Survival Instincts, page 41
Lynn pondered the implication of those words as butterflies buzzed distractingly in her gut. She took in the people slowly filtering into the large open space, studied the gardens, the fires, the sheds. The Homestead was still a haven in an ocean of danger and death. More importantly, it was Dani’s home. Lynn didn’t know if it could ever be her home as well, but the alternative made her feel hollow—and not just because of the thought of losing Dani. She was being offered a chance to elevate her life from just barely surviving to living a good, full life within a well-functioning group.
“You don’t have to decide now,” Kate said. “How about a trial period? Stay until Dani is back to her old strength, take over her tasks once you are up to it, and see how you like it. If it works out, stay.”
Some of the tension in Lynn’s gut lessened. A trial period would give her time to get to know the Homesteaders and maybe—hopefully—see what she and Dani could be to one another. She licked her lips and nodded. “Maybe a trial period is not a bad idea.” Another smile threatened to settle on her features, and after a moment of hesitation, she allowed it to.
She made it to the bottom of the stairs before she was confronted with another Homesteader: Cody. Lynn steeled herself as he pushed off from the wall he’d been leaning against. I really wish I had my tomahawk. “Cody, what a lovely surprise.” She allowed every bit of sarcasm she could muster to color her voice.
“Well, you’re a hard woman to catch alone.” His smirk was full-on present, and he blocked the corridor with his bulk before she could slip past.
Lynn stopped and glanced back. Her legs were already recovering; maybe she could charge up the stairs if he tried anything. “I am remarkably popular today. I guess that’s why you’re lying in wait in a corridor?”
Cody shrugged with obviously feigned disinterest. “A man’s got to do…”
Something in the way he let the words hang unsettled Lynn. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and resisted the urge to take another step back; she didn’t want to show that much weakness. “Why don’t we cut the crap, hm? You’ve got something to say, so say it.”
His smirk faded. “I’ve been here long enough to know that Kate either already asked you to stay or she’ll do so soon.” He took a step forward.
Again, Lynn forced herself not to move back. She jutted her chin up and put her hands on her hips in an attempt to appear bigger than she was—or felt. “What if she did?”
“Then I want you to know I have my eye on you.”
Maybe it was the long day she’d had, her body’s unrelenting aches, or having to listen to yet another threat, but Lynn finally had enough of his bullshit. “What is your damn problem with me? We got off to a shitty start, but I got your damn leader guy back to you and Dani too! What more do you want from me before you stop acting like a dick?”
For once, she managed to catch him off guard; he deflated a little and his eyes widened. He recovered quickly. “You are my problem! You and all you Wilders!”
“All you Wilders? What does that even mean? It’s not like everyone who doesn’t live in a settlement is related.” She shook her head in dismissal.
“Maybe not, but you all think alike.”
“How many of ‘us’”—she made air quotes around the word—“have you even met? We don’t exactly roam in herds.”
“Enough to know that all you care about is yourself.”
There was definitely a story there, but she didn’t give a damn about Cody’s traumas. “Oh, I care, Cody, just not about you.” She pushed forward, meeting his bullshit head-on.
He squinted, inspected her. “Then who do you care about, Lynn?”
The use of her name didn’t go unnoticed. She realized for the first time that maybe he had a deeper meaning for terrorizing her than just throwing his weight around, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. She paused long enough for him to push on.
“That’s what I mean.” He took another step toward her, right into her space. He had to tilt his head down to continue to hold her gaze. “My wife and husband are here.” He let that sink in. “If it were up to me, I’d kick you out right now, because if you stay, their lives would depend at least partially on you, and you couldn’t care less.”
Lynn swallowed heavily and broke the gaze. He was right. She didn’t care about Ren or Eduardo the way she cared about Dani. That didn’t mean she wanted them to come to harm, though. Maybe before she’d undertaken this journey with Dani, she wouldn’t have cared, but now everything had changed. She looked back up. “Nothing is decided yet, but if I stay, I’m staying because I want to be part of the Homestead. That means doing my part to keep it safe—and if anything, you know I can do my part.”
