Rachael's Decision, page 12
She relented and did as he asked. She stayed quiet and stared out the window. “Where’s Lily?” She gripped his shoulders and pleaded. “Where is she?”
He took her hands in his. “Hannah has her. Remember? She’ll bring her to you today. She wanted to give you time to yourself.” Caleb wasn’t sure anything he said registered with her.
He set his plate of eggs and bacon on the table and drank his coffee. She’d finished half her eggs and left most of the coffee. He didn’t leave a morsel of anything on his plate. They kept silent. He rose and carried his plate to the sink. He had filled the washtub for dirty dishes earlier. “I’ll be in the barn if you need me.”
Frannie didn’t answer.
He walked outside and met Hannah by the barn. “Greetings.”
Hannah parked her buggy. “Good morning. Lily was an angel. I loved keeping her last night. How are you and Frannie holding up?”
“Unkie.” Lily held out her arms to Caleb, and he accepted her from Hannah.
“We’re both in shock. Frannie’s in a bad way. She’s grief-stricken. I’m not sure she’s gotten dressed, and I’m not used to her being so despondent. She’s not said much.” Frannie wasn’t at a loss for words most of the time, and this was new to him.
“I can stay and help her dress. Don’t worry. I’ll tend to her and Lily.” Hannah headed to the haus.
“Danki.” Caleb understood why Rachael loved Hannah. She’d told him Hannah had befriended her and what a loyal, loving, and patient friend she’d been to her. Hannah hadn’t stopped trying to befriend Frannie, and his schweschder-in-law didn’t make it easy. She was negative on most subjects, and she didn’t have the same caring attitude as Rachael and Hannah.
* * *
Rachael left the bakery after work on Monday. She stopped at home. “Mamm, I’m going to help Frannie. I may stay the night if she needs help with Lily. I’m not sure how she is faring.”
“You should stay the night. This has been traumatic for their family. I’ll kumme to their home and help you tomorrow.” Mamm rubbed her back. “Give them my best. I still can’t believe Stephen has died. He was young.”
“It’s such a tragedy for Frannie and Caleb. Stephen was a loving bruder, husband, and daed. My heart aches for them. I’ll pack a bag to take and be on my way.” Rachael kissed Mamm’s cheek.
She went to her room, folded a clean dress, and grabbed a bonnet. She packed them in her clean flower sack and went to the Yutzys’ home.
Caleb met her buggy. “I’m glad you’re here. Hannah’s inside. She brought Lily home, but Frannie’s in no condition to take care of her. She has stayed in bed all day. I’m hoping she’ll get dressed and attend the services tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll stay tonight and care for Lily. Liza gave Magdelena and me permission to close the bakery tomorrow to free us to help with whatever you need. Mamm said she’ll kumme early. Our friends will organize the benches for the service, bring food, and lend a hand for anything we need.” She squeezed his hand. “How are you?”
“I’m numb. The undertaker returned Stephen’s body. He had a plain pinewood casket on hand. I moved the furniture around, and we put it on the long dining room table for viewing. I’ve already washed and dressed his body. We wouldn’t have had to embalm the body, but I needed Stephen out of the haus for Frannie’s sake, and maybe mine, for a day.”
“Most of the Amish in our community prefer to have the body embalmed, since they sometimes wait a longer period of time to have the services. It’s every family’s decision. I understand why you needed time to digest Stephen’s passing.”
Caleb took her bag. “Danki for being here for all of us.”
She clasped his arm. “Anything for you, Caleb.”
He walked with her, and they went inside the haus.
Hannah was on the living room floor, playing with Lily. “Lily, Rachael’s here.”
Lily clapped her little palms. “Rachie.” She toddled over to Rachael and held her arms high. “Unkie.” She grinned at Caleb.
Rachael lifted her into her arms and balanced her on her hip. “Are you having fun making pretend food with Hannah?”
Caleb set Rachael’s bag in the corner of the living room and rubbed Lily’s back.
Lily rested her head on Rachael’s shoulder.
Hannah chuckled. “Do you think we have enough bowls and wooden spoons? I found them in the kitchen. She loves them. I peeked in on Frannie. She’s asleep. Should I stay? She’s not up to caring for Lily.”
