to go home?”
“Yes. Take care, Rachael.”
Annie and Abram departed.
Nathan approached her. “It’s nice of Caleb to play with the kinner. They are really enjoying themselves.” He faced her. “Rachael, I’ve been wondering about something, and I have to ask. Please give me an honest answer.”
Rachael stiffened. What on earth was left for them to discuss? She liked Nathan and she loved his kinner. She didn’t want anything to damage their friendship or make courting Caleb any more difficult. “What is it?”
“Before you met Caleb, would you have considered a marriage proposal from me?” Nathan stared into her eyes.
She rolled a rock under her shoe. “Yes. I probably would have married you.” She would’ve accepted an arranged marriage with him before she met Caleb, with the hope they’d fall in love. She would’ve been thrilled to raise Joy and Thad with him. With Caleb, she’d been smitten from the moment they met, and her love for him had grown each time they’d spoken. Falling in love with him had been effortless.
“Do you think you would’ve fallen in love with me, given time?” Nathan searched her face.
“I’m not sure. I would like to think so.” She didn’t want Caleb to overhear this conversation. She wouldn’t be dishonest with Nathan. He deserved the truth, even if it didn’t matter now.
“Danki for your frankness. It wouldn’t make a difference to you, but it does to me. I had to know. I didn’t realize until you left us that I had fallen in love with you. The time you’ve been with Caleb has made it more apparent to me. I chide myself often for taking you for granted.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “You’ll be pleased to know, I won’t ask you any more awkward questions.”
She managed a grin. “Thank goodness.”
“Congratulations. The happy topic for the day is your mamm and Joseph’s upcoming wedding. Do you and Toby approve?”
“Yes. It took me time to get used to the idea, but they’re in love and want to be together. Toby and I won’t stand in their way. The more Joseph and I talk, the more I like him.” Rachael glanced over at Mamm and Joseph, laughing about something, not too far away from them.
Ava approached them. “Rachael, how are you?”
“Doing well. Danki.”
“Nathan, take a stroll with me.” Ava flashed a big smile at him.
“Sure.” He nodded to Rachael and left with Ava.
Rachael was surprised Ava hadn’t given up on Nathan. He hadn’t made it easy for her to win him over. He’d be an excellent catch for any available woman. He was smart, kind, and loving and provided a good living for his family. He was also an active daed in his kinner’s lives.
Caleb approached her. “The kinner wore me out, but they’re a lot of fun. They’ve been upset with me since I took you away from them, but I may have won them over and shown them I can be their friend.” He chuckled.
“You were kind to entertain them. Where did they go?” Rachael searched the yard for the kinner over the sea of black bonnets and straw hats.
“Some of the other kinner invited them to play hide-and-seek.” Caleb removed the handkerchief he had tucked in his waistband and wiped his forehead. “It’s a beautiful day.”
“The sunshine is cheery and the temperature just right. All the running the kinner had you doing must’ve made you warm. They are a handful and full of energy.” Rachael caught sight of Joy running as fast as her short legs could carry her across the yard to a big oak tree.
“What did Nathan have to say?” Caleb cocked his head.
“Nothing much.” What was the point of upsetting Caleb? She’d keep their conversation to herself.
“Joseph and your mamm are getting a lot of attention today. Their big announcement has been met with a lot of support.” He guided her to a spot away from the crowd. “Rachael, I love you. I don’t want to wait another second without telling you.”
Her heart soared. “I love you too.”
Frannie rushed to them before Rachael could say anything else. “Caleb, kumme quick! Stephen has collapsed. I can’t rouse him.”
She and Caleb hurried to where Frannie and Stephen had been sitting at a picnic table near them. She gasped. Stephen was on his back on the ground. A crowd stood over him. She stepped back as Caleb pushed his way through the crowd and dropped to his bruder’s side. “Someone fetch Dr. Harrison.”
“Toby went to get him.” Magdelena held her hands to her cheeks.