Cody set his jaw as he seemed to ponder that. Finally, he straightened and took a deep breath. “If you ever endanger them, I’ll kill you.”
It sounded to Lynn as if that was as close to acceptance as he was ever going to come.
“I can live with that.”
After another pause, he stepped aside and swept his arm out to indicate she could pass.
She did, tensely.
“And Lynn?”
Lynn jolted and turned back. “Hm?”
“The same’s true for any of the others: hurt them and you’ll have to deal with me.” The anger had drained out of his eyes.
She nodded. “Understood.” When she turned around this time, she felt much more confident that he wouldn’t plant a knife in her back.
Dani was still awake, seemingly waiting for her to return. When Lynn entered, she smiled and settled more comfortably on the bed. Her hazel eyes didn’t move away from her. They never did during their talks, and it made Lynn feel special. She had Dani’s full attention, and she liked it.
Her own gaze was drawn to a familiar book, lying on the blankets over Dani’s legs. “Moby-Dick?” She looked at Dani questioningly.
Dani shrugged. She pointed at Lynn.
“What about me?” She sat down on the edge of Dani’s bed and picked up the book to leaf through. Some of the pages were original, but many more were hand-written, presumably copied once the originals had started to fall apart. The cover was made out of willow bark.
“For…you.” Dani smiled and reached for her hand.
Lynn offered it and squeezed as she laid the book on her lap, holding it protectively. Books were a rarity, and she’d hardly ever seen one, let alone touched any. “The book? But it’s Flint’s.”
Yes. “Borrow.” Dani’s smile widened. “Read.”
Lynn snorted. “He’s just trying to educate the Wilder.”
“Pffff!” Dani rolled her eyes and tapped: No!
“Yes,” Lynn countered. She ran her fingers over the cover and found herself smiling despite herself. Maybe he did do it just to be nice. With Flint, you never knew. “Anyway!” She turned her attention back to Dani after making a mental note to catch up with Flint later. “I talked to Kate.” And Dean and Cody. “And so did you. Did it go well?”
Yes. Dani shrugged.
“You’ll be having that talk again when you get your words back?”
Dani confirmed that too. Then she tapped her index finger rapidly, urging Lynn on.
Lynn took a deep breath. “She…invited me to stay. At the Homestead.”
The tapping stopped. Dani’s eyes widened for a moment, then she deliberately tapped her index finger again, just once. The question was clear in her eyes: “Did you say yes?”
“Yeah, I said ‘yes,’ at least to a trial period.” She scanned Dani’s features to see how that landed.
A spark appeared in Dani’s eyes, bringing them fully to life for the first time since before the bear attack. She tapped her index finger excitedly.
“So, good idea?” Lynn smiled, insides fluttering again at the thought of a trial period not just with Dani but with the Homesteaders as well.
Dani’s eyes watered. “Yes.” She rasped the word, but it was perfectly clear. She tapped her index finger too. “Stay.”
Lynn inspected her face, trying to read every nuance. She was getting very good at it because of the limitations in their communication. “Dani, if…if I stay…” Her heart thumped in her chest. She held Dani’s gaze with difficulty. Heat returned to her cheeks. “If I stay, I’d stay to be with you.”
Dani tapped her hand.
Before she allowed herself to breathe in relief, Lynn made sure it was her index finger, a “yes.”
“You. Me. Together.” Dani strained for every word, and the last caused her chest to heave as she ran out of breath.
“Are you sure you want that?”
Yes. Dani’s gaze was intense as she all but tried to push her thoughts directly into Lynn’s skull.
Lynn took Dani’s hand into both of hers and lifted it to her lips for a kiss. The fear was still there, swirling in her gut, reminding her of the scars she carried over people she’d lost, but when Dani smiled at her, it faded. “All right, that’s settled, then, I guess. You and I can figure out how to do this…together thing.”