Rachael shook her head. “I brought an overnight bag. I’ll take over. Danki for all you’ve done.”
“Yes, danki, Hannah.” Caleb stood next to Rachael.
“I’ll kumme early to greet guests, organize the food dishes, and assist in any way I can.”
Rachael and Caleb nodded.
Hannah bid them farewell and headed out to her buggy.
Caleb followed Hannah to the buggy.
Rachael carried Lily to the kitchen. She removed the cover from a platter sitting on the oven. Hannah must’ve made meat loaf and potatoes. She set Lily in her high chair, tied a bib on her, and set a small bowl of applesauce and a spoon on her tray.
Lily banged the spoon on her tray and then dipped it into her applesauce.
Caleb returned and chuckled. “Lily’s having a good time with the applesauce.”
“She has more on her than in her mouth, but it keeps her occupied. Hannah cooked meat loaf and mashed potatoes while she was here. It’s warm and ready.”
“I’m not sure Frannie has had any food today. She should have something.” Caleb combed his fingers through his hair.
“I’ll try to wake her.” Rachael went to Frannie’s bedroom, sat on the edge of the bed, and pushed Frannie’s hair off her face. She’d left her hair loose. “I have meat loaf and mashed potatoes on the stove. Can I bring you a tray?”
Frannie opened her eyes and nodded.
“I’ll bring your food and water in as soon as it’s ready. Or would you like to kumme to the table? I can help you put on a dress and pin up your hair.”
Frannie shook her head and buried her face in the pillow, weeping.
“You rest. I’ll return soon.” Rachael’s throat dried.
Frannie scared her. She was too bereft to take care of herself, let alone Lily. The food would give her energy. Maybe she’d bathe, dress, and face the day tomorrow.
“How is she?” Caleb winced.
“Not good. I’m not sure she’ll be in any shape to greet friends or attend the services. She’s grief-stricken like no one I’ve ever been around. My heart aches for her. But she has a boppli who needs her.” She took the food off the stove, pulled a tray from the cabinet, spooned potatoes and a small serving of beef on a plate, added utensils, and filled a glass of water for her. “I’m taking this to Frannie.”
“I’ll fix our plates.” Caleb stood at the stove.
Rachael nodded, carried the tray to Frannie’s room, and set it on the nightstand. “Frannie, would you like me to help raise you into a sitting position?”
Frannie raised herself to sit up in bed.
Rachael tucked a pillow behind Frannie’s back. She positioned the tray over the widow’s lap. She was glad the tray had built-in short legs to support it.
Frannie stayed silent and lifted a forkful of potatoes to her mouth. Her eyes had a blank stare. “Danki.”
“I’ll kumme back to take the tray.” Rachael left the room but didn’t close the door.
Would Frannie snap out of this? Rachael had her doubts. She might have to ask Hannah to care for Lily for a while until Frannie became responsible again. The woman hadn’t even asked about her boppli.
She returned to the kitchen and joined Caleb and Lily. “Danki for fixing my plate.”
“Did Frannie accept the tray?” Caleb offered her sliced wheat bread.
“Yes, but she didn’t utter a word other than ‘danki.’ She has a blank stare. She managed to get into a sitting position, and she had a forkful of potatoes when I left her. I hope she empties her plate. The way she is now, she couldn’t care for Lily. She may not be fit to attend the services tomorrow.”
Caleb traced the rim of his glass. “When will she snap out of this? What am I going to do?”
She reached for his hand. “I don’t know when she’ll be ready to face life again. But you have me and our friends to help you. Hannah would love to take care of Lily. She loves kinner. Her mamm will also help. Our friends, Maryann, Liza, and Ellie, will take turns checking on Frannie until she’s feeling better. I will take care of the laundry and haus-cleaning after work. I’m hoping Frannie’s energy will return with the food she’s having, and then she’ll be in better shape tomorrow.”
Rachael and Caleb finished their supper. Rachael carried their plates to the sink. “I’ll fetch Frannie’s tray.”
She stepped into the room, and the woman ignored her. “I’m glad you finished most of your food. Is there anything I can get for you?”
Frannie shook her head, curled into a fetal position, and pulled the covers over her head.
Rachael returned to the kitchen. “I’m encouraged. She finished most of her food.”