Rachael knelt beside Caleb. “Do you hear a heartbeat?”
He had his ear to his bruder’s chest. “No.”
She checked for a pulse. “He doesn’t have a pulse.” This man was young, and he had a dochder, a fraa, and a bruder who needed him.
Frannie screamed. “Do something!” She got on the other side of Stephen and patted his cheeks. “Honey, please wake up. Wake up now!”
Rachael pressed a hand to her throat. Frannie’s desperation was sad. She wanted to help her and there was nothing she could do.
The crowd of their friends stood around them.
Dr. Harrison pushed his way through to them and addressed Caleb. “I was near here when Toby found me. I hope I’ve made it in time to help.” He crouched down beside Stephen. “All of you, please give me some room.” He threw open his bag and removed his stethoscope. He listened to Stephen’s chest and checked for a pulse. He sat back and shook his head. “I’m sorry. He’s gone. There’s nothing any of us can do.”
Rachael’s eyes pooled with tears. Her heart hurt for Caleb.
Frannie stepped between them and collapsed in Caleb’s arms. “What am I going to do?”
Rachael dabbed her eyes with the pads of her thumbs. She wished she could wash away their pain.
Frannie separated from Caleb. She headed for Hannah and Lily.
Hannah held Lily, who had fallen asleep in her arms. “Frannie, would you like me to take Lily home and keep her overnight for you? I’ll bring her home tomorrow. You’ll need time to yourself and to prepare for the services.”
“Yes. Danki.” Frannie nodded as she sobbed and accepted Rachael’s handkerchief and dabbed her eyes.
Rachael loved Hannah. She had worked at the bakery with her until she married. She was such a thoughtful friend to her and others. Always there to lend a hand when needed. She had a sweet spirit and was always the one to give the best advice. Lily would be in good hands.
Rachael looked at Caleb. “My heart breaks for you. What can I do?”
“You being here is all I need.” Tears trickled down his cheeks.
Toby put his hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “Andrew and I will take Stephen’s body to the undertaker for burial preparation.”
“Danki.” Caleb swiped a tear from his cheek.
Toby and Andrew carried Stephen’s lifeless body to Toby’s wagon and left.
“I’m sorry this has happened, Frannie and Caleb. When would you like the visitation and funeral services? I’ll be glad to clear my schedule and help with whatever you need.” Bishop Fisher held his Bible to his side.
Caleb rubbed his temple. “The undertaker will return his body tomorrow. Let’s have the visitation at three in the afternoon on Tuesday, and the funeral and burial right after.” He turned to Frannie. “Are you in agreement?”
“Yes. I don’t want to drag the services out. It’s too much for me to contend with guests. I may choose to stay in my room to grieve alone and have you tend to the visitors.” Frannie wiped her damp cheeks.
“As you wish.” Bishop Fisher asked their Amish friends to gather closer to him. “Stephen’s visitation will be held at his home at three on Tuesday. The funeral and burial services will follow. Ladies, please provide a dish of food for the family and attendees. Danki.”
Rachael’s friends gathered around her, offering their assistance. She answered their questions and then managed to get away and speak to Mamm. “I’m going to Caleb’s. He and Frannie may need me. Frannie’s emotional state is fragile. She may want another woman to talk to.”
“She’s in shock. She and Caleb will need you. I’ll provide chicken and noodles and a ham casserole for us to take on Tuesday. Give Caleb our love.” Mamm hugged her.
She nodded. “I will.”
Mamm had said “our” love. She’d glanced at Joseph when she said it. She’d get used to them being a couple, but it was the little references, such as this, that caught her off guard. Daed would’ve wanted Mamm to marry again. He wasn’t a selfish or jealous man. Rachael would be more supportive of them. She didn’t want Frannie and Caleb to suffer like she had when her fiancé and Daed passed away, but there was nothing she could do but be there for them. She parked her buggy in front of the haus and tied her horse to the hitching post.