Dani rolled her eyes. “Relationship.”
The word made Lynn a little dizzy, but in a good way. She held Dani’s hand up so Dani could see it and tapped “yes.”
Epilogue
The sun bore down heavily on Lynn’s back as she traversed the broad New York City streets.
Skeever went from rubble pile to rubble pile, sniffing eagerly. He’d found a stick to drag along and did so proudly. The splint was still on his paw, but if Skeever mourned the loss of function in it, it didn’t show; he moved as agilely as he had always done.
Lynn kept an eye on him as she followed a now-familiar path through one of New York’s many destroyed neighborhoods. “This way, Skeeve.” She pointed her tomahawk in the right direction and waited for him to move past her. As she did, she looked around and smiled. It was amazing how quickly she’d become familiar with the city’s streets. She was starting to get a grip on its patterns—when the lions hunted, where they rested, where the deer trails were, and where the rabbits had their holes. She knew where to get water and in which of the large ponds alligators lurked under the surface.
The streets of New York City had not lost their dangers, but they were dangers she now knew to expect. Above all, she had a mental map of the many shelters and safe spots strewn about the city blocks. She hadn’t been forced to stay out overnight yet, but no matter where she went, she knew she was never more than an hour’s walk away from a safe place to sleep and that it would have all the materials she’d need to make a fire in a hurry.
Tonight wouldn’t be the first night she’d spend outside; it was midday, and she was closing in on the Homestead. She had two more traps to check, and even if they were empty, she’d go home with enough food to feed every member of her newly found home. Two large hares and a capuchin monkey had been lured into her snares, and today’s main target, the fish traps she’d built in an offshoot of the Flushing Bay, had yielded three weakfish and a few menhaden.
She felt good about her haul. Not only was she still proving herself an asset to the Homesteaders, she was also picking up the slack while Dani was recovering and couldn’t pull her weight.
Lynn checked the position of the sun and quickened her step. She was running late, and Dani hated it when she was late.
“You’re late.” Dani smiled and hoisted herself up from the ground by the gate. Her newly repaired spear served as a crutch as she slowly straightened out. Her motions were getting smoother, and it was good to see a healthy glow on her cheeks.
“Sorry, good haul, so a lot of traps to reset.” Lynn followed her inside and out of Flint’s view as he stood guard on the window washer’s rig. She resisted the urge to cup Dani’s cheek as she leaned in to kiss her. She’d wiped her hands, but blood and fish guts tended to linger.
Dani hummed and wrapped her arms around her neck. She pressed close and ran her fingers through Lynn’s hair in the way that always gave Lynn goose bumps. Dani’s tongue running over her lips intensified the feeling, and now Lynn really had to fight to keep her hands off her.
“Mean…” But she claimed another kiss and slipped a little tongue of her own.
This time it was Dani who shuddered. “Mmmm…go clean up, Wilder, we have a date to get to.”
Lynn grinned. A date. If anyone had told her prior to meeting Dani she’d ever go out into the Wilds for anything other than sheer survival, she would have laughed in their face. Now she ran up five flights of stairs with a wicker basket bouncing on her back and Skeever squirming in her arms just so she would be on time for it.
Ren looked up, startled, as Lynn skidded to a halt in the kitchen.
“I’ll take care of these when we get back.” She put Skeever down and dropped the basket just inside the door. Her lungs burned much more than she liked from the short run, but she was gaining strength every day. She had time to pace herself now, just not when she was trying to be on time for “date afternoon.”
Skeever shook himself out and instantly stuck his nose into the basket.
Lynn hurried to snatch the wicker up and put it on the barrels in the corner instead.
“Good catch?” Ren halted with a brush in one hand and a potato in the other.
“Great catch! Feel free to have a look. Fish for dinner tonight.” Lynn made sure to keep her dirty hands away from walls and furniture.