“I’m glad.” He washed and dried the dishes.
“Do you want help with the dishes?” Rachael grabbed a dish towel.
“No. Danki. I’d appreciate it if you could put Lily to bed.”
“I’d love to.” She lifted Lily from the high chair. “Time for bed, little one.”
Lily patted Rachael’s cheeks. “Read?”
“Yes. We’ll read a story before you go to bed.” Rachael poured water from the white porcelain pitcher into the matching bowl on a small table in the corner of Lily’s room. She lowered Lily onto the changing table next to it, undressed her, and washed and dried her cute little body. “You’re a beautiful boppli.”
Lily grabbed a pink plastic rattle on the changing table and shook it.
Rachael dressed her and rocked her in the white rocking chair. She picked the small book that told about Noah’s ark and read to Lily.
Lily snuggled in her arms, and her eyes shut halfway through the story.
She lowered Lily into bed, covered her, and gazed at her sweet and innocent face. She would give anything to have a boppli. To experience being a mamm. She’d been at her happiest caring for Joy and Thad. She missed them and thought of them every day.
Caleb needed her. She should check on him. She went to the living room and Caleb sat in front of the fireplace.
“Kumme sit. The kitchen is clean.”
She glanced at Stephen’s casket on the long dining room table through the open doorway. Her eyes watered. She was sad he would no longer be with them. She liked his calm and kind demeanor. She would’ve liked to have gotten better acquainted with him. She couldn’t imagine how difficult it would be for her if Toby passed away. Her heart went out to Caleb.
She chose the chair next to him and wilkomed the beautiful orange hue of the small flames in the fireplace. “How are you feeling?”
“I can’t believe he’s gone, even though the pine box in the living room on the dining room table tells me otherwise. My best friend, my confidante, my bruder and adviser is gone. I’m going through the motions of what needs to be done, but I’m not myself. It’s as if I’m in a fog, and it’s difficult to think of anything but Stephen’s death.” He gazed into her eyes. “I love you, Rachael, with all my heart.” He raised her hand and kissed it.
She beheld him. “I love you, and we’ll get through this together.” She hadn’t loved another man since John died. Caleb, like John, was patient and God-fearing. They both were hardworking. Caleb was more opinionated and outspoken than John. He’d shown her this when he’d voiced his frustration with Frannie. Although she didn’t blame him. Frannie wasn’t like any of her Amish friends. She was a challenge, with her unfair expectations of Caleb and Stephen. The woman was also unreasonable about how much she depended on both Stephen and Caleb. What changes would Stephen’s death make in their lives?
Chapter 7
Rachael rose from the couch early Tuesday morning at Caleb’s haus. She fixed omelets for herself, Caleb, and Frannie. She scrambled eggs for Lily. She carried a tray into Frannie’s bedroom, and Caleb was there. “Frannie, I have breakfast for you. Caleb, yours is on the table.”
“Danki, Rachael.” Hands on hips, he gave Frannie a stern eye. “After you’ve finished your food, I expect you to dress and greet visitors. This day will be difficult for both of us. Lily needs you, and God will get us through this.”
Frannie accepted the tray from Rachael and lifted the coffee mug with a trembling hand. “Danki.”
“Do you want to attend the services today? Visit Stephen’s body before he’s buried? I’m sorry, Frannie. I realize this is all difficult for you.” Rachael covered Frannie’s hand with hers.
“I can’t face any of it. I’ll be in my room for the day. I don’t want to face anyone.” Frannie fixed her eyes on the tray.
Rachael followed Caleb out of the bedroom. “She chooses to hide away in her room. Maybe we should honor her wishes.” She worried Frannie couldn’t cope with being at the services. The widow hadn’t even asked about Lily. She didn’t want to push her to face the services today if she wasn’t ready.
“I understand she’s upset. But she has to accept this, and she can’t shut off the world around her. It’s not healthy. The more she withdraws and refuses to care for Lily or herself, I’m afraid she’ll grow worse.” Caleb answered a knock at the door. “Toby, danki for being here. Kumme inside.”
Toby shook his head. “I’ve got twelve men outside ready to unload benches from their wagons. Do you want some inside and out? It is sweater weather, and I’m hoping we have another sunny April day.”