Caleb opened the front door, a genuine look of love and relief on his dear face. “I heard your horse. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Where’s Frannie?” Rachael glanced around the room.
“She’s in her bedroom. I hope asleep. She’s not what I would call a strong person in any situation. I worry about her.” Caleb motioned for her to sit as he plopped on the settee.
“I’ll kumme and clean the haus after work tomorrow, and I’ll be here early Tuesday to greet guests and organize the food dishes. Toby will arrange for the men to bring benches and tables. You must be in shock.”
Caleb sighed and shook his head. “I am. He was my best friend. I expected to have a lot more time with him. We’ve always been close. There were things I wish I would’ve said to him.”
“He knew you loved him, and he had no doubt he could depend on you for anything. You and he shared a close companionship. Not all kinner have a special bond. It’s a gift. You were there for each other.”
She could relate to this. Toby was her rock. She could depend on him and discuss anything with him. She couldn’t imagine not having him in her life.
Tears stained Caleb’s face. He ran his fingers through his sandy-blond hair. “Danki for your help and encouraging words.”
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be. Are you hungry? Would you like some tea?” Rachael wasn’t sure what to do. Her heart was breaking for him. She’d wilkomed her friends around her to distract her from the agony of her fiancé’s, and then her daed’s, deaths. But not everyone would feel the same. Should she leave and let him grieve? He seemed lost.
“No. I had enough at dinner after the church service.”
Rachael covered his hand. “You’ve had a difficult day. I’m sure you could use some time alone.”
“Please don’t take offense, but I could use some time to myself. There’s much to consider, and I’m numb.” Caleb brushed his fingers against her cheek. “I meant what I said earlier. I love you, Rachael.”
“I love you more, Caleb.” She grinned and hoped to bring a smile to his face. She headed for the door.
He walked her to the back of the buggy, where no one would notice them, cupped her cheeks with his hands, and kissed her gently. “I would have to argue your point.”
She was giddy with happy butterflies in her stomach. He’d kissed her, and she’d often imagined what it might be like. It had been a sweet kiss and better than she’d anticipated. She hoped the kiss had brought him a minute of happiness on this sad day.
* * *
Caleb peeked in on Frannie. She’d fallen asleep. He wasn’t used to the quiet, and he didn’t like it. He grabbed a sweater and sat in the weathered rocker on the porch. He’d have to put a little oil on it to make the noise disappear. He pictured his bruder sitting next to him in the other rocker as they had done so many times. They’d been there for each other as they grew up, when their parents passed away, and at Stephen’s wedding. God had taken Stephen home at a young age. He knew God had Stephen’s best interests at heart, but it didn’t take the agony he felt inside away. He wondered if the ache from his bruder’s loss would ever end.
* * *
Caleb made scrambled eggs and bacon for Frannie and himself Monday morning. He hadn’t spoken with her since they’d returned home from Sunday services. He rapped on her door. “Frannie, breakfast is ready.”
She opened the door and followed him to the kitchen. Her light brown hair was matted against her face and she wore her robe over her nightdress. She had dark circles under her eyes. “I’m not hungry, Caleb.”
“Drink some warm coffee. It will help you wake up.” Caleb poured her a mug and set it in front of her.
She had always been impeccable. She’d never left her room unless she was dressed in her Amish skirt and blouse or dress. Her hair had always been in a neat bun under her kapp. Her long hair fell over her shoulders and down her back. She was a mess.
She put her elbows on the table and dropped her face into her hands. “I can’t believe Stephen isn’t here with us. What am I going to do without him, Caleb? I don’t want to live without him,” she blubbered.
He knelt before her and pushed a strand of light brown hair from her cheek. “I’m here for you and Lily. We’ll get through this together.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed.
He waited a minute and then gently pulled her arms away from him. “Drink some coffee and eat your eggs. You need your strength. We have much to do today and tomorrow.”