Ren’s entire face lit up. Of all the people in the Homestead, she liked fish more than almost everyone else, right after her husband. “I’ll tell Cody.” Nothing had endeared Lynn to Cody more than the first time she’d brought home a striped bass.
“Tell him to leave some for the rest of us.” Lynn had already backed out of the room. “We’ll be back. Please watch Skeever.”
“Have fun!” Ren shook her head, but the smile that appeared on her features was genuine.
Lynn took the stairs down with equal speed only a few minutes later. This time when Dani appeared in her field of vision, she wrapped her up for a genuine kiss, clean hands traversing her back. She was still careful with Dani’s slowly healing wounds, but Ren had taken the stitches out a week ago and Dani had already regained most of the weight she’d lost during her recovery.
Just to have Dani up and about again—although slowly—was a relief Lynn was grateful for every single day she woke up next to her. She didn’t have a doubt that before long, Dani would be out with her to trap, hunt, and explore.
The subject of trading and scavenging farther away from the Homestead was often broached but never decided upon. Dani had to be stronger first, and Lynn wasn’t at the peak of her abilities yet either. Years of malnutrition and adverse conditions were manifesting now that Lynn had the opportunity to rest, eat regularly, and sometimes even relax and do absolutely nothing. She needed more time to recover, and as long as she provided in her own way, people were patient. Because of their recovery, their trial period was officially still in effect, but so far, Lynn hadn’t found a single reason not to extend it indefinitely.
“We’re going to miss them,” Dani said against her lips. She slid her fingers into Lynn’s hair and pulled her closer. Despite Dani’s still frail condition, there had been plenty of time to explore and discover, and Dani knew damn well what running her fingers through Lynn’s hair did to her.
Lynn shivered and pulled back with great reluctance as a now very familiar need settled low in her gut. She shook her head and took Dani’s hand. “It’s a block away. We’re not going to miss them, unless, of course, you keep teasing me.”
Dani shrugged, eyes full of mischief. “I wasn’t doing anything of the sort.”
Lynn snorted and tugged at Dani’s arm so they could start the short walk to their destination. “You are a damn liar, Dani Wilson.”
“Am not.” Dani laughed and bumped against her as she gripped her hand.
“You are, and I’m okay with it.” Lynn glanced aside and took in Dani’s sharp features, slowly filling in now that she was eating again and the fever was long gone. Dani’s walking speed was still slow, but Lynn didn’t feel the need to rush her. They had made the trek at least a dozen times now, and they knew every shadow and obstacle to watch. Lynn wouldn’t say she felt safe, but she certainly felt prepared. Her tomahawk lay as comfortably in her hand as Dani’s hand did in the other.
They made it up the ladder to the lookout point with only seconds to spare. Dani hurried across the gravel-covered roof as fast as her sore abdomen allowed and eagerly looked out over the street below.
Lynn caught up and wrapped her arms around Dani’s waist from behind, laying her chin on her shoulder.
Already the sound of distant thunder filled the air.
She pressed her lips against Dani’s shoulder. “I told you we’d make it.”
Dani wrapped her arms around Lynn’s and stroked the back of her hand with her fingertip. “You were right.” She leaned her head back, but her gaze remained glued to the left side of the street.
“I usually am.” Lynn took the slap to her arm as well-deserved punishment.
“Here they come.” Dani craned her neck.
The herd appeared around the corner like clockwork. They filled the width of the street with ease and bleated warnings about obstacles in their path for the rows of peers behind them. They were heading out of the city for the night after drinking from the park’s pond. Lynn had tracked their progress one day, just to see where they were going and where they came from, and once she realized they always came through here, she had taken Dani along as a kind of recovery walk. The black and white stripes still made for a jarring image, and Lynn’s eyes failed to settle on any one of the zebras specifically.
Dani’s head moved from side to side lightly as she had the same dizzying reaction. “They always make me think of Richard.”