“Yes. And the food tables can be outside.” Caleb stepped onto the porch. He held the door open. “Rachael, I’ll be outside if you need me.”
Rachael nodded. She was relieved Toby had distracted Caleb. She hoped Caleb wouldn’t insist Frannie dress and greet people. She could understand Frannie wanting this day to pass fast. She remembered the day of John’s services. Her true love was no longer the vibrant man she’d known. She’d wished she hadn’t viewed him in the casket and instead kept the last time she’d been with him alive burned in her mind. She’d leave Frannie alone and take care of Lily. She went to Lily’s room. “Good morning, sunshine.”
Lily held the railing and bounced up and down on her bed. “Rachie, up.” She stopped and held out her arms to Rachael.
She changed Lily’s nappy and carried her to Frannie’s room.
Lily held out her arms to Frannie. “Mum.”
Frannie had left her tray on the dresser. She was in bed and rolled to her other side with her back to them. “I’m sorry, Rachael. Please take care of her for me. I don’t have the energy to get out of this bed.”
“Very well.” Rachael left the room, and Lily buried her face in Rachael’s shoulder and whimpered.
She patted Lily’s back. “It’s all right, sweetheart.” She put her in the high chair and slid her omelet from the skillet onto a plate. She poured the scrambled eggs she’d put to the side to cool earlier in a bowl for Lily. She covered the skillet with the remaining omelet for Caleb. She and Lily emptied their plates, and then Rachael changed Lily into a fresh dress and set her in the playpen in the corner of the living room to play with her toys. Lily had a pleasant disposition and didn’t mind playing alone. Frannie had been blessed her boppli was easygoing.
Thirty minutes later, Mamm, Magdelena, Hannah, Ellie, Maryann, and other friends arrived. They cleaned the kitchen and greeted guests as they arrived. Hannah picked up Lily.
Rachael checked on Frannie. “Guests are here. What should I tell them?”
Frannie rolled to her side and met Rachael’s gaze. “Tell them I’m not up to greeting them or being a part of the services.” She closed her eyes.
Rachael left the room and organized the food outside.
Mamm came alongside her. “Where’s Frannie?”
“She prefers to stay in her room. She doesn’t want to face the guests or the services.” Rachael heaved a big sigh. “I’m worried. She’s shut herself off from us and Lily. I’ll stay here with her and Lily, instead of going to the burial. She shouldn’t be alone.”
“It’s been a shock for her, and staying with her is a good idea.”
Mamm’s friend pulled her away.
Magdelena pulled her aside. “How are you doing, dear friend? I can’t believe this has happened. Where’s Frannie?”
“She’s not up to greeting friends. This is a sad day for her, and I don’t mind taking care of Lily. My heart goes out to her. Her world has turned upside down with Stephen’s death.”
“I’ve not experienced a friend who has acted out this way, where they refuse to attend the services of a loved one or care for their boppli. Is there anything I can do?” Magdelena reached for Rachael’s hand.
Rachael clasped her friend’s fingers. “You’re already doing it by talking with me. I stayed here on the couch last night. This is a lot for Caleb to handle. He’s stepped into Stephen’s role with taking care of the land, haus chores, and Frannie and Lily. It’s a big adjustment.”
“Do you need time off from the bakery? We can ask Hannah to fill in.” Magdelena put her hands on Rachael’s shoulders.
“I don’t need to. Hannah can watch Lily. Caleb will be working. I’ll kumme after work to tidy the haus and cook meals if Frannie doesn’t resume life.” She loved Magdelena for her willingness to do whatever she could to help. She knew her friend would run the bakery by herself if she’d asked.
“Caleb is blessed to have you in his life.” Magdelena pointed to Hannah outside. “Hannah wants kinner, and she’s upset she’s not with child. I’m sure she’d love taking care of Lily until Frannie is up to watching her.”
“Yes. Lily loves her.” Rachael followed Magdelena outside.
Friends had worked like busy bees to prepare for the services now as they had for so many others. Caleb was surrounded by the husbands of her friends. Satisfied he was being taken care of, she headed inside and bumped into Bishop Fisher. “Excuse me. I should watch where I’m going.” She blushed. “May I offer you coffee or tea?”
